Married/Engaged NTers, how much did you spend on an engagement ring?

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

In my last relationship we were at the stage of advanced discussions regarding engagement. She was engaged in her prior relationship but when they broke it off, she (got to?) keep the ring. I can’t remember if it was paid for it or what she sold it for but it was $8K so that was my absolute baseline. I did a lot of research trying to figure out how much I should spend

What I remember is that most vividly the arbitrarily invented salary guideline which is usually 2 months salary created by De Beers, as @Comparison Ford mentioned, in the 80s (see OG as below). However in my research, I found various places quoting 1-3 months in a variety of net/gross income scenarios ie (1 month gross, 2 net, etc).

A brazy one I came across was that your ring should cost as much as the price you paid for your whip (sorry to all the M3 drivers on NT).

In general my thought process is that you’re going to have to wear this for the rest of your life and sure it can be upgraded but I’m not dropping trying to drop racks on something you don’t like.

What I’m curious about fellas is did you budget/save for the ring like you would any other singular? Or did you do a forward-looking financial assessment that considered all of OTHER the potential upfront marriage costs such as the wedding and honeymoon?

That’s not even taking to account debt, potentially buying a house, kids, etc.

links to the ring in ad? looks real nice

 

[storm2006]

links to the ring in ad? looks real nice

It’s from the 80s so I’m not sure how much luck you’d have finding that specific ring but it’s a De Beers ad therefore, I assume it’s their ring. Here is a link to their website;

Diamond Jewelry | Luxury Jewelry | De Beers US

De Beers is known for creating the finest diamond jewelry. Discover our iconic engagement and wedding rings, diamond earrings and other luxury jewelry.

www.debeers.com

 

[afkguy]

What I’m curious about fellas is did you budget/save for the ring like you would any other singular? Or did you do a forward-looking financial assessment that considered all of OTHER the potential upfront marriage costs such as the wedding and honeymoon?

That’s not even taking to account debt, potentially buying a house, kids, etc.

Yes, as always i try to saved up as much as i can before doing big purchases. In my case i was fortunate that my wife didn't want an actual wedding which makes my budgeting way easier. And seeing how the house market prices here in SoCAL are just insane.. we both agreed 110% that we need to buy ASAP instead of paying rent. Basically our first priority was buying a house.

 

[shyne14k]

$270 at local pawn shop. went to kay to get it appraised and they offered $600 . used that towards an upgrade there

 

[stuntman mike]

when i was shopping, i ended up looking at two stones. one was almost 2ct and the other was 2.5ct. both nice. got a good price by going through family of a close friend. talked to my wife and she said she didn’t want either because they were too big and probably too expensive (she didn’t know the price). i ended up buying the smaller of the two with cash and paid for it mostly by selling off a bunch of shoes. i know she loves it but she isn’t the type to waste money. if we were to do it all over today, she would probably insist on a lab-grown diamond or something much smaller. she doesn’t like “stuff”, she would rather spend the money making memories on a cool family trip or putting it towards the education for our kids.

(side note: i bought her an interlocking ring from cartier for christmas when we were dating. she put it on wrong one night and her finger swole up real bad and they cut it off. every time i talk about buying something else kinda fancy, she tells me to put the money into one of the 529s)

 

[s0lefunk]

What are the 4 C's?

Color, cut, clarity, carat weight

Set your budget. Then look around and see what that’ll get you at different spots. It’s less about getting the best diamond - because you aren’t - and more about the best value. As mentioned before, at some point there will be differences imperceptible to the naked eye. Or without having another diamond right there to compare.

 

[numbah1]

I spent $2000 on the engagement ring. Never again.
Next time there’ll be no ring, a courthouse wedding, and a spectacular honeymoon.

 

[pdino]

I
Wifey got the infinity stone, shoutout to Thanos

 

[fluid hips]

I spent $2000 on the engagement ring. Never again.
Next time there’ll be no ring, a courthouse wedding, and a spectacular honeymoon.

Story time

 

[jape]

whatever fits your budget.
you marrying someone shouldn't be a brash decision so you should start saving for it over a long period of time. there's no reason to rush in to it anyways. also, you have to factor in all the other things like the wedding band and the actual wedding, which will hit you hard.

 

[703 hwy]

Really considering the lab created route. Might have to just randomly throw it out and see what type of vibe she gives

If she doesn’t bite then the most I can do is like $4k. I gotta keep it realistic. It’s already a scam.

 

[waukeganwill]

engagement ring plus band, came out to 6.5k. Looking back I wish I didnt spend that much or got one of those manufactured diamonds. live and you learn, felt right at the time. but for that time in my life I really shouldnt have been spending that amount of money.

 

[plansb]

Really considering the lab created route. Might have to just randomly throw it out and see what type of vibe she gives

If she doesn’t bite then the most I can do is like $4k. I gotta keep it realistic. It’s already a scam.

Assuming she is not involved with the purchase, how would she ever even know? They are diamonds still..

 

[usabasketball08]

Assuming she is not involved with the purchase, how would she ever even know? They are diamonds still..

Maybe if she’s trying to get it insured, or she takes it to a jeweler for any reason? Idk man

 

[ill steelo]

What are the 4 C's?

Cut color clarity carat weight

Most important is cut. The single largest factor in how much the stone will dance in the light. The “ideal” proportions are 34.5 degree crown angle, 40.8 pavilion, depth 61%, table no larger than 57%, as listed on the grading report that comes with every stone. I put ideal in quotes because those figures aren’t approximate by any means. Get close to them & you can’t tell a difference

Next is clarity. SI1 is the lowest grade where the stone can still be “eye clean” a lot of these sites try to scare you into copping VVS by showing super zoomed in microscopic images. 9/10 if the imperfection isn’t a cloud, isn’t a dark mark, isnt right in the middle of the diamond, the human eye wouldn’t be able to see it on someone’s hand. For that reason anything above VS1 is a complete waste of money.

Next is color, you’ll wanna stay in the H - F range. Anything below H & you can see a tint, anything above F you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

Last is the carat weight. The important thing here is to look at the diameter of the diamond on the grading report. A lot of times the diamond was cut funky so it’ll weigh 2 carats but will have the diameter of a smaller carat and it will look smaller as a result. Vice versa for a diamond with a smaller carat weight but a larger diameter, it’ll look larger than the weight suggests. You can google the average diameters of each carat.

Add all that up & you can get a very nice, 1.5-2 carat lab diamond ring for $2-4k, completely indistinguishable from a “natural” diamond that would run you $10k+ for the same size & quality. Your woman would never know, the insurance companies would never know.

 

[numbah1]

Story time

I mean the whole industry is trash. I tell my friends not to buy into the system. Why spend all that money on a ring/wedding when you can have spend it more wisely? I’d rather put that money towards my retirement, or a house down payment or something. Any woman who’s not on that wavelength can get the boot. But to each his own.

 

[s-blaze]

I spent $2000 on the engagement ring. Never again.
Next time there’ll be no ring, a courthouse wedding, and a spectacular honeymoon.

Next time?

 

[Majorbread]

5k from james allen I think. Natural diamond like 1.1ct. color was lower on the scale IIRC (you can't tell in person), rose gold band so really didn't matter as much, clarity was good/above average but the cut was top tier.

Be sure to research the depth and table measurements to get the most like mentioned above. Cut > Everything else IMO thats the **** that make it dance when the light hit

 

[storm2006]

Cut color clarity carat weight

Most important is cut. The single largest factor in how much the stone will dance in the light. The “ideal” proportions are 34.5 degree crown angle, 40.8 pavilion, depth 61%, table no larger than 57%, as listed on the grading report that comes with every stone. I put ideal in quotes because those figures aren’t approximate by any means. Get close to them & you can’t tell a difference

Next is clarity. SI1 is the lowest grade where the stone can still be “eye clean” a lot of these sites try to scare you into copping VVS by showing super zoomed in microscopic images. 9/10 if the imperfection isn’t a cloud, isn’t a dark mark, isnt right in the middle of the diamond, the human eye wouldn’t be able to see it on someone’s hand. For that reason anything above VS1 is a complete waste of money.

Next is color, you’ll wanna stay in the H - F range. Anything below H & you can see a tint, anything above F you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

Last is the carat weight. The important thing here is to look at the diameter of the diamond on the grading report. A lot of times the diamond was cut funky so it’ll weigh 2 carats but will have the diameter of a smaller carat and it will look smaller as a result. Vice versa for a diamond with a smaller carat weight but a larger diameter, it’ll look larger than the weight suggests. You can google the average diameters of each carat.

Add all that up & you can get a very nice, 1.5-2 carat lab diamond ring for $2-4k, completely indistinguishable from a “natural” diamond that would run you $10k+ for the same size & quality. Your woman would never know, the insurance companies would never know.

Good looks, fam

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I mean the whole industry is trash. I tell my friends not to buy into the system. Why spend all that money on a ring/wedding when you can have spend it more wisely? I’d rather put that money towards my retirement, or a house down payment or something. Any woman who’s not on that wavelength can get the boot. But to each his own.

KHUFU THoughts on this?

In general, thoughts on the ring industry?

 

[flyerthandelta]

 

[aepps20]

when i was shopping, i ended up looking at two stones. one was almost 2ct and the other was 2.5ct. both nice. got a good price by going through family of a close friend. talked to my wife and she said she didn’t want either because they were too big and probably too expensive (she didn’t know the price). i ended up buying the smaller of the two with cash and paid for it mostly by selling off a bunch of shoes. i know she loves it but she isn’t the type to waste money. if we were to do it all over today, she would probably insist on a lab-grown diamond or something much smaller. she doesn’t like “stuff”, she would rather spend the money making memories on a cool family trip or putting it towards the education for our kids.

(side note: i bought her an interlocking ring from cartier for christmas when we were dating. she put it on wrong one night and her finger swole up real bad and they cut it off. every time i talk about buying something else kinda fancy, she tells me to put the money into one of the 529s)

BEAUTIFUL. Based on your posts not only do you have an AMAZING wife but she is a conservative which makes it even better. She is down with ACB not RBG.

 

[KHUFU]

KHUFU THoughts on this?

In general, thoughts on the ring industry?

It's garbage, the diamond industry. We all know how and why the industry was created, and that is because there was a time that diamonds had no social worth, until it became marketed as such. I bought my wife hers, simply because I could. I gave her another because of who she is to me, and what she has accomplished as a mother to our children. I could not ask for better daughters. So I had planned to renew our vows, and then covid hit.

I am fortunate to have some very smart people around me who taught me what to look for, and then where. Diamonds are indeed a scam, and then should not represent anything about the relationship that you are about to embark upon.

 

[Mark Antony]

Cut color clarity carat weight

Most important is cut. The single largest factor in how much the stone will dance in the light. The “ideal” proportions are 34.5 degree crown angle, 40.8 pavilion, depth 61%, table no larger than 57%, as listed on the grading report that comes with every stone. I put ideal in quotes because those figures aren’t approximate by any means. Get close to them & you can’t tell a difference

Next is clarity. SI1 is the lowest grade where the stone can still be “eye clean” a lot of these sites try to scare you into copping VVS by showing super zoomed in microscopic images. 9/10 if the imperfection isn’t a cloud, isn’t a dark mark, isnt right in the middle of the diamond, the human eye wouldn’t be able to see it on someone’s hand. For that reason anything above VS1 is a complete waste of money.

Next is color, you’ll wanna stay in the H - F range. Anything below H & you can see a tint, anything above F you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

Last is the carat weight. The important thing here is to look at the diameter of the diamond on the grading report. A lot of times the diamond was cut funky so it’ll weigh 2 carats but will have the diameter of a smaller carat and it will look smaller as a result. Vice versa for a diamond with a smaller carat weight but a larger diameter, it’ll look larger than the weight suggests. You can google the average diameters of each carat.

Add all that up & you can get a very nice, 1.5-2 carat lab diamond ring for $2-4k, completely indistinguishable from a “natural” diamond that would run you $10k+ for the same size & quality. Your woman would never know, the insurance companies would never know.

Where would you buy these? I imagine classic big jewelry stores would have an issue.

 

[ill steelo]

Where would you buy these? I imagine classic big jewelry stores would have an issue.

You can do a search on rarecarat.com

They have a very advanced search engine where you can put in all types of filters & find the exact stone you want.

James Allen is another one. They started investing heavily into lab diamonds a few years ago and have a large inventory.