mamaco
Banned
- May 3, 2009
- 364
- 10
Being ridiculously hungover and miserable, all you want is an ice cold Aquafina from the vending machine outside your dorm. You're poor, you're astruggling college student barely managing to make ends meet. You know all you need is 1.50 to satisfy your deepest desires. You look in your wallet and thereare absolutely zero dollars. You look through your various pairs of pants and manage to accumulate a grand total of ¢ 45. FML.
You go through your roommates belongings and acquire an additional dollar in quarters. Salvation, you can almost taste the ice cold water running down yourthroat (no BNFL). You need just five more cents. A nickel, something you take for granted everyday as you throw it in the 'tip jar' or worse yet in thetrash, having no desire to carry the burden of 'loose change.' FML.
You spend 20 minutes turning your 10' x 12' cubicle upside down looking for the final piece to the puzzle. You find nothing. Weak, defeated, deliriousfrom thirst, you sit on the floor contemplating death, for the thought of going without liquid any longer is not fathomable. Alas! If there is a God, thansurely what pity he may feel, has been deposited in the recesses of a couch, amongst many, scattered throughout a deserted common ground. You make your way tothe lobby, crawling on all fourths in a terrible physical state. Still drunk from last nights wine, hungover and exhausted from the mornings toils, deprived ofsleep, you literally crawl to the last glistening beacon of hope.
Upon your arrival, a sudden rush of energy overcomes you. You toss pillows and comforters aside, determined to find a piece of circular silver, 17.9millimeters in diameter. And you find it. In the grimy recesses of said couch, between used condoms and old gum and discarded cigarette butts, a single 2005mintage figure, US dime. Surely your tiresome crusade has ended. For the holly land (said beverage dispenser) is in the same room!
A number of beverages are yours with the press of a button, iced tea, soda, green tea, anything you could possibly want. But you want just God's gift toman. A mere bottle of water. You insert the first of what should be a series of coins.
And the *#+%% falls through the machine undisturbed straight to the 'return change' slot. FML.
What did I do in a past life to deserve this? I just want to drink, I'll PAYPAL 100.00 to who ever sends a SEALED bottle of water to thefallowing address.
21 University Drive, Pomona CA, 91768
*For those inquiring why don't I simply go to the local watering hole (drinking fountain) you must understand, the water here is poison. You can taste allkinds of metal and nasty %*!% in it.
%*!% %## broke %## CSU Universities.
You go through your roommates belongings and acquire an additional dollar in quarters. Salvation, you can almost taste the ice cold water running down yourthroat (no BNFL). You need just five more cents. A nickel, something you take for granted everyday as you throw it in the 'tip jar' or worse yet in thetrash, having no desire to carry the burden of 'loose change.' FML.
You spend 20 minutes turning your 10' x 12' cubicle upside down looking for the final piece to the puzzle. You find nothing. Weak, defeated, deliriousfrom thirst, you sit on the floor contemplating death, for the thought of going without liquid any longer is not fathomable. Alas! If there is a God, thansurely what pity he may feel, has been deposited in the recesses of a couch, amongst many, scattered throughout a deserted common ground. You make your way tothe lobby, crawling on all fourths in a terrible physical state. Still drunk from last nights wine, hungover and exhausted from the mornings toils, deprived ofsleep, you literally crawl to the last glistening beacon of hope.
Upon your arrival, a sudden rush of energy overcomes you. You toss pillows and comforters aside, determined to find a piece of circular silver, 17.9millimeters in diameter. And you find it. In the grimy recesses of said couch, between used condoms and old gum and discarded cigarette butts, a single 2005mintage figure, US dime. Surely your tiresome crusade has ended. For the holly land (said beverage dispenser) is in the same room!
A number of beverages are yours with the press of a button, iced tea, soda, green tea, anything you could possibly want. But you want just God's gift toman. A mere bottle of water. You insert the first of what should be a series of coins.
And the *#+%% falls through the machine undisturbed straight to the 'return change' slot. FML.
What did I do in a past life to deserve this? I just want to drink, I'll PAYPAL 100.00 to who ever sends a SEALED bottle of water to thefallowing address.
21 University Drive, Pomona CA, 91768
*For those inquiring why don't I simply go to the local watering hole (drinking fountain) you must understand, the water here is poison. You can taste allkinds of metal and nasty %*!% in it.
%*!% %## broke %## CSU Universities.
