Life issues FTL

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FML I'm about to go eat some oxyclean and down it with bleach(clorox, of course).
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Chill man... dont off yourself... try to speak 2 a freind or something...

do or find something that makes you laugh or bring a smile...

and try to get some _____, hopefully this helps..
 
I would tell you to kill yourself. But you already beat me to it.
 
Thinking about the cow I call a girlfriend is depressing. I've been trying my best to break up with her but I dont wanna hurt her. Been with this whale for4 years now. I dont even think I know how to bag a chick anymore. FML!

Cliffnotes: I have a girlfriend who has put on madd weight over the past 2 years. This big %%*#% refuses to lose weight no matter how much i threaten to leaveher. Ive tried not calling her for days, but she just shows up at my house with a box of popeyes chicken and fries. I dont eat that @*%$, %%*#% **** my life!You make me look bad. Then she wants to wear dresses like its cool for her to wear dresses. I dunno what her problem is. I just wanna dump her but she mightcommit that. N if i dont dump her, then imma commit that. This is some *!#%@!%*. I'm watching the cardinals game on tv right now. some championship gamefrom lastyear. Imma go eat vaseline or something. She wants to go out @ 5 oclock to chill in the city. I dont wanna be seen in the daylight with her. :'(Someone pray for me. I dont think God loves me, hes a mean mean man for doing this to me.
 
1) It's not that serious
2) Chill out
3) If you are serious and can't chill out, remember, suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem

If this as bad as you're life gets, you're fine. PS: Repeat steps 1 and 2.
 
Originally Posted by br00klynrebel

Thinking about the cow I call a girlfriend is depressing. I've been trying my best to break up with her but I dont wanna hurt her. Been with this whale for 4 years now. I dont even think I know how to bag a chick anymore. FML!

Cliffnotes: I have a girlfriend who has put on madd weight over the past 2 years. This big %%*#% refuses to lose weight no matter how much i threaten to leave her. Ive tried not calling her for days, but she just shows up at my house with a box of popeyes chicken and fries. I dont eat that @*%$, %%*#% **** my life! You make me look bad. Then she wants to wear dresses like its cool for her to wear dresses. I dunno what her problem is. I just wanna dump her but she might commit that. N if i dont dump her, then imma commit that. This is some *!#%@!%*. I'm watching the cardinals game on tv right now. some championship game from lastyear. Imma go eat vaseline or something. She wants to go out @ 5 oclock to chill in the city. I dont wanna be seen in the daylight with her. :'( Someone pray for me. I dont think God loves me, hes a mean mean man for doing this to me.
just break it off man. you are obviously not happy with her.

and if shes ballooned up as much as you say, i can see why.

that kind of thing would irritate me.
 
****! NT is no place for cry babies (or maybe it is).

But for real though life is hard. Man up and handle it. Everything is what you make it.


-edit
How the in ....is your cliffnotes gonna be longer than your story?
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be a $#*#%%% man and step up to the plate, NTers kills me man
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tell her shes disgusts you
 
Either put your foot down and make her go to the gym or dump her !#$ if you cant take it...
 
my advice would be listen to:



and just chill lay back drink., pop some pills. just chill yoooo. tomorrows a new day.
 
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cant be serious...if so...go ahead and off yourself for sucking at life
 
Originally Posted by br00klynrebel

Thinking about the cow I call a girlfriend is depressing. I've been trying my best to break up with her but I dont wanna hurt her. Been with this whale for 4 years now. I dont even think I know how to bag a chick anymore. FML!

Cliffnotes: I have a girlfriend who has put on madd weight over the past 2 years. This big %%*#% refuses to lose weight no matter how much i threaten to leave her. Ive tried not calling her for days, but she just shows up at my house with a box of popeyes chicken and fries. I dont eat that @*%$, %%*#% **** my life! You make me look bad. Then she wants to wear dresses like its cool for her to wear dresses. I dunno what her problem is. I just wanna dump her but she might commit that. N if i dont dump her, then imma commit that. This is some *!#%@!%*. I'm watching the cardinals game on tv right now. some championship game from lastyear. Imma go eat vaseline or something. She wants to go out @ 5 oclock to chill in the city. I dont wanna be seen in the daylight with her. :'( Someone pray for me. I dont think God loves me, hes a mean mean man for doing this to me.
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, you sound stupid.
 
Originally Posted by MECKS

my advice would be listen to:



and just chill lay back drink., pop some pills. just chill yoooo. tomorrows a new day.


Those paramedics were terrible actors
 
Originally Posted by Mangudai954

Originally Posted by MECKS

my advice would be listen to:



and just chill lay back drink., pop some pills. just chill yoooo. tomorrows a new day.


Those paramedics were terrible actors

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true the white paramedics liek "come on we have to get to thehospital" *looks down at camera* *looks up*
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first off, take a couple of deep breaths and maybe you'll feel better.

2nd, talk to your girl. obviously she's gotten really comfortable and try to express some concern that you're scared for her health.

how long have you been together with your gf? do you love her?
 
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