- Aug 14, 2012
- 23,194
- 28,141
When you don't have court established custody hard to see the judge filling kidnapping charges
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NT, How Much Child Support Do You Pay?
When you don't have court established custody hard to see the judge filling kidnapping charges
- Dec 11, 2007
- 12,064
- 12,431
Respect. That sounds like the best possible outcome without actually being with her.
I'm 28, no kids. None anytime soon.
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- May 17, 2014
- 107
- 128
I put myself on CS with my ex because my older brother got his head kicked in by the courts when they made him "back pay" CS for 7 years and then put him on papers for the remaining 11 years. That was in NYC. So instead of listening to threats from my ex I went ahead and bit the bullet. It saved myself and the court some time.
I'm in Ga. I pay $374 a month. It was originally $425. I brought proof that I had my daughter under my medical insurance to drop it down to the first number. I was working at Geico at the time and she was /is a waitress. My advice if you go to court is to have a lawyer there representing you. The state attorney was a female who had already dealt with 4 "dead beats" before me, so in my opinion I was just another number on her head count. She motioned for the court to file my ex's earnings to below minimum wage. She stated that my ex made less than $2 an hour. If I could go back I would have came to an agreement outside of court. I would have gotten the agreement notarized and submitted it to the child services agency to legalize it for the state. Remember that cash is considered a gift in the courts eyes. Receipts will get the most respect in the eyes of the court.
There are signs of hope out there for you and the rest of us brothers going through these ordeals...
We don't plan on going back to the court to deal with custody or even to "up" the child support. The court can drive a wedge in co-parenting. You become mad at your ex and your seed when in reality you're mad at the system.
At first my ex went through a phase where she was flexing a lot but it never bothered me. I had an image to protect. I had to be the bigger person in the situation no matter what. I couldn't fathom being late on payments or miss precious amounts of time with my daughter if I didn't have to work.
I took a break from school to work full time jobs, miscellaneous jobs, and be with our daughter while my ex has graduated with her bachelors. It's been a push and pull type of teamwork. Now it's my turn to finish my little AA in computer support and get certs. We really don't let the money come in between us. My pops suggested I ask for $2000 back from her income taxes since I technically pay over $4000 a year in support. I can't even do that. Its too much of a female type of mentality.
All in all, I moved on, had another daughter, got engaged, and all three of us have been putting our kids first. Always remember you're the glue in the middle. The children or child should only know that dad is compassionate to mom. I go over to my ex's house to eat lunch. We support each other's career dreams. I just went to a basketball game with my ex's dad and my daughter. That's just a few examples of our co-parenting that my fiancée encourages us to do. So yea... lol
It's an uphill battle but it's so much better looking down at where you were.
I'm in Ga. I pay $374 a month. It was originally $425. I brought proof that I had my daughter under my medical insurance to drop it down to the first number. I was working at Geico at the time and she was /is a waitress. My advice if you go to court is to have a lawyer there representing you. The state attorney was a female who had already dealt with 4 "dead beats" before me, so in my opinion I was just another number on her head count. She motioned for the court to file my ex's earnings to below minimum wage. She stated that my ex made less than $2 an hour. If I could go back I would have came to an agreement outside of court. I would have gotten the agreement notarized and submitted it to the child services agency to legalize it for the state. Remember that cash is considered a gift in the courts eyes. Receipts will get the most respect in the eyes of the court.
There are signs of hope out there for you and the rest of us brothers going through these ordeals...
We don't plan on going back to the court to deal with custody or even to "up" the child support. The court can drive a wedge in co-parenting. You become mad at your ex and your seed when in reality you're mad at the system.
At first my ex went through a phase where she was flexing a lot but it never bothered me. I had an image to protect. I had to be the bigger person in the situation no matter what. I couldn't fathom being late on payments or miss precious amounts of time with my daughter if I didn't have to work.
I took a break from school to work full time jobs, miscellaneous jobs, and be with our daughter while my ex has graduated with her bachelors. It's been a push and pull type of teamwork. Now it's my turn to finish my little AA in computer support and get certs. We really don't let the money come in between us. My pops suggested I ask for $2000 back from her income taxes since I technically pay over $4000 a year in support. I can't even do that. Its too much of a female type of mentality.
All in all, I moved on, had another daughter, got engaged, and all three of us have been putting our kids first. Always remember you're the glue in the middle. The children or child should only know that dad is compassionate to mom. I go over to my ex's house to eat lunch. We support each other's career dreams. I just went to a basketball game with my ex's dad and my daughter. That's just a few examples of our co-parenting that my fiancée encourages us to do. So yea... lol
It's an uphill battle but it's so much better looking down at where you were.
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- Feb 23, 2006
- 6,641
- 4,914
missed that part.
When you don't have court established custody hard to see the judge filling kidnapping charges
Sir San Diego
formerly brolic scholar
- Feb 20, 2011
- 12,455
- 10,879
Really homie? Didn't y'all just go to Vegas and all that?
- Sep 18, 2013
- 6,249
- 5,746
quitting my job doesn't mean i can't provide homie...
- Sep 18, 2013
- 6,249
- 5,746
yeah we did... **** aint as sweet as it seems on social media
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- Aug 1, 2004
- 70,047
- 24,226
man eff that, if its not yours cut bait and scram...da hell u gonna subject yourself to hell when you don't have to, thats how i see it... don't be that guy da courts screw over because u let time paper over biological ambiguity.
Sir San Diego
formerly brolic scholar
- Feb 20, 2011
- 12,455
- 10,879
Damn... hope it works out for you homie. Real ****.
- Jul 29, 2005
- 38,418
- 17,444
Why would you do this without clearing the phone of that?
And that's the double truth, Ruth!
- Mar 19, 2013
- 16,870
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- Aug 25, 2008
- 3,923
- 658
Man the law ain't on our side. Had a situation where my bm took my son out the country when I had full custody. Lawyer insisted to call the cops to just have proof of the incident. What a joke.
Anyways now we have agreed on me paying $800 a month
- Feb 19, 2013
- 17,790
- 9,640
And some of yall talking about go to the courts asap. Im telling yall first hand courts dgaf about the kid you or the mother all they want is money.
I have 2 sons been thru this ish twice im tell yall DO NOT GET THE COURTS INVOLVED. Now i kno sometimes it cant be avoided but please my young bros try to work with her and vice versa. Trust me.
- Aug 25, 2008
- 3,923
- 658
How you telling. I did the court thing when my son was young and that was how I got full custody.
Fast forward some years and she got him back due to me having to do a bid for a little while. Since then it's been hit or miss.
She can be fine one day and crazy the next. It's ridiculous. Now I just pay my $800 a month and do what I have to as a father.
Can't let someone else control your life so I pay her very little attention
- Feb 19, 2013
- 17,790
- 9,640
Im telling cause i posted dont get the courts involved and people started posting get the courts involved.
In you case she clearly kidnapped your kid. Did she go jail? Did she get fined? Thats my point courts dgaf about nothing but money.
- Aug 25, 2008
- 3,923
- 658
Who you telling* is what I meant Lol. It's crazy how the courts work. Just like you said the main goal is money.
- Dec 11, 2012
- 95
- 83
Funny, I went through the courts, paid $450 a month for about 7 years before my ex wife and her alcoholic husband started fighting a lot, so I took her to court for custody and won rather easily. Some will say get courts involved, others will say don't, but the only thing for sure is that every situation is different. Different states will treat each case differently. But any real man shouldn't have a problem taking care of their child. Y'all are so scared of having to pay child support, but do you ever think about the fact that the child needs food, clothing, a bedroom, they use electricity, car seats, the list goes on and on. Some people need to man up, stop worrying about their own selfish needs, and put your kids needs first.
Sir San Diego
formerly brolic scholar
- Feb 20, 2011
- 12,455
- 10,879
I agree with that to a degree (not that you care about/need my cosign, just saying).
Man the **** up and take care of YOUR child that YOU brought into this world. No excuses. Where I have a problem is the scheming some women will do to keep men from having equal time with their child where he can provide for him/her under his roof.
Now if you leave it all on the mom to do everything and you only wanna have your kid to avoid cs, I have no sympathy for you. But if you're honestly trying to be a father and a spiteful ex is using your child as a bargaining chip, that's wack and will always be.
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- Dec 19, 2008
- 8,826
- 2,952
I put myself on CS after a year of dealing with the other parent directly. When I started, I was paying $558, went up to $800, now its $333. I didn't want see or talk to my ex and CS accomplished that. Its easier dealing with the courts than the other parent. For $333, they keep a track of my payments and pay her.
- May 25, 2001
- 23,608
- 18,035
I want full custody actually, just not confident I would get it. I am just trying to start the process to get my paternity recognized and get a little bit ahead I guess so when/if we breakup, at least I already exist as far as the courts go and I can say something because she is definitely the type to put her own feelings first and use the baby for revenge, and even if she tried to act right her mama would get in her ear with her mean ***.
I am less concerned about the courts bankrupting me but at the same time if I make 70 and she makes 10 and they use that sum/avg/difference/divide by 12 formula it's going to murder me, PLUS they'll give me some ****** visitation (I wouldn't have enough left really to do much anyways between this house and the KIA lol), PLUS they'll have my daughter being raised by 2 mean, spiteful *** women which is the worst. In fact she would assuredly run back to her mom's house so a breakup would leave us living in 2 cities, about 1hr 15 apart, so they might even try to make me pay 2 daycares if any of my custody includes weekdays or make me move, who knows.
Like I said, last time I looked into it a bit and lawyers were just way too expensive. But like everything else, I have to struggle to try to pay for it, if you are a single mother below a certain threshhold, FREE. Yes they can get free lawyers, at least here. I'd have to get loans or borrow from my parents, both of which I hate doing.
- Jan 17, 2013
- 8,090
- 7,101
Hated CS with a passion. I got lucky tho. I was payin. $500 a month but my BM was messin them drugs and got popped by the police A FEW times. She signed over custody to ya boy and been livin CS free for 7 years now...
- Apr 29, 2007
- 17,246
- 22,181
datznasty
U living a trill life my G. I unfortunately could find myself in a similar situation (minus the KIA lol) down the line. Things are good with my girl and I never want to jinx it. I'm unfortunately playing with dice for the time being but I'm prayerful that things will go right.
