Staying Friend with the Ex Vol. Is it possible?

[jjs]

What's up NTers,

When you get out of a serious relationship that lasted for a good amount of time (2-3 years), is it possible to stay friend with said girl?

My situation :

-Girl was my best friend.
-Started dating her 3 years ago.
-Now I don't know if I want to stay in this serious relationship (i'm still young and the past weeks have been tough too)

At this moment I just don't know.

One thing I am sure, I would like to keep in touch with her and her family.

Anyone had similar stories? or just advices or thoughts on the subject?


And for the one who are here to say stupid things, just don't.

 

[iblink]

Do you love her?

 

[nationaltruckerdave]

It's possible and it's cool.. But she'll get salty and possessive if she finds out you're gettin yambs from another chick

 

[purplenurple1414]

It's working for me. People say it's impossible but rational people can make anything work out.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Yes..but then it fade away..

 

[Deleted member 38182]

Ummmm it hasn't worked for me thus far.... 

 

[airthompson]

If y'all both are no longer mentally & sexually attracted, in other words wont care if they date other ppl, then yes. But there's always one of y'all that still will be, so no.

 

[Kev93]

Now I don't know if I want to stay in this serious relationship (i'm still young and the past weeks have been tough too)

So how is she your ex if your still with her? Pics?

 

[jay6jay]

No

 

[syxth element]

All guys know that they ONLY stay friends with exes in order to smash later down the line

 

[toast1985]

Me & my ex are good friends. We **** like we married too,

I know she still want me back, but I'm not on that.

 

[DrizzyNYC]

Going thru the same thing, she will be salty and hate on you getting yambs else where so keep that on the low around her. But doing things that way makes me feel like I'm still in the relationship and still cheating, so I can't win for losing really....

 

[Master Zik]

Yes but I'm not seeing pics so the answer might be no.

 

[jjs]

So how is she your ex if your still with her? Pics?

Just asking if it's possible.

We are together at the moment, I am just in that "I don't know what's up" right now.

And I ain't posting pics of her on here, I have to much respect for her to do that.

But if she was only another chicks, damn pics would be up here for sure.

 

[shatterkneesinc]

no
you made this thread because you want some sort of approval that it will work out

if you are doing the dumping and you really care about her, be fair to her and dont give her any false hope that can destroy her

 

[grandtheftbike]

I wanted to be just friends with mine but she was too attached emotionally to begin with so I had to dead her

It's not impossible but it's difficult as hell especially if you or her start seeing other people

 

[matt53]

So how is she your ex if your still with her? Pics?

Just asking if it's possible.

We are together at the moment, I am just in that "I don't know what's up" right now.

And I ain't posting pics of her on here, I have to much respect for her to do that.

But if she was only another chicks, damn pics would be up here for sure.

Well that does us no good.

 

[so nyuh shi dae]

it's not impossible but it doesn't seem like a good situation to put yourself in. i think it's difficult to get over someone unless you cut off communication with them. when you start seeing someone else, it could also be problematic then.

 

[jjs]

no
you made this thread because you want some sort of approval that it will work out
if you are doing the dumping and you really care about her, be fair to her and dont give her any false hope that can destroy her

I don't want to give her false hope, if I have to dump her, I really want to stay in touch with her.

I know it's going to be hard if I see other people and all... Damb decisions... decisions

For the ones who said it worked out, can you elaborate?

How do you approach the subject to begin with?

 

[jjs]

@purplenurple1414
@toast1985

More info? How did you do it? What's it like now?

 

[gustavo fring]

It's possible, but it depends on the person and the situation. Still great friends with an ex from high school, and at the same time I also don't want anything to do with an ex from last year.

 

[runningfishy]

It's not possible if you want to move on from it. If you remain attached in any way shape or form, you'll continue to develop these spiral type of thoughts.

3 years ain't easy, and it took me about a year to close the books on a 4-5 year relationship w/ my ex. She was very close to me, and we've been through a lot, but she decided to pursue others in such a way that hurt us. We were definitely close and good friends though. It was as if we were newly weds. Things weren't smoothe sailing towards the end, and I realized that if I continued to maintain such contact, I would never be able to move on. It's hard though, because you don't want to through away that relationship, but ours turned sour, and I just couldn't tolerate some things when we hung out. It was just weird.

Eventually I told her off, and have not talked to her since. I did run into her, and it was awkward, but no words were exchanged. You'll never be the same person, but you move on from it. Needless to say, I'm not as trusting as I once was.

 

[deletedelete]

the analogy i always use is that a breakup is like a wound. you have to leave it alone for some time and let it heal. if you keep picking at it by trying to remain friends, it's only going to get infected. give it some time, don't talk to each other for a little bit, and you guys can resume your friendship when the wound has healed.

 

[cashusclay]

the analogy i always use is that a breakup is like a wound. you have to leave it alone for some time and let it heal. if you keep picking at it by trying to remain friends, it's only going to get infected. give it some time, don't talk to each other for a little bit, and you guys can resume your friendship when the wound has healed.

This man knows. Listen to him. Trust me. I've been there. 

 

[jjs]

Thanks for the advice.

Any other similar stories? And how to approach the situation (if I decide to go this way, I don't want to tell her we can still be friend like a D***, because i really mean it)