do you feel theres a double standard towards your coworkers with kids in the workplace?

do you feel theres a double standard in the workplace for people with kids in the work place?

  • yes

    Votes: 9 52.9%

  • no

    Votes: 1 5.9%

  • never noticed or don't pay attention.

    Votes: 7 41.2%
  • Total voters
    17
Show All
rustlenomics

rustlenomics

3,445
2,954
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
my department continues to hire dads and gives them lots of slack because they also have kids themselves.

i cant ever say that im tired around these people because they always make it about their miserable existence with kids.

i feel like im not treated as an adult even though ive been very careful to not have a child i cant take care of.

also for you parents, why yall having kids you cant take care of?
 
Can you give specific examples of what happened @ your Jon? I feel like that would help out here.

I come in peace.
 
rustlenomics said:
my department continues to hire dads and gives them lots of slack because they also have kids themselves.

i cant ever say that im tired around these people because they always make it about their miserable existence with kids.

i feel like im not treated as an adult even though ive been very careful to not have a child i cant take care of.

also for you parents, why yall having kids you cant take care of?
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multiple factors as to why they're already miserable with raising a child. could be anything from more work than anticipated to their partner not putting in effort or not around to unforeseen situations.

as for the bolded, that's an age old question with varying and confusing answers lol
 
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Idk about a double-standard. You can swap the topic of kids for something else a person would talk about all the time and could possibly still get some leeway.

That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if all they talk about is being 'tired' or having to do 'this or that' for their kid(s) on the weekend. Parenting is hardwork.
 
Parenting eats roughly 4 hours out of my personal time. 1 hour before work and 2-3 hours after work. Bringing each day to 12 hours of time obligation right off the bat.
I haven’t been in the gym lately but truthfully it should be another hour added because my job is an office job. And then 5-7 hours of sleep brings the day to 22 hours.
Required eating on the quick side puts me at 22.5 hours. Leaving an additional 1.5 hours in a work day of personal entitlement. Obviously if any errand needs to be run, any unforeseen event, even a phone call from a family member, that personal time vanishes.

So just running the numbers, no I can’t stay overtime. No I can’t work my day off. No I’m not picking up a shift. No I can’t change my hours week to week. Get the childless workers to do it. And when the time comes… promote them to the manager job. I’m not even putting my resume in when it opens. I know the trade off. It’s not a matter of not being able to take care of kids. It’s more a reality of parents not creating nuclear families with a primary domestic parent. Corporations wanted this so people produce and consume more. So don’t complain unless you hate capitalism. Just quiet quit.
 
There's no overt double standard with my teams. We give grace to folks to need to leave early or in the middle of the day to do something for their kid, but we also do that for folks who will be offline for a couple hours to take drop their car off at the mechanic.
 
Parenting eats roughly 4 hours out of my personal time. 1 hour before work and 2-3 hours after work. Bringing each day to 12 hours of time obligation right off the bat. Plus a 2 1/2 - 3 hour round trip commute

So just running the numbers, no I can’t stay overtime. No I can’t work my day off. No I’m not picking up a shift. No I can’t change my hours week to week. Get the childless workers to do it. And when the time comes… promote them to the manager job. I’m not even putting my resume in when it opens. I know the trade off. It’s not a matter of not being able to take care of kids. It’s more a reality of parents not creating nuclear families with a primary domestic parent. Corporations wanted this so people produce and consume more. So don’t complain unless you hate capitalism.

man i felt that to the fullest. i have a soon to be 5 year old and at the end of the day im OUT especially during the warmer months. Before i had a child I used to get on my coworker for not staying with us to get this OT and he would always say "nah im going home to my son to take him out..." and being ignorant i would play it down like whatever man lol. After that rough 1st year where i wasnt rushing home because the baby was babying lol, along with 2020 hitting when she was a year and a half and i worked remotely i struggle to staying beyond. it does help that my job is very family friendly.
 
i work at a children’s hospital so yea they are very generous to people with kids. very understanding to mothers and fathers and that’s how it should be. you can’t draw a hard line for parents cause they are never gonna choose their job over their kids so you would just end up losing people.

my manager will also let you go home or take a day off even if your dog or cat dies so they are pretty understanding of everything
 
I am very accomodating with my co-workers with kids. I think some, not all use it as an excuse to get me to cover for them. :lol:

My fave coworker got some bad *** toddler big headed boys so Im willing to help her out. The others I dont know as well with older kids using excuses like my kid got college visits Im more skeptical of
 
never affected me personally (I dont have any kids) but I have heard of younger people complaining that they get more work than the older folks due to variables like kids.

I have never picked up anyone's slack because of their outside variables besides them being sick or a death in the family.
 
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All depends on industry, field, type of job. Anything boring and easy gimme the parent who reminds you of that every chance given

Something challenging, incentivized gimme the youngster who thinks they deserve a raise cause you laughed at a joke they made
 
For the most part I'm pretty lenient on employees with children, but some of the excuses they have to skip work are honestly ridiculous at times.

I can't tell you how many employees decide to come to us less than 3 days before they need to take off because their kid is on spring break or for it's their graduation/moving-up day. Then they have the balls to play the victim and act offended when you point out that they knew damn well these days were coming and still decided to wait until the last minute.

I understand emergencies and the curveballs life can throw at us, but I have very little patience for irresponsibility and entitled attitudes. Your child is not a Get Out of Jail Free card.
 
If anything we need to be more lenient.

Life is about sacrifice though. That one poster had it right. Yes, we should be extra lenient but we also shouldn’t be promoting people that can’t commit as strongly to the responsibility of the job.

If someone can work 60 hours in a week and someone only 35 then it’s only fair the one that works more should get paid more / get the monetary benefits. If the 35 hour person is still an asset i think good to keep him on as well. People being able to contribute at different levels is normal imo.

I think what OP is arguing for is meritocracy. That’s missing in a lot of organizations and companies.
 
I’d find something similar to discuss (pet(s), sports league, training for a race/marathon, etc.). It will likely give you the same leeway as people with children.

I think there’s a better argument for people with electric cars receiving free charging stations at work.

EDIT: this shouldn’t have any impact on bonus eligibility which is easier for a company to create strict guidelines.
 
Who said it was a matter of “can’t be taken care of?”

The comment sounds like it came from a place of ignorance. Kids are a lot of work, things happen - they get sick, need transportation, schools close for a dumb holiday, etc. Any job should be understanding and accommodating as much as possible while also making sure they aren’t being taken advantage of.

Curious what your specific examples are?

Pets are the wave now. I get more people asking me for time off or to leave early cuz Fido threw up or needs a spa day 🙄

Either way, good managers need to balance smoke being blown and making sure your employees know that they have the opportunity to take care of their personal matters.
 
As a soon to be father of two I won't even lie to you, I wouldn't even work for a company that wasn't understanding of my commitments to my family and wasn't willing to be forgiving (at the very least) of certain things that involve parenting.

My kid gets out at 230 on Wednesdays. I have no family support so everything falls on my wife and I. We do our best to cover all the gaps but u better believe if wifey can't pick up my kid I'm leaving work to do so.


I have no problem getting online at 8PM-midnight to make up for whatever I missed
 
I used to feel guilty for missing work to do things for my kids but no more. Who will be impacted the most from you not being there? Your kid or your job? These jobs dont care about people. They will get someone else to fill your shoes in a heartbeat. As long as the work gets done it shouldn't even matter. You cannot get time with your family back. I go to every single field trip, assembly, game, practice you name it.
 
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If you don’t have kids, you don’t understand the time and work it is. Doesn’t mean you can’t take care of them. And this is such a USA/capitalist mentality. Other countries give women a year or two off after having a kid. Get mad time off to take care of your family. It’s always good to have a boss that has kids cause they know it’s a second job having kids.
 
rustlenomics said:
my department continues to hire dads and gives them lots of slack because they also have kids themselves.

i cant ever say that im tired around these people because they always make it about their miserable existence with kids.

i feel like im not treated as an adult even though ive been very careful to not have a child i cant take care of.

also for you parents, why yall having kids you cant take care of?
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