Confessions

yea super take it easy I'm in school to be an Parmedic so I would advise to not hit gym for a week and going to the hospital is a good thing because they can further check you out like did you hurt something that's not visible to the eye... good luck dude


if i really thought there was a problem i would have gone but i really didnt feel the need. i passed the concussion test

fireman/emt kept telling me next day i was gonna feel like i got hit by a train but that def wasnt the case either

i cant explain, im kinda big so maybe the crash didnt rock me so much, im gonna see the car today i have no clue what it looks like ill take pics
 
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so I'm open to meeting new girls now. The last girl still stings but I can't be a debbie downer for the rest of my life. I see some bad females at my gym and now all that's left is to get my confidence back. Problem is, I don't know how. The fire just keeps getting put out by flashbacks. I'm just not as badass as I thought I was in hs. I'm 20 and people think I'm 15/16. My voice hasn't changed since 8th grade, i hate it.
 
my closest friend happens to be the one who I actually never met in person (lives in FL, I'm in NJ)

it's funny how things are like that sometimes

Also heading to college in the fall but I feel like I'm downplaying it, nervous and really don't know what to expect 
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if i really thought there was a problem i would have gone but i really didnt feel the need. i passed the concussion test

fireman/emt kept telling me next day i was gonna feel like i got hit by a train but that def wasnt the case either

i cant explain, im kinda big so maybe the crash didnt rock me so much, im gonna see the car today i have no clue what it looks like ill take pics
you never know.. You should had went to the hospital because usually injuires dont show or start hurting for weeks, or even years you will have problems because of that injury and giess what, you will not be covered by your auto insurance or the other person if they are at fault
 
My own mind got in my way

:{

Hurt the person I care about the most and it sucks, really puts life in a different light

I seriously need to change a bunch

Saying I'm disappointed in myself is an understatement
 
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I do not care for a lot of things anymore. Really think I need a vacation and to move away from home for a little bit but it's like I have to stay here to help watch my little brother when my mom is out working. **** feels like a trap sometimes to me ya know?

Started smoking weed and I've honestly started to feel better about life in general. I am more calm and level headed. I feel, after the high comes down and even the next day I feel that way.

Need to get out the house more because when I'm stuck in the here for days at a time I get really introverted where I don't really want to talk to anyone or do anything at all. Recently went to a Monster Truck show and that was cool as hell to me. :hat

My thoughts about death and suicide are somewhat worse but better than before at the same time. :lol Still contemplating on seeing a therapist to see if it helps at all.
 
I do not care for a lot of things anymore. Really think I need a vacation and to move away from home for a little bit but it's like I have to stay here to help watch my little brother when my mom is out working. **** feels like a trap sometimes to me ya know?

Started smoking weed and I've honestly started to feel better about life in general. I am more calm and level headed. I feel, after the high comes down and even the next day I feel that way.

Need to get out the house more because when I'm stuck in the here for days at a time I get really introverted where I don't really want to talk to anyone or do anything at all. Recently went to a Monster Truck show and that was cool as hell to me. :hat

My thoughts about death and suicide are somewhat worse but better than before at the same time. :lol Still contemplating on seeing a therapist to see if it helps at all.
Been through this but at that time I had to tough it out till I got older. I suggest you find a chill spot in public.
 
ok I just typed out this long *** confession about a female situation on my mind like crazy(literally started this post 3 hours ago in the middle of the night on my bed...stupid *** phone just literally erased it all. New confession...**** this iPhone 6 plus. I'm selling this ****.
 
I do not care for a lot of things anymore. Really think I need a vacation and to move away from home for a little bit but it's like I have to stay here to help watch my little brother when my mom is out working. **** feels like a trap sometimes to me ya know?

Started smoking weed and I've honestly started to feel better about life in general. I am more calm and level headed. I feel, after the high comes down and even the next day I feel that way.

Need to get out the house more because when I'm stuck in the here for days at a time I get really introverted where I don't really want to talk to anyone or do anything at all. Recently went to a Monster Truck show and that was cool as hell to me.
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My thoughts about death and suicide are somewhat worse but better than before at the same time.
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Still contemplating on seeing a therapist to see if it helps at all.
stay up man 
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passed on a booty call today from my classmate. I never thought there'd be a day where I could say no to yambs.

Just been down in the dumps lately consumed by guilt and regret of how me and my ex from years back ended. I say I'll be content if I get forgiveness but deep inside I feel like I want more. I kinda want a second try at it as those days with her were the last time I can truly say that I was happy. She's not the most attractive person looks wise so that had a part to do with me leaving. I realize now that looks aren't everything. Being with her gave me this energy, I never got tired and was extremely enthusiastic, **** was one of the best feelings I've experienced in my life. She also had high emotional intelligence so we had good chemistry. I was immature and didn't value this, but now I do as it's gone. She's a late bloomer and everyone telling me how she has potential also makes me regret it even more.

This is my worst trait and I hate myself for it. I just couldn't ever value what I had and always lusted for 'better' things.
 
passed on a booty call today from my classmate. I never thought there'd be a day where I could say no to yambs.

Just been down in the dumps lately consumed by guilt and regret of how me and my ex from years back ended. I say I'll be content if I get forgiveness but deep inside I feel like I want more. I kinda want a second try at it as those days with her were the last time I can truly say that I was happy. She's not the most attractive person looks wise so that had a part to do with me leaving. I realize now that looks aren't everything. Being with her gave me this energy, I never got tired and was extremely enthusiastic, **** was one of the best feelings I've experienced in my life. She also had high emotional intelligence so we had good chemistry. I was immature and didn't value this, but now I do as it's gone. She's a late bloomer and everyone telling me how she has potential also makes me regret it even more.

This is my worst trait and I hate myself for it. I just couldn't ever value what I had and always lusted for 'better' things.

I guess you never know what you got, till its gone. I think you should defintely go and speak with her and explain how you have grown as a person and changed, apologise for your behaviour and actions in the past and see whether she feels like there is something still there/if there is a chance at a future together, at the very least you will have closure.
 
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My thoughts get so loud that I cant even watch a movie without missing half of it cos all that's in my head is my thoughts. May as well have my eyes closed. Smh.
 
A couple of weeks ago, females were coming out of the woodwork, tracking me down on fb. I'm talking females I hadn't talked to in years. I chalked it up to Valentine's desperation and left it alone.

One in particular was a Mexican chick I used to **** with a few years ago. She hit me up and started asking about my life and I told her I checked her profile and pics and noticed she's now married. (we aren't even fb friends)

She kept complaining about her man and told me she was thinking about me, blah, blah, blah... I told her I was happy and to take care.

I kept screen shots of the convo.

Sad part is besides being married, she has two kids with this dude. He's an NTer too. :{ I'd never put her on blast and risk her life or whatever, but old girl is living the trife life. Got dude supporting her and trying to rekindle a flame that's long gone. Chick used to send mad nudes back in the day too. 8o

I just feel for dude and I wish I could tell him, but dudes go to acting like psychos sometimes and I'm cool on the drama.
 
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^^^ Damn, them feels. So hard to not tell the dude, cos you feel sorry for him. But yeh, not your drama. No reward for being superman in this world.. The girl tho... man.... that's why I don't care im not in a relationship. No matter how tight it looks or feels, it can all end overnight without you knowing you been living a lie. :{
 
The chick is something else man. She fronted like she was pregnant for me back in the day and I called her bluff. :{
 
I'm finally  back at the stage of my life where females are less like people and more like objects to me. 
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I think I'm kinda over making new friends/connections, && I've only been at school up here for six weeks now :x :x

Just wanna do the things I'm interested in, make my name known in areas that I'm aiming for, && getting on with my life...usually outgoing for a 'quiet' dude, but I'm just like whatever right now.
 
What's up with the &&? You should eliminate that from your vocabulary..a bro tip from me, my opinion though.

To everyone else, everyday's an obstacle, find someway to get through it. Worry less of others and focus on yourself.
 
Only my best bud knows this story, but feels good to get it off my chest.

After a night out, met this Columbia student waiting for the subway. Chest game on point, dig her tattoo. Exchange numbers, text for weeks. Wild chemistry, she's intellectual and spunky. Teasingly sexual.

Fast forward to setup a date. First off, I mixed up her favorite restaurant with another girl (Union Square Cafe vs. Stanton Social). I recover and play it off.

The night of, an old flame has impeccable timing. Old coworkers, had past relations. Meet for a drink on the UES before the date. Couple 7 & 7's and brews. No harm, no foul. Turns into bourbon shots and a bottle of white wine. Went home with her despite my better judgment.

I smell like sex, 3 hours late for this date. Chick has been blowing my phone up with angry texts and aggressive voice mails. She showed up and waited for me for 90 minutes. Yells at me about manners and common courtesy.

Somehow I convince her to come back to the restaurant. Blamed my friend, said we got drunk because I really like you and was nervous about the date. Tapas and cocktails. Night salvaged, but guilt-ridden.
 
Only my best bud knows this story, but feels good to get it off my chest.

After a night out, met this Columbia student waiting for the subway. Chest game on point, dig her tattoo. Exchange numbers, text for weeks. Wild chemistry, she's intellectual and spunky. Teasingly sexual.

Fast forward to setup a date. First off, I mixed up her favorite restaurant with another girl (Union Square Cafe vs. Stanton Social). I recover and play it off.

The night of, an old flame has impeccable timing. Old coworkers, had past relations. Meet for a drink on the UES before the date. Couple 7 & 7's and brews. No harm, no foul. Turns into bourbon shots and a bottle of white wine. Went home with her despite my better judgment.

I smell like sex, 3 hours late for this date. Chick has been blowing my phone up with angry texts and aggressive voice mails. She showed up and waited for me for 90 minutes. Yells at me about manners and common courtesy.

Somehow I convince her to come back to the restaurant. Blamed my friend, said we got drunk because I really like you and was nervous about the date. Tapas and cocktails. Night salvaged, but guilt-ridden.

That's Dirty Bruh...
Cant judge, prob do the same thing myself. But damn..... U got lucky, treat her like a princess 10 fold to make up for that
 
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