Kevin Samuels Thread

[p0tat0 5alad]

I feel like the dudes that are saying they wouldn't be with someone overweight are being insincere with their reasonings. If a woman you find attractive has her own place, no kids, a degree and a steady job and was interested in you, you'd turn her down because she's overweight?

If so, I feel like it's less to do with her and more to do with your insecurities and/or wanting to maintain appearances. Just keep it 100 and don't make up excuses as if an overweight woman has to be driven to lose weight above all her other ambitions (ie - Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Octavia Spencer, Nicole Byer, all the big mommas in your life, etc.)

 

[marikomorose]

Man are you really to man trying manipulatively guilt ppl into believing that there's something wrong w/ them for not liking like fat girls?

 

[Based Jesus]

Everyone has physical standards. As long as they're realistic there's nothing wrong with having them.
Not being attracted to everyone isn't a sign of insecurity or an act of oppression.

 

[p0tat0 5alad]

I know people feel strongly about weight so I was just asking where does someone draw the line if a potential partner checks all but one of their boxes? Not seeing how that is manipulative.

 

[Based Jesus]

The very first box EVERYONE has to check is physical attraction. Whenever people talk about what they look for in a partner a base level of attraction is always implied. It's why no one ever bothers to include "attractive" in their list of wants. It's pointless. Even when someones says "Looks don't matter, I just want someone that's ____", they just mean that over a certain level of attractiveness, personality matters more. I don't care if you have 4 degrees, a 6 figure salary and shelter homeless puppies, if I'm not attracted to you, I'm not attracted to you. I still respect you as a human being though, as long as you're respectful towards me as well. I don't want you to change for me either, I'm nobody, do it for yourself.

 

[fluid hips]

Weight is an important metric in partner selection on both sides. I don’t like big women. Automatic deal breaker

Yea who told these fat white girls that all black guys want them

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I feel like the dudes that are saying they wouldn't be with someone overweight are being insincere with their reasonings. If a woman you find attractive has her own place, no kids, a degree and a steady job and was interested in you, you'd turn her down because she's overweight?

If so, I feel like it's less to do with her and more to do with your insecurities and/or wanting to maintain appearances. Just keep it 100 and don't make up excuses as if an overweight woman has to be driven to lose weight above all her other ambitions (ie - Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Octavia Spencer, Nicole Byer, all the big mommas in your life, etc.)

Great SN/Content correlationals.

 

[fac3 tak30v312]

I feel like the dudes that are saying they wouldn't be with someone overweight are being insincere with their reasonings. If a woman you find attractive has her own place, no kids, a degree and a steady job and was interested in you, you'd turn her down because she's overweight?

If so, I feel like it's less to do with her and more to do with your insecurities and/or wanting to maintain appearances. Just keep it 100 and don't make up excuses as if an overweight woman has to be driven to lose weight above all her other ambitions (ie - Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Octavia Spencer, Nicole Byer, all the big mommas in your life, etc.)

Tired of thinking like this.. these are the extremes in terms of wealth and fame. What if I want to live until i'm 100 like my ancestors.. You ever think no one in my family that's overweight lived past 60.. Now you have dudes in the dating seen caping hard trying to make other guys do what makes THEM feel comfortable.

Have dudes activity telling me.. ME that I should marry some obese woman to make them feel comfortable and less insecure with theirs.. I swear sometimes..

 

[WASHED KING]

I know people feel strongly about weight so I was just asking where does someone draw the line if a potential partner checks all but one of their boxes? Not seeing how that is manipulative.

Im just keeping it a stack when I say if she’s overweight I will never get to know her on a romantic level enough to find out that she checks all the boxes.

 

[ICE CITY CF]

Aye KHUFU I just seen you say in another thread you've been married to the same woman for 20+ years.

Is that true?

No shade but I do think that's an interesting layer to the onion.

 

[storm2006]

Looks like the thread has taken another turn. I guess what I’m confused about is unless she’s your family or current love interest, why do y’all care who the next man dates? Especially when it’s a man who you don’t have a close, personal relationship with? Does it really matter if she’s hot, ugly, tall, short, funny, boring, smart, dumb, fat, skinny, busty with mass, built like a surfboard etc.? As long as the relationship isn’t emotionally or physically abusive and both parties are happy then who cares?

We all know that relationships and people are complex as hell. You like what you like. As long as you find a partner that allows you to be yourself and you can both elevate each other in the confines of a healthy relationship then everything else is in the noise. Shouldn’t matter what other people say.

 

[Grine]

Who in here dating or married to someone consider NT thick?

That’s the real question.

All those folks in here trying to guilt trip people for physical attraction or preference - let’s see if you follow suit.

I come from a family of tall and big women. Grandmother was 6’0 and over $200. And most
Louisiana women are on the thicker side - so it doesn’t bother me - but for people to say it’s wrong to have preferences - I’m just curious what’s was your mate stats initially meeting them.

Now I will say, you do have to be accountable for the same attraction for yourself as you would want for her. Meaning you need to try your best to remain desirable as you did when you first met him/her.

 

[nyc game]

You just might. But I think that’s the problem already. Colorism does influence those ratings.

How do you determine what's colorist and what's just preference?

 

[nyc game]

The whole beauty standard in these industries, including slavery, was created to make white people comfortable. Black women were placed at the bottom, for obvious reasons. You even have other ethnic groups who think that it is okay, even funny, to talk to Black women like this.....no regard, no respect.

You do realize black women rate you on a number of factors right? THey don't care that you're skin color is dark. You might be shorter than a guy who's 6ft, you might be uglier than another NT'er, you might be broker than another guy. What If I told you ratings has nothing to do with slavery in today's society for the most part, I see you're focused on Black issues, and that seems to be your pin point focus but everything is not about your skin color, and if you feel that it is, then I guess that's just something you have to work out.

 

[solewoman]

How do you determine what's colorist and what's just preference?

great question

 

[gotjz]

Another thing is availability of options lol... if a man has all women available to him, he’s not picking a whale point blank (unless it’s fetishized). Most times she wouldn’t even be acceptable thick, and if so right on the cusp of “slim thick”. If options are scarce then he’ll take what he can get.

 

[nyc game]

I feel like the dudes that are saying they wouldn't be with someone overweight are being insincere with their reasonings. If a woman you find attractive has her own place, no kids, a degree and a steady job and was interested in you, you'd turn her down because she's overweight?

If so, I feel like it's less to do with her and more to do with your insecurities and/or wanting to maintain appearances. Just keep it 100 and don't make up excuses as if an overweight woman has to be driven to lose weight above all her other ambitions (ie - Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Octavia Spencer, Nicole Byer, all the big mommas in your life, etc.)

Everyone doesn't have the same requirements in a mate, a lot of rich men do not care about a woman's money, a possessions. Why? Because they have it already. It would make more sense if a guy who isn't accomplished asked for a woman who has a home and makes a lot of money.

However, those relationships tend to not work out because the woman loses respect for such a guy and feels she's being used or she wants control of the relationship and the guy ends up getting tired of being imasculated.

I've seen rich guys go out with Hooter waitresses and get women from other countries, they are not bound to the women in their area, community, country, social media, etc. They have options, this is what Kevin is saying and this is what people with not as many options don't want to hear.

For the most part women are the ones who think their accomplishments and status should be an attraction for men, they are the ones who have dreams of being in a "power couple", men usually want cooperation, respect and someone they can find attractive enough to want to sleep with. This is the bare minimum.

 

[ahat]

This thread is hilarious

 

[Present]

How do you determine what's colorist and what's just preference?

FWIW:

Went to Hampton University.

On the Yard talking in a group (half male / half female).

One of the young ladies sees a darker skinned brother walk past and makes a comment.

Her friend says: "I like my men light, bright, and close to white."

This is an HBCU.

An HBCU that at one time engaged in "paper bag tests"... and later less obvious but much more dubious methods of prejudice / discrimination that continue to this day.

Colorism is defined as:

"prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group."

While I agree that young lady had every right to like what she liked, I in turn have every right to dislike her based on what she said.

A letter from 1928:

As my parents would say: "I don't want anyone who doesn't want me."

 

[KHUFU]

You do realize black women rate you on a number of factors right? THey don't care that you're skin color is dark. You might be shorter than a guy who's 6ft, you might be uglier than another NT'er, you might be broker than another guy. What If I told you ratings has nothing to do with slavery in today's society for the most part, I see you're focused on Black issues, and that seems to be your pin point focus but everything is not about your skin color, and if you feel that it is, then I guess that's just something you have to work out.

How can I argue with THAT reasoning?!

Are you Black?

 

[KHUFU]

Aye KHUFU I just seen you say in another thread you've been married to the same woman for 20+ years.

Is that true?

No shade but I do think that's an interesting layer to the onion.

Explain. Why would it add another layer?

 

[KHUFU]

Who in here dating or married to someone consider NT thick?

That’s the real question.

All those folks in here trying to guilt trip people for physical attraction or preference - let’s see if you follow suit.

I come from a family of tall and big women. Grandmother was 6’0 and over $200. And most
Louisiana women are on the thicker side - so it doesn’t bother me - but for people to say it’s wrong to have preferences - I’m just curious what’s was your mate stats initially meeting them.

Now I will say, you do have to be accountable for the same attraction for yourself as you would want for her. Meaning you need to try your best to remain desirable as you did when you first met him/her.

This.

 

[paulwest1985]

I feel like the dudes that are saying they wouldn't be with someone overweight are being insincere with their reasonings. If a woman you find attractive has her own place, no kids, a degree and a steady job and was interested in you, you'd turn her down because she's overweight?

If so, I feel like it's less to do with her and more to do with your insecurities and/or wanting to maintain appearances. Just keep it 100 and don't make up excuses as if an overweight woman has to be driven to lose weight above all her other ambitions (ie - Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Octavia Spencer, Nicole Byer, all the big mommas in your life, etc.)

This is not a fair assessment at all. If a man doesn't prefer big women you can't force him to be attracted to her. Period. Has nothing to do with being insecure. It's basic biology. And throw all those other factors out the window too ( having her own place, her own money, etc...) because it doesn't matter. As Kevin Samuels always says a woman's career and education doesn't add to her sexual market value.

 

[Coromanti]

Requirements?! Do you OWN these women? Do these women OWE you something?

Your comment reeks of entitlement.

If you look at art throughout the history of the world, tastes in regard to shape and beauty has changed over time. It wasn't until the emergence of the abrahamic faiths conquering throughout the world, have women become de sexualized, less curvaceous. A zaftig figure was the standard of femininity in certain part of the world before the crusades, and we do know that in certain countries in Africa, they'd worry about a woman if she appeared too thin.

So to answer your question, yes. With women in control of their own imagery, women would then be able to control the narrative on what THEY deem to be attractive. Society would indeed be conditioned differently.

I don’t understand the logic. If a woman thinks being STYLE A is attractive but I’m not attracted to STYLE A who is stopping her from remaining STYLE A? I don’t think anyone is. However let’s say this woman wants specifically my attention/for me to be attracted to her, she would have to change her style to what I like which for this example is STYLE B. I haven’t forced her to change. She is not required to be attractive for me. But if she wants the result: “Coromanti’s Attraction” then she will change to get it.


Also, I’m not understanding your correlation between Abrahamic religions and changing beauty standards.


Example: Mauritania is a country where larger women are the beauty standard. To the point where young girls are force fed to gain weight so they will be considered attractive. They are also predominantly a Muslim country. Islam is an Abrahamic religion. I think this contradicts your point.

Perception of Beauty in Mauritania: Big is Beautiful

Western celebrities push the notion that thin is always in. However, beauty in Mauritania is held to, “big is beautiful and stretch marks are sexy”.

www.borgenmagazine.com

Another example: The population of West Africa and its diaspora in Europa and the Americas have a preference for more curvaceous women.

Black/White Differences in Perceived Weight and Attractiveness among Overweight Women

Numerous studies have reported that Black women are more satisfied with their bodies than White women. The buffering hypothesis suggests that aspects of Black culture protect Black women against media ideals that promote a slender female body type; therefore, Black women are expected to exhibit...

www.hindawi.com

https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.3758/BF03337366.pdf

 

[p0tat0 5alad]

Tired of thinking like this.. these are the extremes in terms of wealth and fame. What if I want to live until i'm 100 like my ancestors.. You ever think no one in my family that's overweight lived past 60.. Now you have dudes in the dating seen caping hard trying to make other guys do what makes THEM feel comfortable

Have dudes activity telling me.. ME that I should marry some obese woman to make them feel comfortable and less insecure with theirs.. I swear sometimes..

re-read my post and tell me where I said obese. I've never said it but y'all keep jumping to the same extremes you claim I am.

I wasn't telling nobody how to live their lives, just seeing how malleable people's preferences were.