- Nov 7, 2009
- 1,554
- 3,823
Nah you're not trippin. As a fellow introvert I totally get it. And there's nothing wrong with asking a younger family member to be more considerate. if they don't know how yet they should at least be willing to learn and compromise.My nephew is upset with me because I keep declining his invitations to "hang out".
I've been an active uncle in his life since he was born. Everything from birthdays to basketball camps.
He hit me up, telling me about a restaurant he wants us to visit and other activities.
Mind you, I'm the one who always pays when we "hang out," but that was when he was growing up or on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc.
He's now in his early 20s and gainfully employed (thank the Creator) in a very nice job.
I am an introvert, and my wife and I enjoy our weekends hiking, riding bikes, camping, or just chilling after all the never-ending domestic work is done. She and I hardly ever "hang out".
I told him I don't "hang out" and shouldn't have to spend money just to see my nephew. I told him the importance of investing and tried to show him how to open a brokerage account.
He told my wife that I disrespected him, and the only reason he wanted to have "uncles day" every month is that my Mom (his Grandmother) mentioned it.
His barber and hairstylist are less than 10 minutes away from my house, and he gets a cut every two weeks, so I asked him why he doesn't stop by and visit when he's in the area.
He told me he has stuff to do and is too busy to stop by after his cut.
He also mentioned that I don't visit him at his apartment (40 minutes away), and he shouldn't be the one coming to me all the time.
Me:
We are not friends, G.
I'm your uncle.
I think he's a virgin or something because there is no way he's that mad that a grown *** man doesn't want to take him out for food and entertainment once a month
From black man to black men - am I trippin?
I dealt with a similar situation. My cousin is 15 years younger than me. My mom adopted him when he was a toddler because his father died and his mother was an addict. We've never been super tight, but I always treated him like a brother.
My mom passed away unexpectedly when he was in his late teens. I stepped up immediately to support him. Whatever he needed, whenever he needed it, I provided. All while grieving myself and planning my mother's funeral.
As months passed and time went on, he seemed unfazed while I was still heavily grieving. When I would call to check in on him, he sounded distant and uninterested in speaking with me. the only time he ever called me was to ask for money or a favor. And every time I would jump to do whatever he asked.
But one evening I'd had enough. He called to ask for money while I was on a movie date with my wife (I'd just given him some the weekend prior). I told him I'd give him the money, but I didn't appreciate only hearing from him when he needed something. He got offended, said never mind and hung up on me.
He later moved out of state to be with a chick he met on IG, discarded my mother's personal belongings that were in his possession, and I had to hear about all this from another relative. We only spoke a few times after that then never spoke or saw each other again. It's been about 8 years now.
If you can salvage and maintain your bond without overextending yourself, you definitely should. But if not.... sometimes you gotta let go and let God. Sorry for the rant
