Asian Culture Discussion Thread

[equality]

Posted the same thing a while back. It's definitely a noticeable thing now.

I think it's mostly good but I can how it can be problematic too. I think cause we have parallel things going on in terms of a growing amount of representation (mostly foreign) while also still being seen as lightweight exotic, it leads to some weird behavior where they attribute all of their love of Asia to us. My professor who is Korean-American told me that he had a white student who would bow to him. She was trying to do it as a respectful thing cause she "was into Korean culture" (prob kpop/kdramas) lol.

Funny you mention that, I was discussing this same topic with a fellow Vietnamese homie
He told me he went on a few dates with non-Asian girls who were really into K-pop and weeaboo culture
He felt like it was reverse yellow fever, but he didn't seem to mind

Bored so I wrote about it. mostly just rambling.

Spoiler: Spoiler

If you're 26, single and have a functioning penis or vagina you're likely on Tinder or any of the online dating apps (Bumble, OKCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel etc). If you're 26, single, have a functioning penis and just moved to a new country and don't know a single person you're definitely on all the dating apps spending a good chunk of time crafting witty bios, square cropping photos and applying filters.



I never had much success using Tinder in New Zealand or Australia, partly because I was in a committed relationship most of that time. When I moved to the United States, I entered what basketball players would call "The Zone". Every 2 or 3 swipes I would catch a Tinder-match dopamine hit. The American Dream was finally coming to fruition. The Land of Opportunity was a true cultural melting pot, pairing me with women from all different races and backgrounds. Just like the restaurant menus in America, the overload of choice felt overwhelming. To provide some context as to why this is a big deal, most of my matches in Australia were with Asian women. If I did match with a Caucasian girl, I'd always be hit with "you're pretty hot for an Asian". This is like the old cliche joke "you came first in the Special Olympics." Or if you follow the NBA, it's like saying "Kevin Love's a good basketball player for a white guy". Nobody wants their positive traits pre-approved against a certain criteria. You're either hot or you're not and I'm perfectly fine with the latter if it meant I was judged on the same standards as everyone else.



Back to my Tinder self discovery in America. My confidence rose with each ensuing match. Maybe I was no longer just "hot for an Asian guy"? Could it be possible non-Asian women were attracted to me? As I started chatting to, and in some cases meeting up with some of these women, I realized I fell victim to my naivete. A common topic during our conversations somehow always led to K-Pop. Keep in mind there's absolutely nothing in my online presence to suggest I'm in the least bit into K-pop. I love that the genre and culture is gaining worldwide recognition in Western society but it just isn't my thing.



Regardless, the topic kept K-popping up. You ever take a girl home and you both know some smashing will eventually take place and you're just counting down till showtime? K-pop conversations with white women from Tinder were the same. Initially I was fine with it. K-pop discussions led to race in pop culture discussions which I enjoy. Overtime, however, I couldn't help but feel like I was some checkbox on their list of K-pop fetishes, an Asian itch they needed to scratch. The irony of all this is I'm not even Korean and they knew this beforehand. Were they really so ignorant to think we're all the same? It's almost as if they wanted to go on a few dates with Asian men and they're satisfied with a Korean bootleg and accepting 720p and not 1080p.



Every human being has a need to feel liked or wanted for who they are. If I'm only appreciated because I'm the same race as their pop culture heroes, am I really being appreciated? The Asian immigrant experience is one riddled with attempts to fit in. This post isn't really about dating, hooking up or sex. It's about denying self denial, not accepting the "Asian-man + white women" fantasy by fitting into their image of an Asian man.



Us Chinese are infamous for producing counterfeits. It's something I despise as a sneakerhead and objectively speaking, it's ethically wrong. I refuse to purchase fugazi sneakers and clothing, and before I moved to the United States I never thought about counterfeiting from a sense of identity, but I'd rather die alone and lover-less than be a cheap version of what a female's ideal man is.

 

[W)taps]

not sure if other asian languages have this, but I was once putting gas in my car and

a random non asian girl (prob high school or college) came up to me and called me oppa...

(oppa means big brother in the literal sense and is only used by girls. however, girls who are close to guys older than them or in a relationship also uses it)

it just dont sound right when a non korean uses it + i didnt even know the girl.

then she started asking me a bunch of questions like where she can get authentic korean food, etc.

 

[Roderick Kingsley]

I dated a guy with a kpop addiction. Turned him on wheneve I called him Oppa.

We’re both Filipino btw.

 

[mastamind033]

Half Korean and I’ve never had a non Korean call me oppa

 

[shogun]

I’d probably like it. I like when women call me papi.

 

[mrd1]

lol

being called kuya = friendzoned

 

[bigjny88]

lol

being called kuya = friendzoned

QFT

Basically the Filipino equivalent of the "oppa" and "oni-chan" is basically a death sentence for prospective Pinoy males trying to get out of the friendzone.

You will never see that **** be a turn-on at all among Filipinos

 

[Roderick Kingsley]

lol

being called kuya = friendzoned

kuya/bruh/man = friendzone

 

[whatscomplex]

Bored so I wrote about it. mostly just rambling.

Spoiler: Spoiler

If you're 26, single and have a functioning penis or vagina you're likely on Tinder or any of the online dating apps (Bumble, OKCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel etc). If you're 26, single, have a functioning penis and just moved to a new country and don't know a single person you're definitely on all the dating apps spending a good chunk of time crafting witty bios, square cropping photos and applying filters.



I never had much success using Tinder in New Zealand or Australia, partly because I was in a committed relationship most of that time. When I moved to the United States, I entered what basketball players would call "The Zone". Every 2 or 3 swipes I would catch a Tinder-match dopamine hit. The American Dream was finally coming to fruition. The Land of Opportunity was a true cultural melting pot, pairing me with women from all different races and backgrounds. Just like the restaurant menus in America, the overload of choice felt overwhelming. To provide some context as to why this is a big deal, most of my matches in Australia were with Asian women. If I did match with a Caucasian girl, I'd always be hit with "you're pretty hot for an Asian". This is like the old cliche joke "you came first in the Special Olympics." Or if you follow the NBA, it's like saying "Kevin Love's a good basketball player for a white guy". Nobody wants their positive traits pre-approved against a certain criteria. You're either hot or you're not and I'm perfectly fine with the latter if it meant I was judged on the same standards as everyone else.



Back to my Tinder self discovery in America. My confidence rose with each ensuing match. Maybe I was no longer just "hot for an Asian guy"? Could it be possible non-Asian women were attracted to me? As I started chatting to, and in some cases meeting up with some of these women, I realized I fell victim to my naivete. A common topic during our conversations somehow always led to K-Pop. Keep in mind there's absolutely nothing in my online presence to suggest I'm in the least bit into K-pop. I love that the genre and culture is gaining worldwide recognition in Western society but it just isn't my thing.



Regardless, the topic kept K-popping up. You ever take a girl home and you both know some smashing will eventually take place and you're just counting down till showtime? K-pop conversations with white women from Tinder were the same. Initially I was fine with it. K-pop discussions led to race in pop culture discussions which I enjoy. Overtime, however, I couldn't help but feel like I was some checkbox on their list of K-pop fetishes, an Asian itch they needed to scratch. The irony of all this is I'm not even Korean and they knew this beforehand. Were they really so ignorant to think we're all the same? It's almost as if they wanted to go on a few dates with Asian men and they're satisfied with a Korean bootleg and accepting 720p and not 1080p.



Every human being has a need to feel liked or wanted for who they are. If I'm only appreciated because I'm the same race as their pop culture heroes, am I really being appreciated? The Asian immigrant experience is one riddled with attempts to fit in. This post isn't really about dating, hooking up or sex. It's about denying self denial, not accepting the "Asian-man + white women" fantasy by fitting into their image of an Asian man.



Us Chinese are infamous for producing counterfeits. It's something I despise as a sneakerhead and objectively speaking, it's ethically wrong. I refuse to purchase fugazi sneakers and clothing, and before I moved to the United States I never thought about counterfeiting from a sense of identity, but I'd rather die alone and lover-less than be a cheap version of what a female's ideal man is.

Spoiler

I get what you're saying. You're proud of your ethnic culture, so talking about K-Pop to you and their adoration of K-Pop almost feels like your own culture is being looked over. I think this is what will happen when we cover uncharted ground though. It's kind of like whenever a new Asian-American pops up in popular media, I'm sure all of us have been compared to random people we look nothing like when we were younger. But when it's the only point of reference, that's what people do. Kind of a tangent, but I see Crazy Rich Asians being compared to Black Panther. Literally the films are nothing alike, but it's the only point of reference we have so people drum up those comparisons.

I think it's the same thing in terms of K-Pop being the largest influence on mainstream America that we've ever seen as Asian-Americans and the first one to really impact culture in the way that it has, so we're going to get compared to pop icons from Korea. But I see it as the first step in a long process of getting mainstream America used to seeing us in a different light, and something coming from such a different angle like K-Pop might be the exact thing we need to shift the amount of bad representation we've received. Most of the K-pop fans I've seen also end up watching dramas and other things as well. So all of a sudden, Asian faces have an incredible amount of representation to the American audiences who get drawn in. So personally, I see it as a good thing. A really good thing even.

And honestly, maybe it's thinking too deep into a good thing?

On a side note, I hate when we frame discussions around white women. Maybe it's just cause I'm not particularly into white women more than any other type of race, but I hate the way it makes us look and how it puts other women of different backgrounds down as well. Like I understand they're almost like a barometer for where we're at in terms of representation, but still.

 

[HellaSteph]

This might be a weird question, since this thread is dominantly males (steph ). is anyone here or their gf's into skincare routines? Snail masks, vitamin c serums, sleeping masks etc.

I spend a decent amount on skincare routine but the best routine I've found for Asian skin like mine (lighter, has freckles/sunspots, yellow undertones, burns before tans):

- Vitamin C and/or retinol (please consult your dermatologist for what works for you, I'm not a doctor)
- Hydration (meaning water, not just liquids) with a legit moisturizer
- Exfoliate (every other day)
- Sunblock (SPF 30+ or more)

If you really want to get into it, find:

- A toner you love, use it every day
- A oil that allows you to protect the skin when you're asleep
- Get facials regularly to encourage new skin growth
- Stay out of the sun (always wear sunblock anyway)

 

[HellaSteph]

lol

being called kuya = friendzoned

I call all my Filipino guy friends "kuya" as a sign of respect. Same with ate/tio/tia, I will refer to them as they should be called. It's so American to call them by their first name only so the Asian in me says: I need to address those around me with their title then their name.

 

[HellaSteph]

i actually have been looking heavily into stuff to take care of my face and skin. I'm reaching into my mid 30s and for most of my life, i had amazing, young skin. Now that I'm working so much, i can tell my skin is aging and starting to look old. I use an anti-aging cream that is also a moisturiser, face wash in the shower. Also be sure to get plenty of rest and drink lots of water. Any lack of those two will take a toll on your skin too.

My hubby is in his mid-30s and I push him to get a cleaning/washing routine + moisturize before bed. Once he's all good with that, before he goes to work, I put out a bottle of sunscreen that absorbs fast, no smells, not sticky, and is a lotion so that he doesn't have to apply twice. I feel that because he shaves, I want him to consider switching his shaving cream to a hydrating one so his skin is protected. He's Japanese but he has a full beard so I try to encourage him to take care of his face better.

 

[Xennial]

 

[Nawzlew]

kinda agree tbh

the name part i mean

 

[frink85]

...thats the name of the book?

also, what has he done for asians/asian-americans outside of shoes? legit asking since he pointed it out

 

[slab_diaz]

how expert are you guys in chopsticks? do you hold it in the middle? 3/4? almost at the end? just asking cus i have seen some tourists struggle so bad, like they can pick up the food a bit, but then they have to put down their head so much just to catch the food . kinda funny

 

[whatscomplex]

People who've watched the screening have said the movie is really good. They might just be trying to sell it though, who knows.

 

[SC kid]

how expert are you guys in chopsticks? do you hold it in the middle? 3/4? almost at the end? just asking cus i have seen some tourists struggle so bad, like they can pick up the food a bit, but then they have to put down their head so much just to catch the food . kinda funny

I'm average.

But I'm Filipino. We use the big spoon.
Or hands

 

[equality]

Spoiler

I get what you're saying. You're proud of your ethnic culture, so talking about K-Pop to you and their adoration of K-Pop almost feels like your own culture is being looked over. I think this is what will happen when we cover uncharted ground though. It's kind of like whenever a new Asian-American pops up in popular media, I'm sure all of us have been compared to random people we look nothing like when we were younger. But when it's the only point of reference, that's what people do. Kind of a tangent, but I see Crazy Rich Asians being compared to Black Panther. Literally the films are nothing alike, but it's the only point of reference we have so people drum up those comparisons.

I think it's the same thing in terms of K-Pop being the largest influence on mainstream America that we've ever seen as Asian-Americans and the first one to really impact culture in the way that it has, so we're going to get compared to pop icons from Korea. But I see it as the first step in a long process of getting mainstream America used to seeing us in a different light, and something coming from such a different angle like K-Pop might be the exact thing we need to shift the amount of bad representation we've received. Most of the K-pop fans I've seen also end up watching dramas and other things as well. So all of a sudden, Asian faces have an incredible amount of representation to the American audiences who get drawn in. So personally, I see it as a good thing. A really good thing even.

And honestly, maybe it's thinking too deep into a good thing?

On a side note, I hate when we frame discussions around white women. Maybe it's just cause I'm not particularly into white women more than any other type of race, but I hate the way it makes us look and how it puts other women of different backgrounds down as well. Like I understand they're almost like a barometer for where we're at in terms of representation, but still.

I completely agree with you. I guess the best comparison I would make is if I dated hispanic girls and somehow always brought up "Hey how about George Lopez? He's funny huh?" It's definitely over thinking and over discussing the subject haha mostly cause I enjoy issues around race and identity. I'm all for the K-Pop rise too. I felt a weird sense of pride when BTS performed at the AMAs even though I'm not Korean. I've pretty much slept with every race of women at this point (no brag srs) so it's not exactly an issue, just a point of discussion. Cheers for the well thought out response!

 

[grimeyy]

how expert are you guys in chopsticks? do you hold it in the middle? 3/4? almost at the end? just asking cus i have seen some tourists struggle so bad, like they can pick up the food a bit, but then they have to put down their head so much just to catch the food . kinda funny

Apparently I learned how to use chopsticks on my own at the age of 3. So I'll consider myself an expert Can pick up the smallest of crumbs

 

[wuchi01]

...thats the name of the book?

also, what has he done for asians/asian-americans outside of shoes? legit asking since he pointed it out

Your question and post is spot on.
Also why would anyone take the movie story serious? Having read the first two books just for curiosity and mindless entertainment, no one can relate unless you hang with the 1% of One Percent from SE Asia and Asians from CA/NYC. No interest in this movie.

 

[whatscomplex]

I completely agree with you. I guess the best comparison I would make is if I dated hispanic girls and somehow always brought up "Hey how about George Lopez? He's funny huh?" It's definitely over thinking and over discussing the subject haha mostly cause I enjoy issues around race and identity. I'm all for the K-Pop rise too. I felt a weird sense of pride when BTS performed at the AMAs even though I'm not Korean. I've pretty much slept with every race of women at this point (no brag srs) so it's not exactly an issue, just a point of discussion. Cheers for the well thought out response!

I feel you. It's definitely a lowkey weird vibe sometimes. I know some of my Korean friends especially hate when white kids come up to them on some "I'm into Korean culture" steez. Cause most of the time, it has nothing to do with their actual culture. It's like telling someone you like American culture cause you like Justin Bieber.

Your question and post is spot on.
Also why would anyone take the movie story serious? Having read the first two books just for curiosity and mindless entertainment, no one can relate unless you hang with the 1% of One Percent from SE Asia and Asians from CA/NYC. No interest in this movie.

My only concern is they might extrapolate the sales of this movie to how well movies starring Asians can do. I see the cast on Ellen and Good Morning America promoting it as this huge film for Asian people. I just hope it doesn't bomb and the narrative goes to "well there just isn't enough Asian people in this country to support films with Asians."

 

[Naruto]

Apparently I learned how to use chopsticks on my own at the age of 3. So I'll consider myself an expert Can pick up the smallest of crumbs

Can you pick up marbles

 

[equality]

I don't know anything about Crazy Rich Asians but my fear is they white wash the movie, like they do with every Asian thing in America. Just present Asian American/Asian culture in it's purest form. African American based movies and shows don't need white-washing to succeed, and there's no reason Asian movies need it. Same reason why Fresh Off the Boat rubbed Eddie Huang the wrong way.

On another note, anyone been to that Bao place at the DC airport? **** infuriates me.

 

[anderson]

Can you pick up marbles