Annoying Coworkers (vol. Dwight Tazer)

h connect

Banned
68
10
Joined Sep 6, 2011
Annoying coworkers are an inevitable part of most office cultures.  I’ve only been in the office for three hours and I’m about to lose it, mind you it's Friday
  Made the mistake of letting this dweeb in for small talk about the NFL kickoff and now this dude is trying to Jerry Maguire my fantasy team
  I've known homefry for 2 weeks and he's trying to broker combo deals for me based on a 5 min convo.  This other chick walks by my office at least 3 times a week balling on the phone with her on/off BF


I get along with everyone else in exec management and most the VPs but some of these other cats are taking years off my life span...share your experiences
 

iammd

Banned
1,273
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Joined Mar 9, 2010
Where the f do i start...First we have the old head a couple cubicles down from me that comes over and tells me about his glory days every morning when i'm trying to gchat/work. I made a mistake of accepting him on facebook, and now he comments on all of my statuses...Then we have the ******ed woman that sit nexts to me that won't ever shut the hell up, and not to mention she is the biggest idiot i know.
 

h connect

Banned
68
10
Joined Sep 6, 2011
Originally Posted by IamMD

Where the f do i start...First we have the old head a couple cubicles down from me that comes over and tells me about his glory days every morning when i'm trying to gchat/work. I made a mistake of accepting him on facebook, and now he comments on all of my statuses...Then we have the ******ed woman that sit nexts to me that won't ever shut the hell up, and not to mention she is the biggest idiot i know.
  But yea the baby boomer crowd here can get a little annoying...for the most part I respect them, but there are certainly trying times where I have to let them know we are not the same at all  
 

kdawg

Staff member
7,144
4,043
Joined Jun 25, 2003
Originally Posted by H Connect


This other chick walks by my office at least 3 times a week balling on the phone with her on/off BF
Balling? Bawling?

Anyway, reminded me of this:


My job is so @#$@$*+ unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but +%#! is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel in the crown has got to be the @#$@$*+ stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big stinking dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day.

Anyway, I drive these @@%+@#*@% around in my van and we solve mysteries and @%#$.
 

17

1,262
382
Joined Sep 12, 2010
^^ i was just about to ask wth do you work but nevermind..
 
2,683
50
Joined Jun 3, 2009
Originally Posted by kdawg

My job is so @#$@$*+ unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but +%#! is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel in the crown has got to be the @#$@$*+ stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big stinking dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day.

Anyway, I drive these @@%+@#*@% around in my van and we solve mysteries and @%#$.
 so didn't see that coming
 
18,544
816
Joined Sep 28, 2005
Originally Posted by Mycoldyourdone

oh lawd. dont get me started. you just made my head hurt thinking about it.
this

one chick loves to metion her court case against her soon to be ex husband that was on the DL

another needs constant attention from anyone male or female

my lead looks like she's never met a toothbrush
she's always has to stand right in my face to tell me something...

one chick is married but likes my co-worker...i told him he should sex her and make her buy him stuff and get me a pair or shoes (she's simple enough to do so) but she really want a relationship w/him so he won't do it


most people are cool here but those blow the *@#! out of me on a daily basis

i just turn my music up extra loud so i can't hear anything

i had typed way more but accidentally hit the back button
 

elpablo21

Supporter
61,602
34,446
Joined Feb 11, 2008
Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by kdawg

My job is so @#$@$*+ unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but +%#! is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel in the crown has got to be the @#$@$*+ stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big stinking dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day.

Anyway, I drive these @@%+@#*@% around in my van and we solve mysteries and @%#$.
 so didn't see that coming
 
848
10
Joined May 15, 2007
Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by Mycoldyourdone

oh lawd. dont get me started. you just made my head hurt thinking about it.
this

one chick loves to metion her court case against her soon to be ex husband that was on the DL

another needs constant attention from anyone male or female

my lead looks like she's never met a toothbrush
she's always has to stand right in my face to tell me something...

one chick is married but likes my co-worker...i told him he should sex her and make her buy him stuff and get me a pair or shoes (she's simple enough to do so) but she really want a relationship w/him so he won't do it


most people are cool here but those blow the *@#! out of me on a daily basis

i just turn my music up extra loud so i can't hear anything

i had typed way more but accidentally hit the back button
i feel your pain...
 

Sir San Diego

formerly brolic scholar
13,006
11,079
Joined Feb 20, 2011
My number one rule at work is shut up and work. Talking is all good during breaks or when it's required of you, but I don't need to know your whole life every time you get bored.

Here are a few of my office characters.

Dude 1: In his 40s, has a severe stuttering problem and updates me on his house hunting daily. Is obviously some sort of sexual deviant and he's always trying to get people to go to Tijuana with him (most likely for the pros). Anytime we have a meeting he asks at least three questions about the same crap that was just covered. On top of all that, he's a safety violation/death waiting to happen.

Dude 2: Don't see him much because he works at a different facility, but when he is there, he can't let a moment go by without adding to someone else's story, trying to finish someone's sentence or one upping after someone else talks. Oh yeah, and his dad has done everything you can think of (he's young). His most annoying trait, he makes up random facts and passes them off as truth unless you call him on it. His recovery line: "I was just throwing that out there." No,
you were just lying.

Chick 1: Complains about everything. "This is too hard." "I can't..." etc. Is a washed up big breasted loud mouth who thinks she can still get by on her looks. Wants my pipe and tries to let me know in her own subtle, yet painfully obvious way. "You dress so well." "I may need your help." "Wow, your feet are big."
Comes to work hungover damn near daily. Parties during the week, yet makes excuses for not handling her biz during work hours. Stands waaaay too close when talking to me.
 
1,804
130
Joined Feb 20, 2004
Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Chick 1: Complains about everything. "This is too hard." "I can't..." etc. Is a washed up big breasted loud mouth who thinks she can still get by on her looks. Wants my pipe and tries to let me know in her own subtle, yet painfully obvious way. "You dress so well." "I may need your help." "Wow, your feet are big."
Comes to work hungover damn near daily. Parties during the week, yet makes excuses for not handling her biz during work hours. Stands waaaay too close when talking to me.
pics, kind sir.
 

Sir San Diego

formerly brolic scholar
13,006
11,079
Joined Feb 20, 2011
Even if I had them, I wouldn't risk my career by throwing them out to the NT goons. A few hours of lulz isn't worth it to me.
 
12,335
3,832
Joined Jan 3, 2011
Oh man my line of work which is the IT industry I've seen and dealt with so many of these scenarios.
With that said I usually pop in this movie for comic relief:





No way do I let these things stress me out on my free time away from my work.
 
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