On Lying To Women, and Whether It's Necessary at Times

stunthard

stunthard

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Sep 24, 2009
I went to a birthday party for one of the homies this past weekend, and my girl asked me where the party was. It started at the barber shop, then we went to the club.

I told her I went to the barber shop, but not the club, which was a lie.

I didn't do anything wrong at the club, didn't even drink. Just ate, took group pics, and bounced. It was unnecessary for me to lie, but I did anyway.

I lied in order to reduce the chance of having an argument about me going out. Even though I didn't do anything wrong, I felt like that was the best way to avoid that altercation. Lie, or have a 30 minute argument over something of little importance.

I try to live an honest life, but sometimes I feel like I have to lie in order to keep conflict over trivial BS to a minimum. I know this is wrong, but a lie comes out before I even get the chance to assess the situation.

Lying is wrong; I know this. But do you feel that it is necessary at times to reduce conflict/stress, or should you be unconditionally truthful with women, regardless of circumstances?
 
I could tell a lie if you askin me my whereabouts
But I might talk that real if you ask me what I care about
 
yes. good luck when she sees those group pics though. you wanna talk about conflict and stress? try explaining to what sounds like an overly suspicious girlfriend why you lied even though you did nothing wrong.
 
If you're with a woman you have to lie to, you're with the wrong woman.

I put that on everything.
 
Lying to anyone is your right, period. Saying it's necessary is just a crutch cuz the truth of the matter is you don't need that broad. Right or wrong is subjective and an arbitrary label when it comes to this issue.
 
In a new Associated Press-Ipsos poll, over half of respondents said lying was never justified. Yet in the same poll, up to two-thirds said it was OK to lie in certain situations, like protecting someone's feelings.

http://www.huffingtonpost...-say-lying-_n_24838.html

I tend to agree.

I believe lying can be justified to avoid unnecessary conflict over trivial things and to avoid unnecessary hurt feelings over a trivial thing.
 
You didn't lie though.

You omitted a minor detail.

Yall gotta stop letting these women cuff you by the sack.

To answer your question though, yea sometimes even straight up lying is necessary.
 
Originally Posted by Nako XL

yes. good luck when she sees those group pics though. you wanna talk about conflict and stress? try explaining to what sounds like an overly suspicious girlfriend why you lied even though you did nothing wrong.
Click to expand...


She saw the group pics a few hours ago, and sent me a text that reads, "you are a F-- liar!!! and you wonder why I don't trust you..."

I told her I lied because I was trying to avoid the b--------, and bam... b-------- commences.

If I felt like I could tell her the truth, I would, no doubt.

It just seems like telling her the truth leaves me with a headache, whereas telling her a lie results in either no headache, or the same headache I would have if I would have told her the truth in the first place. Might as well try to circumvent that initial headache.

I don't like lying, but I loathe arguing.

EDIT: don't know if you can say b------- on NT anymore.
 
If she finds out then you do look like you were doing something wrong even if you weren't. So why not just be honest?
 
Posing in group pictures was a bad move, g.

Only thing I ever stretch the truth about is who I'm with. I genuinely enjoy the company of women I've dated, and every now and then I'll go to a dinner or out to get a drink with one of my ex-girlfriends. My current girl didn't really like it when we first started dating, so whenever I went out with an ex I told her that I was going out with friends.

I eventually got tired of telling her lies and just was honest with her, and told her that if she didn't trust me enough to be around other females then we don't really need to be dating. She just stopped asking who I'm with. Problem solved for both of us.
happy.gif
(I'll tell her now that I'm with [insert random girl's name] and she usually just acts like she doesn't hear it, which isn't really any hair off of my back.)

You should probably just tell her like this; If she won't allow you to live your life without interrogating you or being suspicious when you're being honest with her, then you two don't need to be in a relationship. If it's something she can't handle, then you shouldn't want to be dating her anyways.
 
I don't say certain things to my girl at times for the same reason. It's minor and won't affect our relationship in any way, but I just don't want to deal with her constant questioning once I tell her the truth.
 
I should also add that I've cheated on her before, about a year ago. This is where the distrust stems from. I was remorseful for that, and didn't do it again.

My dilemma at this point is whether my energy would be better spent patching holes in this boat, or finding a new boat.
 
Originally Posted by StuntHard

I should also add that I've cheated on her before, about a year ago. This is where the distrust stems from. I was remorseful for that, and didn't do it again.

My dilemma at this point is whether my energy would be better spent patching holes in this boat, or finding a new boat.
Click to expand...

You shouldn't lie about any situation where you could be cheating again with that history
 
"As long as the love and the trust is there, we gon grow" - Ghostface Killah

Love might be there, but as long as the trust is out the window you're just wasting your time.
 
I didn't do anything wrong at the club, didn't even drink. Just ate, took group pics, and bounced.

That's where you went wrong champ.  In this day and age, everybody has a phone waiting to upload pictures to Facebook or Twitter from an event.  Next thing you know your girl is looking at a picture of you at a party when your "suppose" to be at the barbershop, and that's bad for business.  Even before that though, you should never feel you have to lie to your lady, if you have to lie to her about things like this you two might need to come to a better understanding on things collectively. 

Not to mention, sometimes if gets hard to keep up a lie, sometimes you might forget what you lied about originally and then create a new lie just to cover up the old lie, that's too much trouble and hassle to be going threw.  You would be surprised how well women can handle the truth.  If she's not willing to understand that, then charge her to the game. 
Click to expand...
 
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