LOL

Nelson C

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lol

Sorry if it's a repost, but I just found it and really did laugh outloud at some of these.
 
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Nelson C, I'm starstruck
 
"Son, no one gives a *#!% about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."
This one is great
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"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."
"Son, people will always try and $!%! you. Don't waste your life planning for a #%%+#!#, just be alert when your pants are down."
"We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of *!*%."
"Does anyone your age know how to comb their #%%+#!# hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started #%%+#!#."
"You're being #%%+#!# dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."
"Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his #%%+#!# food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do *!*% before YOU eat."
"A scar ain't 13 god damned stitches. I'll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we'll all laugh at your #%%+#!# 13 stitches together."

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I like this dude's "dad"

I knew the first post would be about Nelson C
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"Why the @#%! would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and +#$&'s starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, justfyi."

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"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."
"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."

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