the thread about nothing...

[kdawg]

 

[tr1ll]

I read a book this week. Didn't think I had it in me.

 

[darthska]

You know what really grinds my gears? When people put more energy into appearing to listen instead of actually listening. They so busy trying to repeat back to you, they dont even hear what you're saying.

I've observed that people LISTEN for 2 reasons:
1. To relate. "Oh I know what you mean, totally. I went through that same exact thing... well, not like exact but like pretty close... I mean closeish... anyways here's what happened to me..."
And now they've hijacked the convo.

2. To fix. (self-explanatory)

Both are extremely frustrating to me because I've observed that people SHARE for mostly 1 reason:

1. To be heard.

 

[tr1ll]

I've observed that people listen for 2 reasons:
1. To relate. "Oh I know what you mean, totally. I went through that same exact thing... well, not like exact but like pretty close... I mean closeish... anyways here's what happened to me..."
And now they've hijacked the convo.

2. To fix. (self-explanatory)

Both are extremely frustrating to me because in another observation of mine, I've observed that people share for mostly 1 reason:

1. To be heard.

Ironic, isn't it? Thats why I completely stopped trying to relate to people's stories. I just nod and give supporting statements.

 

[darthska]

Wordle 979 3/6




Forgot yesterday.

 

[maq25060]

I've observed that people listen for 2 reasons:
1. To relate. "Oh I know what you mean, totally. I went through that same exact thing... well, not like exact but like pretty close... I mean closeish... anyways here's what happened to me..."
And now they've hijacked the convo.

2. To fix. (self-explanatory)

Both are extremely frustrating to me because in another observation of mine, I've observed that people share for mostly 1 reason:

1. To be heard.

I'm in FULL agreement with your observation on conversations. I know I'm guilty big time of "trying to relate".

And my wife swears I can't listen without offering a solution.

So I ask, what is the appropriate way to engage in convo? "Man, that's crazy" only works for so long.

 

[SC kid]

I read a book this week. Didn't think I had it in me.

What book?

 

[tr1ll]

I'm in FULL agreement with your observation on conversations. I know I'm guilty big time of "trying to relate".

And my wife swears I can't listen without offering a solution.

So I ask, what is the appropriate way to engage in convo? "Man, that's crazy" only works for so long.

Empathy. Instead of offering a solution, agree with the sentiment. “Yea that sounds frustrating…”, “I know, right?” Ect.

What book?

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. It also taught me what “inspired by” means vs “adaptation”.

 

[maq25060]

Empathy. Instead of offering a solution, agree with the sentiment. “Yea that sounds frustrating…”, “I know, right?” Ect.

I hear ya. Imo, that empathy angle falls into the "Man, thats crazy" response category. Again, it only works for so long.

But at the same time, I get the idea. Most of the time when people are talking, or more specifically venting, they just want a sounding board. Someone to listen.

 

[c flyness]

 

[usernamepun]

Empathy. Instead of offering a solution, agree with the sentiment. “Yea that sounds frustrating…”, “I know, right?” Ect.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. It also taught me what “inspired by” means vs “adaptation”.

I almost couldn’t finish that book. Great ideas, rough writing. Good on you for getting through!

 

[c flyness]

 

[darthska]

I hear ya. Imo, that empathy angle falls into the "Man, thats crazy" response category. Again, it only works for so long.

But at the same time, I get the idea. Most of the time when people are talking, or more specifically venting, they just want a sounding board. Someone to listen.

You're right at the precipice of what I think makes a reaaaallllly great friend, and that is quickly learn if someone who is confiding in you is just wanting to vent or looking for help in problem solving. And sometimes what started off with one intention may gravitate to another.

But to answer your initial question to me, we use the phrase "Man that's crazy" as a much shorter version of I'm not reading all that but I'm happy for you or sorry that happened.
I've found that one of the common difficulties that people have with how to respond is in thinking that they need to respond at all. Sometimes the most helpful tactic in being a helpful listener is to just... listen. "If i'm not problem solving and I'm not here to relate, I don't really know what else to say."

A wise man once said nothing.

(Not saying you should start sitting there mute. Just saying it's one of many helpful strategies. )

 

[kdawg]

Wordle 980 X/6








That was annoying. Nearly used that as my third guess but I thought there were other more likely words.

 

[darthska]

Wordle 980 X/6








That was annoying. Nearly used that as my third guess but I thought there were other more likely words.

Wordle 980 X/6








II HHAATTEE TTHHIISS GGAAMMEE!!

 

[jpzx]

Ken Adams!

 

[Beruseruku Desu]

 

[brian8598]

this is the "Power Slap" of fast food

How does this look disgusting and delicious at the same time? Not a KFC near me that can even consistently provide regular chicken in less than 25 minutes, so I know whatever they whip up is gonna be SUPER trash anyway.

 

[southernhospita]

Why the **** was it called the Steve Harvey Show
But the main character was Steve Hightower

 

[sneeker]

Ken Adams!

I love this episode. possibly the best episode for me.

 

[OrangeBlueGarden]

Can you put Italian pork sausage in spaghetti? I’m thinking about going to Target there’s a sale on it $2.99

 

[calibeebee]

Can you put Italian pork sausage in spaghetti? I’m thinking about going to Target there’s a sale on it $2.99

This is literally the only way I’ve made spaghetti in the last 20 years.

 

[OrangeBlueGarden]

This is literally the only way I’ve made spaghetti in the last 20 years.

r u serious? I usually only use ground beef

 

[calibeebee]

r u serious? I usually only use ground beef

Dead serious. Tried Italian sausage when I was 18 or 19. Now ground beef tastes disgusting to me in spaghetti.

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

I use ground beef in the sauce and Italian sausage for the meatballs