Have you ever lost a parent?

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I lost my grandma on February 1st this year she was 105. She was the best she took care of me ever since I was a baby. I know shes in heaven and I can’t wait to see her again in heaven.

God bless her man, that’s an incredibly special woman. I’m sorry to hear she passed but it sounds like you were lucky to have shared this life with her for as long as you did.
 

T0INE

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My condolences man.

All the best to your family through this difficult time.
 
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I'm so very sorry for your loss fam. I remember reading about your dad and my heart goes out to you and your family. Please know that NT is here for you. Happy to PM you if that's easier but my NT family helped me and we can help you too. As @Methodical Management said don't look at it like your dad lost his fight to illness but know that he lived the best life he could and he would be very proud of the lives that you've touched on this message board. I lost mom a little over a year ago and the grief is real. Take your time to grieve is all that I can tell you. There is absolutely no way to take a short cut through grief. It takes time and don't let anyone tell you any different. The first days and months were hardest for me and I found myself crying most of the time. Crying was actually very therapeutic for me. I still have days where I miss mom but when I think about it I didn't want her living like she was just to he here for me.

Man I actually have thought about you a lot throughout all of this because if I remember correctly the loss of your mom wasn’t too far off from when my dad was diagnosed.

It was almost as if I was experiencing some of your grief personally since I knew there was the potential that my family was about to experience something very similar.

I’m glad to hear your finding ways to cope with everything. You’re right about the therapeutic effect of crying. I’ve noticed that I’m good for a little while after letting it out until it eventually builds up again.
 

aepps20

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Man I actually have thought about you a lot throughout all of this because if I remember correctly the loss of your mom wasn’t too far off from when my dad was diagnosed.

It was almost as if I was experiencing some of your grief personally since I knew there was the potential that my family was about to experience something very similar.

I’m glad to hear your finding ways to cope with everything. You’re right about the therapeutic effect of crying. I’ve noticed that I’m good for a little while after letting it out until it eventually builds up again.
I really wanted things to be different for you fam but you didn't want your dad suffering anymore.
 
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God bless her man, that’s an incredibly special woman. I’m sorry to hear she passed but it sounds like you were lucky to have shared this life with her for as long as you did.
She was very special she loved the whole family she was our rock. thanks for your thoughtful words and I hope you are good too my g
 
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Condolences bruh! Lost my pops almost 5 yrs ago. Its gonna take time to be able to cope with it, but you truly never get over it in a way.
 

AIR J XIII

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Man, It can be rough bro...

My mom passed in Jan. '21, and I'd never experienced a close death before, so I had no prior experience to lean on. I cried more over a few weeks than I had in my 30+ years of life. And it was the same thing, I'd be okay, but then I would start thinking, or see a picture, and just fall apart.

Just take it one day at a time.
It gets easier.
Those memories and reflections will still come, but you will be able to handle it without breaking down.

One day at a time.
 
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I really wanted things to be different for you fam but you didn't want your dad suffering anymore.

Unfortunately I saw the same disease take my grandpa just as fast. I was hoping in the years since the advances in treatment would have yielded more success. It’s just a brutal sickness.
 
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Condolences bruh! Lost my pops almost 5 yrs ago. Its gonna take time to be able to cope with it, but you truly never get over it in a way.

I’m sorry for your loss man. I’m gonna do like others in here have said and take it one day at a time but not be afraid to let it out when I need to.
 

RustyShackleford

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Sorry for your loss getback getback

I lost my dad in 2008. It was one of the hardest periods of my life, cried myself to sleep for what felt like months, but with the support of friends and family I was able to get through it

The only advice I could have is that let your loved ones help you get through this time.

While it might seem like a long way in the future, a time will come when you think of your dad and not get sad. But his memory and the memory of the times you guys shared together will bring a smile to your face.

You're a good dude, I'm certain your dad was proud of you, and I wish you and your family all the best
 
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I’m so sorry for your loss fam…

I lost my dad 11 years ago and my mom this past new years. The void in my heart will never be filled but I try my best to move forward and live life. It’s hard man, you never really get over it... It just kind of transforms and you carry it differently. Unfortunately I had to see both of my parents suffer through it all. My dad over the course of 2 years and my mom in the span of 6 months. The last thing you want to see is them suffering.

My nt fam was there for me and I know we‘ll be there for you. I’ll never forget the people who took the time to post something or send me a message, especially aepps20 aepps20 because of what he had gone through recently with the loss of his mom.

I saw a really beautiful interview of Andrew Garfield and in it he says the grief is all the unexpressed love he didn’t get to tell his mom. It truly changed the way I thought about grief and I think he’s right.

If you ever need anything at all please don’t hesitate to reach out man.
 

lobotomybeats

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getback getback , I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a parent yet, but my kids have. Truthfully, there isn't a textbook to help guide you through these times. Losing my wife rattled us to the core. The only advice I can give is to keep honoring your dad. Remember him. Talk about him. Shout about all that he means to you. Grief is just something you have to wade through. Running through it doesn't serve anyone well. Mire in it if you feel you need to. Break down when you need to. Yell when you need to. Don't ever doubt yourself when you think life isn't fair. It's not. Be there for others that are also trying to keep their head above water. Smile when you can. But most importantly, never minimalize what you are going through. How you fare now will determine how you manage later.

My parents are older and I am constantly on high alert. I feel for you. I am here if you need anything.
 

AZwildcats

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My condolences OP, I don’t think anything can prepare you for something like that. Wish you and your family the best
 
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I haven't yet but I do have a parent with not long left so I know it's coming.

Must be hell to go through. Keep your chin up pal.
 
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People grieve in their own ways. So what works for someone might not work for you and vice versa. I would encourage you to be patient with yourself and understanding and if you're upset. Be upset if you're angry, be angry and what I would caution against is don't let anything in your grief cause further harm for yourself or loved ones. If you find yourself getting too angry, maybe seek some help. You feel yourself not wanting to do anything and lack the motivation or feeling depressed. See some help. You know what I'm saying

I was 15 when my dad died. I knew he was going to die. He had cancer and he wasn't getting better. I was a little disconnected at the time cuz I was so young so I don't think it really hit me and I think it's so processing it even now in my 30s. I know it affected my older brothers in very different ways. I think all three of us should have gone to therapy after it happened. I think it would have helped us tremendously so that's something I'll suggest cuz I wish I would have done it when I was younger and I wish my brother could have done it. Just talk to a counselor or talk to a professional about my grief

That made me grow up a lot. You know seeing the strongest person you knew your hero need help with basic things. Seeing how much it was hard for him, there was a lot of really hard moments. I try to think of the good memories and the positive things and I don't try to remember him sick but he had so much strength when he was sick where I kind of say everyone's different. You know you might think it's better that they're knots and pain anymore. They're in a better place. You might say you know you're fortunate for the good years that you did have with them. Everyone copes and everyone rationalizes in their own way

The one thing I will say about grief is it will get easier and you will feel okay but what I wish for myself and for anyone going through grief as I would have handled it better address my issues surrounding it better not close myself off as much and I just wish I could have processed it better. I think most of us will be okay but it's just how long does it take to get there and are you 100% or are you just okay? And I think I'm just okay

Sorry if that's rambling or any parts? Don't make sense. It's late but I wanted to reply to this cuz I saw it in the sports forum so thanks to whoever link that hit the PMs. If you need you'll be okay brother
 
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Sorry to hear that getback getback ..... It's the day we all dread so prayers to you and your family.

When I envision my own parents passing i'm rarely able to see past the funeral proceedings... Probably cause I don't want to face that void some of you guys are speaking of.

Has anybody here used psychedelics therapeutically after the passing of a parent??
 

darthska

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I'm sorry to hear this, my friend.

The thing that hurts the most about death is the permanence of it. For me, it helps to know that a good life never literally ends. A good life impacts those around them in a positive way, and that positive impact doesn't end when they do.

The fact that you're taking this so hard, it sounds like your father had a positive impact.

May his body Rest In Peace, but his positive impact will live on.

That hasn't died. That won't ever die.

-foe
 
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My condolences. May Allah accept his deeds and have mercy on his soul.

You truly never get over a loss, you just learn to live with it.

My father passed in 2020, didn't think it would impact me because the of the dynamic of our relationship. But, he's still my father. Hit me hard later that year.

Take as much time you need to grieve.
 
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Sorry for your loss.

My father passed away when I was 6, so an entirely dynamic so I can’t really answer on the grieving process as I was so young .

I'm sorry to hear you had to live the majority of your life without your dad. That's really young to lose a parent. I hope you have some memories of him and were able to lean on other family members and his friends to learn more about him.
 
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Sorry to hear about your loss.

Man, You'll never get over it man. Just being honest with you.

Random stuff will have you breaking down out of nowhere.

Appreciate the honesty. I lost a lot of friends to drugs and violence at a young age and I still get those random reminders that make me go down memory lane and it still gets me emotional.
 
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Truly sorry to hear bro, I know it was a hard fight. The proximity of it alone is heavy, can't imagine when it happens.

It's really a terrible sickness. The doctors, nurses, and all hospital staff that have to work with patients suffering from cancer (and other terminal sicknesses) everyday are truly built different.
 
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