What are the Pros/Cons of living with your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
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I'm grown enough to know that someone being pregnant and moving in with a man whose 8 years her senior hoping he'll change is a terrible, awful idea. They will inevitably break up and she'll end up being a baby mama. Maybe the abortion part was a little too far but in some cases it is absolutely the best decision.
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WRONG!
When you live with your significant other... guess what.. you get to see them ALL the time so that "missing you" element is gone which directly correlates to sex. OP will constantly be tired for whatever reason or you will have a headache which will make your BF constantly nag you for sex. You now feel as though you are forced to do it so you will not be into it. So in other words the romance part of your relationship will probably disappear. He will realize something is up so his performance will drastically be reduced because he just wants to get it over with and doesn't want to talk about 'feelings'. Your BF will now become a 2 minute man and your typical sex session will be.. get it in.. finish.. go to bed. I mean in my experience, if the girl is not into it, then there is no need to for those 1-2 hour sex sessions. It's more of a wham bamm thank you maam!
Then there is this element of his freedom. Since he can't go out anymore, the man will usually will become a homer. He will stop hitting the weights and rather just play Xbox every night. Plus he could care less what he wears so typically he will just put on some bball shorts to go out to dinner.
Another con, once you move in together... you guys will become overweight slobs... that is a guarantee.
Then there is the arguing. You guys will constantly disagree about stupid crap like what's for dinner or he didn't take out the garbage.
Oh the Pros.... you save money on living expenses. Hmmm what else... ???
da r entertainment
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Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE
WRONG!
When you live with your significant other... guess what.. you get to see them ALL the time so that "missing you" element is gone which directly correlates to sex. OP will constantly be tired for whatever reason or you will have a headache which will make your BF constantly nag you for sex. You now feel as though you are forced to do it so you will not be into it. So in other words the romance part of your relationship will probably disappear. He will realize something is up so his performance will drastically be reduced because he just wants to get it over with and doesn't want to talk about 'feelings'. Your BF will now become a 2 minute man and your typical sex session will be.. get it in.. finish.. go to bed. I mean in my experience, if the girl is not into it, then there is no need to for those 1-2 hour sex sessions. It's more of a wham bamm thank you maam!
Then there is this element of his freedom. Since he can't go out anymore, the man will usually will become a homer. He will stop hitting the weights and rather just play Xbox every night. Plus he could care less what he wears so typically he will just put on some bball shorts to go out to dinner.
Another con, once you move in together... you guys will become overweight slobs... that is a guarantee.
Then there is the arguing. You guys will constantly disagree about stupid crap like what's for dinner or he didn't take out the garbage.
Oh the Pros.... you save money on living expenses. Hmmm what else... ???
I lived w/ my wife prior to her becoming that.
Pros - your relationshiop deepens, period.
Cons - when other pressures/things in your life are going on, it can become an issue where you may feel you no longer have your "own space". So you may need to find a new outlet.
Advice: when something bugs you, tell them. Don't wait for the 144th time to say something, set it up from the beginning since it's new to the both of you.
Pros - your relationshiop deepens, period.
Cons - when other pressures/things in your life are going on, it can become an issue where you may feel you no longer have your "own space". So you may need to find a new outlet.
Advice: when something bugs you, tell them. Don't wait for the 144th time to say something, set it up from the beginning since it's new to the both of you.
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This stuff.. and space at times, everyone needs space.. let him continue doing what he was doing before you guys moved in.
It's not as dramatic as some of these virgins are making it out to be.. if you see a long future with the guy do it, and since you two are due soon it looks like it's the perfect time to move in together and settle down before the baby comes..
EDIT: also what LazyJ said when something bugs you, tell em and let him know
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Eventually you will both get too comfortable with each other, to the point where you guys won't excite each other... which will lead to cheating, heartache, and fighting to stay together just because you have a kid... or you moving out and becoming an official baby mother.
OR
You guys will be happy.
I wish you both the best
OR
You guys will be happy.
I wish you both the best
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- Jan 17, 2012
Its more than a little too far, its pure disrespectful. Clearly you're not that grown if you don't see the problem in telling an expecting mother you don't even know personally to get an abortion.
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Then apparently you're not grown if you can't see the sad truth that she's in a terrible situation. Statistics do not lie, champ
Also lol@disrespect over the interwebs
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All downhill from that point on
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Okay, just want to clear it up that I do not want to change him. I do not expect things to get "better" they are fine already.
I just was looking to hear the simple ways that some of your significant other's make you smile when you come home to them.
The idea of making this thread came to me when I was in the shower, I thought to myself "I need to find out what kind of body wash he uses so I can make sure when I pick mine up, I can get his and make sure he always has a fresh bottle." Stuff like that, not looking to change the man, just some tips on what makes living together more enjoyable.
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- Sep 19, 2003
something seems ehh about this. My ex and I lived together for a few months. She was someone totally different after a while. I had to deuce her out of the relationship. Now, 3yrs later I've been dating my current gf for over a year now, but known her for several. I see her daily 24/7 yet we still give eachother our space. She doesn't technically live with me but is over everyday/night. I have no problem with that and we enjoy eachothers company. If I wanted to be out there trying to smash , I woulnd't be wasting my time or hers. The real questions here for you is. Does your man drive Da Hemi?
If you and him were to break up. Could you manage to make it on your own?. Could he? I'am good with or without a female. I got my stuff figured out for myself regardless if my lady comes along or not. YOLO/DOLO/SOLO
-UNDFT-
If you and him were to break up. Could you manage to make it on your own?. Could he? I'am good with or without a female. I got my stuff figured out for myself regardless if my lady comes along or not. YOLO/DOLO/SOLO
-UNDFT-
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- Jan 25, 2011
Come on, gORJESS.. you're asking a board full of guys that are scared of living with a woman, getting married and only date super models and adult stars...
just take care of your guy and dont get aggravated by little things that annoy you..
just take care of your guy and dont get aggravated by little things that annoy you..
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Just thought I would try and get some of the mature opinions off of here lol
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Fair enough. To answer your question, and I know it's going super stereotypical, but have some food ready at random times. Nothing made me happier than a plate or sandwich or something with a note when I came home and she was at class or work.
quik1987
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sandwiches and bjs
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Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE
WRONG!
When you live with your significant other... guess what.. you get to see them ALL the time so that "missing you" element is gone which directly correlates to sex. OP will constantly be tired for whatever reason or you will have a headache which will make your BF constantly nag you for sex. You now feel as though you are forced to do it so you will not be into it. So in other words the romance part of your relationship will probably disappear. He will realize something is up so his performance will drastically be reduced because he just wants to get it over with and doesn't want to talk about 'feelings'. Your BF will now become a 2 minute man and your typical sex session will be.. get it in.. finish.. go to bed. I mean in my experience, if the girl is not into it, then there is no need to for those 1-2 hour sex sessions. It's more of a wham bamm thank you maam!
Then there is this element of his freedom. Since he can't go out anymore, the man will usually will become a homer. He will stop hitting the weights and rather just play Xbox every night. Plus he could care less what he wears so typically he will just put on some bball shorts to go out to dinner.
Another con, once you move in together... you guys will become overweight slobs... that is a guarantee.
Then there is the arguing. You guys will constantly disagree about stupid crap like what's for dinner or he didn't take out the garbage.
Oh the Pros.... you save money on living expenses. Hmmm what else... ???
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- Jan 12, 2003
Just reading through some of these replies, I've never seen so many out of touch awful recommendations in one post (well, maybe).Originally Posted by gORJESS
Just thought I would try and get some of the mature opinions off of here lol
If you'd like some advice feel free to PM me, its not a bad experience at all if you make it work.
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- Jan 25, 2011
Originally Posted by gORJESS
Just thought I would try and get some of the mature opinions off of here lol
i live with my girl, for the past 2 years now.. and there is nothing that you should have to do as special. as long as he does the same for you and you dont argue about little non issues then you'll be fine. most on this board dont have a gf, or want to live with one and are terrified of marriage. besides, if you want him to be happy and he wants you to be happy, it should all work out.
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this isn't true at all...it just takes more substantive reasoning/convincing to change.Originally Posted by CrunchyBlack9
The truth is being spoken here. Take head. A dude at 30 aint gonna change. If he aint changing now, he aint never gonna change. He only gets more set in his ways.Originally Posted by OGMIKEY
If he doesn't already there's a high probability you'll end up just a baby mama. Just sayin'
Also, how long were you both together before your pregnancy?
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Food...
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You seem like a nice person. Don't know your situation or anything, but I legitimately wish you two the best of luck. I'll give some advice this time around. Granted, I can't really speak for your man, but I'll list some things that are somewhat of a frequently reoccurring issue whenever I spend a lot of time with a woman in a relationship:
1. Mixing Friends - You want your best friends to get along with your man and vice versa. Nothing wrong with doing a double date every now and then, going to a party or two, awesome. I think the problems arise when you try to get your SO and their friends (either intentionally or unintentionally) to assimilate into your group of friends. I was talking it over with a platonic friend and she said she felt the same way. And because you guys are going to be living together, it might be something you pay attention to. You both are independent people with a set group of friends, so enjoy your friends' company, and allow him to do the same. (And don't take offense to it when he says he's not up for chilling with your friends! He probably just wants to lounge around the house, or kick it with his friends.)
2. Getting Too Comfortable - This is something that EVERY relationship has a problem with. Especially if you're living together (I've never moved in with a woman, but there have been times where it sure seemed like it.) I can't speak for your relationship, but you've probably come to expect certain things from your SO. It's natural. Just be sure not to falter with those things. I dated a girl for a while, she would frequently come over, and then one day she goes to the bathroom and starts blowing it up... and doesn't close the door.
3. Saving Time For Yourself(ves) - This is a multifaceted point. Solitude might be one of the most under appreciated ways we spend our time, and we often don't miss it until it's gone. This is especially the case for you if you have a child coming (and I'm guessing it's your first.) You guys are going to get on each others nerves. It's natural. That's not the problem, what you do afterwards is. If you get into an argument, its okay to go over a friend's house to just chill and not talk $#@% about the fight. It's cool to go for a walk. It's also cool to ask your SO for some personal time at the house (get him and his homie tickets to the game or something.) Keep some time for yourself so you don't crazy. You should also spend time together working on your relationship. I'm sure you're going to feel inclined to invite people over all the time once you get the new place, but I'd suggest spending a month or at least a couple weeks just getting to know each other's living habits. How you live at your SO's place is a LOT different from how you live at your own place, and the little things (like the toilet seat, putting dirty dishes in the sink vs. on the counter, etc) can drive you crazy.
4. Money - With a shared living space comes shared finances. If you guys are cool with getting a combined account, cool, but keep your separate account. No ifs, ands, or buts. Personally... I don't care if a ninja gave it to you with navigation, don't go there...
5. Baby - This is a special instance, and I don't have any kids, but I would encourage you two to talk about everything when it comes to your upcoming child. Every thing. EVERY THING. E-V-E-R-Y space T-H-I-N-G. Schools in the area of the new place, day care centers that are close by (if one of you isn't going to stay home,) parks, clothes you want to buy for him/her, who is going to stay in on weekends, who is going to pick-up drop off, etc.
Hope this helps. And some tips to just keep your man happy in general:
a. You two are just chilling, watching TV by yourselves. Whip a titty out and start rubbing it and see how long it takes for him to realize it.
b. Your man just got back from work/gym/etc. You have several options that will make him happy:
i. Have the game playing on the TV when he walks in the door with a cold beer waiting.
ii. Grab him by the belt loop, direct him to the room, and slide him that awesome jawsome.
iii. Be finishing up dinner, his favorite.
c. You wake up before your man usually? Pick a random day and wake him up to you wearing lingerie.
d. You can visibly see him engaged with something on TV? Don't start talking to him. And ESPECIALLY don't start talking to him about a problem. Is it really so urgent that it can't wait for an hour?
e. Have a date night planned out before you nag him about taking you out.
f. What are his hobbies? Offer to take him and his friends to something that they all like, and don't assume that you will be included in the equation.
lubu1
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Ah, sorry babe, but your situtional looks like future baby momma status. Hes too old for you and your too young for him. His older man side is gonna show when yall move in, and your young girl phase will show too. I wish you luck cheeks, but I pray mostly for that unborn baby. Its gonna be a lot of arguing. Girlll!!!!!
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I really appreciate your insight, tips and advice!Originally Posted by Yeah
You seem like a nice person. Don't know your situation or anything, but I legitimately wish you two the best of luck. I'll give some advice this time around. Granted, I can't really speak for your man, but I'll list some things that are somewhat of a frequently reoccurring issue whenever I spend a lot of time with a woman in a relationship:
1. Mixing Friends - You want your best friends to get along with your man and vice versa. Nothing wrong with doing a double date every now and then, going to a party or two, awesome. I think the problems arise when you try to get your SO and their friends (either intentionally or unintentionally) to assimilate into your group of friends. I was talking it over with a platonic friend and she said she felt the same way. And because you guys are going to be living together, it might be something you pay attention to. You both are independent people with a set group of friends, so enjoy your friends' company, and allow him to do the same. (And don't take offense to it when he says he's not up for chilling with your friends! He probably just wants to lounge around the house, or kick it with his friends.)
2. Getting Too Comfortable - This is something that EVERY relationship has a problem with. Especially if you're living together (I've never moved in with a woman, but there have been times where it sure seemed like it.) I can't speak for your relationship, but you've probably come to expect certain things from your SO. It's natural. Just be sure not to falter with those things. I dated a girl for a while, she would frequently come over, and then one day she goes to the bathroom and starts blowing it up... and doesn't close the door.I don't care about you using the bathroom, I don't even care if it smells like death, but you've been closing the door for all of this time and all the sudden you feel like "we reached the next level" and that excuses you from closing the door? MAN. *Track 13, Dedication 3.* This is just one example though. If you're fit and go to the gym, try to keep that habit up. You keep your place clean for when your SO comes over? Do the same when you live with them.
3. Saving Time For Yourself(ves) - This is a multifaceted point. Solitude might be one of the most under appreciated ways we spend our time, and we often don't miss it until it's gone. This is especially the case for you if you have a child coming (and I'm guessing it's your first.) You guys are going to get on each others nerves. It's natural. That's not the problem, what you do afterwards is. If you get into an argument, its okay to go over a friend's house to just chill and not talk $#@% about the fight. It's cool to go for a walk. It's also cool to ask your SO for some personal time at the house (get him and his homie tickets to the game or something.) Keep some time for yourself so you don't crazy. You should also spend time together working on your relationship. I'm sure you're going to feel inclined to invite people over all the time once you get the new place, but I'd suggest spending a month or at least a couple weeks just getting to know each other's living habits. How you live at your SO's place is a LOT different from how you live at your own place, and the little things (like the toilet seat, putting dirty dishes in the sink vs. on the counter, etc) can drive you crazy.
4. Money - With a shared living space comes shared finances. If you guys are cool with getting a combined account, cool, but keep your separate account. No ifs, ands, or buts. Personally... I don't care if a ninja gave it to you with navigation, don't go there...
5. Baby - This is a special instance, and I don't have any kids, but I would encourage you two to talk about everything when it comes to your upcoming child. Every thing. EVERY THING. E-V-E-R-Y space T-H-I-N-G. Schools in the area of the new place, day care centers that are close by (if one of you isn't going to stay home,) parks, clothes you want to buy for him/her, who is going to stay in on weekends, who is going to pick-up drop off, etc.
Hope this helps. And some tips to just keep your man happy in general:
a. You two are just chilling, watching TV by yourselves. Whip a titty out and start rubbing it and see how long it takes for him to realize it.
b. Your man just got back from work/gym/etc. You have several options that will make him happy:
i. Have the game playing on the TV when he walks in the door with a cold beer waiting.
ii. Grab him by the belt loop, direct him to the room, and slide him that awesome jawsome.
iii. Be finishing up dinner, his favorite.
c. You wake up before your man usually? Pick a random day and wake him up to you wearing lingerie.
d. You can visibly see him engaged with something on TV? Don't start talking to him. And ESPECIALLY don't start talking to him about a problem. Is it really so urgent that it can't wait for an hour?
e. Have a date night planned out before you nag him about taking you out.
f. What are his hobbies? Offer to take him and his friends to something that they all like, and don't assume that you will be included in the equation.
I am worried about the whole space thing, being neither of us have ever lived with a SO - I wanted to do it sooner rather than later because I did want time to adjust with him and I before the baby comes, but were pushing it off until late summer for financial reasons. I know things arent going to be easy in the beggining but I am willing to work on it for our family.
Thanks again
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- Oct 7, 2008
Lol, I know that there is a chance things wont work out in the end...but I hope for the best.
Just curious, but why do you think the age difference will cause such a problem?
