Love and Redemption
How the $$*! the heart want what the mind don't need?
We all have nightmares, mine don't cease...
"Please don't go baby, Ryan don't leave.."
Maybe I be trippin.. slippin..
Waking up... cold sweat dripping.. trying....
...............Crying, sleeping...
Peeping the depression creeping on me like a lion
I lie in bed thinking... inside dying
Bedside prayers make my insides iron
I ain't Tony Stark tho... I ain't got money
At least I got a heart tho.. that's NOT funny
Cuz life is not a comic.....You can be the star,
I'd rather be a comet..
meet me where the sun can't go
But I'ma need space.. soooooo...
Catch me on the flip side, and if we "dip slide ride out"
...... Don't let the love Leak this time out..
...And so I dream.......
.......I love it when I dream as I dream, yup, but there's a thing
As soon as I arise, I feel comotion deep inside
Call it "pride".... it's mad at the feelings that I hide
When awake, there are rules to which I must abide
Man laws aside I was happy...
Every time napping.. but every waking moment
I'm jealous and I'm cracking.. my "sweet dreams" left
And I don't want em back, see.....
Now I hate what I love... as if I feel love will attack me
My lil mama loves me, I can't love her back...
Cuz love don't back me.. she don't deserve that
I never been an athlete, I just love tracks..
I only feel the love when I'm lonely if I rap
Music is my solice, I'm a solitary act..
So whatever's in my cards, I can deal with it Jack
I'm that of all trades, but I'd pass it to the right
Cuz weed numbs the pain that the talent can't write
And every single night I prepare to lose a fight
My past whoops *@@ like my future ain't bright
My future don't lean, my future don't duck
My future just is...and it don't give a $$*!
My past keeps changing.. it beat ya boy up
..It eats ya boy up... Did I ever love her?
What about TRUST?
Did she ever love me, were we even US?
Maybe I was wrong.. maybe it was lust..
Maybe every song that I sing about sucks..
If I can't make her listen,
If Red don't get it..should I give it up?
Or should I deal with it?
I wanna make her tough, so when she let me hit it
I used to beat it up... now I'm never in it..
It ain't like it was good... but I was happy to get it
It was the connection.. we should have been adding
Why we do division?
Now I'm on a mission
I'm better than before, but I'm a lot different
I've seen what it is and if love is a scrimmage
And this is just a game, I'm the best player in it..
Some won't get it..
Kelly gotta feel me..
I never been perfect but it's real if I spit it-- I'm giving you the REAL me
All of my dimensions
Every last angle, thirst, not image
So when I lay it down and my bed is my prison
I dream about bars that derive from the visions
Then I live in it..
I wake up, and still feel in it, I can't believe how fast we move
The illustrations of my world ain't finished
The picture ain't painted, get it?
Though I hate it, I love it when she visits
I make her say the words that she didn't
I take away the pain that was given
Re-image the meanings.. change all the words and the digits
Life is what you make it, I like it in my prison..
I'd rather die in it.. but I made parole..
And even though I get it, the irony is old
So I write "Brooks was here" and choose to die alone..