What would you decide to do? (serious topic)

[avthegod]

Stopped reading at foregoing an amazing career opportunity. Don't wanna come off harsh but you not thinking with your head on straight. Career > women. Solid career, good life women will flock. End of story.

He in love brodie. 

R.I.P Bank though. 

anyways this is for the O.P. 

if they got you under the watchful eye like that switching U.N wont be much help. 

I.P's give away everything. 

putting that aside, why cant your girl just wait till after the investigation is done and you got your career and life back under control?

i dont really see why they wouldnt hire you due to your GF's or Ex's pops got a record? 

dont let this **** control your life, or affect you. 

cool if you get the job, if not you got like 100 other fields that will be around the same pay if not better. (dont even need to know what your career choice is to know this)

if the female is going to stick around she will regardless of anything, if she doesnt.... look at the odds

youre both one of over 7 billion people on earth, yes it sucks you problaby feel very close to this chick.. but does she really know? like reaalllly know you

and vise versa... do you really know her? like realllllyy know her? 

co-dependancy is a blessing but as well as a curse. 

youre 29.. thats prime hood rat slaying age. 

youll find another potential marriage prospect if you really looked hard enough. 

if you lose the girl and get a job, buy a nice car and splurge on yourself. 

if you lose the job and get the girl find another job that you can turn into a career.

if you get the job and the girl i guess you hit the lotto.

at the end of the day none of this **** really matters because it only matters if you dont fix it. 

youll fix it right? 

 

[Bosa]

Ehhh just get your top secret clearance and marry chick.

 

[frankmatthews]

I wanna know what the dad did, i mean god dam. Give us a hint OP.

Plot twist. Girl and her dad were secretly plotting to corrupt ops family members at weddings and christenings but op has foiled their plans by bringing these potential gatherings up to the employer.

But seriously, i wouldnt even want that job, they know more about you than you do and you're not even hired yet. No thanks. If simply being at a wedding with the dad is enough to get your dad or brother fired, idk how they could even consider hiring you in the first place. Doesnt really add up.

Seems like litterally the only way to make this work is to have seperate functions. The parents on both sides gonna have to make some sacrafices in terms of who can attend what functions or otherwise dont have all the functions at all. Its the only way.

 

[dipsetgeneral]

Unless you are certain that this woman is going to be your wife and you know in your heart that that you are going to spend the rest of your life with her, you need to choose your career first.

Your going to have to live with either decision and I think that unless she is the one, money/career and what it provides to your self preservation comes first.

Good luck bro.

All that needs to be said...

 

[hughtavious]

. All good g. The fact that you went to the lengths of consulting a lawyer shows that you're thoughtful and considerate while this broad seems to be very selfish and insecure. Again, the wedding is only one flipping day out of the rest of your life, and the special get togethers can be arranged where you spend separate days with each of your families. It's an easy compromise. Other couples make some very serious sacrifices to make things work. Anyways, why should your family be the ones left out of your wedding day when this girl's father is the frigging ex con? She should be very willing to exclude her pops from situations that will cause conflict because he is the reason there is a conflict in the first place. He commited the damn crime but you gotta ask your pops to stay home on the day of your son's baptism? You understand what I'm saying homie? These are all red flags about the girl's character and i doubt you want someone like that instilling her values in your seeds. She appears to be a chick that would turn your life into hell as soon as she doesnt get what she wants and is unhappy. You seem to be a good dude with great earning potential so I'm sure you're gonna be straight. Stay up.

again thanks for this. to be honest theres a sad part about this. and i think it took me some time to get my head straight to see. i'm not ok now i'm still heartbroken and it was amplified by the stress of a decision. but i'm a little better and i'm coming to terms with the fact that this might be a blessing in disguise.

i always had red flags with her and we'd fight and it'd be dreaded and something good would happen with us and i'd turn a blind eye. looking back i think i turned a blind eye on a bunch of stuff that i shouldn't have.

i'd like to think in a sick way that these people who are holding me up are doing me a favor. it's almost like they gave me enough time to see the light. i mean i've been going through this process for almost 3 years now and it was always interesting to other people even in the industry, saying that they could have denied me a very long time ago. so maybe in a way they realized i shouldn't be with this girl, especially saying they know me so well...and they awarded me the time to see that.

as for the girl we haven't spoken until today. i didn't know what she had told her family about where we stand so i texted her asking if she would mind if i texted her mom and grandma for mother's day. she said sure. i said thanks. and before i could text them she told me...but i dunno what kind of response you'll get. and then hit me with the heat. saying i wasted the last 4 years of her life, that i dropped her like a POS, all this stuff. i was baffled. i was like this is not how it went down i thought it was amicable. she wasn't having it. she ended it by saying "do me a favor and don't text them. don't even text me." so i was like alrighty then.

plot twist. i know i shouldn't have done this but i checked her IG and she deleted the last few pictures of me and already followed like 3 new dudes. that **** sent me spinning. maybe she did it to get a rise out of me, maybe it's more than that. but either way isn't acceptable. as i reflected today and even now writing this, it hurts to admit, and i'm hurting, but i think this may have been for the best.

 

[hughtavious]

He in love brodie. 
R.I.P Bank though. 

anyways this is for the O.P. 
if they got you under the watchful eye like that switching U.N wont be much help. 
I.P's give away everything. 

putting that aside, why cant your girl just wait till after the investigation is done and you got your career and life back under control?
i dont really see why they wouldnt hire you due to your GF's or Ex's pops got a record? 

dont let this **** control your life, or affect you. 
cool if you get the job, if not you got like 100 other fields that will be around the same pay if not better. (dont even need to know what your career choice is to know this)

if the female is going to stick around she will regardless of anything, if she doesnt.... look at the odds
youre both one of over 7 billion people on earth, yes it sucks you problaby feel very close to this chick.. but does she really know? like reaalllly know you
and vise versa... do you really know her? like realllllyy know her? 

co-dependancy is a blessing but as well as a curse. 

youre 29.. thats prime hood rat slaying age. 
youll find another potential marriage prospect if you really looked hard enough. 

if you lose the girl and get a job, buy a nice car and splurge on yourself. 
if you lose the job and get the girl find another job that you can turn into a career.
if you get the job and the girl i guess you hit the lotto.

at the end of the day none of this **** really matters because it only matters if you dont fix it. 
youll fix it right? 

yea i know all that about the username and IP. i'm really not trying to hide anything. don't really care if they read it or not. i just didn't want my regular name out there, in case it gave anything personal away. i wasn't trying to take crazy precautions is what i'm saying.

in terms of career and waiting and all that i feel like we've both reached out wits end with it. i'll never discredit her that she stuck in as long as she could i guess. but when you have **** in writing basically telling you it's your family or the girl **** gets real. there's no more waiting. it becomes decision making.

i don't wanna get into specifics with the job or said dad or anything like that. but basically their entire job is to keep certain people away. it was bad from the get go i guess. not saying it's right or fair or anything close to that. but i always held out hope and it didn't work out that way in terms of how they'd view things.

i'm not worried about finding someone else. no humble brag and this could sort of address those humor posts basically asking is girls pics worth the job lol...the last few girls i've been involved with have been models of some sort. one even being in the miss usa pageant (not said girl based on this thread) she didn't win so **** her lol jp. but what i'm getting at is yea i could find another girl no problem...but i didn't want to. i love her and we both clicked on a high level. so yes we were veryyyy close. was she there 100% in times where i needed her i dunno for sure.

but to end off on your post, i'm gonna fix something.

 

[Hank Scorpio]

This just sounds like a mature and serious break up. Things like this happen all the time. Fact of the matter is, marriage is not only for the other person but it encompasses their own family, lifestyles, habits, religion, etc. I saw move on and chalk this up as a life lesson. Yes it is sad but sometimes certain people are just not meant to be together. There will always be someone else.

Hate to say it, but you're right.

This sounds like whatever you do is going to have you in a compromising situation. Something's gotta give if you wan to make it work whether its your career or personal relationship with this woman.

OP, need to sit down and figure out whats more important. IMO if you feel strongly about this woman and can't live life without her, then maybe you should look into a different career opportunity. There will be plenty of jobs to do, but there is only one of this woman you're talking about.

Sorry you're in this situation, man. I wish there was a way for you to get both the girl and your job.

 

[capital sb]

Ehhh just get your top secret clearance and marry chick.

Exactly get the TS/SCI w/ poly and call it a day