Is it natural for men to have more than one mate?

[deletedelete]

no. humans are not necessarily "programmed" to be monogamous, like many bird species are. However, humans are special animals because we have developed emotions, civilizations, society, and a sense of morality. We are a social and rational creature. We are no longer rigidly bound to animalistic urges and survival instincts; we have the ability/gift to transcend these urges (I guess freud would call this the id ego superego whatever). When men see a woman that they are attracted to, societal conditioning of behavior or ethics has taught us that the average man does not rape her (usually, you know), because it's wrong (punishment is a deterrent also, but I'd argue that most people know that it is wrong).

The same goes for monogamy. Not everyone is into monogamy, and i get it- We have these urges. The great part is that these urges don't control us, we can transcend these urges or wield them in a healthy way. Don't succumb to these urges. Or, don't succumb to a relationship. Or, end a relationship if you really want to sleep with other people. Or, be honest with yourself and partner and say "hey, let's be polyamorous". Make the decision that is right for you.

The problem is when people say "I couldnt help it i have these urges". Yes you can help it. You are not a wildebeast. You are a human being, you have a conscience, and you are not ostensibly braindead. Learn how to control yourself or act like an adult. Stop blaming your behavior on your hormones.

 

[az102]

    A lot of you are performing mental gymnastics trying to convince yourselves cheating is okay. Every man no matter his level of integrity finds himself attracted to other women. That is what is natural. That doesn't mean you should go around sleeping with other women. So what if you see it in nature. Animals kill each other for territory. Lions kill each other for claims to food. Is it okay for someone to kill you for what you have just cause they have the desire for it? As animals we have impulses and desires, acting on them means you have poor self control. Nothing more.

   You guys don't wanna be honest with the women you are with cause you don't wanna die alone. You wanna have your cake and eat it too. Btw society doesn't care if that's how you wanna live. What most people have a problem with is when you tell them that you want to be their one and only and then you start messing around. Do I really have to explain why that gets people bent out of shape?

 

[heliumclinton]

Is it natural to want to have sex with other women? yes

Want to be in more than one emotional relationship at the same time? No

IMO

 

[Kaleo15]

    A lot of you are performing mental gymnastics trying to convince yourselves cheating is okay. Every man no matter his level of integrity finds himself attracted to other women. That is what is natural. That doesn't mean you should go around sleeping with other women. So what if you see it in nature. Animals kill each other for territory. Lions kill each other for claims to food. Is it okay for someone to kill you for what you have just cause they have the desire for it? As animals we have impulses and desires, acting on them means you have poor self control. Nothing more.

   You guys don't wanna be honest with the women you are with cause you don't wanna die alone. You wanna have your cake and eat it too. Btw society doesn't care if that's how you wanna live. What most people have a problem with is when you tell them that you want to be their one and only and then you start messing around. Do I really have to explain why that gets people bent out of shape?

Preach brother!

 

[rook]

I look at it like this. No matter how bad or sexy your girl is, somewhere out there, their is going to be someone more attractive. Wether is be physically, emotionally, etc.

You can be inlove with the THOUGHT of a person, but not the actual person. I think thats why so many relationships end up ****** up because people just can't control there emotions when it comes to that.

For ex. You work at a job where you're around alot of women. Office job for ex. You're married but its always the one chick that you just connect with. (Similar to the office with Jim and Pam). You know its wrong to try and do something with her but you know deep down you have feelings for her. You still love your wife to death but we're still imperfect humans and you fall inlove with the small things the other chick does. Doesn't mean you love her more than your wife, but you love the things your wife doesn't do.

 

[Kaleo15]

Sounds like the 80/20 rule.

 

[Tony $now]

So if your girl is the one contemplating cheating on you, would y'all still feel like it's justified? Some of the replies are comedy. Many if not all of you would be butt hurt if you found out your significant other was getting bigger, and better D from another man. Stop fronting, the double standards are lame. This isn't the 1940s. If you think women don't have the same urges as us, you are lying to your self. It's about self control period.

I'm around bad women all day long. Panties get thrown all the time. I never act on. Been with my wife 7 years and together 11, never cheated. Couldn't risk not sleeping under the same roof as my kids for no chick and I genuinely love my wife. Sex is a temporary escape. Not worth destroying a home for new "box". Women are attracted to what they can't have. If a chick gives you play, guess what, the other dude she saw earlier probably got the same thing. Sometimes as men, no matter social or economical class we gas ourself up too much.