Why is it impossible to start new friendships...

[serotonins]

Having the confidence to go up to someone and start small talk, then hopefully they will give you their social media or # within a few mins is one of the most terrifying things to do.

Im not talking about nightlife in clubs or bars. I'm talking about daytime public approaches. starbucks, the mall, at a convenience store for example.

Share on how you've developed friendships from random public encounters.

I guess join a club or a social gathering with similar interests.. but thats not really my cup of tea.

 

[tr1ll]

I don’t. I’m 36, if you’re not I’m my inner circle by now, it’s more than likely not happening. The only people I even consider letting in now are “special” women.

My outer circle consists of work friends from a past job that started a fantasy football league. I just do it to be social. Maybe make some worthwhile connections. These people are cool, but they’re not THAT cool, and they’re cool enough to understand that.

 

[jking0821]

I think one key is def joining local social events. Mainly sports teams.
I understand the difficulty. I went to college in a different state then got a job and moved home. A lot of my "good friends" live far away now. And i don't really socialize with co-workers since most of them are way older then me. I stay in touch with my friends on the regular but i do miss the good old days of having 2-3 good friends right around the corner to chill with play video games with etc.

 

[freakydestroyer]

Because when you get older you realize there is not much loyalty in this world.

 

[wr]

People get older, lazy and nostalgic about their older childhood friendships and compare everyone else to that.

Gotta realize it's easy to become friends with people youre forceds to be around for years. Making friends outside of your bubble in life is the true challenge.

 

[calibeebee]

The thought of a stranger approaching me at Starbucks and asking if they wanna be friends on social media and in real life

 

[Grine]

I've joined professional organizations and community outreach programs. I've met some great people and actually became apart of my inner circle. For me, I"m very selective and social awkward. To find someone that actually can vibe with me, is a person I like to keep around even if it's they're associates.

 

[equality]

Moving countries twice in 3 years has made this super hard for me. Naturally introverted and enjoying my solitude also doesn't help

 

[eracism]

You all alone in these streets, cousin

 

[beh235]

I don’t. I’m 36, if you’re not I’m my inner circle by now, it’s more than likely not happening. The only people I even consider letting in now are “special” women.

This

Because when you get older you realize there is not much loyalty in this world.

And as you get older, you realize people in general are full of ****

 

[atlsfinest]

There's a lot of research on this very topic. The older you get, the harder it is to establish platonic friendships. For most people they make the majority of their friends early on in life and the speaks typically in college or early 20s.

Unfortunately as you get older, you get busier , your life becomes more of a routine and you have less and less time to spend with friends. People are trying to achieve their goals, advance in their careers, better themselves, etc. This only gets worse once you and your friend group start having kids. the key difference as you get older it's just a lack of time you have to lay around and BS.

I have friends I've known for years that I go months without speaking to or seeing (this has a lot to do with the fact that I live on the West Coast and most of my family and friends are in the south). Once I go back home, we link up and it's like I never left.

Honestly, there are no tips that's just part of life as you get older.

 

[Wargames]

I mean your best chance is becoming legitimate friends with someone from work, or becoming good friends with a friend of a friend.

Also, it depends on your personality. Extroverted people can usually make build camaraderie easier than introverts.

The best tip I can give somebody for making friends is learning how to tell jokes. If you make people laugh they will want to be around you more.

 

[Sharpshoeter13]

Moving countries twice in 3 years has made this super hard for me. Naturally introverted and enjoying my solitude also doesn't help

This...

(My situation is kind of similar)

It's my third time moving here in the States. I know some of my friends are still here but I've never made an effort on asking them if we could hangout or whatnot (and it's been a year since my move, too). What's weird is that they're still active on social media liking my posts but never commented on any of it.

Same goes with my coworkers. I don't think I'll be hanging out with any of them unless it's an office gathering that I'm "encouraged" to attend to.

It's probably my fault, but I just got old and became selective with the people I want to be associated with. I'm much more close with my friends back home and it sucks cuz there have been so many things that have happened which I couldn't relate with.

I guess being alone isn't bad at all; I've devoted my time going to the gym frequently and learning how to cook, too.

 

[D Fly]

I don’t. I’m 36, if you’re not I’m my inner circle by now, it’s more than likely not happening.

This.

And as you get older, you realize people in general are full of ****

Also this.

 

[getback]

Unfortunately as you get older, you get busier , your life becomes more of a routine and you have less and less time to spend with friends. People are trying to achieve their goals, advance in their careers, better themselves, etc. This only gets worse once you and your friend group start having kids. the key difference as you get older it's just a lack of time you have to lay around and BS.

This. I think Americans generally get pretty complacent in all facets of life. As we age we sort of get stuck in the flow of work, relationships, family and so on.

When we're younger we're constantly changing environments (schools, sports teams, summer jobs, cliques) and meeting new people more often than when we're older. Think about all the free time you had too.

When we're younger we also have several "firsts." First fist fight, sexual experience, death, experimentation with drugs. Those intimate moments usually create lasting bonds as opposed to when you're older and routines are hella monotonous.

Crazy to think about actually. When I reflect on when I was in middle school I can remember always being excited to go on AIM and initiate conversations and try to start relationships with random people. Some of those relationships still exist today.

Sad how complacent we get.

 

[jjs]

I already have a small circle and still I wish I had more time to spend with my friends / family.

I don't need new friends and I don't have time for new friends.

 

[vietster]

I don’t even have enough time to be out here making friends. After work, it’s hanging with my gf, my son, my fam, play ball. Besides, I live in an area where everybody is toxic (DC/NoVA)...people will only associate with you if they see you as beneficial

 

[getback]

It's always a breath of fresh air when some random person sparks a conversation with no ulterior motives. Just a compliment or comment about sports or something that leads to a little convo we don't usually get as adults.

 

[atlsfinest]

This. I think Americans generally get pretty complacent in all facets of life. As we age we sort of get stuck in the flow of work, relationships, family and so on.

When we're younger we're constantly changing environments (schools, sports teams, summer jobs, cliques) and meeting new people more often than when we're older. Think about all the free time you had too.

When we're younger we also have several "firsts." First fist fight, sexual experience, death, experimentation with drugs. Those intimate moments usually create lasting bonds as opposed to when you're older and routines are hella monotonous.

Crazy to think about actually. When I reflect on when I was in middle school I can remember always being excited to go on AIM and initiate conversations and try to start relationships with random people. Some of those relationships still exist today.

Sad how complacent we get.

I don't think it's a uniquely American thing, I think this is something that people around the world experience. The older you get, the more you focus on yourself, your career and your family. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

I definitely think that's social media leads people to believe that their friends are always getting together and hanging out because he see pictures of them on Facebook, Twitter, etc. That's the first time they've hung out that person in months in some cases. most adults are in the same situation you're in, asking the same questions you're asking.

 

[getback]

I don't think it's a uniquely American thing, I think this is something that people around the world experience.

This is true. I'm unfairly critical of this country

 

[Chiron]

Take a few classes at the local university. Might cost you a little but for a few hundred you have an automatic in for some new peeps who might end up in good positions to hook you up later

 

[Mark Antony]

It's probably my fault, but I just got old and became selective with the people I want to be associated with. I'm much more close with my friends back home and it sucks cuz there have been so many things that have happened which I couldn't relate with.

 

[atlsfinest]

I'm in the military, and I made a lot of new friends when I move to my first permanent Duty Station in Washington state. I was away from my family and friends back east for the first time and so I was forced to get to know new people. Fortunately for me, there were hundreds of other people in the same situation.

When you're deployed, you're forced to interact with people in ways that you don't when you can go home at the end of the day. As much as deployments suck, I had some great times and made some lifelong friends.

 

[equality]

This. I think Americans generally get pretty complacent in all facets of life. As we age we sort of get stuck in the flow of work, relationships, family and so on.

When we're younger we're constantly changing environments (schools, sports teams, summer jobs, cliques) and meeting new people more often than when we're older. Think about all the free time you had too.

When we're younger we also have several "firsts." First fist fight, sexual experience, death, experimentation with drugs. Those intimate moments usually create lasting bonds as opposed to when you're older and routines are hella monotonous.

Crazy to think about actually. When I reflect on when I was in middle school I can remember always being excited to go on AIM and initiate conversations and try to start relationships with random people. Some of those relationships still exist today.

Sad how complacent we get.

My man, take it from someone who didn’t grow up in the States and lived in four countries and travelled a little. America as a whole is the most ambitious country in western society.It’s why I love it here

 

[freakydestroyer]

Some of you are over thinking this. When you went to school you were basically stuck with the same people everyday. When you get out of that environment it is logistically harder to meet people and form closer connections. Why are people bringing up countries and ****