What Incentive Do Men Have To Get Married?

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

So because marriage today on a Macro level is a business venture People as a whole are supposed to look at marriage as such and not as what it is meant to be?I REFUSE to let what has become socially acceptable be the way I view things... Marriage in its current state is not the way people should look at it, IMO.



Deciding to not get married because its a risk financially and business wise and not because of your feelings about another person = choosing to major insomething in college because its makes a lot of money and not because its something you enjoy and want to do the rest of your life.

 

[ldj]

RamZs8906 wrote:

---

Originally Posted by LDJ

RamZs8906 wrote:

---

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.



So because marriage today on a Macro level is a business venture People as a whole are supposed to look at marriage as such and not as what it is meant to be? I REFUSE to let what has become socially acceptable be the way I view things... Marriage in its current state is not the way people should look at it, IMO.



Deciding to not get married because its a risk financially and business wise and not because of your feelings about another person = choosing to major in something in college because its makes a lot of money and not because its something you enjoy and want to do the rest of your life.

See again your going offa th principal of what something should be or how things should be ideally. Ideally ppl of all race should get along, and be able tofeel secure safe anywhere. But in reality a black man cant take that mindset and say hey imma go to a racist redneck town known for lynching etc, and say oh itideally should be all love and harmonious. Then when you in a casket now what.

You right it shouldnt be the way it is, but guess what IT IS WHAT IT IS. We ideally shouldnt have money for wars but yet none for poors. We can go on and onand make a litany of situations where things should be this way or would be best that way. But things are how they are. And with that being said all im sayingis view things for what they are and not for what you wish they where. or do something that will promote change. And with trends and how things are in itscurrent state. It isnt happening.

And just because you feel a certain way you do not know if the same will go for your sig other. Its all a chance just like a business venture. All im statingis the facts and advantages/disadvantages and the cause and effects. How you view them apply them to your immediate life is all on you. But to totally dismissthem isnt being realistic and true. And going into a situation being whimsical is a recipe for failure.

 

[dirtylicious]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

but that's what marriage is to other people.
YOU as a couple define what marriage is...not anyone else.

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

but that's what marriage is to other people.
YOU as a couple define what marriage is...not anyone else.

Thank you for helping me clarify my point Dirty.

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Can you get JR5 to give me my Avy ability back.

 

[third]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

but that's what marriage is to other people.
YOU as a couple define what marriage is...not anyone else.

see now that statement within it self holds contradictions in that you may think that marriage is non financial movefor both of you as a couple.......... but what you are failing to look at is that the other person's opinion of what marriage is
By this i mean your spouse.
I'll ask you this if marriage had nothing to do with finances then why is it that ALL women look at a men'searning potential as one of their screening categories in determining a mate!

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by third

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

but that's what marriage is to other people.
YOU as a couple define what marriage is...not anyone else.

see now that statement within it self holds contradictions in that you may think that marriage is non financial movefor both of you as a couple .......... but what you are failing to look at is that the other person's opinion of what marriage is
By this i mean your spouse.
I'll ask you this if marriage had nothing to do with finances then why is it that ALL women look at a men's earning potential as one of their screening categories in determining a mate!

I believe you're terribly misinformed. SOME Females really do consider someone's earning potential when dating, let along marryingsomeone. Because to get married or marry someone without a plan, or a way to provide for the household that you and your spouse and children is stupid.

Women want someone whom they can feel protected under. They also don't want someone who is a bum not reaching any goals.
That said, many females are ridiculous in how they assess how much a man makes and equate that to them being a great husband or not.

It's not earning potential that many WOMEN are concerned with in choosing a partner, but it is the ability to strive, attain goals, andprovide for a family that they are concerned with.

It's basic reasoning on a woman's part (those who actually are women and think that way) A Man who is making more money can provide more for her andthe family. Now, it doesn't mean someone making 6 figures is a better husband than someone who is making 5, it just means he can financially sustain afamily easier than the man making 5 figures can.

 

[ldj]

RamZs8906 wrote:

---

Originally Posted by third

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by LDJ

RamZs8906 wrote:

---

LDJ I understand you're married, and I understand there are certain things that takes place financially as a result of becoming bonded with another person in marriage....

But I can't take anything you've said seriously because you compared marriage to Magic Johnson's business endeavors.

That's part of the problem with people nowadays. Money should never be the focus of any decisions you make. It will lead you to being wealthy but miserable, unless of course you're one of those people who believe that if you have money you don't need anything else to be happy.

What i am saying is that marriage in its current state, it is a business venture. Ppl are getting married on reality shows. Folks are putting clauses and deal breakers etc in mariage like athletic contracts. Marriages have stipens bonuses clauses. If it was simple two ppl who love care devote one another you wouldnt have attorneys etc who go to school for yrs and specialize in marriages/divorces etc.

but that's what marriage is to other people.
YOU as a couple define what marriage is...not anyone else.

see now that statement within it self holds contradictions in that you may think that marriage is non financial movefor both of you as a couple .......... but what you are failing to look at is that the other person's opinion of what marriage is
By this i mean your spouse.
I'll ask you this if marriage had nothing to do with finances then why is it that ALL women look at a men's earning potential as one of their screening categories in determining a mate!




I believe you're terribly misinformed. SOME Females really do consider someone's earning potential when dating, let along marrying someone. Because to get married or marry someone without a plan, or a way to provide for the household that you and your spouse and children is stupid.

Women want someone whom they can feel protected under. They also don't want someone who is a bum not reaching any goals.
That said, many females are ridiculous in how they assess how much a man makes and equate that to them being a great husband or not.

It's not earning potential that many WOMEN are concerned with in choosing a partner, but it is the ability to strive, attain goals, and provide for a family that they are concerned with.

It's basic reasoning on a woman's part (those who actually are women and think that way) A Man who is making more money can provide more for her and the family. Now, it doesn't mean someone making 6 figures is a better husband than someone who is making 5, it just means he can financially sustain a family easier than the man making 5 figures can.
but it is the ability to strive, attain goals, and provide for a family that they are concerned with.

A Man who is making more money can provide more for her and the family. Now, it doesn't mean someone making 6 figures is a better husband than someonewho is making 5, it just means he can financially sustain a family easier than the man making 5 figures can.

See exactly my point. In my day when we got married all that matter was love. And ppl now say well thats all cool and all but love cant buy things pay billsetc. I grew up in segregation, two wars, a depression, etc. a time where it was damn near impossible to go to college let alone go and get multiple degrees.Ppl got married whether they had a pot 2 pi$$ in and a pan 2 $#it in. They didnt care about earning power or potential (see my reference to athletes)

It didnt have anything about what u have. what u gonna have, or what potentionally u could have. It was all about to ppl who had a mutual love respect andadmiration for one another. PERIOD.... If yall theories and so called ideals are so great why so many failures. Why so many broken homes?

The other thing is how can u have an opinion, or solution for something you havent experienced and have no working knowledge of. Thats like me saying oh sincei have kids, i know how it feels to give birth. I just dont see how someone mid 20's etc can comment about marriage a life long journey when you justbeginning to live life yourself.

Kinda reminds me of ppl talking about how it is to be a parent when they dont even have kids or they have like a 16 month old. Try telling me about that whenyou have a 16 YEAR OLD.

All im saying is ppl are going off opinions ideals, unrealistic viewpoints and perspectives all which they have not an inkling of what marriage is about.

I can speak on marriage of the past and in its current state. Because ive been through both. So i can make the comparison. Im just backing up what i know to betrue seeing been married, and just adding stats, which are facts to back up what im saying.

Like i said you guys are just going offa idealogies and fairytale dreams etc... Iuno i just find it amusing some ppl stating how marriage is just because theybeen in a 3 -4 yr casual dating relationship etc. Then try to say its there own ideas im getting married practicing my ideas beliefs.

Hello for the most part just keeping it real this current generation really has no ideas, has no identity. In a world of unoriginality aka retroing fashion,rehashing movies, remaking tv shows of the past. Improving ideas/inventions already created. Whether ppl wanna admit it or not, i hate to say ppl are sheepsbut i mean come on.

When i grew up i didnt blog, hit chat sites etc, and get opinions thoughts/views on how to handle different day-to-day situations ala what do you think ofgoing to the club solo, what do you think of wifing a stripper.

Whether you believe or choose to ignore them, marriage in its current stae is a business arragement. You can go into it with love etc... both parties can. Butat the end of the day its still a BUSINESS. That is like saying if i love what i do for a living it isnt a job since i love it. Thats BS

Cause at the end of the day whatever your intentions or heart may lie with marriage (just like business) There are certain penalties ramifications, formisconduct etc... things going astray. And those infractions moreso then often benefit woman.

Its a whole new day and time and the whole better or worst idea the main principle of marriage is lost. If you aint $#it aint got $#it and all you have is agood heart and soul. And is a deeply profound person who will and is a loving person a devouted person etc. And think you gonna find someone just off thoseprinciples(or find someone who will love you just off the merits and moral fibers of who you are.) in todays society, you are a gotam fool.

 

[marlsj]

Originally Posted by Freshsince1982

Oh and I got engaged Dec 16

Congrats.