Alimony and Child Support... NT laymen's terms please.

[htg designs]

Marriage gets a bad rap cus ppl
a.don't choose wisely. They follow their emotions and don't understand fully who they are involved with. Or they do and rely on themselves or time can change ppl.
b.don't know what a successful/ real marriage is and follow bad models.
c.are too selfish. If I love my wife more than myself, and my wife loves and submits to me, everyone is taken care of.

 

[AZwildcats]

Lifestyle my ***

exactly. Thats like me getting fired from my job and expecting them to pay me a certain amount a month so that my lifestyle stays the same. No **** your lifestyle is going to change, you were married, now your not

 

[nazdrowie]

c.are too selfish. If I love my wife more than myself, and my wife loves and submits to me, everyone is taken care of.

 O RLY? 

jk jk but i get what you're saying...even though ill probably never marry, i respect individuals that work on it, and even though the divorce rate is something like 50%, that still means just as many couples make it, i think. 

 

[shoelyesses]

Being married gets you
- More Respect than single men: the world take you more seriously because your have responsibility and some level of accountability and maturity enough to make a lifelong commitment.
- Have more Sex
- more established Leadership qualities
- more income
- Wives do stuff you don't want to do: more of the cooking, cleaning, buying stuff that you would never buy but the house needs (hand soap, washcloths n towels, broccoli, etc)

But that is some sort of public perception, a stereotype if you will. If you really look at it for what it is and examined it outside of that...ie like a business move or transaction, it would be ill advised/irresponsible and a bad move. It be like leasing with an option to buy with a huge down payment. You put alot down...as years go, the value decreases, and at the end it becomes more of a liability, and pretty much a depreciation.

That is depending on the state of the individual....and even if it was to be more, since when is more of the same better then variety. I rather eat 2 different meals everyday of the week, then lets say my favorite morning noon night, everyday of the week. So really dont see how this is an advantage.

That again depends on the individuals involved, this isnt a universal truth. In concept to is more then one. But it isnt as simple as that in this case.

Um a recent study i saw showed average family eats roughly 5-7 meals a week in the home...ie cook etc... so i think a single man can go out and pick up food, or do a drive thru just as easy as he could married, or have a wife do it. And dudes aint savages they would buy all those aforementioned, thing is they in most part wouldnt care about the aesthetics or looks of it all...aka spend tons of money to make it look nice or appeasing...so how is that really a plus unless you on some whole i live to impress everyone/be showy and flashy about my home.

Also the whole earning more like someone else mentioned... actually while true you spend far more money. average family waste around 150-200 dollars a month on food, basically over spending, not wanting to cook, going out and eventually the food is wasted, plus the money you spend on going out. Plus other little nuances, that so called 20% more is gone and then some.

 

[illicit305]

wifey argued with me for about a month , but i got that paternity test and verified when my beautiful baby girl was born. i have a mini me b.

 

[htg designs]

wifey argued with me for about a month , but i got that paternity test and verified when my beautiful baby girl was born. i have a mini me b.

congrads

 

[Rootin4EverybodyBlack]

All I know is the happiest person I know ain't never been married. Dude is mid 40's, has all 30 y.o yambs and doesn't have a care in the world.

In his own words "Everyday I wake up, I know I don't HAVE to see the same ***** next to me, and that makes me smile"

 

[GTA 809]

Severance

 

[peteweezy]

And don't get married, its a law binding contract that overwhelming favors women

Like seriously what does man really get out of marriage?

Being married gets you
- More Respect than single men: the world take you more seriously because your have responsibility and some level of accountability and maturity enough to make a lifelong commitment.
- Have more Sex
- more established Leadership qualities
- more income
- Wives do stuff you don't want to do: more of the cooking, cleaning, buying stuff that you would never buy but the house needs (hand soap, washcloths n towels, broccoli, etc)

1)Where they do that at? I never saw that happen ever where you get less respect for not being married as long as you can do whatever it is that needs to be done.

2)Most disagree with this too and I'm talking about married people.

3 & 4) Don't agree with either esp 4 like somebody said down thread that extra money goes towards others things so its more necessary than extra perse.

5)I do this stuff/ wouldn't have a problem doing this stuff in a relationship either anyway so at least for me not true. I will give you some guys I know don't like to do this.

 

[ricky409]

im just telling you guys how it works. marriage is a commitment for better or worse till death do you part. if you're gonna treat her like a queen then be prepared to after things go bad.

you guys keep focusing on the kids and what not, but child support is based on the same principal.


if you had your kids in private school in a rich neighborhood, then you cant be like oh me and mommy dont love each other no more. all you need is an education and a roof over your head so public school and a two bedroom apartment in the hood it is.

YOU showed your kids a lifestyle of excess and money so now YOU gotta keep them in that lifestyle because they didnt do anything wrong. so whats the difference if i say the house note gets paid from the child support or if i say the house note gets paid from alimony, either way the kids live in the house they grew up in.

it's no different from the wife. if she was some podunk nobody happy with a double wide till you put her in a penthouse, you can't be mad she wants to stay with that ****. ****** in here like they would be happy to go back to ramen after tasting filet mignon.

if you make your girl work while you're married the judge will be like yo you got a good job and can easily take care of yourself. you don't need alimony. the **** aint automatic. it just happens to these cats who want to be alpha males on some "my girl don't have to work" steez.


moral of the story is don't marry someone unless you're sure and if you do dont try and ball out unless you are willing to let her continue to ball if things fall apart. simple really.

@ comparing a grown *** woman capable of supporting herself and working...

To a kid that can't eem go to the mall by himself.

Ain't no well in hell, as a logical individual, someone could justify personal trainer and cosmetics in sugar Shane's wife's package.

 

[freakydestroyer]

im just telling you guys how it works. marriage is a commitment for better or worse till death do you part. if you're gonna treat her like a queen then be prepared to after things go bad.

you guys keep focusing on the kids and what not, but child support is based on the same principal.


if you had your kids in private school in a rich neighborhood, then you cant be like oh me and mommy dont love each other no more. all you need is an education and a roof over your head so public school and a two bedroom apartment in the hood it is.

YOU showed your kids a lifestyle of excess and money so now YOU gotta keep them in that lifestyle because they didnt do anything wrong. so whats the difference if i say the house note gets paid from the child support or if i say the house note gets paid from alimony, either way the kids live in the house they grew up in.

it's no different from the wife. if she was some podunk nobody happy with a double wide till you put her in a penthouse, you can't be mad she wants to stay with that ****. ****** in here like they would be happy to go back to ramen after tasting filet mignon.

if you make your girl work while you're married the judge will be like yo you got a good job and can easily take care of yourself. you don't need alimony. the **** aint automatic. it just happens to these cats who want to be alpha males on some "my girl don't have to work" steez.


moral of the story is don't marry someone unless you're sure and if you do dont try and ball out unless you are willing to let her continue to ball if things fall apart. simple really.

@ comparing a grown *** woman capable of supporting herself and working...

To a kid that can't eem go to the mall by himself.

Ain't no well in hell, as a logical individual, someone could justify personal trainer and cosmetics in sugar Shane's wife's package.

Only if she takes some of his punches.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

In fact, that figure itself is evidence that alimony is something that isn't antiquated. If women didn't suffer the brunt of child rearing, then they'd more often be the bread winners and you'd see more men receive alimony, or the settlements would dwindle or be negligible in kind.

Thats a huge common misnomer. While there is a large difference in terms of college students etc... in terms of ratio women to men....at the end of the day there is a HUGE difference in terms of ratio of men favoring women in terms of actually FINISHING school. So this whole stunting their growth "potential earning" is false cause lets face it...especially in todays time you having some sort of degree/skilled trade, certification, your most likely to earn or achieve more. So are you saying its much harder to have a great career with a few years of college versus, a few years of college but be a mother? Also the suffering issue...its not as if women are doing something that goes against their nature, or achieving/accomplishing the unthinkable... Despite all this newfound sex/gender role mumbo jumbo. Women were created to bare children. One could argue that they dont initially finish school due to having kids etc... but again with all these programs going on including a bill that actually pays mothers to finish/continue education. Really the whole having kids aspect is at best a mere crutch.

If raising the kid is such a piece of cake, then feel free to tell your woman that she can work and you'll raise the kid. ..

I am actually a father of two, and between when I first got off active duty military. And before I became self-employed.. Outside of maybe when i was a kid. As far as work etc... this was easily the easiest carefree time in my life. Between going on a tour, the various jobs I have held, hell even being a teenager, working going to school, being in the band and playing basketball. Trying to start a business and finishing college, the time i spent right after finishing doing a tour, where i was pretty much a part time online student and a stay at home dad, it was the easiest i have ever had it in my teen to adult life. So im not speaking on what i think, im speaking on first hand experience.

If i had to choose between dodging ieds, doing comtec work, and dealing with kosovo, or back laying mortar and bricks versus, changing diapers, cooking/cleaning and making dr. appts. Id, with no hesitation take staying at home. I mean even in its concept why do you think women choose or desire to be stay at home mothers... Because its easy. Its not even in human nature, to willingly take the hard road. If it was that daunting of a task, we wouldnt have so many women trying to do it. You dont see a huge surge in women wanting to be construction workers, lawn technicians etc...why because its hard work. Hell even if you look at the job market, and the jobs in which most women fill. most of them are desk jobs, relatively easy work that require little to no effort outside of mentally.

Second, it's not - 6 months and get a job. Hopefully, people have careers and not jobs. So, let's say I stay home and take care of a kid and my wife works. 6 years later we split up. Now, I have to go back to work. ...Well, I've lost 6 years in the work force. I've lost 6 years of accruing a retirement fund. I've lost years of income. I've lost years where I could be advancing myself - even if went back to my same job for the same pay, had I not been out for 6 years, I'd likely have been promoted several times and had several raises. You sacrifice OPPORTUNITY in this scenario, and that is why you get compensated. If I leave my job tomorrow and come back 6 years later, the cost of me missing that time is A LOT more than 6 x my current salary. It all compounds.

But just because you have kids and married doesnt mean you dont have the ability to go out and work. Ppl for some reason forget that, last i checked kids do infact have to go to school. So that 8-10hrs they are away you could work etc... The choice not to, whether it be mutual between the couples, one party or not, the ability to do so is still there. Also the whole notion of loosing 6 years in the workforce, would be a decision that women chose to make. Its a difference between not doing something, and not having the ability to do something.

Its almost like your saying a women chooses not to work, because her man makes a ton of money, they split, then she says oh well i coulda been making all that money you making, but since you had it, i simply just didnt feel the need to go out and get my own, plus im use to having you give me this money, so i should still get it. Its basically saying pay me based on what i couldve done possibly, if i actually tried and wanted to. Imagine if the world was based on paying ppl off of, what they possibly could do, but never proved it, or based on what they could do but chose not to do?

I mean there are exceptions such as if you had a special needs child etc... which prevented you and it was best that you focused stayed with them...things of that nature. But to say oh i have the ability to do something, I can do something, but i opt out of doing something, solely on the premise of well you doing for me so....is whats wrong with alimony.

But to say oh i did 2 years of college, and was working a rink a dink job like walmart, and because i had a kid, that prevented me from finishing school,earning a degree, and being the a head director of sales for a large firm is ridiculous.  As if to say schools turn down married women with kids, or online courses arent available for them, or that jobs discriminate based on being a married women with kids. If single mothers can pull this off with twice the workload and half the help (in terms of another parent/body in the home) surely a women without any financial burdens, a extra body to help with the household, and plenty of time to kill can.

Exactly what I'm saying

My aunt just had a baby. Did she make sacrifice? Yes she had to stop working a number of months into the pregnancy. Baby was born and a few weeks later she's back at work

If she neve went back to work then her fiancé would be the one who has it harder. Being home taking care of a baby is cake compared to workin all day. You can leave the baby at your parents house while you have free time to yourself. You can have friends over etc

It's just total bs that after a divorce they get money out the *** when they don't deserve THAT much money. Not biased towards women either. If a dude was in that situation I feel the same way

 

[ricky409]

In fact, that figure itself is evidence that alimony is something that isn't antiquated. If women didn't suffer the brunt of child rearing, then they'd more often be the bread winners and you'd see more men receive alimony, or the settlements would dwindle or be negligible in kind.

Thats a huge common misnomer. While there is a large difference in terms of college students etc... in terms of ratio women to men....at the end of the day there is a HUGE difference in terms of ratio of men favoring women in terms of actually FINISHING school. So this whole stunting their growth "potential earning" is false cause lets face it...especially in todays time you having some sort of degree/skilled trade, certification, your most likely to earn or achieve more. So are you saying its much harder to have a great career with a few years of college versus, a few years of college but be a mother? Also the suffering issue...its not as if women are doing something that goes against their nature, or achieving/accomplishing the unthinkable... Despite all this newfound sex/gender role mumbo jumbo. Women were created to bare children. One could argue that they dont initially finish school due to having kids etc... but again with all these programs going on including a bill that actually pays mothers to finish/continue education. Really the whole having kids aspect is at best a mere crutch.

If raising the kid is such a piece of cake, then feel free to tell your woman that she can work and you'll raise the kid. ..

I am actually a father of two, and between when I first got off active duty military. And before I became self-employed.. Outside of maybe when i was a kid. As far as work etc... this was easily the easiest carefree time in my life. Between going on a tour, the various jobs I have held, hell even being a teenager, working going to school, being in the band and playing basketball. Trying to start a business and finishing college, the time i spent right after finishing doing a tour, where i was pretty much a part time online student and a stay at home dad, it was the easiest i have ever had it in my teen to adult life. So im not speaking on what i think, im speaking on first hand experience.

If i had to choose between dodging ieds, doing comtec work, and dealing with kosovo, or back laying mortar and bricks versus, changing diapers, cooking/cleaning and making dr. appts. Id, with no hesitation take staying at home. I mean even in its concept why do you think women choose or desire to be stay at home mothers... Because its easy. Its not even in human nature, to willingly take the hard road. If it was that daunting of a task, we wouldnt have so many women trying to do it. You dont see a huge surge in women wanting to be construction workers, lawn technicians etc...why because its hard work. Hell even if you look at the job market, and the jobs in which most women fill. most of them are desk jobs, relatively easy work that require little to no effort outside of mentally.

Second, it's not - 6 months and get a job. Hopefully, people have careers and not jobs. So, let's say I stay home and take care of a kid and my wife works. 6 years later we split up. Now, I have to go back to work. ...Well, I've lost 6 years in the work force. I've lost 6 years of accruing a retirement fund. I've lost years of income. I've lost years where I could be advancing myself - even if went back to my same job for the same pay, had I not been out for 6 years, I'd likely have been promoted several times and had several raises. You sacrifice OPPORTUNITY in this scenario, and that is why you get compensated. If I leave my job tomorrow and come back 6 years later, the cost of me missing that time is A LOT more than 6 x my current salary. It all compounds.

But just because you have kids and married doesnt mean you dont have the ability to go out and work. Ppl for some reason forget that, last i checked kids do infact have to go to school. So that 8-10hrs they are away you could work etc... The choice not to, whether it be mutual between the couples, one party or not, the ability to do so is still there. Also the whole notion of loosing 6 years in the workforce, would be a decision that women chose to make. Its a difference between not doing something, and not having the ability to do something.

Its almost like your saying a women chooses not to work, because her man makes a ton of money, they split, then she says oh well i coulda been making all that money you making, but since you had it, i simply just didnt feel the need to go out and get my own, plus im use to having you give me this money, so i should still get it. Its basically saying pay me based on what i couldve done possibly, if i actually tried and wanted to. Imagine if the world was based on paying ppl off of, what they possibly could do, but never proved it, or based on what they could do but chose not to do?

I mean there are exceptions such as if you had a special needs child etc... which prevented you and it was best that you focused stayed with them...things of that nature. But to say oh i have the ability to do something, I can do something, but i opt out of doing something, solely on the premise of well you doing for me so....is whats wrong with alimony.

But to say oh i did 2 years of college, and was working a rink a dink job like walmart, and because i had a kid, that prevented me from finishing school,earning a degree, and being the a head director of sales for a large firm is ridiculous.  As if to say schools turn down married women with kids, or online courses arent available for them, or that jobs discriminate based on being a married women with kids. If single mothers can pull this off with twice the workload and half the help (in terms of another parent/body in the home) surely a women without any financial burdens, a extra body to help with the household, and plenty of time to kill can.

son... this is one of the best responses on NT...

all i can do is quote and rep.. wish i could do more to show how much i appreciate this post.

 

[thenewjs23]

The laws are way more convoluted than many people realize. You can actually be forced to pay child support for a child that isn't biologically yours. There's a story about a man in Canada that was married with 4 kids and after 16 years his wife divorced him. After he started paying support he decided to get paternity tests done on them. He found out only his youngest child was actually his. The court ordered him to continue paying for all of them. Before someone says that only happens in Canada, there are plenty of cases on file in the US.

I was married once, my wife got pregnant by another guy while i was deployed. I came home we tried to get a divorce bu the court would wanted to bill someone for child support. My ex told the courts the child was not mine (we had never had vaginal sex, long story). They still would not divorce us. I got a paternity test that stated I wasnt the father and they still would not divorce us. The father was in jail and they eventually made him submit to a test. It was funny cause the whole time my ex was telling them who the father was.

 

[thenewjs23]

Being married gets you
- More Respect than single men: the world take you more seriously because your have responsibility and some level of accountability and maturity enough to make a lifelong commitment.
- Have more Sex
- more established Leadership qualities
- more income
- Wives do stuff you don't want to do: more of the cooking, cleaning, buying stuff that you would never buy but the house needs (hand soap, washcloths n towels, broccoli, etc)

I work with a guy that lives with his girl. she stays at home with the kid while he works. Im single and I eat better than he does. She's at home all day and he has to buy take out everyday.

These chicks are slacking cause some of you cats are letting them slack.

 

[thenewjs23]

Marriage gets a bad rap cus ppl
a.don't choose wisely. They follow their emotions and don't understand fully who they are involved with. Or they do and rely on themselves or time can change ppl.
b.don't know what a successful/ real marriage is and follow bad models.
c.are too selfish. If I love my wife more than myself, and my wife loves and submits to me, everyone is taken care of.

This

 

[atlien seeko]

Good. I need to check this out later.

 

[mister doitnice]

I was married once, my wife got pregnant by another guy while i was deployed. I came home we tried to get a divorce bu the court would wanted to bill someone for child support. My ex told the courts the child was not mine (we had never had vaginal sex, long story). They still would not divorce us. I got a paternity test that stated I wasnt the father and they still would not divorce us. The father was in jail and they eventually made him submit to a test. It was funny cause the whole time my ex was telling them who the father was.

Sorry you had to go through that man. I'm active duty myself so I feel for you. These laws are ridiculous and as a man you have almost no legal standing if you're going against a deceitful woman. Fortunately she owned up to everything. I can't see myself getting married while I'm still in the air force. My peace of mind is too valuable.

 

[mister doitnice]

I work with a guy that lives with his girl. she stays at home with the kid while he works. Im single and I eat better than he does. She's at home all day and he has to buy take out everyday.

These chicks are slacking cause some of you cats are letting them slack.

Some men prefer to have their women at home with the kids. I don't knock them for that. Where he's going wrong is buying takeout every day. Don't see why she can't hold him down with preparing lunch a few times a week. Unless he impregnated a woman who can't cook. If so, he definitely lost. I work with a bunch of married guys and only one has a stay at home wife. He's actually the happiest out of all of them. Just my observation.

 

[ricky409]

I was married once, my wife got pregnant by another guy while i was deployed. I came home we tried to get a divorce bu the court would wanted to bill someone for child support. My ex told the courts the child was not mine (we had never had vaginal sex, long story). They still would not divorce us. I got a paternity test that stated I wasnt the father and they still would not divorce us. The father was in jail and they eventually made him submit to a test. It was funny cause the whole time my ex was telling them who the father was.

ewwww....

Like, why would they not divorce y'all?

What eoyod they say??