Why is it impossible to start new friendships...

[Mark Antony]

Some of you are over thinking this. When you went to school you were basically stuck with the same people everyday. When you get out of that environment it is logistically harder to meet people and form closer connections. Why are people bringing up countries and ****

Just looks like ya'll are saying the same thing, they're just expanding on their experiences as opposed to just a black and white statement. You might be overthinking it.

 

[getback]

My man, take it from someone who didn’t grow up in the States and lived in four countries and travelled a little. America as a whole is the most ambitious country in western society.It’s why I love it here

Some of you are over thinking this. When you went to school you were basically stuck with the same people everyday. When you get out of that environment it is logistically harder to meet people and form closer connections. Why are people bringing up countries and ****

I admit I tend to be hard on people in this country. Need to stop doing that as often as I do. Perhaps it's because I live in the northeast and folks are pretty trash socially. It's all I know so I probably wrongfully assume it's unique to Americans.

 

[shogun]

What’s wrong with northeast people?

 

[equality]

I admit I tend to be hard on people in this country. Need to stop doing that as often as I do. Perhaps it's because I live in the northeast and folks are pretty trash socially.

I live in RI but in Boston 3 or 4 times a week. The culture and willingness of people to fight for what they believe in is incredible. I get why Americans criticize this country cause there’s a lot of things wrong with it, but I’m so ****ing grateful to be here. I tell every American who thinks I’m crazy for leaving Australia and NZ for the States that there’s no amount of money or pleasure that could persuade me to leave this place.

 

[Master Zik]

Thread title got a forever alone vibe to it.

Not familiar with this fear. I can understand it approaching a chick to smash but I feel similar results apply. The worst they can say is no anf if they do that'll just be one stranger who thinks you're a weirdo that doesnt want to be your friend.

Granted I got a crew and acquaintances, not looking to make friends, and dont really do what you describe.

However, from my experience young white ppl are the most approachable ppl I've come across. Usually the hipster, WASP, free spirit types but that may be them wanting a new ethnic friend to feel good about.

But maybe I'm being cynical

 

[getback]

What’s wrong with northeast people?

Compared to other places I've been in the states (west coast, south)...feels like people are generally ruder and more pretentious. Could be a city thing too. Everyone's mileage varies though.

 

[shogun]

Probably cuz of the weather. This heat and humidity sucks and the winter is terrible. In NY people tend to keep to themselves and mind their business.

 

[getback]

The culture and willingness of people to fight for what they believe in is incredible.

What do you mean by this?

 

[blastercombo]

Good friends come from certain experiences. You can’t recreate childhood or college life. Those aren’t the only meaningful times but things of that nature

 

[WASPS ANDD ASPS]

What’s wrong with northeast people?

Ive never been, but im pretty certain all yall look like this.

 

[beh235]

Probably cuz of the weather. This heat and humidity sucks and the winter is terrible. In NY people tend to keep to themselves and mind their business.

Amazing NT logic strikes again lol. A lot of NYC these days are flooded with people who are not native New Yorkers. Take it for what it is.

 

[equality]

What do you mean by this?

Culture - there’s so many diverse groups in the States (at least in the coastal larger cities). One of the best things about travelling is experiencing other people’s culture and way of life. It’s obviously not exactly the same but in America you meet people from every corner of the world.

Willing to fight for what they believe in - the first week I moved here it was the anti racist protests in Boston. There’s not a lot of countries where people will take time out their day to stand up for what’s right. A lotta places talk more than do

 

[fluid hips]

It's not that hard when you put in the effort.
If you're good at sports, join a rec league. Easy way in.

Also try the meetup app

 

[Xennial]

This hits Men harder than most women supposedly, theres been articles saying about how by late 20s early 30s most American men's biggest problem will be loneliness. I'm 34 now and started losing more friends at a rapid pace last couple of years both male and female mostly due to kids and or marriage is the pattern. It depends tho, your colleagues/co-workers being your social circle/friend group mainly seems to be a Yuppie/Yappie thing. Yuccies/Yaccies tend to have good social lives. A lot of the hood cats I knew coming up that never left the hood are still hanging out on the block, shooting dice and hoops etc. so thats their social life. The people I know that are constantly traveling from country to country make a lot of friends at Hostels, pub crawls etc.

 

[peteweezy]

Because when you get older you realize there is not much loyalty in this world.

Aw man not the Internet introvert madness lol.

People get older, lazy and nostalgic about their older childhood friendships and compare everyone else to that.

Gotta realize it's easy to become friends with people youre forceds to be around for years. Making friends outside of your bubble in life is the true challenge.

This all day and to add most of your childhood friends you didn't have any responsibilities like most adults do now. Its way different when you just basically went to school kicked it repeat process then when you have families, responsibilities, etc.

Like others have said you just meet people doing regular stuff like joining leagues, the gym, online groups, etc. going upto a random dude though like its a girl I'm not doing that though seems strange OP.

 

[freakydestroyer]

This hits Men harder than most women supposedly, theres been articles saying about how by late 20s early 30s most American men's biggest problem will be loneliness. I'm 34 now and started losing more friends at a rapid pace last couple of years both male and female mostly due to kids and or marriage is the pattern. It depends tho, your colleagues/co-workers being your social circle/friend group mainly seems to be a Yuppie/Yappie thing. Yuccies/Yaccies tend to have good social lives. A lot of the hood cats I knew coming up that never left the hood are still hanging out on the block, shooting dice and hoops etc. so thats their social life. The people I know that are constantly traveling from country to country make a lot of friends at Hostels, pub crawls etc.

Team Washed
I thought you were a couple years younger.

 

[peteweezy]

It's always a breath of fresh air when some random person sparks a conversation with no ulterior motives. Just a compliment or comment about sports or something that leads to a little convo we don't usually get as adults.

This happens all the time if you put yourself out there and aren't looking like a psycho. You won't become friends with everyone and you don't have to but plenty if people have sparked up convos with me over sneakers, sports, event we are at even the super market. Maybe I just got that its cool to talk to me face. I don't know but that stuff isn't something that rarely happens.

 

[getback]

This happens all the time if you put yourself out there and aren't looking like a psycho. You won't become friends with everyone and you don't have to but plenty if people have sparked up convos with me over sneakers, sports, event we are at even the super market. Maybe I just got that its cool to talk to me face. I don't know but that stuff isn't something that rarely happens.

Looking like a psycho?

 

[freakydestroyer]

That's why I like having conversations with Uber drivers. There is no ulterior motive, you can all about random topics, and most likely I will never see them again.

 

[jape]

That's why I like having conversations with Uber drivers. There is no ulterior motive and most likely I will never see them again.

uber drivers have to be nice to you to get a good rating or tip though

 

[freakydestroyer]

uber drivers have to be nice to you to get a good rating or tip though

Fair point, but you can usually tell right away if they do not want to open up.

 

[peteweezy]

Looking like a psycho?

An exaggeration obviously but some folks have that nervous weirdo energy about them. It is like they're afraid you can see their deepest fears and or they better interacting with folks online and don't see how they look to others on the outside. Nobody trying to talk to that person even if they have something convo starter worthy.

 

[Nujavez]

Only one time I became friends with some random person on the street was while waiting for the bus. He saw my kicks and we just started talking about sneakers. I find out later we both were going to the same college and shared the same class a couple times for a couple years. Hung out a good amount but I haven't seen dude in awhile.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Moving countries twice in 3 years has made this super hard for me. Naturally introverted and enjoying my solitude also doesn't help

Must be tough. Where have you lived?

Damn, it must be tough. You travel with your family at least?

Some of you are over thinking this. When you went to school you were basically stuck with the same people everyday. When you get out of that environment it is logistically harder to meet people and form closer connections. Why are people bringing up countries and ****

This is true as well. Work serves the same purpose as school though. But you are right

 

[equality]

Must be tough. Where have you lived?

Damn, it must be tough. You travel with your family at least?

Taiwan, NZ, Australia and now the States. Nah man, barely ever travelled with my fams. Haven’t seen them in two years now cause they on the opposite side of the world. Those family holidays like Christmas, thanksgiving etc are brutal