Marriage with an Expiration date, Debate Vol. To Renew or not...

[hella handsome]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 so many broken spirits these days...

I'm saying. These dudes are on some *+@# these days. 

 

[hella handsome]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 so many broken spirits these days...

I'm saying. These dudes are on some *+@# these days. 

 

[proper english]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Next question OP. What about a Rookie Contract. Newlyweds, start out with a 3-year plan. So if a couple decides to opt-out before the contract expires, they could face a termination fee.

From the jump. You know just to prove they really know what they are getting into. Also there should be a Rookie Symposium forum where local couples go through group sessions/lectures from trained professionals that can help them get through the times.

Also, a once a 3-month session with a marriage counselor that is mandatory for each couple.

So if a couple decides to opt-out before the contract expires, they could face a termination fee.

DC bout to go buckwild w/o the NBA. 

 

[proper english]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Next question OP. What about a Rookie Contract. Newlyweds, start out with a 3-year plan. So if a couple decides to opt-out before the contract expires, they could face a termination fee.

From the jump. You know just to prove they really know what they are getting into. Also there should be a Rookie Symposium forum where local couples go through group sessions/lectures from trained professionals that can help them get through the times.

Also, a once a 3-month session with a marriage counselor that is mandatory for each couple.

So if a couple decides to opt-out before the contract expires, they could face a termination fee.

DC bout to go buckwild w/o the NBA. 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I really think it is a good idea. I think overall, there needs to be a better usage of marriage support groups by couples. There are so many programs out there for people to get assistance but folks don't take advantage of them. I think it would be in the best interest of the Nation (if they actually care about how high their divorce rates are) to promote these ideas more so people will know they are out there.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I really think it is a good idea. I think overall, there needs to be a better usage of marriage support groups by couples. There are so many programs out there for people to get assistance but folks don't take advantage of them. I think it would be in the best interest of the Nation (if they actually care about how high their divorce rates are) to promote these ideas more so people will know they are out there.

 

[kickstart]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

Agreed it goes both ways, but how many women would actually propose something like this versus men?




A more permanent version of dating, so why not just stay at that level? The idea defeats the purpose of marriage and devalues its importance. 

This doesn't really hold up too well, seeing as all of this should be thought out BEFORE marriage.

 In vows, it's for better or worse. Agreed on the not knowing everything bit. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It honestly sounds like you should just stay single/dating if you have this type of mentality. 

 

[kickstart]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

Agreed it goes both ways, but how many women would actually propose something like this versus men?




A more permanent version of dating, so why not just stay at that level? The idea defeats the purpose of marriage and devalues its importance. 

This doesn't really hold up too well, seeing as all of this should be thought out BEFORE marriage.

 In vows, it's for better or worse. Agreed on the not knowing everything bit. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It honestly sounds like you should just stay single/dating if you have this type of mentality. 

 

[desent]

I would like to state imo that this in no way shape or form would replace the current system, however, i feel it would be a great alternative in which people may choose which type of marriage they would like. Some will be for it, some will be against it.

It is expected. What i like about this idea is the fact that, as i stated before, people have a change of heart/mindset and what not. Now what i mean by that can go either way, the man or the female, so do not be one sided in a response stating that we are in favor of "leasing" woman.

I see this as something to alleviate the "pitfalls" of marriage. Cheaters, abusers, give incentive to upkeep themselves(some people complain about their spouse letting themselves go), the spouse magically changing and becoming a different person, the reality that it isn't what people imagined it would be, etc.

Is marriage perfect, no, is this idea perfect, no. But it would be a good alternative and a good CHOICE to give people with doubts that want to give it a try yet think something may differ from the gameplan.

Now i'm sure you will reply with something like " then why get married, or just get a divorce", well lets be honest, the way the system is set up now if hectic, and somethings may happen that are unforeseen in "forever". Some people may not have the will power to step up and say they are out, and this may help to open that door for them.

divorce rate is around 50%, there are couples that would get divorced if they could afford to, but they can't...

Times change...i would like to know if those who oppose this, are also against gay/lesbian marriage?? (The reason why i ask is because that is also viewed as "destroying" the sanctity of marriage..)

 

[desent]

I would like to state imo that this in no way shape or form would replace the current system, however, i feel it would be a great alternative in which people may choose which type of marriage they would like. Some will be for it, some will be against it.

It is expected. What i like about this idea is the fact that, as i stated before, people have a change of heart/mindset and what not. Now what i mean by that can go either way, the man or the female, so do not be one sided in a response stating that we are in favor of "leasing" woman.

I see this as something to alleviate the "pitfalls" of marriage. Cheaters, abusers, give incentive to upkeep themselves(some people complain about their spouse letting themselves go), the spouse magically changing and becoming a different person, the reality that it isn't what people imagined it would be, etc.

Is marriage perfect, no, is this idea perfect, no. But it would be a good alternative and a good CHOICE to give people with doubts that want to give it a try yet think something may differ from the gameplan.

Now i'm sure you will reply with something like " then why get married, or just get a divorce", well lets be honest, the way the system is set up now if hectic, and somethings may happen that are unforeseen in "forever". Some people may not have the will power to step up and say they are out, and this may help to open that door for them.

divorce rate is around 50%, there are couples that would get divorced if they could afford to, but they can't...

Times change...i would like to know if those who oppose this, are also against gay/lesbian marriage?? (The reason why i ask is because that is also viewed as "destroying" the sanctity of marriage..)

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by kickstart

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

Agreed it goes both ways, but how many women would actually propose something like this versus men?




A more permanent version of dating, so why not just stay at that level? The idea defeats the purpose of marriage and devalues its importance. 

This doesn't really hold up too well, seeing as all of this should be thought out BEFORE marriage.

 In vows, it's for better or worse. Agreed on the not knowing everything bit. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It honestly sounds like you should just stay single/dating if you have this type of mentality. 

I don't think this would ever work.  I just think it is an interesting concept if it was already in place.  I agree I don't see a couple ever being like ok lets get married for 7 years and then reevaluate.  Prenuptial agreements are hard enough to get together because they are seen as a sign of future division.  I believe vows are a religious context.  This is taking religion out of marriage basically and making it a contractual agreement between 2 parties.  

--------------------------------------------------------
I plan on it

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by kickstart

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

Agreed it goes both ways, but how many women would actually propose something like this versus men?




A more permanent version of dating, so why not just stay at that level? The idea defeats the purpose of marriage and devalues its importance. 

This doesn't really hold up too well, seeing as all of this should be thought out BEFORE marriage.

 In vows, it's for better or worse. Agreed on the not knowing everything bit. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It honestly sounds like you should just stay single/dating if you have this type of mentality. 

I don't think this would ever work.  I just think it is an interesting concept if it was already in place.  I agree I don't see a couple ever being like ok lets get married for 7 years and then reevaluate.  Prenuptial agreements are hard enough to get together because they are seen as a sign of future division.  I believe vows are a religious context.  This is taking religion out of marriage basically and making it a contractual agreement between 2 parties.  

--------------------------------------------------------
I plan on it

 

[crcballer55]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

If you can date someone for that long and not know everything about them then you're going about the process the wrong way.  Marriage is a lifelong contract made between two parties.  It was meant as a means of joining two families for a lifetime in order to build their lives together.  With the current system, we see each other as a stepping stone to something better.  Where has it gotten us?  Divorces that leave 75% of women in poverty afterwards.  Single parent homes with the mother left to support.  An education system that leaves the children in a deplorable state when they graduate because neither parent is willing/able to devote the needed time to working with their kids.

The best way to keep a good healthy relationship going is to love your partner through everything.  As the minister/justice of the peace says, "through sickness and health, richer for poorer".  Both parties have to make a conscious choice that divorce from one another is not an option (outside of infidelity or abuse). 

 

[crcballer55]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by kickstart

Why get married then?

You're in essence treating your spouse as an object that depreciates in value.

OP, explain how you came to this thinking, please.

A lot of people seem to be looking at this like men treating women like objects.  But this goes both ways.

It would literally be like a more permanent version of dating.  This is just an idea.  I think we all know this is basically a divorce, and if you don't believe in divorce then you are obviously religious and wouldn't ever want this.  But it is interesting to think about if this was the gold standard.  Like everyone is already doing it.

What would you do when the contract ends.  You love your wife but what if you don't think she loves you back....or she drops the bomb she doesn't want kids....or she just isn't the same person she was and let herself go mentally and physically.  You can date some one for 10 years and not know everything about them.  Kind of a get out of jail free card for him or her.  Would also be cool to add incentives lol but that's a different topic. 

If you can date someone for that long and not know everything about them then you're going about the process the wrong way.  Marriage is a lifelong contract made between two parties.  It was meant as a means of joining two families for a lifetime in order to build their lives together.  With the current system, we see each other as a stepping stone to something better.  Where has it gotten us?  Divorces that leave 75% of women in poverty afterwards.  Single parent homes with the mother left to support.  An education system that leaves the children in a deplorable state when they graduate because neither parent is willing/able to devote the needed time to working with their kids.

The best way to keep a good healthy relationship going is to love your partner through everything.  As the minister/justice of the peace says, "through sickness and health, richer for poorer".  Both parties have to make a conscious choice that divorce from one another is not an option (outside of infidelity or abuse). 

 

[ph3n0m3n0n]

This concept with incentives would make things better for those couples who do love each other but can't stand to commit for life.

Just make sure to keep the life option at the bottom.

Let's get this idea pushed to the top!

 

[ph3n0m3n0n]

This concept with incentives would make things better for those couples who do love each other but can't stand to commit for life.

Just make sure to keep the life option at the bottom.

Let's get this idea pushed to the top!

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by remix

lol this is a bit too much thinkin..

way too much, but I'm very intrigued. Grabs popcorn

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by remix

lol this is a bit too much thinkin..

way too much, but I'm very intrigued. Grabs popcorn

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by hella handsome

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 so many broken spirits these days...

I'm saying. These dudes are on some *+@# these days. 

Why? Because people want to see less and less people get divorced? That is why people are on some different stuff? Because people think the current system needs to be looked at again to coincide with the change of times? Hmm, interesting.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by hella handsome

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 so many broken spirits these days...

I'm saying. These dudes are on some *+@# these days. 

Why? Because people want to see less and less people get divorced? That is why people are on some different stuff? Because people think the current system needs to be looked at again to coincide with the change of times? Hmm, interesting.

 

[memphisboi55]

Sounds interesting...

 

[memphisboi55]

Sounds interesting...

 

[sloanboy]

how bout just not getting married............

 

[sloanboy]

how bout just not getting married............

 

[hella handsome]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by hella handsome

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 so many broken spirits these days...

I'm saying. These dudes are on some *+@# these days. 

Why? Because people want to see less and less people get divorced? That is why people are on some different stuff? Because people think the current system needs to be looked at again to coincide with the change of times? Hmm, interesting.

Not at all, I stated in the last thread about marriage that marriage isn't for everyone. 
But these marriage threads are becoming just as bad as the religion threads. This thread is about a marriage with an expiration date, how does that differ from getting a divorce? 

If you take the logic from everyone in the last thread, and combine it with the logic of this thread, you can come to the conclusion that the principles of marriage are "obsolete" within this current generation. 

So why does the system need to be changed to coincide with the change of times? I don't see why it should be. If you're not about that life, then don't get #%*%%#+ married. Don't try to bend the rules because you can't handle it. It's like everyone is trying to come up with a reason for why people shouldn't get married, or stay married.