so damn... atljunkie has girl troubles vol. why me?

[atljunkie]

Without going into some huge story I'll sum it up quick...

So there is this female that I have been knowing for about 2+ years. We get along very well. We hang out about 1-3 times a week I'd say, but it depends. Iconsider her to be a good friend, yet I've caught feelings for her.

Now I am not one who catches feelings easily, but for some reason I have for her. When we hang out it's like a date. If you were a third party looking atus, you would most definitely think we were dating.

Sad thing is about 6 months ago I talked to her about it and got denied..

We then stopped talking for a good 2 months because things were weird. She endedup text messaging me randomly one day 2 months later.

Being shut down is a horrible feeling. She sometimes will text me she misses me and stuff, but it's weird cause we aren't dating, or she doesn'tmention anything about liking me... Long story short, my questions are as follows:


How could I get her to realize I want to date without actually stepping up to her? Obviously that's already failed.
How can I find out if she has relationship feelings for me without coming across as desperate.
or...
Have I already permanently lost this battle?

Any solid advice is appreciated.

 

[franchise3]

Defense wins championships.

When it comes to situations like this, dudes think being on the offensive is the way to go.

As a result, the girl gets weirded out, and things get awkward.

Your only hope is to shrug it all off and play that prevent defense.

Time will tell whether she's feeling you or not, as, she'll start contacting you out the blue. If a girl likes you, you'll know.

Go from there, and even then, you can't let your true colors show, as you'll just get back to square one.

Don't press the issue.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

You were in the friend zone. Point blank.

 

[ihavemyownopinion]

I would advise you to start hanging out with her again cause you might have a chance of getting her in time. If you're scared that it might not work outthat way then my only advise is to move on and find another chick.

 

[he told on me]

One of these days he told on me shall make a girl problem thread. I shall not be alone for long. One of these days i tell ya, one of these days.

 

[mangudai954]

Your still in the game

 

[frenchblue23]

Sounds like you guys are really good friends, and sounds like she's not feeling you in that way.

Once you start having feelings for her, it's over for you.
Jealousy and clingy-ness arise, and your friendship now turns into awkwardness.

 

[elpablo21]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

You were in the friend zone. Point blank.

Yeah it sounds like it. I mean if your upfront to her about your feelings and she still denies you. well you lost. move on

 

[atljunkie]

yea I still hang out with her. I just hung out with her last night actually. she still sends text messages. Things like that are still occurring.

 

[alchemiss]

Originally Posted by Mangudai954

Your still in the game

Basically.

I feel like she does like you that way, but shes scared of ruining the friendship and/or doesn't trust herself in relationships. Hopefully somehow itcomes up so she can talk about how shes really feeling.

 

[frenchblue23]

Originally Posted by atljunkie

yea I still hang out with her. I just hung out with her last night actually. she still sends text messages. Things like that are still occurring.

Have you hung out with her while she had a boyfriend?

 

[neptunebeats187]

Originally Posted by Elpablo21

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

You were in the friend zone. Point blank.

Yeah it sounds like it. I mean if your upfront to her about your feelings and she still denies you. well you lost. move on

Basically. No need to take another L, because the only way to find the answers to your questions about the situation you are in is to be upfront. I mean, ifyou got nothing to lose by all means.

 

[atljunkie]

Originally Posted by FrenchBlue23

Originally Posted by atljunkie

yea I still hang out with her. I just hung out with her last night actually. she still sends text messages. Things like that are still occurring.

Have you hung out with her while she had a boyfriend?

yea I have. I have never tried to physically get at her or anything though.
Even when she didn't have a bf like now, I still do not try physical warfare.

 

[2wenty thre3]

she obviously has some sort of feelings for you because she's texting you stuff like "i miss you"... but does she miss you as a friend or doesshe miss you as a potential bf... don't act desperate and make it seem like you got other options..

 

[supreme math]

Dude are you #$*#%@! blind?....Stay friends and remain platonic until that last minute when it's apparent she wants it. Female friends pay for everythingwhen they think it's platonic

 

[frenchblue23]

Originally Posted by atljunkie

Originally Posted by FrenchBlue23

Originally Posted by atljunkie

yea I still hang out with her. I just hung out with her last night actually. she still sends text messages. Things like that are still occurring.

Have you hung out with her while she had a boyfriend?

yea I have. I have never tried to physically get at her or anything though.
Even when she didn't have a bf like now, I still do not try physical warfare.

Then you let her make the first move, the more you avoid contact, and if she's feeling you, she'll make the first move.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by 2wenty thre3

she obviously has some sort of feelings for you because she's texting you stuff like "i miss you"... but does she miss you as a friend or does she miss you as a potential bf... don't act desperate and make it seem like you got other options..

IS that REALLY the truth? Females play all types of games man. Don't tell that boy that lie that she MUST have feelings for him cause that isn't trueat all

 

[joe mcknight is ballin]

whip it out

 

[chico dusty]

Maybe your just not attractive enought to be her dude ... no jokes. I'm just sayin. It happens.


& 2 + years means you got pics. This is NT. Lets see what you simpin fo'.

 

[frenchblue23]

It's hard man, to have a friendship with someone who u are catching feelings for, and even worse if you bring it up.

Fight it man, because once she knows you have feelings for her, she will use it to her advantage.

 

[atljunkie]

yea I feel all of this advice. Thanks for it all... even the blatantly honest stuff.

We went to the movies the other day, and I got the head on the shoulders.

We ate ice cream about a month ago and she was like "here try some of this" type deal and fed me the ice cream.

All this might sound corny, but aren't they signs of something?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by atljunkie

Originally Posted by FrenchBlue23

Originally Posted by atljunkie

yea I still hang out with her. I just hung out with her last night actually. she still sends text messages. Things like that are still occurring.

Have you hung out with her while she had a boyfriend?

yea I have. I have never tried to physically get at her or anything though.
Even when she didn't have a bf like now, I still do not try physical warfare.

Why are you hanging out with a girl that has a man?

 

[alchemiss]

Originally Posted by atljunkie

yea I feel all of this advice. Thanks for it all... even the blatantly honest stuff.

We went to the movies the other day, and I got the head on the shoulders.

We ate ice cream about a month ago and she was like "here try some of this" type deal and fed me the ice cream.

All this might sound corny, but aren't they signs of something?

Yes they are. In this situation it might be to your advantage to "play the game". Don't be cold to her, but at the same time don't makeyourself available. She obviously has thought about you being more than a friend; I stick to my original statement.. She most likely is insecure about herrelationship skills or scared of ruining the friendship. Hope it works out man, and that she puts her fears or doubts aside.

 

[atljunkie]

Originally Posted by FrenchBlue23

It's hard man, to have a friendship with someone who u are catching feelings for, and even worse if you bring it up.

Fight it man, because once she knows you have feelings for her, she will use it to her advantage.

To me sometimes it feels like she uses it to her advantage. No joke. That's why I don't come across as desperate or anything.

But nahhh, I'm way better looking than her ex bf. No bias.

 

[chico dusty]

Strengthen your pimp hand. As long as you let stuff like that happen, she'll do it. Grab your nuts & let her now that stuff gets to you in a way thats

uncomfortable because of the way you feel for her. If she's truly a friend & aint playin reindeer games, she'll respect your honesty & stay inher

lane. In the long run your honesty might pull her closer word to Neyo ...