Whats a guy to do? (relationship problem)

198
10
Joined Jul 28, 2009
My girl and i have just passed our 2 years anniversary.. but things are way more different now.. especially in the last few months..
we're living together right now.. so.. as a guy.. u know its hard to control yourself..
thing is.. over a year ago we used to have sex regularly.. although she has been showing signs she doesnt like it..
and after a big fight a month ago where we almost broke up, she said she doesnt ever want to have sex again. (not til marriage anyways)
she says she just doesnt feel right doing it pre-marriage.. (she came from a conservative family)
we eventually got back together.. but this no-sex thing has been killing me.. and we're living together!

i'd love to drop her and find another girl.. but she's got such a special place in my heart.. she's just great, kind hearted, caring girl
other than the no-sex.. she's pretty much the best gf ever.. never complains.. accompanies me wherever i want, eats whatever i choose..
cooks, cleans up the house, takes care of things and shows up whenever i need her.. a really sweet girl, wifey-material.
its harder knowing you've had sex with her before.. but now its off-limits..

so what is there to do? pick a great partner with no sex? or lose the great girl and find someone else?
 

wkn916

formerly l2icel3oi9i6
3,830
18
Joined Apr 6, 2008
reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
 
16,775
611
Joined Jan 8, 2005
I swear you dudes have the most simplistic problems. Cohabitation is/was disliked for a reason. You don't really have all your ducks in a row some of the time prior to moving in prior to marriage.

Anyway, if you care about this girl, then wait it out. Why did you two move in so early anyway? I could see if you two had some years behind you but man.

I say don't cheat. Something else that I interesting... I didn't see the word LOVE not ONCE.
what are you dudes doing out there?

You seem new here. So I'll put you on to 1 key thing. Most people will tell you to cheat.
 
14,400
241
Joined Feb 5, 2009
Hmmm.......
Something isn't adding up to me sir.You say she was showing signs that she didn't like it (sex)...............that was PRIOR to the "big fight" right?.................and after the................."big fight" she just comes out (no pun) and says she doesn't want it until marriage?
How and at what point was she displaying her dislike for the sex?Did she enjoy it early on in the relationship?
 
198
10
Joined Jul 28, 2009
Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
 
198
10
Joined Jul 28, 2009
Originally Posted by Ruxxx

Hmmm.......
Something isn't adding up to me sir.You say she was showing signs that she didn't like it (sex)...............that was PRIOR to the "big fight" right?.................and after the................."big fight" she just comes out (no pun) and says she doesn't want it until marriage?
How and at what point was she displaying her dislike for the sex?Did she enjoy it early on in the relationship?
Early in the relationship was probably cause we're both pretty passionate about each other, our heads all into the relationship.
So it seemed to be fine. After a while there were subtle signs that she didnt enjoy it as much as i did..
Things like saying she didnt feel good about herself knowing she lost it pre-marriage.. and comparing with her friends and stuff.
But we still had a sexual relationship, cause she wanted to keep my happy i guess..
During the fight she was mad honest.. and told me sometimes she delayed coming to bed just because she wanted to avoid it so badly..
 
7,144
1,149
Joined Aug 23, 2003
Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
its official. shes creepin and feels guilty so shes telling u to get with the program 
 
19,463
6,070
Joined Apr 15, 2007
Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
its official. shes creepin and feels guilty so shes telling u to get with the program 
THIS!
 
16,775
611
Joined Jan 8, 2005
Originally Posted by Jking0821

Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
its official. shes creepin and feels guilty so shes telling u to get with the program 
THIS!
OR she is trying to see how loyal a hungry dog really is.
 
8,779
10
Joined Aug 24, 2006
Originally Posted by rafsjays



yea right...find another girl on the side...then you won't even want to smash your girl...in return, even though she doesn't know you're smashing on the side, she gonna wanna smash.
 

ScroogeMcBuckz

formerly aceboogie
5,476
930
Joined May 31, 2004
Clearly you two are on different pages as far as premarital sex is concerned.

Your compromising for her sake when you really don't want to, and i'm sure she teases on the regular.

Unless you plan on putting a ring on her finger soon, let her go. At least keep it real instead of flatout cheating.

Who knows, if she's into you like that she might just loosen up.
 
198
10
Joined Jul 28, 2009
Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
its official. shes creepin and feels guilty so shes telling u to get with the program 
It probably sounds that way when I type these things online, but trust me, i would bet every thing i have to bet that she is not cheating.
it's just not in her character..
plus we're living together.. i know where she is every single day, her friends, and she's usually at school or work.. so..
we can probably rule out that she is cheating.
 
12,674
5,280
Joined Jun 4, 2008
How conservative is this girl if shes living with her man out of wedlock?
 
2,961
592
Joined May 31, 2007
Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

Originally Posted by leonard109

Originally Posted by l2icel3oi9i6

reverse the situation on her. get her revved up but refuse to give her the D and she'll eventually go against her words
i tried.. but she's real good at keeping her words. She just doesnt seem to have a need or care about it at all..

regarding the cheating.. here's the interesting thing.
she's been telling me.. if you see someone out there that is better.. go for it.

but it's kinda like a reverse psychology thing.. the more she says that.. the less i'll feel like cheating.
it's funny.. i hate girls that are sticky and call you all the time for every single damn thing. Probably drop the girl in a day.
but when a girl like mine comes along and gives you all the space and freedom.. she's always ok when i have to ditch her for something else, or if we're unable to go with a preplanned dinner or something. the opposite effect happens and you want to be there for her more.
its official. shes creepin and feels guilty so shes telling u to get with the program 
It probably sounds that way when I type these things online, but trust me, i would bet every thing i have to bet that she is not cheating.
it's just not in her character..
plus we're living together.. i know where she is every single day, her friends, and she's usually at school or work.. so..
we can probably rule out that she is cheating.
What she really means is "Hey. I'm kind of insecure.  I dont think I'm good enough for you but I like you so much that I wouldn't want to hold you back from anything.  And please leave me before you cheat on me."

Personally, I never heard of a cheater that cuts off her dude completely so I'd be inclined to rule that out..

Its your call OP.. I'd say go semi-"grimey" and get her a promise ring or somethin.  Might be able to manage some B-day BJs.. 
 
1,684
13
Joined Sep 10, 2009
Originally Posted by Diego

How conservative is this girl if shes living with her man out of wedlock?

exactly...i was thinking the same thing

OP tell her u got saved and had a change of heart on living together n say u bouncin when the lease up

go as far as trying to plan out the immediate future together on future living arrangements, once she sees u aint playin she may come around
 
19,463
6,070
Joined Apr 15, 2007
Most girls that are this conservative still understand that guys have needs. My friends gf is mormon (i know nothing about their religion) but he says they can't have pre marital sex but she still gives him HJ's and BJ's. Girls know if they aren't giving it and the guy isn't complaining that they are prob getting it from some where else.

Your best bet is to get a jump off smash her on the regular and then when you get caught blame her say "if you would have done this i wouldn't have wondered" then say how much you love her blah blah blah and things should blow over. If she doesn't start after that repeat. If she dumps you o well but seems like she will do anything for you as you stated earlier. So you should be able to get away with a lot.
 
Top Bottom