Moments That Made You Realize You’re Washed



"I told my *****, “If I gotta be faithful, I might fall off”

Future tried to warn me.. I haven't had a "serious" relationship in decades.. because I like smashing ******
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Now im in a serious relationship and I completely fall off.. WASHED..

I'm about to go back to.. my old lifestyle of when..

I got a mistress.. a girlfriend.. and a wife on the side..
 
Created an account to save money. Drove to Belk at 9:30am, they open at 10:00. At 10 AM me and 5 old ladies rush the doors. I picked up my order. Walked around and bought a christmas teddy bear on sale.

W A S H E D


FYI shocked at good the Tacoma TRD Pro is

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Fritos is a usual topping with chili🤷‍♂️
Yeah but we gotta make chilli just to eat a bag of chips?

All I need is some bean dip and I’d take that down but really those Fritos are staying in the pantry
 
Just got my first pair of actual crocs. Never wearing real shoes again. These and Nike offlines, which are more of a mule/slide than a croc since they're not foam, for life. ANd then I did research and saw those Merrell brand ones, already in the mail
 
Who’s last man standing in your home?

Yellow Lays or OG Fritos

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Kids wouldn't touch Frito's with a 10ft pole. I bought these variety pack for the kids school snacks for about 6 months and never ate them, so after all the Fritos piled up I threw them out. Fast forward 6 months later, my wife buys a family size bag to make haystacks for her lunch. You wouldn't believe it but these kids ate the entire bag and them proceeded to tell me that they "love them". I never wanted to toss my kids out a window so bad...SMH

PS: I got sick this week, and while showering I sneezed and pulled a muscle in my back. I've been taking Aleve "back and muscle pain" round the clock...SMH
 
I quit drinking a while back due to health but missed it every now and then so looked up something light and easy to find. Saw that brewers liked Miller High life/Coors banquet/modelo (used to drink microbrews or belgian tripels). End up picking them up way too often now. Easy drink and refreshing when ice cold. Gotta stop though, feel like gateway drinks. And they still kick my butt.
 
Niece is now watching movies and hanging out with her friends at the movie theatre I grew up going to in high school. Watched Fast and the furious on opening night. :pimp:
 
Went to a movie themed holiday party over the weekend.

Washed sign number 1: nobody knew who Rufio was because most people weren’t born when Hook came out.
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Washed sign number 2: this was 9pm after too many Old Fashioned’s :smh:


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Ya boy was TOAST
 
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