black men as dead beat fathers

My father was a semi-deadbeat...Most of my memories of my father was of me and my mother being beaten, going to something important for me and in the mist of going; dropping me off to complete his drug sales, and his incarceration of 15 years.  Even now at 50 plus, he still doing the same stuff...(laughing) 

Basically the ninja taught be to be like him in my younger years....Once my daughter came into this world, I vow to never, ever be like that dude.

I strive at the most to be the best father in the world to her.  Even though her mother and I don't see eye to eye, and gives me the most grief in the world, I don't let that stop me.  

She moved to NC out of spite 4 years ago and I still drove every weekend and holiday's to see her, 4 hours going and 4 hours coming back for a whole year straight.  

Don't let that "baby mama" tripping stuff be a reason of not being a father.  Bring her to court. Fight for your children.

I don't even associate myself with men who does not take care of their seed.
 
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Truballa101 said:
I disagree. If we're calling it like it is, there are many women who make it difficult for a man to be a father to his kids.

Our government has given a lot of women incentives to be single mothers..
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MrNappy said:
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like others have stated look at the reasons why the government had to step in. because of such the high rate of absentee fathers (jail, death, wars, abandonment etc)


although there is nothing that can be done after the child is born, again...this is why you need to be careful about who you decide to lay with. I am pretty sure there are those kinds of "crazy' symptoms prior to people engaging in unprotected sex.
 
Brolic Scholar said:
 
Superb said:
it isnt the fathers these days it is the mothers.... it isnt pretty when dealing with a ignorant baby moms
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Bruh, it isn't just the "ignorant" ones either. I don't want to go on and on about my ex, but she has a bachelor's, credentials and a master's degree. A lot of women make it hard for a father to be around.
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To the point that I can see how a father might say **** it and hit the road. This is coming from a man that fought hard for joint custody of my two daughters. I actually had my last court case this morning to up my custody percentage and adjust my schedule. I fought for three years and had to deal with all types of bs just to see my kids like I want to.

I've had to deal with:
--set ups to get jumped while out
--set ups to make it look like I was trying to assault my ex (her running and screaming "HELP HE'S CRAZY!!!) in public while dropping my daughters off
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--her lying to the judge saying I'm a drug addict when I'm clearly not, in fact I don't even drink with exception of the rare social drink and haven't blazed in years
--her just not showing up to bring the kids
--lying to child support about me "abandoning" my kids
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when I have pics of me with them for the time period she says I was absent
--lying to a judge that she had a restraining order against me (couldn't produce it because it didn't exist)
--lying about her work schedule/wages to get more money out of me
--painting me as a wife beater when she's NEVER had her *** kicked by me no matter how disrespectful she has gotten or her putting hands on me
--and the list goes on...

A lot of women get bitter and angry that they're no longer wanted and will make it HELL for a man and I'm not saying that's every case, but in the cases where a man isn't around, sometimes it's because the mother made it to where the dad wasn't willing to have his life ruined potentially. Now there are definitely cases of dad's just not giving a **** and I'm aware of some of those, but honestly, in A LOT of those cases the mother ain't about **** either. The dudes that I personally know that are no longer with their bm/ex are active in their kids' lives just like OP is talking about.

I can also speak from a unique perspective in that my biological mother wasn't **** and my Pops and step-mom raised me. I know personally, it made me and my brother NEVER want to give up on our children no matter what the mom was on.

Shout out to the NT fathers that are doing the right thing. You don't have to be married or in a relationship with the mom to take care of your kids.
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How did any judge keep taking her seriously after the first three lies....
 
I guess I'm naive for thinking there's no way I would let a woman stop me from being actively in my child's life.
 
SoleWoman said:
like others have stated look at the reasons why the government had to step in. because of such the high rate of absentee fathers (jail, death, wars, abandonment etc)


although there is nothing that can be done after the child is born, again...this is why you need to be careful about who you decide to lay with. I am pretty sure there are those kinds of "crazy' symptoms prior to people engaging in unprotected sex.
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the single mother and incarceration statistics shot up AFTER government assistance was instituted, though.
 
Don Adidada said:
Fontaine said:
bruhs...


i know 20 dudes w/ kids. all my friends. from all different walks of life.


hustlas, d boys, corporate cats, blue collar, white collar, etc...


not ONE of them is a deadbeat father.


like... i'm starting to think this is just a product cats ditching their kids in the 70s and 80s, or some made up stats.


dont get me wrong... i know there are some bumbs... of all races.


but i feel like it's extra on the brothas...



maybe because it was true in the past, and this generation is making an effort not to be like their parents.


black men have a bad rep from the 70s and 80s... but like American cars, they stigma that they're unreliable continues to stick eem though the proof is in da pudding, b.


shouts out to all my fathers of all races, btw... cant wait till i have a little young'n so i can call him/her in the room to change the channel.

:pimp:
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:rofl:
I hate that ish but I probably will end up doing it too.
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aww man i missed this lol
 
Fontaine said:
SoleWoman said:
like others have stated look at the reasons why the government had to step in. because of such the high rate of absentee fathers (jail, death, wars, abandonment etc)


although there is nothing that can be done after the child is born, again...this is why you need to be careful about who you decide to lay with. I am pretty sure there are those kinds of "crazy' symptoms prior to people engaging in unprotected sex.
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the single mother and incarceration statistics shot up AFTER government assistance was instituted, though.
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I dont think this government assistance was put into place to "help" anyone in the long run.
 
I am happy to hear that a majority of you guys are very adamant about being there for your children. It is so easy for you guys to just walk away and not have anything to do with the woman or the child.

Also, i stress the whole being careful about who you lay with because my perception of this board is that there are several of you who are young and into just having a good time with these chicks out here. The flipside to that is that a lot of these chicks want more than that and will try to have a baby to keep men around. Then when that dosent go the way they want they become super bitter and scorned.
 
Fontaine said:
the single mother and incarceration statistics shot up AFTER government assistance was instituted, though.
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do you have some sort of proof or source? not trying to challenge you, I just would like to read for myself by chance.
 
heLiumcLinton said:
I guess I'm naive for thinking there's no way I would let a woman stop me from being actively in my child's life.
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There are ways where you have no choice and control. You are guilty until found innocent with certain easy to claim charges. Abuse being one of them off the top of my head. A female could easily make it illegal for you to see your kids. It's sad
 
Long story short,my homie thought he had a kid with this girl, he did everything for that child, the mother made his life hell for no reason. Baby mama got greedy put him on child support, wasn't his kid. :lol:

Basically, DNA test your "kids" as soon as you can. **** trying to be trusting and ****, might waste a year of your life and thousands of dollars on a kid that ain't even yours.
 
Don Adidada said:
How did any judge keep taking her seriously after the first three lies....
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The judge didn't. Those lies all happened in the same case and over the course of months leading up to the date of the hearing. The way it works is if you and the mother can't agree to a visitation schedule or one of the parents is not cooperating, the judge sets up a mediation appointment and then a final hearing happens after that. A mediator will try to get both parties to agree so the judge doesn't have to make a ruling based on his/her opinion which can be a lengthy and complicated mess.

In the time between your first hearing (when the judge sets up the mediation date) and the final hearing, a woman can submit written testimony of a person's character, disagree with the mediation, etc. So by the time we got to the final hearing, my ex had submitted so much bs to the court (the judge has to read all of it before the hearing) that the judge was literally rolling her eyes, shaking her head and making a fool out of my ex in court by simply asking her for proof of ANYTHING that she claimed. The judge even told my ex to her face (glad I got a female judge that wasn't buying it) that what she was doing was typical and she hears the same bs all the time with no evidence. Basically making a man out to be a monster is a Hail Mary for a woman trying to get full custody of her kids. I'm sure it works sometimes, but without proof what judge is going to buy it?

My hearing yesterday was to iron out some terms of my custody that were left up to interpretation (after the last "final hearing" a year ago :lol: :smh: ) because my ex was trying to act like she has full custody of my kids and I have to do what she says. The way it worked out was my custody was increased and the schedule is more realistic for someone that is working. But once again, it took a few months to iron all of this out. I had to go file the paperwork with the court, have my ex served, go through mediation and then a hearing. After about 8 trips to the court, I don't know how many hours having my documents reviewed, waiting in line to submit and file two separate motions and three months later for this final round, this summer was spent adjusting custody and child support. In the end it was worth it though. I got more time with my kids, a better schedule and my child support was cut in half.



.
 
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BLASTERCOMBO said:
heLiumcLinton said:
I guess I'm naive for thinking there's no way I would let a woman stop me from being actively in my child's life.
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There are ways where you have no choice and control. You are guilty until found innocent with certain easy to claim charges. Abuse being one of them off the top of my head. A female could easily make it illegal for you to see your kids. It's sad
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Yeah I said a woman can't stop me, not the law. Referring to all the examples of baby moms giving you the round around, annoying texts, switching times to meet for the child, etc. I don't like the "I barely see my kid because his mom is tripping". I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of a response, just give me my child and keep it moving :lol:

Men also need to note that they should be going to court way before the mom does. First sight of nonsense, go get legal documentation of visitation and child support.
 
Tr1ll said:
Why do I feel like your BM claps her hands when she talks??
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You already know it

BLASTERCOMBO said:
Sucks man but she talks to you like that because you've allowed her to. She has no respect for you.


Y'all talk using hashtags? :smh:
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How you figure that lil one? You don't think that girl is sick to her stomach because I won't be with her?? Lol of course I'm letting her talk to me like that because that's all it is...talk. None of what she was saying was about my daughter so why entertain it? I been there done that with the arguing back and forth, she not my girl, I got one of those I been with for about 2 yrs.

Her talking can't stop me from having my daughter to myself 3 days a week, not gone make my ***** leave me, and not gone make me get back with her so at this point you pick your battles. She knows better than to disrespect me but a "scorned" woman will say anything, so if we not in a relationship, them feelings she got not my problem.
 
The 7th Mile said:
How you figure that lil one? You don't think that girl is sick to her stomach because I won't be with her?? Lol of course I'm letting her talk to me like that because that's all it is...talk. None of what she was saying was about my daughter so why entertain it? I been there done that with the arguing back and forth, she not my girl, I got one of those I been with for about 2 yrs.

Her talking can't stop me from having my daughter to myself 3 days a week, not gone make my ***** leave me, and not gone make me get back with her so at this point you pick your battles. She knows better than to disrespect me but a "scorned" woman will say anything, so if we not in a relationship, them feelings she got not my problem.
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This man gets it.



Outta reps.
 
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jthagreat said:
Don Adidada said:
Fontaine said:
bruhs...


i know 20 dudes w/ kids. all my friends. from all different walks of life.


hustlas, d boys, corporate cats, blue collar, white collar, etc...


not ONE of them is a deadbeat father.


like... i'm starting to think this is just a product cats ditching their kids in the 70s and 80s, or some made up stats.


dont get me wrong... i know there are some bumbs... of all races.


but i feel like it's extra on the brothas...



maybe because it was true in the past, and this generation is making an effort not to be like their parents.


black men have a bad rep from the 70s and 80s... but like American cars, they stigma that they're unreliable continues to stick eem though the proof is in da pudding, b.


shouts out to all my fathers of all races, btw... cant wait till i have a little young'n so i can call him/her in the room to change the channel.

:pimp:
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:rofl:
I hate that ish but I probably will end up doing it too.
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aww man i missed this lol
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If tvs/cable boxes don't have some sort of tech like the xbox kinect in the future I will be very disappointed
 
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