TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

[youngdoc]

Couple questions:

Assuming you and your SO don't live together and things are serious - ideally, how often would you communicate (text message, phone call, FB, etc.)? Ideally, how often would you see each other? Is there a difference between how it actually goes down?

Varies weekly based on our schedules but on avg 3x a week. Talk every day. Text more but usually talk on the phone for a little bit the nights I don't sleep over.

She lives close (5 miles) so we would probably see each other close to every day if it wasn't for our schedules

 

[the goodlife]

This is why you keep options until you connect, so you don't let your immature, impatient, "macho" self get the best of you and scare off a good woman. Courting used to be a thing.


Even if she getting hers too, how can you really be mad if ya'll aint ****?

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(Long Term)Courting USED to be the thing.

Times have change. Females aint the same. Some females will have no shame talking and texting you all day for months on end while Tyronne putting in that work.

If we are both getting ours then that’s fine. But to talk for months and get nothing . Girl don’t waste my time.

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[youngdoc]

This is why you keep options until you connect, so you don't let your immature, impatient, "macho" self get the best of you and scare off a good woman. Courting used to be a thing.



Even if she getting hers too, how can you really be mad if ya'll aint ****?

(Long Term)Courting USED to be the thing.

Times have change. Females aint the same. Some females will have no shame talking and texting you all day for months on end while Tyronne putting in that work.

If we are both getting ours then that’s fine. But to talk for months and get nothing . Girl don’t waste my time.

Exactly.

This is why if I see potential I get into a relationship relatively quickly.

It was 6 weeks from our first date to officially together for my current gf.

 

[Chiron]

(Long Term)Courting USED to be the thing.

Times have change. Females aint the same. Some females will have no shame talking and texting you all day for months on end while Tyronne putting in that work.

If we are both getting ours then that’s fine. But to talk for months and get nothing . Girl don’t waste my time.

Agreed. Im not a teenager anymore. We are adult enough to do what we please. You aren't celibate. Its not the 1950s. That tells me
A. you have a reeeally low sex drive or are repulsed by intercourse (both deal breakers)
Or B. You arent sexually attracted to me. Psshhh on to the next.

 

[Mark Antony]

I don't see anything wrong with taking some time to get to know each other, but i'm weird, I don't date to date and get a gf just because. I see people jumping into relationships within weeks on and off like they're changing clothes. If I see serious potential, it's one and done, so what's a few months? Just spread your time so you don't run into any sexual frustration. Plus, if she gon **** she gon ****, word to Plies. I learn to let that go, can't go around worrying about being played all the time.

 

[Kaleo15]

My girl is gaining wright and I don't like it.

She cooks every night..I mean EVERY night
Big *** meals and ****. I'm a chef, i eat daily at work. I ate dinner once a week before I met her. Now i have a food budget because of her. We spend 100+ a week on home cooked meals. If she doesn't eat its the end of life for her fat ***.

She wants mussels in a white wine sauce tonight. $50 for everything to make it. IM NOT MADE OF MONEY.

Well how long have yall been together? And how much has she gained?

 

[3stheluckynumbe]

Talking about girls cooking...

When I got with my ex, she didn't even know how to make french fries. Literally. She still can't cook though lol but let her tell it, she's Giada status...

I'd rather a woman can cook over a woman who wants to eat out all the time.

 

[juangotti]

My girl never cooked. But once she got wit me i change that up real quick. Yeah its 2014 and ******* have that mentality that they dont have to cook. ***** please. We can go out to eat i aint trippin, but your *** better get down on that stove at least 3 times a wk.

The grill is my thing. I can grill anything from apples and pineapple to salmon and pizza. So she better be at least willing to cook wit love and follow recipes. Shiiiiiiiiiiiii

 

[mugen81]

****** mad because they are getting home cooked meals now..
[emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji]
I mean I understand if it's the extravangence of the meals and the holes it's creating in your pocket but I love coming home after school and work to my wife cooking. But we generally cooking for the week or every other day, eat on leftovers until my off day and I cook for her. As far as the weight and budget, it all goes back to communication and action. Every couple(at least if they live with each other) should have budgets(grocery, incidentals) for their household. These things should be discussed especially before moving in.
Now the weight thing should definately be handled with caution. Maybe after dinner take walks around your neighborhood( even though Wifey is pregnant, we do it to get fresh air). Maybe invite her out to the gym with you or plan outdoor activities on the weekend like bike riding, throwing the football around, etc..
Show genuine concern and encourage her. That post was laced with resentment. Talk to her my dude, that's the only way things can get better or problems can be resolved.
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️

 

[iamdef]

My girl is gaining wright and I don't like it.

She cooks every night..I mean EVERY night
Big *** meals and ****. I'm a chef, i eat daily at work. I ate dinner once a week before I met her. Now i have a food budget because of her. We spend 100+ a week on home cooked meals. If she doesn't eat its the end of life for her fat ***.

She wants mussels in a white wine sauce tonight. $50 for everything to make it. IM NOT MADE OF MONEY.

If weight gain is an issue create a couple of works y'all can do together. And y'all better learn how to cook cheaper meals. I get meals for$20 for three ball the time

 

[youngdoc]

mugen81 you should write a book. I'll read it as I approach marriage within the next few years.

 

[mugen81]

I keep thinking about blogging, just so everybody could have access to it.
I know it's bad when my wife's girls call her wanting to talk to me about situations they are in[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I don't know, sometimes I feel I should be the most jaded man on earth after all my heartbreaks but that sabbatical I had from yambs before my wife brought a lot of prospective on things.
Just glad I can help anyone that wants feedback, that's enough for me.
[emoji]128526[/emoji]

 

[tdogg2k]

Hell I'd follow, ,should just be like pod cast or somethin, drop knowledge take phone calls.

 

[Mark Antony]

I keep thinking about blogging, just so everybody could have access to it.
I know it's bad when my wife's girls call her wanting to talk to me about situations they are in[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I don't know, sometimes I feel I should be the most jaded man on earth after all my heartbreaks but that sabbatical I had from yambs before my wife brought a lot of prospective on things.
Just glad I can help anyone that wants feedback, that's enough for me.
[emoji]128526[/emoji]

Do it famb, i'd read. I could def see it being a popular relationship blog with the right partnerships.

 

[quell]

Sup yambily, I know I don't post much in here but this is a thread I check daily as most of us are the same. Too tough to post on mobile though (lazy statement of 2014) anyways, figuring you guys can give me some advice/thoughts on what I'm dealing with here - 

I dated this chick for about a year, I'm 26, shes 26, we actually worked together for a bit - say first 6 months of the relationship - both moved on to other jobs though - things were great, first girlfriend I had actually had since I was in high school - which is why I love this thread, think we're all similar in our ways, hell I never wanted kids or marriage or any of that **** until I met this girl, total game changer with her kind genuine ways,

So things were great when together, but I wont lie, when I drink I go completely over the top and cant stop - I'm still living like when I was a college kid at Arizona even in my older age. And I go out with friends, A LOT. She hated it, complained about it - and it was her only complaint. Things got rocky lets say 5 months ago....we broke up, still hung out though, talked a lot, hooked up, etc. I started seeing other girls and she started seeing other guys. About 2 months ago she came over, we went out for the day - she left, said she'd come back - never came back. Texted me saying she couldn't do this anymore. I was like the hell? But over time I understood. She hasn't responded to my texts or my calls since. But she sends me messages via her Twitter. It's one of the oddest things I've ever dealt with.

She's actually talking to/with this new guy. Funny thing is he has the same looks as me - beard, hairstyle, etc. But a lot older - like 35ish. I mean, safe to assume she is with the guy cause he's got similar features and is undoubtedly more mature than me.

But to break it down and go more in depth - she'll text my buddies I use to work with (two chinese kids I was tight with and she was at our old job) and ask how I'm doing, what I've been up to, etc, etc. My one buddy doesnt even respond, the other does and screenshots the convos. He'll ask her why she just doesnt text me if she wants to know and she'll deter the question. Its ******* weird guys. Crazy. But I love crazy.

Anyways, so this girl has been posting some Twitter stuff towards me (not @'ing me or anything, but she barely uses it and always used it as a way to send me messages/signals when things got rocky) lately - the other day she posted "Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person that would never hurt you" and today "Gestures, in love, are incomparably more attractive, effective and valuable than words" 

I assume these type of messages is cause I'll text her ****, even though I know she wont respond, and I'll even say it's getting a little over the top that she wont respond and stuff like that when I send these messages.

Now yeah, I know, its immature and a little crazy that she won't respond - nobody I know gets it which is why I ask here for advice and thoughts. Yeah I'm seeing other chicks but I don't like any of them the way I loved this girl, never have had feelings for a chick the way I have with her - I know I'll be fine if this doesn't work out, but I want it to work out - I'd actually give up the game for her ecook style. Just need that 50th chance haha.

So I gotta ask, what the hell is the right move? I'm perplexed by the "gestures" tweet today. Does that mean I send flowers to her work? Or what? What the hell is a gesture when she won't even respond?

 

[oidreez]

If she's seeing someone else, why are you trying to send flowers to her work? If she won't even respond to your messages or calls, why are you trying to go out of your way for her?

 

[Mark Antony]

Sup yambily, I know I don't post much in here but this is a thread I check daily as most of us are the same. Too tough to post on mobile though (lazy statement of 2014) anyways, figuring you guys can give me some advice/thoughts on what I'm dealing with here - 

I dated this chick for about a year, I'm 26, shes 26, we actually worked together for a bit - say first 6 months of the relationship - both moved on to other jobs though - things were great, first girlfriend I had actually had since I was in high school - which is why I love this thread, think we're all similar in our ways, hell I never wanted kids or marriage or any of that **** until I met this girl, total game changer with her kind genuine ways,

So things were great when together, but I wont lie, when I drink I go completely over the top and cant stop - I'm still living like when I was a college kid at Arizona even in my older age. And I go out with friends, A LOT. She hated it, complained about it - and it was her only complaint. Things got rocky lets say 5 months ago....we broke up, still hung out though, talked a lot, hooked up, etc. I started seeing other girls and she started seeing other guys. About 2 months ago she came over, we went out for the day - she left, said she'd come back - never came back. Texted me saying she couldn't do this anymore. I was like the hell? But over time I understood. She hasn't responded to my texts or my calls since. But she sends me messages via her Twitter. It's one of the oddest things I've ever dealt with.


She's actually talking to/with this new guy. Funny thing is he has the same looks as me - beard, hairstyle, etc. But a lot older - like 35ish. I mean, safe to assume she is with the guy cause he's got similar features and is undoubtedly more mature than me.

But to break it down and go more in depth - she'll text my buddies I use to work with (two chinese kids I was tight with and she was at our old job) and ask how I'm doing, what I've been up to, etc, etc. My one buddy doesnt even respond, the other does and screenshots the convos. He'll ask her why she just doesnt text me if she wants to know and she'll deter the question. Its ******* weird guys. Crazy. But I love crazy.

Anyways, so this girl has been posting some Twitter stuff towards me (not @'ing me or anything, but she barely uses it and always used it as a way to send me messages/signals when things got rocky) lately - the other day she posted "Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person that would never hurt you" and today "Gestures, in love, are incomparably more attractive, effective and valuable than words" 

I assume these type of messages is cause I'll text her ****, even though I know she wont respond, and I'll even say it's getting a little over the top that she wont respond and stuff like that when I send these messages.

Now yeah, I know, its immature and a little crazy that she won't respond - nobody I know gets it which is why I ask here for advice and thoughts. Yeah I'm seeing other chicks but I don't like any of them the way I loved this girl, never have had feelings for a chick the way I have with her - I know I'll be fine if this doesn't work out, but I want it to work out - I'd actually give up the game for her ecook style. Just need that 50th chance haha.

So I gotta ask, what the hell is the right move? I'm perplexed by the "gestures" tweet today. Does that mean I send flowers to her work? Or what? What the hell is a gesture when she won't even respond?

So she's dating you plus the things she wanted, maturity and stability. Her caring doesn't mean she wants you back, not right now atleast. There's NOTHING you can do to get her back now, everything you think of doing now can only push her away. Your real only option is to keep it moving and become better, grow to become the person you should be, the one her and every other woman would want to be with. Who knows what the future holds, but for all intents and purposes it's over, stop reading into everything she writes like a crazy person.

 

[kevlar]

Real talk it seems that both of ya have immature tendencies and may need time to grow with out each other. Her communication issues will continue in the relationship so it's best to go Casper for a minute and let her actually miss you. Instead of giving her the attention she's always craving but doesn't reciprocate.

 

[quell]

True true. I can respect all 3 of the responses. Yeah guess it is a little crazy of me to look into it, or atleast give her what she wants by looking deep into it. Obviously I know how she is/who she is and know I hurt her bad, so I guess thats why I look into it deep and feel bad/want her back. Shes not the type to mess around with multiple dudes - but is needy so I understand the reason why she's been going out with this guy, posting it on Facebook and stuff to clearly throw it in my face. Doesn't make me trip that much really but obviously still sucks to see. 

I agree with what you say though Mark. I do need to work on my maturity before I try to get her back. Just feel like lately shes posting a lot of messages because she misses me. She also posted some picture saying "I miss you, I miss my best friend" type stuff. But deleted it next day, guessing one of her friends called her out 

 but who knows. I had it planned to work on myself for awhile but I don't know, I'm over the broken heart phase and have loved going out lately - I am very mentally strong I just have my vices, but know I can flip it like a light switch if needby. But yeah, planned on waiting awhile and penning her something explaining what I've been up to and how I've fixed myself (me and my cousin opened our own business so I've been busy as hell lately, huge life change too) - but dunno. 

Appreciate the replies so far though, havent gotten much from any of my boys or even girls besides "forget her"

 

[quell]

Well I guess in a way, just looking for advice on how you guys would go about it - are flowers a good idea? Never done anything like that before, and to be honest - I have nothing to lose so what steps should I go with?

 

[randy nota loka]

No. Keep it moving.

 

[tomdiginson]

True true. I can respect all 3 of the responses. Yeah guess it is a little crazy of me to look into it, or atleast give her what she wants by looking deep into it. Obviously I know how she is/who she is and know I hurt her bad, so I guess thats why I look into it deep and feel bad/want her back. Shes not the type to mess around with multiple dudes - but is needy so I understand the reason why she's been going out with this guy, posting it on Facebook and stuff to clearly throw it in my face. Doesn't make me trip that much really but obviously still sucks to see. 

I agree with what you say though Mark. I do need to work on my maturity before I try to get her back. Just feel like lately shes posting a lot of messages because she misses me. She also posted some picture saying "I miss you, I miss my best friend" type stuff. But deleted it next day, guessing one of her friends called her out   but who knows. I had it planned to work on myself for awhile but I don't know, I'm over the broken heart phase and have loved going out lately - I am very mentally strong I just have my vices, but know I can flip it like a light switch if needby. But yeah, planned on waiting awhile and penning her something explaining what I've been up to and how I've fixed myself (me and my cousin opened our own business so I've been busy as hell lately, huge life change too) - but dunno. 

Appreciate the replies so far though, havent gotten much from any of my boys or even girls besides "forget her"

How about you don't tell her ****. You already know she is asking about you, so let her find out on her own.

 

[Mark Antony]

We all been through it, so we all know he's in that stage where he won't listen, thinks his situation is "different".

 

[phuzzy badpheet]

My bad

 

[quell]

We all been through it, so we all know he's in that stage where he won't listen, thinks his situation is "different".

Nah, I get it. Just a good place to vent (we all hope we hear what we want to hear, but when you don't its reassuring). Preciate the replies