Meditative vent/thought #5 - How we condition others and vice versa; how genuinity can't be handled

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

You ever notice how you make changes to who you are depending on who your talking to, your audience?  You ever notice what changes you don't make when your around people that you don't give a !*$! about, live with, can cut loose with?
I was at an event last week and I noticed how people put on a completely new mask when they feel a need to appease who their talking to or come of in a certain way in order to make themselves shine.  And i'm not talking about helping yourself move up the career ladder, meeting family of your girlfriends, or something formal like that.  Even that I find has it's own set of problems but I don't even want to get into that right now.

I knew these 2 girls from my class, when I'm chilling with each they say how much they despise the other, then they meetup and it's like they've been best friends the whole time....I actually busted out laughing when they hugged each other and I said "are you guys serious"...now they lowkey don't wanna talk to me because I put them on the spot but whatever...so damn funny how people need to act so that they don't get hated on or people don't talk !*$! about them.

The same thing probably goes for guys...i've actually done it back in the day but now i'm realizing it and i'm :smh'ing and 

 about it.

People are so apprehensive to be themselves and get taken the wrong way so they feel the need to fill these neutral "happy" roles and put on a show for each other.  It's crazy when you think about it...even crazier when you apply it to yourself and find the times you've done it.  While I can co-sign with the thought of not hating anyone...there's people in your life that your gonna naturally dislike...even giving them the opportunity to be friends with you...it's just life.  But why fake it in order to make it?  If it's not there why are you gonna be someone you know your not so that you can make a friend/get a girlfriend you really don't give 2 $#%%% about other than the aesthetics.

And what happens when someone who acts "fake" meets someone who's being genuine?  The genuine person usually gets $%@%#%! on for being boring, or being neutral, or not having any !*$! to talk about someone else.  Its a damn shame if you ask me...the popular opinion on this subject is that the genuine person who's really not catering to the crowd but is inherently nice or mean or whatever they truly are can't match the personality of the erratic, showy person which in turn makes them look less appealing (friendship, relationship wise)...but the way I look at it is that certain people are so real that others can't handle it because (my own theory it makes them uncomfortable knowing that these genuine people don't need to act a certain way to get attention and their comfortable in their own skin.

genuine people usually get put into this category of being too bland or too blunt and people don't like that...people want a buffer zone where even though they might say some stupid !*$! that goes against your virtues, you have to suck it up and smile and nod your head in agreement...what type of !*$! is that, really?

It's just a really unnecessary thing we have to deal with in life but I guess if it wasn't for the fakesters, how would you appreciate the real people...who go out everyday and are themselves despite getting $%@%#%! on; despite probably not being the center of attention; despite getting overlooked.  It's these kinds of people that really make the world go around while the in-genuine one's take the credit for it.

I mean there are times when we need to put our best foot forward in order to make a good impression...as contradictory as that sounds in regards to what i've written above...but what i'm really trying to target right now are the people in this world that fake their personality in order to be popular, or get some booty, or get something that they couldn't get if they were just themselves.

I might be all over the place with this one, but I swear i'm trying to take this somewhere

***disclaimer: these are just my opinions on this...totally open to debate

Edit: just re-read this and this is more of a vent than a meditative thought.

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

You ever notice how you make changes to who you are depending on who your talking to, your audience?  You ever notice what changes you don't make when your around people that you don't give a !*$! about, live with, can cut loose with?
I was at an event last week and I noticed how people put on a completely new mask when they feel a need to appease who their talking to or come of in a certain way in order to make themselves shine.  And i'm not talking about helping yourself move up the career ladder, meeting family of your girlfriends, or something formal like that.  Even that I find has it's own set of problems but I don't even want to get into that right now.

I knew these 2 girls from my class, when I'm chilling with each they say how much they despise the other, then they meetup and it's like they've been best friends the whole time....I actually busted out laughing when they hugged each other and I said "are you guys serious"...now they lowkey don't wanna talk to me because I put them on the spot but whatever...so damn funny how people need to act so that they don't get hated on or people don't talk !*$! about them.

The same thing probably goes for guys...i've actually done it back in the day but now i'm realizing it and i'm :smh'ing and 

 about it.

People are so apprehensive to be themselves and get taken the wrong way so they feel the need to fill these neutral "happy" roles and put on a show for each other.  It's crazy when you think about it...even crazier when you apply it to yourself and find the times you've done it.  While I can co-sign with the thought of not hating anyone...there's people in your life that your gonna naturally dislike...even giving them the opportunity to be friends with you...it's just life.  But why fake it in order to make it?  If it's not there why are you gonna be someone you know your not so that you can make a friend/get a girlfriend you really don't give 2 $#%%% about other than the aesthetics.

And what happens when someone who acts "fake" meets someone who's being genuine?  The genuine person usually gets $%@%#%! on for being boring, or being neutral, or not having any !*$! to talk about someone else.  Its a damn shame if you ask me...the popular opinion on this subject is that the genuine person who's really not catering to the crowd but is inherently nice or mean or whatever they truly are can't match the personality of the erratic, showy person which in turn makes them look less appealing (friendship, relationship wise)...but the way I look at it is that certain people are so real that others can't handle it because (my own theory it makes them uncomfortable knowing that these genuine people don't need to act a certain way to get attention and their comfortable in their own skin.

genuine people usually get put into this category of being too bland or too blunt and people don't like that...people want a buffer zone where even though they might say some stupid !*$! that goes against your virtues, you have to suck it up and smile and nod your head in agreement...what type of !*$! is that, really?

It's just a really unnecessary thing we have to deal with in life but I guess if it wasn't for the fakesters, how would you appreciate the real people...who go out everyday and are themselves despite getting $%@%#%! on; despite probably not being the center of attention; despite getting overlooked.  It's these kinds of people that really make the world go around while the in-genuine one's take the credit for it.

I mean there are times when we need to put our best foot forward in order to make a good impression...as contradictory as that sounds in regards to what i've written above...but what i'm really trying to target right now are the people in this world that fake their personality in order to be popular, or get some booty, or get something that they couldn't get if they were just themselves.

I might be all over the place with this one, but I swear i'm trying to take this somewhere

***disclaimer: these are just my opinions on this...totally open to debate

Edit: just re-read this and this is more of a vent than a meditative thought.

 

[2b1ask1]

Legit vent

 

[2b1ask1]

Legit vent

 

[hombrelobo]

Right, definitely more of a vent than a meditative thought today

I would describe myself as this person you just described

The genuine person usually gets $%@%#%! on for being boring, or being neutral, or not having any !*$! to talk about someone else. Its a damn shame if you ask me...the popular opinion on this subject is that the genuine person who's really not catering to the crowd but is inherently nice or mean or whatever they truly are can't match the personality of the erratic, showy person which in turn makes them look less appealing (friendship, relationship wise)...but the way I look at it is that certain people are so real that others can't handle it because (my own theory it makes them uncomfortable knowing that these genuine people don't need to act a certain way to get attention and their comfortable in their own skin.


And I can add myself that there have been many times growing up when I've been seen as that guy because I didn't like what everyone else liked growing up. In high school I was always the one to question and really think about the tasks assigned by my teachers. It wasn't that I always wanted to go against the grain. But..I don't know. I always thought it was because I was "inquisitive" or just "dumb" and I didn't get things others "did"

Reflecting back on those times I can see why I was so different. My lifestyle growing up was not a typical to say the least. My Dad was putting me in martial arts classes, he taught me music, and my grandparents let me free to explore and develop my mind by not restricting me to NOT doing anything (If I wanted to play soccer..soccer it was. Bball? Sure! Tennis? Why not!). My grandpa would play games with me, teach me, and I would always ask questions about everything. I can also contribute that to the reassurance of my mother and grandmother. They were always cementing my confidence. That led me to never feel shy or embarrassed about anything. I conversed with everyone. Neighbors, grocery store workers, etc. So I wonder if conformity comes with low self confidence? Or maybe from just never experiencing anything else? Hmm..

So, I never got into the mind state of agreeing to agree. At this point in my age, there are times that I do bite my tongue though. Sometimes the negative energy isn't worth it. I don't mask myself, but I do protect others..if that makes sense. I can be thinking someone is a fool...but I can't always say that. There is a moral stance that I do take, though. Sometimes things just have to be said. Sometimes it's not worth fueling a fire. It sucks.. but I can't always be the end all be all. You can't always do what you want.

Or can you?

I guess that's the question..


Ah life..so simple. Yet so complex.

 

[hombrelobo]

Right, definitely more of a vent than a meditative thought today

I would describe myself as this person you just described

The genuine person usually gets $%@%#%! on for being boring, or being neutral, or not having any !*$! to talk about someone else. Its a damn shame if you ask me...the popular opinion on this subject is that the genuine person who's really not catering to the crowd but is inherently nice or mean or whatever they truly are can't match the personality of the erratic, showy person which in turn makes them look less appealing (friendship, relationship wise)...but the way I look at it is that certain people are so real that others can't handle it because (my own theory it makes them uncomfortable knowing that these genuine people don't need to act a certain way to get attention and their comfortable in their own skin.


And I can add myself that there have been many times growing up when I've been seen as that guy because I didn't like what everyone else liked growing up. In high school I was always the one to question and really think about the tasks assigned by my teachers. It wasn't that I always wanted to go against the grain. But..I don't know. I always thought it was because I was "inquisitive" or just "dumb" and I didn't get things others "did"

Reflecting back on those times I can see why I was so different. My lifestyle growing up was not a typical to say the least. My Dad was putting me in martial arts classes, he taught me music, and my grandparents let me free to explore and develop my mind by not restricting me to NOT doing anything (If I wanted to play soccer..soccer it was. Bball? Sure! Tennis? Why not!). My grandpa would play games with me, teach me, and I would always ask questions about everything. I can also contribute that to the reassurance of my mother and grandmother. They were always cementing my confidence. That led me to never feel shy or embarrassed about anything. I conversed with everyone. Neighbors, grocery store workers, etc. So I wonder if conformity comes with low self confidence? Or maybe from just never experiencing anything else? Hmm..

So, I never got into the mind state of agreeing to agree. At this point in my age, there are times that I do bite my tongue though. Sometimes the negative energy isn't worth it. I don't mask myself, but I do protect others..if that makes sense. I can be thinking someone is a fool...but I can't always say that. There is a moral stance that I do take, though. Sometimes things just have to be said. Sometimes it's not worth fueling a fire. It sucks.. but I can't always be the end all be all. You can't always do what you want.

Or can you?

I guess that's the question..


Ah life..so simple. Yet so complex.

 

[iammd]

Its actually a very normal thing to do.

edit: Can't front, didn't read...after reading, I agree with you.

 

[iammd]

Its actually a very normal thing to do.

edit: Can't front, didn't read...after reading, I agree with you.

 

[jdiggs]

I feel you bruh..

Sad cuz some of the people out here think they too good for anyone and anything. Cant even kick it without being singled out.

 

[jdiggs]

I feel you bruh..

Sad cuz some of the people out here think they too good for anyone and anything. Cant even kick it without being singled out.

 

[an dee 51o]

Real recognize real.


I used to want everyone to like me. Then I realized that there weren't that many people that I actually liked, so I stopped caring. Weeding out fake friends has greatly improved my life. I don't have to worry about my friends having alterior motives, going behind my back, etc.

 

[an dee 51o]

Real recognize real.


I used to want everyone to like me. Then I realized that there weren't that many people that I actually liked, so I stopped caring. Weeding out fake friends has greatly improved my life. I don't have to worry about my friends having alterior motives, going behind my back, etc.

 

[heavenlee777]

I agree with you.

So many people putting on a facade and stuff.
But I just think it's like this because most people from like 14-25 are young, immature, insecure, and most importantly they don't know who they are yet.
And like most young people, they want to be socially accepted.
They aren't comfortable with themselves so they try acting in a way where they are more appealing to society.

While this is understandable, I don't agree with it.
Because we are all different, and we should just love ourselves for who we are.
And if we keep living our lives based on what society "wants" us to be, then we are just wasting who we truly are and all the potential we have/could have had.
While acting like a different person might make us temporarily happier, in the end, deep down inside, there will still be a gaping hole, and the longer we keep that void open, the longer our insecurities and immaturities will last.
So the faster we realize/accept who we really are, the happier we'll be.
While I find these people annoying too, we should just realize that they know they are BS and we know they are BS as well.
So whatever, just let them be, go on with your life and just worry about the real stuff that matters.

Btw, I am 20. So what I am saying is probably BS haha.

 

[heavenlee777]

I agree with you.

So many people putting on a facade and stuff.
But I just think it's like this because most people from like 14-25 are young, immature, insecure, and most importantly they don't know who they are yet.
And like most young people, they want to be socially accepted.
They aren't comfortable with themselves so they try acting in a way where they are more appealing to society.

While this is understandable, I don't agree with it.
Because we are all different, and we should just love ourselves for who we are.
And if we keep living our lives based on what society "wants" us to be, then we are just wasting who we truly are and all the potential we have/could have had.
While acting like a different person might make us temporarily happier, in the end, deep down inside, there will still be a gaping hole, and the longer we keep that void open, the longer our insecurities and immaturities will last.
So the faster we realize/accept who we really are, the happier we'll be.
While I find these people annoying too, we should just realize that they know they are BS and we know they are BS as well.
So whatever, just let them be, go on with your life and just worry about the real stuff that matters.

Btw, I am 20. So what I am saying is probably BS haha.

 

[toy collector123]

I really don't find anything meditative about being fake vs. real?

The real hate on the fake cause the fake, fake it until they make it, while the real get caught up in not trying to seem overly exaggerated. Real people cant live with themselves on a daily basis and suffer more from depression due to being real to actually hide a facade of deterministic thoughts throughout a universal parallel that coincides with the neurons of love that bides historical kind.

 

[toy collector123]

I really don't find anything meditative about being fake vs. real?

The real hate on the fake cause the fake, fake it until they make it, while the real get caught up in not trying to seem overly exaggerated. Real people cant live with themselves on a daily basis and suffer more from depression due to being real to actually hide a facade of deterministic thoughts throughout a universal parallel that coincides with the neurons of love that bides historical kind.

 

[dirtylicious]

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

 

[dirtylicious]

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

 

[persiafly]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

Exactly.
You have to strike a balance between being genuine and being tactful. The latter is often totally disregarded. 

 

[persiafly]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

Exactly.
You have to strike a balance between being genuine and being tactful. The latter is often totally disregarded. 

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

hombrelobo wrote:

So, I never got into the mind state of agreeing to agree. At this point in my age, there are times that I do bite my tongue though. Sometimes the negative energy isn't worth it. I don't mask myself, but I do protect others..if that makes sense. I can be thinking someone is a fool...but I can't always say that. There is a moral stance that I do take, though. Sometimes things just have to be said. Sometimes it's not worth fueling a fire. 

True things being said right here...I tried to say something like this in my original post but I didn't know how to say it.  Well said.

I really don't find anything meditative about being fake vs. real? 

The real hate on the fake cause the fake, fake it until they make it, while the real get caught up in not trying to seem overly exaggerated. Real people cant live with themselves on a daily basis and suffer more from depression due to being real to actually hide a facade of deterministic tho

Your right to some extent...I still think it's something to meditate on...the amount of people you meet during your week that you know or have an instinct act this non genuine sort of way and how you act with them.  It is more of a vent.  Can't really agree with you on your last statement though.  I def don't see things that way...if your being a genuine person then your good with yourself...I think that your referring to when someone with genuine qualities tries to compare themselves with someone who's faking it...and they envy that person for having more of something then they do and can't cope with the fact that their trying keep their genuine qualities but at the same time they want to have that life.

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

when I read this...the Dave Chappelle skit "when being real goes wrong came to mind




[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Let me ask you a question Dirty...did you find me making my comments to those 2 girls that despised each other inappropriate?[/font]

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

hombrelobo wrote:

So, I never got into the mind state of agreeing to agree. At this point in my age, there are times that I do bite my tongue though. Sometimes the negative energy isn't worth it. I don't mask myself, but I do protect others..if that makes sense. I can be thinking someone is a fool...but I can't always say that. There is a moral stance that I do take, though. Sometimes things just have to be said. Sometimes it's not worth fueling a fire. 

True things being said right here...I tried to say something like this in my original post but I didn't know how to say it.  Well said.

I really don't find anything meditative about being fake vs. real? 

The real hate on the fake cause the fake, fake it until they make it, while the real get caught up in not trying to seem overly exaggerated. Real people cant live with themselves on a daily basis and suffer more from depression due to being real to actually hide a facade of deterministic tho

Your right to some extent...I still think it's something to meditate on...the amount of people you meet during your week that you know or have an instinct act this non genuine sort of way and how you act with them.  It is more of a vent.  Can't really agree with you on your last statement though.  I def don't see things that way...if your being a genuine person then your good with yourself...I think that your referring to when someone with genuine qualities tries to compare themselves with someone who's faking it...and they envy that person for having more of something then they do and can't cope with the fact that their trying keep their genuine qualities but at the same time they want to have that life.

eh.....sometimes dudes think that keeping it real or being geniune involves forgetting basic common courtesy and more importantly, tact.

when I read this...the Dave Chappelle skit "when being real goes wrong came to mind




[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Let me ask you a question Dirty...did you find me making my comments to those 2 girls that despised each other inappropriate?[/font]

 

[dirtylicious]

in a way, yes.. b/c now you've put yourself in a situation whereby you've burned bridges between you and two other people, neither of whom you had any issues with, prior to your outburst.... but b/c you chose to not display any tact, you've put yourself into their mess and you no longer have either relationship.

if you're content with that outcome...so be it....but why even try to involve yourself with that nonsense?

 

[dirtylicious]

in a way, yes.. b/c now you've put yourself in a situation whereby you've burned bridges between you and two other people, neither of whom you had any issues with, prior to your outburst.... but b/c you chose to not display any tact, you've put yourself into their mess and you no longer have either relationship.

if you're content with that outcome...so be it....but why even try to involve yourself with that nonsense?

 

[persiafly]

Let me ask you a question Dirty...did you find me making my comments to those 2 girls that despised each other inappropriate?

I know you didn't ask me, but since I co-signed Dirty above I thought I'd pitch in here as well.

I think what you did was terrible and terribly uncouth. You are not a police officer for social behavior, no matter what your personal feelings are about the matter.

I respect your feelings and stances and principles, but I can't respect your actions. You crossed lines and involved yourself with the affairs of others when you had no place to do so.