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Official Depression thread
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by julesbeats,
- Start date
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Excercise definitely helps
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Cosign 100 on all this
$tacy
formerly willchamberlain
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This. And reading.
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A lot of people equate "exercise" with weightlifting or playing full court. Even taking the dog for a brisk walk, doing yoga, or anything else that gets your heart rate going will be of benefit.
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This is my first post in this thread. I'm not too active on NT these days, just happened to see this thread today. It may be a long read, here goes:
In the last year or two, I've learned to be more vulnerable and caring to my loved ones. As men, we are taught to be strong, to not show caring as that shows weakness. Insert whatever cliche saying here. That's false. The more caring you are to other people, the more happy you will be.
With all the negative vibe going on around these days, especially for some cheap LOLs, I'm not surprised the depression/suicidal rates are sky high.
I've never been so depressed that I had to be put on medication or anything. Like everyone else, I've had my ups and downs. The worst for me was slight suicidal thought as a teen and being bed ridden several years ago. One of my business mentors (who is now a great friend) was depressed for years. He's a typical rags to riches story...dropped out of college and built/sold a $200M company. He's got a family and expensive cars. He's married with kids. But he was unhappy internally...substance and alcohol abuse ensured. He tried to kill himself at one point. He spent tons of money seeking medical help. None of that helped much. He said things turned around when he learned to love himself.
That's one of the most powerful things I learned from him. You have to learn to love yourself. You need to surround yourself with positive people. Trade up in relationships. A lot of us see things in a negative aspect, glass of water half empty as oppose to half full. We all have things to improve upon, but it's important to love yourself and be happy with where you are in your life. If you're in your 20s, or 30s, and you're physically healthy (meaning not handicapped), you can wake up tomorrow and fight another battle. Just focus on winning the day. Take baby steps which will equate to a mile sooner or later.
If you are depressed, keep active. Go work out. I also started meditating several months ago to counter the hectic lifestyle. Please take care of yourselves, fellas. Money cannot buy that back. Go join new social groups (meetup is a great app for that). I used to be a shy person in college, and when I was depressed...I never spoke about it because I thought it was made up. Now I have no issue speaking to a random stranger about my stories if it can help them somehow. This TED vid was passed onto me, and I will post it here. I've watched this numerous times and still find it powerful.
In the last year or two, I've learned to be more vulnerable and caring to my loved ones. As men, we are taught to be strong, to not show caring as that shows weakness. Insert whatever cliche saying here. That's false. The more caring you are to other people, the more happy you will be.
With all the negative vibe going on around these days, especially for some cheap LOLs, I'm not surprised the depression/suicidal rates are sky high.
I've never been so depressed that I had to be put on medication or anything. Like everyone else, I've had my ups and downs. The worst for me was slight suicidal thought as a teen and being bed ridden several years ago. One of my business mentors (who is now a great friend) was depressed for years. He's a typical rags to riches story...dropped out of college and built/sold a $200M company. He's got a family and expensive cars. He's married with kids. But he was unhappy internally...substance and alcohol abuse ensured. He tried to kill himself at one point. He spent tons of money seeking medical help. None of that helped much. He said things turned around when he learned to love himself.
That's one of the most powerful things I learned from him. You have to learn to love yourself. You need to surround yourself with positive people. Trade up in relationships. A lot of us see things in a negative aspect, glass of water half empty as oppose to half full. We all have things to improve upon, but it's important to love yourself and be happy with where you are in your life. If you're in your 20s, or 30s, and you're physically healthy (meaning not handicapped), you can wake up tomorrow and fight another battle. Just focus on winning the day. Take baby steps which will equate to a mile sooner or later.
If you are depressed, keep active. Go work out. I also started meditating several months ago to counter the hectic lifestyle. Please take care of yourselves, fellas. Money cannot buy that back. Go join new social groups (meetup is a great app for that). I used to be a shy person in college, and when I was depressed...I never spoke about it because I thought it was made up. Now I have no issue speaking to a random stranger about my stories if it can help them somehow. This TED vid was passed onto me, and I will post it here. I've watched this numerous times and still find it powerful.
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hang in there fam. i couldn't ask for much else 4 months ago cause my life was in cruise control but my life changed just like that. i'm just living day by day and trying to stay positive, i'm not truly happy but the beauty of it all is that you learn to appreciate life more when things are looking up.
life is a rollercoaster it always is.
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I'm not sure where everyone is located. I've met a fair share of members throughout my time here. Some became close friends and we don't even buy sneakers anymore.
My free time is pretty limited these days, but if there are any Los Angeles members that feel like they're alone, feel free to PM me. Maybe we can grab coffee or have a call at the very least.
My free time is pretty limited these days, but if there are any Los Angeles members that feel like they're alone, feel free to PM me. Maybe we can grab coffee or have a call at the very least.
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Post vacation depression..can we talk about that? Any tips?
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I've contacted about 15 psychologists in the last week through voicemail and email and 3 have replied back saying they're not accepting new patients. Cool. But rather disappointed it takes the rest of them this long to call me back. Especially when most of the answering messages say they'll return your call within 24 hours. Good thing I'm not suicidal.
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Yeah that doesn't seem very professional at all. Where in the states?
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NorCal. I have a list of 180 psychologists in my area who accept my insurance (and supposedly new patients) so I'll just keep trying.
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Yo. I figured I'd finally post in/subscribe to this thread since today is one of those worse-than-usual ones and I remember coming across this thread months ago. I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts since I was around 14 years old. Well, 14 is when it was official that I had some real "issues" and started working with professionals, being prescribed medication etc. I'm now 25.
Honestly, I think the main reason I'm (unfortunately) alive because I love my mother and I know she would be psychologically crushed if I were to die. Objectively, I can look at her and say she's only one person so my death wouldn't matter too much in the grand scheme of things but...that's my mother. She's the only person I see as worth living for. Still, even with her in my life I wish I could just die a quick and painless death and get outta here. I've had tons of good moments, good days etc. but at the end of day life is prison to me while death is the release. I hope I'm dead by 30 at the latest.
Regardless, I hope y'all are doing as good as can be.
Honestly, I think the main reason I'm (unfortunately) alive because I love my mother and I know she would be psychologically crushed if I were to die. Objectively, I can look at her and say she's only one person so my death wouldn't matter too much in the grand scheme of things but...that's my mother. She's the only person I see as worth living for. Still, even with her in my life I wish I could just die a quick and painless death and get outta here. I've had tons of good moments, good days etc. but at the end of day life is prison to me while death is the release. I hope I'm dead by 30 at the latest.
Regardless, I hope y'all are doing as good as can be.
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serotonins
formerly maroki
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Flu games champions supreme uptempos and hat stolen by movers. IPhone has been messed up for a while but now I might have to replace soon. Made a mistake at the new gig.. Was supposed to stay in a friend room for free but can't because it's taken all of a sudden. Lol all within 72 hours man....
Bend_The_Knee
formerly gotholesinmysocks
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I have thought about hanging myself or OD'ing on sleep pills almost everyday.
Confidence is at an all time low, no sleep, it's affecting me with family, friends and women.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression a year ago.
The doctor, who pretty much all of my family goes to was even concerned.
My family doesn't know i was diagnosed with CD.
I was given Zoloft, gave it a try for a month but it didn't work.
Only things keeping me alive is my mom and nephew.
Confidence is at an all time low, no sleep, it's affecting me with family, friends and women.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression a year ago.
The doctor, who pretty much all of my family goes to was even concerned.
My family doesn't know i was diagnosed with CD.
I was given Zoloft, gave it a try for a month but it didn't work.
Only things keeping me alive is my mom and nephew.
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Must be hard but all i have to say is Man Up and get busy. Keep yourself occupied. Get yourself cleaned up as in new haircut, shave, new style, etc. Get a job not full-time though as you want to have time to enjoy yourself. Go for lots of walks/jogs while listening to some HAPPY UPLIFTING music..none of that Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins EMO ****. Set yourself easy goals and reward yourself. Obviously you like sneakers.. Im assuming. Not sure what your financial situation is but go travel to a cheap, sunny destination. Hope you take my advice and best of luck to you. I was suffering from anxiety and depression myself but the **** that made me anxious all worked out. Sometimes even good people get good luck.
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megagraphitti
Have you ever gotten to the root cause?
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To yall that have contemplated suicide...ive had suicidal thoughts (and homicidal) before and i know its easy for someone to say but its not worth it man. Thats the easy way out. Just keep battling it and keep yourselves occupied like someone else mentioned.
"Its a struggle everyday but you gotta hold on, be strong"
"Its a struggle everyday but you gotta hold on, be strong"
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I dislike giving vague answers, but honestly it's yes and no. There are different factors, but it probably all boils down to:
- Being raised by a single mother as my father ran before I was born and he went make a new family
- Abandonment and trust issues that have developed since childhood
- Feelings of not deserving love from others, which stems from my own generally negative view of myself
- Feeling as if I'm not being "worthy" of others, not on other people's levels
The last two are probably why I cut people off so frequently. I have little to no problems making friends and quite a bit of trouble keeping them. It's almost never personal. I cut people off because I have problems with myself, not with them. In the back of my mind, I'm often thinking there's no way someone can genuinely care about me and enjoy my company so it's largely doing it out of pity. That, and I figure my mental illness issues will scare them off anyways (as it has with people in the past) so why not just avoid being hurt like that again and cut them off before they can do it to me? Besides, I feel so pathetic revealing my problems to people and it just reinforces those thoughts of pity I mentioned earlier. I'd rather not be seen at all than to be seen at my worst.
Believe it or not, there is a part of me that actually wants to live and do well but that alternates with the "you're already 25 man just quit and commit suicide already" type of mindset I'm used to. I often feel like I'm just a lost cause at the point of no return and even if there is it's not worth it. However, like I said I'm here mainly because I love my mother.
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I struggle with the last two also. It's scary, because no one in my family or circle of friends has that mentality. It's pretty disheartening when it comes to females. I've never wanted something long term and I think this is part of the reason. When it comes to my guy friends it's no problem.
Let's get one thing straight though my dude. Suicide is 100% completely out of the question. You have so much damn potential, whether things change for you tomorrow or in 10 years. Something as drastic and permanent as suicide is not an appropriate response. I've been there before, and fast forward a few years and I absolutely can't believe it was even a consideration. I GUARANTEE you will have the same sentiment soon, which I why I urge you to dig deep. Acknowledge how you're feeling and make small steps to better your situation and mindset.
What's a typical day like for you?
Like others have said, little things make a HUGE difference:
-going for a walk/hike
-yoga
-pleasant music (I like the Pandora channel: Movie scores)
-eating more produce, cutting out fast food
-getting a new hobby like playing chess online or photography
-volunteering with the less fortunate or disabled, etc (this will open your eyes)
-reading a book with a positive message (The Alchemist, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Last Lecture)
-join an in-person group/club with similar interests
Bend_The_Knee
formerly gotholesinmysocks
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Appreciate the advice.
One dark cloud i have over my head is looking for the piece of **** who mugged my mom, slammed her onto a fire hydrant causing nerve damage to her right arm. She can't even lift the arm anymore and having to watch her like that while not finding and snapping his arm off myself pisses me off every day.
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I hear you in regards to females. I have little trouble getting along with women and many have shown interest but if any feelings outside of a mutual friendzone come up from either or both sides, the more I want to run away. I have gone out of my way to do some ridiculous things to scare women off in the past. I'm talking like, purposely waiting a long time to get her number, straight up telling her stuff like "I don't really deal with people like that, I keep to myself," saying self-deprecating and pessimistic things, telling her I usually cut females off within months, shooting down invites to places etc.
If something along the lines of those examples won't push her away, bringing up my mental illness usually will. If not, then I'll just cut her off myself before or right after it comes to that (mentioning my "real" problems) because I feel people are better off without me to begin with so I'm doing us both a favor by avoiding any drama. If THAT doesn't work, then I'll just push away anyways because I would rather suffer alone than to tell people about my problems. I've legitimately tried changing my ways like with one of the more recent women I've dealt with, but old behavior still comes up. Therefore, any attractive single female I click with usually lasts 4-10 months before everything goes sour. The ones who I've maintained anything with are in relationships with other dudes and/or we're just not interested in each other outside of a mutual friendzone.
Besides, like I said a part of me wants to die by 30 so I often feel that I shouldn't live like someone who sees a big future. I'ma be dead within 5 years (at least, I hope so), so sometimes I ask why I should even bother helping the side of me that's actually sociable and enjoys being around people. I usually have too much pride to go the "easy route" but with suicide that goes out the window. Anyone can call me a coward for wanting to die and quit because that doesn't matter when I'm dead and no longer have to live life.
To your second part: Ironically, I'm a psychology undergrad student and I'm not taking summer classes. I want to take a break until winter 2018 so my days consist of looking for work on top of the usual gym and appointments. My hobbies are basically hip-hop, gaming, and exercise and I do more of that when not in school. During the semester, my life is basically just going to classes, working a gym schedule around it (3-5 days/week, routine) and studying. As far as diet, I'm pretty strict most of the time. I've been eating vegan for almost two years, I have a written down meal plan with calculated macros, I schedule cheat meals which usually consist of the same things so I rarely go too far off track etc. No matter what though, I usually spend most of my free time alone and turn down invites from both male and female friends.
The loneliness can be really tough, but at the end of the day I can say: I didn't hurt anyone, no one hurt me, and only I can hurt myself.
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