Cherish the time with your father..

bkmac

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I'm really sorry for your situation. I can't even begin to think about what my life would be without my dad (and my mom too). Hopefully one day you will reunite with your father and make things work.

I actually saved my fathers life the day he had his stroke in July 2010 (found him after he had it lying on his bed and immediately called 911). To see him like that, and in the condition he is in now (he's since recovered, but not fully), it kills me. He's been such a great father to me, always providing for me and doing things with me. Now, things are much more limited, but we make it work. We were very close before the stroke, but we are even closer now.
 
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Beautiful man; good luck with that and stay up!
Yeah we have our differences but my pops has always provied for our fam
 
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Thanks for sharing my dude.
I had a similar situation growing up but the summer before moving away to college me and my pops put our differences aside for the most part. I realized time with the fam was more important than other things going on.
Sometimes it seems like you'll will never work it out, but it is better late than never to try and fix things.
Hope you and your dad spend more time together.
 
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Story mirrors a cousin of mine with his situation and I definitely have learned to appreciate my parents from watching that experience unfold before my eyes.
 
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Listen to this man. Friday will be 5 years since I lost my pops. He was sick most of my life, but I still have all of those same memories of us when I was little in the park, at the movies, Mets games, just hanging out.

It never gets easier.
 
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That was one of the most heartfelt posts I've ever read on NT. I had horrible parents growing up so I can relate to some of your experience. I haven't spoken to or seen my father in over 10-15 years (maybe 20 years, I don't know I lost count). Ditto with my mother (except for my brother's wedding a year or two ago). She was incredibly abusive physically & mentally. What stands in the way of you reaching out to him & trying to see him regularly?

I have a 7 year old son. I love that little boy & my wife more than I can ever describe. He's taught me more about myself than I've taught him. He inspires me to be the best person I can be. I want to spend as much time as I possibly can. He's more than I could've ever wished for. So in a way, I'm getting to correct the mistakes my father made. I do miss the idea of him but not him specifically.
 
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my dad has never really been around. in fact my mom has played both roles of mother and father but i have no hard feelings towards my dad. love him regardless of the circumstances
 
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Thanks for sharing man. I was so fortunate to have one of those "greatest dad in the world" kind of dads. He passed away in 05 from a heart attack at age 63

Now i am a father and can't wait to share so many good times and memories with my son and family. I learned so much from my dad, he truly will be missed
 
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I learned this all too well in '09. My Dad passed and we didn't have the closest relationship.  Fathers have it rough man...they really do.  I know my dad loved me and tried to do everything he could for me, but he, like most of us were men too...and it can be tough expressing your feelings when the situations are sticky...my dad called me the day before he died and I never called him back...let the small things slide, !$%$ your pride and let go of the animosity .... it'll haunt you
 

Gill Baka Esq. LLC.

formerly grimlock
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that's tough...me and my dad are quite distant in our relationship...we both got love for each other but we look at this world in different ways. I still call him up once in a while to see whats good with him.
 
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The fact that he stayed until you were 18 speaks volumes about your father. My mom took off when I was only months old, and I've only seen her every 4 years or so. Caused hella problems in my life. I've got this photo from a private detective of my mom cheating on my father. Shes making out with this dude and all I can see is the back of his head and elbows. And I swear we have similar backs of heads and elbows




But I look like my father too, and he is my father regardless of the situation. Our childhood relationship was tarnished because he put his work and my stepmom first in his life, but I never realized he was doing that all for me until I was an adult. We were so separated emotionally. And now that I'm 25, living in Chicago 1600 miles away, we don't have that chance to bond like we could have. Every once in awhile I wake up to a text from my dad trying to shoot the %%@!, "how is the sushi life"
, but I know I'm gonna respond to that text, and vice versa a couple times and that will be it. Not much more. He wants me to move back home to Oklahoma, but I don't fit in there, nor do I even fit in with my step family. I'm an adult now. I have picked a life direction that works and it just doesn't involve Oklahoma. And he's just now realizing this.



With all that said, I am thankful I have the ability to text my father. I am thankful for the sacrifices he has made for me, my country and my family. He could have took off considering how questionable my mother was, and left me to her craziness. But regardless of questions he kept me and raised me to the best of his abilities. But unfortunately our differences have led us apart. And you just never know when you'll see someone again..
 
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GooD Looks OP, I hope you and your Father get to spend more time with each other. 
My Dad and I are not close but I feel the love he tries not to show. Growing up in the Philippines my Dad never really had a Father figure to look up too because his Dad was alway doing his own thing. Pretty much left my Dad and uncles to fend for themselves, So my dad has the Mentality not to show any emotion toward showing some love like a father figure. Its hard sometimes so I told myself I would not do the same thing to my kids and be more of a father figure to them. 
 
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Originally Posted by psk2310


That was one of the most heartfelt posts I've ever read on NT. I had horrible parents growing up so I can relate to some of your experience. I haven't spoken to or seen my father in over 10-15 years (maybe 20 years, I don't know I lost count). Ditto with my mother (except for my brother's wedding a year or two ago). She was incredibly abusive physically & mentally. What stands in the way of you reaching out to him & trying to see him regularly?

I have a 5 year old son. I love that little boy & my wife more than I can ever describe. He's taught me more about myself than I've taught him. He inspires me to be the best person I can be. I want to spend as much time as I possibly can. He's more than I could've ever wished for. So in a way, I'm getting to correct the mistakes my father made. I do miss the idea of him but not him specifically.
exactly how I feel. Op you should like you just take a trip to chill with your pops
  
 

iblink

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Kinda hard to cherish a man that been behind bars for the past 12 years.
 
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my pops passed when i was 17

we had a great father/son relationship.

i do miss him , he taught me a lot.
 
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Been In This Position Before And Wasted So Much Time...

Fortunate For Me And My Pops We Were Able To Put Our Differences Aside And Have A Normal Father/Son Relationship
 
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Nah I'm good. Guy is a sociopath and lied to us numerous times and stole my money. He said he wish I wasn't his son and acts more like a father to #+%$#'s children so he can go die for all I care.
 
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Originally Posted by jdiggs

That was beautiful my brother. Makes you think.. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah, I have a decent relationship with my father. However, it's sad that most people don't have good relationships w/ their, because of how their mother viewed their dads. Yes there are bad dads, but a good number of them actually make a effort, but are viewed bad because of the mother's influence. 
 
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Originally Posted by Frank Mucus

Nah I'm good. Guy is a sociopath and lied to us numerous times and stole my money. He said he wish I wasn't his son and acts more like a father to #+%$#'s children so he can go die for all I care.

I had no idea.
 
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Bro....my story is identical...i can relate. It hurts..a lot...but Imma try to be positive about it and appreciate the good stuff while I can. Keep your head up man and try to make it better while you can.
 
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