FML. Vol. Imagine...

mamaco

Banned
364
10
Joined May 3, 2009
Being ridiculously hungover and miserable, all you want is an ice cold Aquafina from the vending machine outside your dorm. You're poor, you're astruggling college student barely managing to make ends meet. You know all you need is 1.50 to satisfy your deepest desires. You look in your wallet and thereare absolutely zero dollars. You look through your various pairs of pants and manage to accumulate a grand total of ¢ 45. FML.

You go through your roommates belongings and acquire an additional dollar in quarters. Salvation, you can almost taste the ice cold water running down yourthroat (no BNFL). You need just five more cents. A nickel, something you take for granted everyday as you throw it in the 'tip jar' or worse yet in thetrash, having no desire to carry the burden of 'loose change.' FML.

You spend 20 minutes turning your 10' x 12' cubicle upside down looking for the final piece to the puzzle. You find nothing. Weak, defeated, deliriousfrom thirst, you sit on the floor contemplating death, for the thought of going without liquid any longer is not fathomable. Alas! If there is a God, thansurely what pity he may feel, has been deposited in the recesses of a couch, amongst many, scattered throughout a deserted common ground. You make your way tothe lobby, crawling on all fourths in a terrible physical state. Still drunk from last nights wine, hungover and exhausted from the mornings toils, deprived ofsleep, you literally crawl to the last glistening beacon of hope.

Upon your arrival, a sudden rush of energy overcomes you. You toss pillows and comforters aside, determined to find a piece of circular silver, 17.9millimeters in diameter. And you find it. In the grimy recesses of said couch, between used condoms and old gum and discarded cigarette butts, a single 2005mintage figure, US dime. Surely your tiresome crusade has ended. For the holly land (said beverage dispenser) is in the same room!

A number of beverages are yours with the press of a button, iced tea, soda, green tea, anything you could possibly want. But you want just God's gift toman. A mere bottle of water. You insert the first of what should be a series of coins.



And the *#+%% falls through the machine undisturbed straight to the 'return change' slot. FML.







What did I do in a past life to deserve this? I just want to drink, I'll PAYPAL 100.00 to who ever sends a SEALED bottle of water to thefallowing address.



21 University Drive, Pomona CA, 91768



*For those inquiring why don't I simply go to the local watering hole (drinking fountain) you must understand, the water here is poison. You can taste allkinds of metal and nasty %*!% in it.


%*!% %## broke %## CSU Universities.
 

mamaco

Banned
364
10
Joined May 3, 2009
Originally Posted by Jumpshot

- you misspelled "following"
- cliffnotes

the cliff notes are in bold, address is underneath.

-and you mistyped "cliff notes"
Originally Posted by Food4Thgt

You are not about to send 100 dollars to anyone for any bottle of water....

Truth.
Originally Posted by Spot Rusherz

You cant walk to the store?

or get a friend to get you some water?

It's 7:37 in the morning.
 

mamaco

Banned
364
10
Joined May 3, 2009
When I say it's poison I mean it. I've been all over the US and the only place with worse tap water that I've experienced is Tampa Fl. It's notso much the taste, I'm just not trying to yack all over the hallway floor.
 
7,053
1,136
Joined Dec 14, 2005
damn son, by the time water gets to you you would have quenched your thirst by then. You dont have a diner you can go to, or someone down the hall with wateror something
 
2,141
30
Joined Mar 2, 2009
Why don't you use the $100 for the bottle of water at a store? And like someone else said, by the time the water got to you - you'd already havequenched your thirst.
 
2,261
28
Joined Aug 1, 2005
nice story.....and its obvious he is not hungover....no one has that much drive and cleaver wording when they are hung over....
 
1,486
59
Joined Dec 10, 2008
Originally Posted by Mamaco

When I say it's poison I mean it. I've been all over the US and the only place with worse tap water that I've experienced is Tampa Fl. It's not so much the taste, I'm just not trying to yack all over the hallway floor.
i swear this man is telling the truth. Tampa has the most disgusting water, you can't even make like kool-aid with it cause you still want to yack.
 
14,882
2,063
Joined Apr 4, 2006
you cant do to one of the dining halls and use the dispensable water machine when it opens?
 

oh you mad

Supporter
12,829
4,658
Joined Oct 28, 2007
You @ Cal Poly? Paypal me the $ and Ill be there in 15 mins with an ice cold 12pack of bottle water
 
2,127
232
Joined May 31, 2008
Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

You @ Cal Poly? Paypal me the $ and Ill be there in 15 mins with an ice cold 12pack of bottle water
What are you going to be doing for the other four minutes?
 
5,665
10
Joined May 13, 2008
Originally Posted by Angryostrich

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

You @ Cal Poly? Paypal me the $ and Ill be there in 15 mins with an ice cold 12pack of bottle water
What are you going to be doing for the other four minutes?
prep for intercourse ?
 

mamaco

Banned
364
10
Joined May 3, 2009
Originally Posted by CTzFresh3st

You couldnt find $1.50 but you would paypal somebody $100 for a bottle of water?

Read the story bo, I came up on $1.55
Originally Posted by oidreez

you cant do to one of the dining halls and use the dispensable water machine when it opens?

Dining halls open at 11 on weekends, like I said, broke %%% CSU. I took the L and tried to sleep for a couple hours, more or less successfully. I just bought20.00 worth of ice cold drinks.
Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

You @ Cal Poly? Paypal me the $ and Ill be there in 15 mins with an ice cold 12pack of bottle water

$+@@ if you had brought me a case of them Kirkland joints I probably would have gave you 25.00
 
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