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Yea this is my issue that pisses me off about this topic. EVERYTHING is called insecure. I mean damn, can't I want MY woman for myself?
Women and Men can't be friends? vol. why not NT?
weekz
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Not at all. How does anything i've posted indicate that?
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Not about being insecure but realistic...we are still animals and if something looks good and attraction is there then sh*t happens... I have had girls that were my friends and u tell them secrets and one day you say to yourself " why are we not together" even if you few them as "sisters" u still get that feeling and unless u are gay or a unix I can't possibly see being friends with women... It's feasible but hard on both sexes and being a Man U can tell when it's a genuine friendship or a hatin *** dude waiting for the chance of u messing up and having her on the couch consoling her and panties drop( been there done that)
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Lets see how sisterly they are when they put their mouth on your ****. See what happens then, ALl of this Brother/SIster talk kills me.
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Lesbians can't be friends. Gay guys can't be friends. Straight people can't be friends.
Do you see how stupid that sounds? That's what you guys have been repeating for the past 2 pages.
If you have an attraction then yall mothaf's aint franz. You jusss desperate.
On some real ishh though, friends aren't friends if you like them. They're people you like. So stop it with the friend crap.
Just rename the title to why can't I get laid.
Do you see how stupid that sounds? That's what you guys have been repeating for the past 2 pages.
If you have an attraction then yall mothaf's aint franz. You jusss desperate.
On some real ishh though, friends aren't friends if you like them. They're people you like. So stop it with the friend crap.
Just rename the title to why can't I get laid.
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because of this. "One thing led to the next, and bang." Friends end up smashing homeboy.
weekz
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I haven't been burned in this way by a female so I guess some of you are coming of a place of experience.
Perhaps it's the kind of women you date to begin with? The only girls I seriously get down with are those of the more relaxed/chill variety.
If she too [insert stereotypical annoying female trait] then I have no interest in that person to begin with unless its some physical one time thing.
Perhaps it's the kind of women you date to begin with? The only girls I seriously get down with are those of the more relaxed/chill variety.
If she too [insert stereotypical annoying female trait] then I have no interest in that person to begin with unless its some physical one time thing.
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The hell is that supposed to mean?
I have dealt with, "relaxed/chill" people that had "friends" before I came into the picture that I wasn't cool with.
I had to let folks know that if we are going to be together, then you can't be having "friends." Doesn't fly.
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Son dudes are wolves always remember that. I've almost smashed a friend in loving long term relationship, only thing stopped it was logistics. Now those opportunities are few and far between, but when that hole opens who knows. And dude knows I'm just the homie. In a lot of cases, the male friend is the break glass in case of emergency ****. Sure she'll regret it after because he holds it down, but that human, moment of weakness exists.
Ain't even all about being shady, hormones be raging at night time with some drinks.
Ain't even all about being shady, hormones be raging at night time with some drinks.
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I would not care.
I assume ALL guys are getting at my girl. I also assume my girl is doing right by me.
I've dated plenty to tell you that your girl, if she wanted too, is going to cheat on you wether you take issue with her going out or not.
And if it did bother me i would speak up. We are very open and blunt with each other.
weekz
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Why should I rename my title? Because you're a cynic about human interaction? The way I see it, if I have female friends I can get tips and pointers that most dudes have to learn by trial and error.
Obviously if you have attractive friends you may think of those possibilities but if you really care about you're friendship it should be ok, right :\?
A lot you seem to have had bad experiences with this type of friendship. Not sure my youthful optimism can override that but oh well.
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1. I agree but "allowing" them to hang out with other dudes just makes it that much easier.
2. Cool.
Gill Baka Esq. LLC.
formerly grimlock
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I just want to post my .02
I have girls in my life that I designate "JUST FRIENDS". These girls I have no attraction to but their good people, they watched out for me and in turn I don't follow that rule that girls can't be friends with guys. I mean I'll go eat with these girls, go watch a movie...regular friend type stuff.
Because of my major, I basically have no other guys whatsoever in my classes and just girls so I because I'm a well-liked guy and I get along with everyone, I have these colleagues that I'll go out with and chat it up because not only are they my colleagues but also it's a part of networking because I will for sure meet these girls at a convention down the road and besides that most of them I know are good people.
NOW, I have girls that I seriously want to **** their brains out but I got them as friends right now because they are either in my class, or I knew them from my undergrad classes because grim ain't no dummy and I don't **** where I sleep. HOWEVER if a time comes where i'm getting hot and heavy with them then it will go down....no question.
I also have one girl who is legit my homegirl and me and her click well. In this case I don't want to **** her, but I would if the opportunity presented itself.
Now as far as a g/f having guy friends....I'm a hypocrite. Of course they can't have guy friends that don't pass 100% clearance by me as gay or a simp. What's mine is mine and I play for keeps.
I have girls in my life that I designate "JUST FRIENDS". These girls I have no attraction to but their good people, they watched out for me and in turn I don't follow that rule that girls can't be friends with guys. I mean I'll go eat with these girls, go watch a movie...regular friend type stuff.
Because of my major, I basically have no other guys whatsoever in my classes and just girls so I because I'm a well-liked guy and I get along with everyone, I have these colleagues that I'll go out with and chat it up because not only are they my colleagues but also it's a part of networking because I will for sure meet these girls at a convention down the road and besides that most of them I know are good people.
NOW, I have girls that I seriously want to **** their brains out but I got them as friends right now because they are either in my class, or I knew them from my undergrad classes because grim ain't no dummy and I don't **** where I sleep. HOWEVER if a time comes where i'm getting hot and heavy with them then it will go down....no question.
I also have one girl who is legit my homegirl and me and her click well. In this case I don't want to **** her, but I would if the opportunity presented itself.
Now as far as a g/f having guy friends....I'm a hypocrite. Of course they can't have guy friends that don't pass 100% clearance by me as gay or a simp. What's mine is mine and I play for keeps.
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My bestfriend is a woman.
Attractive?? Not to me.
Would smash? Nope. She's a dirty bird.
Outside of ^^ that one all my other homegirls can/have/will get it when the opportunity arises.
Attractive?? Not to me.
Would smash? Nope. She's a dirty bird.
Outside of ^^ that one all my other homegirls can/have/will get it when the opportunity arises.
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True, but at the same time me and my girl of three years are not married and we're both single, if she falls for one of her friends, so be it. I will be hurt for a couple months and bounce right back. It's happened before.
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She is a grown woman, fam. I'm not allowing her or disallowing her to do anything. I trust that she uses proper judgment. That is all.
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Is that really what you got out of this?
I thought we were discussing girls with male friends, not flirtatious chicks who go to clubs and bars every weekend. You're crazy if you think i or any other guy is going to stick with a girl that lives that lifestyle.
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They do, and they will do so wether you let them hang out or not. Sorry for the grim reality check
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You wouldn't be? Even office lunches?
Dude, we go to lunch in the office all the time, all types of configurations, sometimes 2 dudes 1 chic, sometimes 1 dude 4 chics, sometimes more chics than dudes, sometimes just me and 1 of the married females from the office, etc. Nobody ever makes a fuss out of it. Just sometimes people don't want to come, or don't want Buffalo Wild Wings that day or happened to bring their own lunch or whatever. We're not going to sit there and count males and females, or singles and marrieds, when it's not that important.
I used to kind of feel that way, like yo that's cheating, but it's as innocent as can be. Or if myself and a female got sent out on a call together, took a while, we'll just be like "let's stop somewhere and get lunch before we go back."
Same time, yes I have seen first hand females that are trying to (and successfully) get at married dues in the workplace, and dudes getting at married chics, but them going to lunch together or not wasn't at all a factor. Dude was smashing chics from the building in the office while I'm at my desk (his office is actually like a 10 x 10 closet inside a much bigger office where I was out in the open then he was in one of the converted offices, they come out all gigglin' and winking like I'm 10 and don't know what went on, both have admitted it since anyways though).
I think guys and girls can be friends though. I have a few, some I would ever say are attractive or I'm attractive to but we're adults and respect each other's relationships and boundaries enough. It's not like I'm walking around, "nope, can't talk to you. You're a female."
But yea I have female friends, a few who are attractive. Someone said it perfect. Like I could be
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Yea I get that but I just feel rules/guidelines need to be set when the relationship starts. I am not cool with my woman hanging out 1-on-1 with a dude. You can call it insecure if you chose to but that doesn't sit well with me. I won't sit back and act like everything is cool. I will simply let her know that I am not cool with that foolishness.
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So your girl being friends with a guy means you have to freak out about every potential possibility? If you're the jealous type and don't like your girl hanging out guys, she's just going to do it behind your back. Unless your girl is anti-social or hideous, she's going to have guys being "friendly" towards her. Trust me, this type of jealous and INSECURE mentality is going to end up getting you guys hurt or looking like lames. You need to start caring less dog or you're going to freak out over every little thing.
Those male friends might be guys she hits up when she breaks up with you or she's upset BUT if she's good (or ok) looking, if she wants to smash someone - it's as easy as going to any club/bar and waiting for a decent looking guy to hit her up. It's not difficult either way.
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I can deal with it, I've messed with a lot of chicks that simply don't like many other females so they don't have any female friends other than cousins. I understand what they mean when they explain it but it really just comes down to trust.
I'd prefer all their guy friends be gay though.
I'd prefer all their guy friends be gay though.
solarius49
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I have a few female friends, that I kick it with and its completely platonic. I used to think the same way you did OP, but at some point in the past couple years, it just stopped being all about sex to me.
I still love some moist new yambs though
I still love some moist new yambs though
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Dunno if I should be ashamed of this, but I have never really approached a girl to become purely friends. I do have plenty of female friends, but only due to mutual friends or me not being attracted to females who were part of my weekly activities through some medium (if that makes sense) eg college classes, social sports teams
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Well that's between you and yours. But just because a girl is with a guy one on one doesn't mean she's smashing. If your girl is gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat whether you "let" her do something or not. Let these chicks breathe. If she's not stupid or a bird, she's not going to put herself in odd predicaments or disrespect the relationship.