Marriage issues mature advice please

[nikeairsncrispytees]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by 651akathePaul

Sounds like here love language is quality time and yours is words of affirmation. Cop the book 5 Love Languages and it'll all make sense. May even save your marriage.

srs

More info on this!...seems like my wife and I have a complete different understanding of what demonstrating love is, needless to say OP I lightweight know that feel...sucks when the person you love doesn't appreciate you the way you should...but anything can be solved with communication...you both need to open up your hearts and minds, have a conversation with no room for pride or BS.

My fiancée and I just got done reading this. Easy read and some really good thoughts in there. Definitely worth the read, and should definitely help. I'm not one for crappy self help type books, but we thought it would be interesting to read together and the reading wasn't so much interesting as the conversation that developed from the reading. Highly recommended.

 

[tee99]

Originally Posted by Lamak

It does sound like she is cheating. You should seek outside help from a counselor to see if the situation can be remedied. If not, time to sign dem papers.

I agree. I think OP either knows it or suspects it and has omitted it on purpose. If that is the case then why ask for help if you won't disclose all the important facts? I have been in the same shoes as OP, so have many of my friends, and the one thing we all had in common was that the @#@#$ was cheating/trying to. It happens all the time. A woman having too much time on her hands with no job and no needs (emotional or physical) being met by her man, there are too few conclusions why she would act out against you, despite you trying to hard to hold things down. If she truly wanted to spend more time with you she would get a job so that she could pull some of the weight and you would not have to work so much. I don't care what excuse people give, be it the economy or not, there is no excuse for why someone in healthy physical condition to not have a job. I got a buddy in Las Vegas (the state of Nevada has the highest unemployment rate in the nation) who only has a GED and he's been able to find work easy. 
This kinda reminds me of a saying my grandma used to tell me, "Idle hands are the devil's tools." 

best of luck to you bro. I'll be praying for you. 

 

[kadukukicks]

...it sounds like the problem is her...have her seek some help...if she isn't willing to do so for the marriage...then adios...

...i'm married and one of the hardest things is communication...but if the effort isn't there...and love can't hold it together...then let it go...good luck man...

 

[kickstart]

Tell her to get a job! Issue becomes a non-issue.

If not, I hope you guys had gotten a pre-nup. Because she's going to take half and get spousal support.

Best of luck.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Why did you even get married so young?

 

[jehul]

4U2NV wrote:

---

Was sup NT first off thanks for taking the time to read this,I am really going through a lot and have no one to talk to. Basically me and mywife of two years are having problems and might be headed to divorce courtbecause we can’t communicate and we think it might be best we go our separateways. Things started to go down hill last yr when she lost her job in January andI stated doing overtime the whole yr to make ends meet pay for some trips wehad already started paying for and brought my mom to stay for summer cause I didn’tsee her for four years. All this time I am working hard paying all the bills andother stuff you would think she would make it easy for me to come home after working10 to 10 each day, instead she would complain about us not spending time, whichI understood and apologized multiple times and asked her to hold me down whileim doing this for us cause as much she was missing me I was to missing heralso, so I would try to take her out on dates from time to time and do littlethings to show her I care so you would think she would take it easy on me atleast for showing effort but no all she does is nag and continue to complain.So I basically got sick of it because I don’t feel she is appreciative at all, Istill have to clean the house most times and cant even have a sandwich madeafter a hard days work. So we now have been arguing for months, she cant standme and I cant stand her, I would like to make things work and have asked herfor us to start over and try to work as a team but she insists that I should bethe one the make the first move to try to make things right but I refuse to lether sit and evaluate me on what im doing while she has nothing to give. Should Ibe the bigger man and try to make things work or keep it moving with my life,mature suggestions only. Sorry for the long read and please excuse my grammer

Grounds for early termination, broham.  

Either that or toughen up, put some bass in your voice, get your Vladimir Putin on and start rulin your household with an iron fist. 

Apologizing for putting food on the table 

  

 

[dunks r nice]

Originally Posted by NaturalyLight

so you're keeping everything together financially by working more, yet she's complaining? What does she do all day?

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

 

[da doc03]

Originally Posted by memphisboi55

Son can't even get a sandwich made when he come home from a hard days work though?

 

[richiecotite]

really though, it sounds like she's depressed.

you should try to get her to talk to a therapist once or twice.

 

[famenycity1]

If there is children involved do everything you can to make it work...counseling and talking.

But if this is been going on for 2 years and she is really that ridiculous then drop her and live your life homie

 

[mr everywhere]

Seek marriage counseling; stop apologizing for doing what you have to do for your family to eat. In counseling let her know how you feel...that you want a home cooked meal...a clean house..etc etc. If you dont see significant change asap.... its time to go to divorce court. That woman needs to be putting in 100% like you are...right now she seems to be putting in 15.2 % along with complaining which brings that percentage down dramatically. Good luck bro .

 

[Grine]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

I'm willing to bet half the advice on the last two pages are from people who aren't married. "just leave her you have no kids"

Werd.


Half of them never been married or even unemployed.  When you are unemployed you go into a deep depression and often don't want to do anything.  If anything this is the time for him to motivate his wife.  He's doing what is needed as a man in the marriage however, he's only looking at it from one side. Take from someone who been down this road.

 

[Grine]

Originally Posted by richiecotite

really though, it sounds like she's depressed.

you should try to get her to talk to a therapist once or twice.

Ding Ding Ding ... I said the same thing.

Listening to these fools...

The way she going to be thinking is that it's @**%$% up that he divorce me at the time I needed him the most.  Financially and emotionally

 

[thinkinfresh]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

I'm willing to bet half the advice on the last two pages are from people who aren't married. "just leave her you have no kids"

I am married, separated and working on a divorce. I rather be by myself then have to deal with BS, too much fish in the sea. OP you are under appreciated and will continue to be. Your wife has obviously lost all respect for you.

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by thinkinFRESH

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

I'm willing to bet half the advice on the last two pages are from people who aren't married. "just leave her you have no kids"

I am married, separated and working on a divorce. I rather be by myself then have to deal with BS, too much fish in the sea. OP you are under appreciated and will continue to be. Your wife has obviously lost all respect for you.

That must be an extremely emotionally draining situation, hope to never have to go through that.