What does it mean to be a man to you?

[iblink]

Not sure if this thread has been made recently. But w/e.

Talking to my ex a few minutes ago and the topic of marriage (not to her in particular, just marriage in general) comes up. She says I won't get married soon because I'm too stubborn/focused on my future. In a sense this is true because I don't think it's something a guy should do until he is ready to be a provider, care taker, etc. I told her "I can't see myself getting married as long as I'm still getting help from my mother. If I can't take care of myself 100%, how can I look a man in his face and ask his blessings to marry his daughter?" I asked her how would she view her husband if he were the kind of guy who relied on her more than she did on him. Then she goes on about how admirable that was and how she understands why I'd always avoid the topic when we were together (mind you, I've said it to her when we were dating, but some girls tend to have a bad habit of hearing something other than what was said).

But this talk got me to thinking. What does it mean to be a man in your opinion? Not just with respect to dating/marriage, but overall.

For me, it's about being able to stand on your own two feet and making a way out of no way when necessary. It's about making sure that those that you have obligations to are provided for. Being a man is being able to assert yourself and having your aura/character demand respect without you ever having to ask to be respected.

 

[thunderchunk69]

respect, perseverance, loyalty, keeping your word.

 

[djyoung08]

Providing and caring for your family

 

[Mactastic4167]

To me, Independence is key. I pride myself knowing that when I left my parents at 17, I have never had to ask anyone for anything. But remaining humble is just as important.

 

[blazinrook]

-being truly independent but not too proud to get help when needed.
-being able to take care of responsibilities
-being able to think for themselves
-being able to provide (financially, emotionally, physically)
-being able to take care of people around them.
-not letting anyone negatively effect their lives and the ones they love.
-being morally sound without letting anger, frustrations, or past wrong doings taint their views.

 

[dt43]

To me, it comes from fully understanding that you are only accountable to yourself in this life. No matter what decisions you make, at the end of the day it's your life and you are the one who will deal with it - no one else has a say.

When it's all said and done, when you are on your death bed no one will be there with you. No one will be there to ask you "Why did you do this?" or "Why didn't you do that?" A man (women too, no sexist) understands this fully and lives his life accordingly.

Thinking about it may feel like a burden to bear, but we all have to face that challenge.

 

[iblink]

Repped ^

 

[D StaXX]

To me, it comes from fully understanding that you are only accountable to yourself in this life. No matter what decisions you make, at the end of the day it's your life and you are the one who will deal with it - no one else has a say.
When it's all said and done, when you are on your death bed no one will be there with you. No one will be there to ask you "Why did you do this?" or "Why didn't you do that?" A man (women too, no sexist) understands this fully and lives his life accordingly.
Thinking about it may feel like a burden to bear, but we all have to face that challenge.

I needed to see this. Repped.

 

[atlien seeko]

A long time ago, some chick asked me this question, and for the first time ever, I really stopped and thought about it...

She asked me, "When did you first realize you became a man?"

And my answer was this...

When I realized that any and everything that happens to me in my life from this point forward happens because of the decisions I make and I am solely responsible.

I dont think I could have come with a better answer.

 

[Bert.]

eating the box

srs

 

[dankenstien88]

11 inches...













Seriously though it all comes down to trust, responsibility and accountability.

 

[kermitthefloer]

I believe it is when I can take care of myself, my family, and help out extended family when needed. I have seen my uncle do it, and although he is comfortable he is not rich. I say this because my family is really close. And I do not mean pay everyone's rent or what not, but if a cousin, sibling or aunt/uncle need help at a time for any reason I can help them, with the hope that they can help me when it is needed. 

It happens when I can make decisions and live with it, not saying I wont go back and think about it, but knowing that it is done and at the moment I thought it was the best decision. I can do that now but I still think on things too much. 

I too feel I need to be fully independent of everyone else. 

 

[Kev93]

Being able to pay for your own gas.

 

[got shoes]

all good valid points in here.

 

[iblink]

You guys think there's an age where every guy should put childish ways aside and try to figure out what it means to be a man? And not only figure it out, but actualize the concept as well?

 

[guzzy]

^^ 

Everyone matures at different points in their life. Dudes' priorities are

 all wack until they really start to think about themselves.

A MAN to me, coming from a dude with no Father

-Always being there for fam, friends and seeds.(Don't know how many good for nothing Dads I see

)

-Being confident in one's self.

-Being responsible for his actions,while not blaming others for his incoveniences.

-Being able to forgive people who have done him harm in any way,but not forgetting.

-Able to pick himself up after a fall, no matter how long it takes.

-Not letting his ego get the best of him,pride's good,but too much can be a bad thing.

-Being faithful to his spouse.

-Dissolves altercations with words not fists.

-Being a role model to the young one's. 

 

[ijumpman]

Being a man means being independent (unless disabled), having self-respect, providing for and taking care of your family, and treating others with respect.

 

[atlsfinest]

You guys think there's an age where every guy should put childish ways aside and try to figure out what it means to be a man? And not only figure it out, but actualize the concept as well?

nope. for some people its 16 for others its 30 and some never get there.

 

[iblink]

^^ 
Everyone matures at different points in their life. Dudes' priorities are
 all wack until they really start to think about themselves.


A MAN to me, coming from a dude with no Father

-Always being there for fam, friends and seeds.(Don't know how many good for nothing Dads I see )
-Being confident in one's self.
-Being responsible for his actions,while not blaming others for his incoveniences.
-Being able to forgive people who have done him harm in any way,but not forgetting.
-Able to pick himself up after a fall, no matter how long it takes.
-Not letting his ego get the best of him,pride's good,but too much can be a bad thing.
-Being faithful to his spouse.
-Dissolves altercations with words not fists.
-Being a role model to the young one's. 

Good response. Coming from another dude who grew up fatherless.

 

[je ne sais quoi]

We're working our brains over it too much.

A man...is the controller of "His Universe".

"His Universe" - whatever that may be

If "His Universe" entails being a father and excellent provider? So be it.

If "His Universe" entails being a take no prisoner criminal? So be it.

If "His Universe" entails dressing up like a lady and loving his life partner? So be it.

As long as he accepts and controls "His Universe", destiny, and path with no regret, he is a MAN!!!

 

[nerdable]

nope. for some people its 16 for others its 30 and some never get there.

Truth.

 

[iblink]

I can respect that concept. ^

 

[nazdrowie]

not putting pics up on Instagram

 

[sparklecity sc]

Providing and caring for your family

this

 

[wisepharoah]

The concept of "man" is a social construct and just reflection of the social paradigm of the modern family unit. Think about it if the paradigm was one in which it was irresponsible for a man to be involved in his sons life due to the belief that it weakens his son and takes away his ability to decipher his life through his own experience we would all be screaming, "that man is a punk he was there for his son his whole life and supported him whenever he had a bump, his son just does everything his daddy told him too" we would be singing a different tune. Since we've been told that a "real man" provides and supports his son we respect that ideology. The reality is that what a man is changes depending upon the culture,time and social landscape. Being a provider is only the obligation of someone who has the character of someone who wants to provide. If you bust a nut in a chick that you had random sex with and she has the child and you were working at chili's but once that baby game you got a higher paying job so you could pay for that child that doesn't make you a man. Just providing is not good enough. There are plenty of parents that provide their children with food,shelter and clothes but give nothing emotionally, psychologically or socially(American sociey is the epitome of this) and the kids are just as unstable as a foster child. On the other side of the coin you have kids that grow up materially impoverished but have all the social, psychological, and emotional support one could ask for and be an amazing contributor to society. Nothing in life is as black and white as we so comfortable try to believe it is. Determining what a "man" is has nothing to do with any of the examples brought up in here and all of them. O.P. a man has a penis, that's really the only thing that inarguably determines that. Every other OPINION is based off of social bias.