Feeling behind in life

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Social media and consumerism has ruined the youth's perception of success AND how life operates. They get told they NEED to go to college get a degree and go in debt and when they graduate they will get the big 6 digit plus job+ easily.

Then when that doesn't happen they get thrown into a spiral of doubt and lost confidence because from the ages 5-21 life and school has been completely linear with a defined progression.

Lastly they log in to IG/FB and see some other random 20 somethings taking trips, buying expensive cars etc now they think they're failing at life.
 
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aepps20

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STOP IT RIGHT NOW FAMB.
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Now that that's out of the way. I want to tell you that you are doing excellent. My mom used to tell me to "run your own race" and that advice has carried me through 38 years of life, a 13 year legal career and countless ups and downs in life. Comparison is a dangerous game that will only slow you down and prevent you from doing your best. All you see when you compare yourself to others is a false picture of what you're not. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and good and bad seasons in life. You don't know where a person is when you compare yourself. You are GOOD ENOUGH. YOUR ARE SMART. YOU ARE YOU.
 
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The internet got these kids perception all ***** up. My question to OP is how can there be a race or even a pace to have if everyone’s destinations are different? There’s no “set course”.

It’s crazy how the American idea of “success” involves giving someone else enormous sums of money.
 
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The internet got these kids perception all ***** up. My question to OP is how can there be a race or even a pace to have if everyone’s destinations are different? There’s no “set course”.

It’s crazy how the American idea of “success” involves giving someone else enormous sums of money.

Personally for me success would be to make enough money to have a family (1-2 kids), a house, a friend group I can hang out with to watch sporting events and to get drinks with, and a job I somewhat enjoy. Would also like to take a vacation once a year or so but that's not mandatory.

I'm like 4/5 no family yet. I'm 26 right now though I'm not rushing it not doing the whole baby mama thing.
 
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To be 21 and living at home again. I wasn't even close to graduating college and my life was in shambles. Man, much simpler times. :lol:
 
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Wassup guys,

Im 21 and in university. During covid I really struggled and fell behind heavily in my third year courses.

Im now back in person and feeling more motivated than ever. Waking up at 6am because my commute is 2 hours to campus. Completing my fourth year classes in mt 5th year but planning on doing a 6th to finish off a couple classes for my minor.

The thing is, many of my classmates are graduated and I genuinely feel very behind. Like ive been wasting my time the last 2 years.

Im studying mechanical engineering with a minor in maths.

Have you guys ever felt behind or frustrated because you didn’t maximize your time?
I think what you're feeling is what many people feel. IMO, it's normal. I felt that way when I was back in college. I didn't really focus on getting my degree until maybe 2-3 years after I graduated? I ended up just working an hourly job to buy sneakers.

Just remind yourself to take it a day at a time and that you path is yours alone. Focus on your goal on the degree. You are almost there.
 
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You'll figure it out family. A lot of students will get demoralized if they don't graduate in 4 years but very few do. The last few semesters of college are tough but you'll be so proud of yourself when you finish
 
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As long as you graduate you straight... I was suppose to graduate in 4 years and be 22 instead I was 24 when I graduated and it took 6 years... The first four years I was at a community college and didnt take my entry test seriously and had a bunch of remedial classes... Some of which I had to repeat so instead of 2 years at community college it was 4 lol...and once I got into a 4 year college my last 2 years I had trouble with my classes my first semester... but I started to use ratemyprofessor.com and was straight after that
 
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Took me 7 years to graduate college. Got into the architectural program a year late + program is 5 years + I took a 1 year break from the program. So 7 years. I didn’t feel behind at all. In fact I’m so grateful that things turned out the way they did. A lot of the good fortune & opportunities in my life can definitely be attributed to the timing of when things took place.
 
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Keep pushing man, I'm almost 30 and I just started medical school (Not sure why I am putting myself through this hell :lol: ) A lot of my friends from college are physicians or doing their thing in the workforce, but hey it is what it is

Congrats. My wife started PA school this year and she feels too old for it. The average age of medical students is approaching 30s. You dont realize how young you are until you graduate and work with aging doctors.
 

Moheezy

formerly mizzoe33
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H HoodieSZN I felt the same way you did when I was in Uni. I changed my degree 5 times and ended up with a double major, it wasn't by choice, I just couldn't find a program that would give me the knowledge that I needed for my tech startup. I realized that university is too theoretical to be practically applied.

I've seen all my friends graduate before I did, getting good paying jobs, getting married, some even putting a downpayment for a house while I was working on a struggling startups barely making ends meet and not yet graduated. When I eventually graduated, I didn't know anybody in my graduating class. But at the end of the day, I realized that NONE of that mattered.

As of today, I am (thankfully) making more money than most of my friends (although none of that matters and I am not saying it to count other people's pockets, I am just trying to prove a point), I have a house and two kids. The one or two years extra that you stay in school is going to be a small blip compared to the next 40 to 60 years.

What matters most is where you are right now and what you are doing with your time there. It was extremely difficult when I compared myself to my colleagues, but I had to constantly remind myself what the bigger picture was. It also really helped that I had a mentor and I highly advise you to get one.

Your time at university is special, and it's actually a blessing that you can spend more time there because once that's over, you will never experience a time like that again, even if you plan to do a post grad, let's say you may have a family, the university experience will be different.

Enjoy your time there, but also, experiment. One of the most precious things I've learned there are all the things I knew I did NOT want to do. I'd rather spend a semester learning that I hate accounting than to figure that out working 10 years as an Accountant.
 
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21? You are nowhere near, NOWHERE NEAR “behind” in life. Sounds like you have a ton on your plate, but you’re doing just fine. Better then like 99% of the general population.

Please forgive me, I’m not trying to stereotype you in any way, but do you happen to be Asian, or do you have pressure coming from parents who are Asian? I only ask because in my experience in school growing up, my peers with Asian parents had immense pressure coming from their parents. Unrealistic pressure because they hadn’t won the Pulitzer Prize by 19.
Thank you, genuinely. You and many others have really helped to put things into perspective which can be hard sometimes when you are feeling in the moment.

I am Somali. I don't have wild parental pressures but its mostly from me possibly as the eldest or possibly because I see how hard my father works and wanting to compare his effort to mine during covid.
 

AZwildcats

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Took me 6 years to finish my degree, I know the feeling of being behind. You’ll live bro, keep at it
 
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My guy you aren’t behind in life.
I’m 30 and in my last semester for Mechanical Engineering lol been doing this school bs for 10years due to major change and failing classes. You’ll be alright
Appreciate the words of encouragement. The mental strength to keep perusing it is very admirable bro. Its not an easy program, and its especially harder if you're in and out of studies. Best of luck to you!
 
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I think what you're feeling is what many people feel. IMO, it's normal. I felt that way when I was back in college. I didn't really focus on getting my degree until maybe 2-3 years after I graduated? I ended up just working an hourly job to buy sneakers.

Just remind yourself to take it a day at a time and that you path is yours alone. Focus on your goal on the degree. You are almost there.
Thats a good reminder to have, ill try to remember that. Thank you:smile:
 
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