Worst Breakup

[Josy Jo]

This is the grand ******* that I yearned for:

 

[Coromanti]

Hardest break up is the one you out your heart and soul into. Not just the emotion but the effort to make things happen. And it just goes nowhere. You thought you had it all and it turns to rubble in your hands.

 

[Nereyda Vuelve Por Dios]

The worst **** about relationships is the time lost. And effort wasted. Breakup is complicated and whatever.

but you cant get time back and you cant get the energy exhausted into that committment back. Its completely lost. And women have it worst in this respect. It makes men trash as a specimen for this simple reason.

 

[noir.]

funny, because this just happened this past week for me. i was with someone who we considered were soulmates, both of us wanted to grow together, had a strong belief in "us" & really was looking forward to our future together. we both shared some extremely intimate moments, times where we were both crying, raw & vulnerable with each other. we both agreed to keep an open line of communication, transparency & honesty but as soon as our first disagreement occurred (something that i admitted & apologized for, i didn't cheat, i was being selfish about a job opportunity she got, because it was a weekend job & we're in 2 different cities & that's when i come visit). she also asked for space when she was away at nyfw working & i explained to her previously that in my past space was a trigger for me, i didn't know how to provide healthy space nor did i ever experience it due to the toxicity of my past relationships. i tried, i deactivated my ig page, she thought i blocked her & i told her i felt like i was being ghosted... i eventually began reading about how to provide these things for a relationship, reading about interdependent relationships, what healthy space looks like, etc ...

basically it came down to both of us ignoring each other for a few days & i never canceled any v-day plans, i still wanted her to have her gifts, flowers etc ... she apologized, i forgave her & asked her this... "now we've both hurt each other, been hurt, triggered each other & both styles could use some tweaking & changing, can we work towards a more positive future together?" ... she claimed she was open to do that, but then dragged me along all friday night with excuses of why she couldn't call. i love this woman to life & i know she suffers from anxiety & avoidance is a defense mechanism for people who have it, but i can no longer allow myself to be in her life in this capacity i don't think. I texted her yesterday morning after the friday night debacle & told her how i felt & that maybe one day she'll call, i hate speaking about serious issues via text... this one hurt the most. the few that know of our situation swear it's not over, but if we do speak again, we will need to lay some ground rules & BOTH adhere to them in order to move past this. to me it wasn't an IF, but a when of when our first disagreement would occur.. so we both need to know how to move past it if we were both in it for the longterm like we claimed to be. in the beginning she said she appreciated that i had a growth mindset, but if the best apology is changed behavior & you never get a chance to show it, perhaps it was all a fallacy?

 

[John Wick]

funny, because this just happened this past week for me. i was with someone who we considered were soulmates, both of us wanted to grow together, had a strong belief in "us" & really was looking forward to our future together. we both shared some extremely intimate moments, times where we were both crying, raw & vulnerable with each other. we both agreed to keep an open line of communication, transparency & honesty but as soon as our first disagreement occurred (something that i admitted & apologized for, i didn't cheat, i was being selfish about a job opportunity she got, because it was a weekend job & we're in 2 different cities & that's when i come visit). she also asked for space when she was away at nyfw working & i explained to her previously that in my past space was a trigger for me, i didn't know how to provide healthy space nor did i ever experience it due to the toxicity of my past relationships. i tried, i deactivated my ig page, she thought i blocked her & i told her i felt like i was being ghosted... i eventually began reading about how to provide these things for a relationship, reading about interdependent relationships, what healthy space looks like, etc ...

basically it came down to both of us ignoring each other for a few days & i never canceled any v-day plans, i still wanted her to have her gifts, flowers etc ... she apologized, i forgave her & asked her this... "now we've both hurt each other, been hurt, triggered each other & both styles could use some tweaking & changing, can we work towards a more positive future together?" ... she claimed she was open to do that, but then dragged me along all friday night with excuses of why she couldn't call. i love this woman to life & i know she suffers from anxiety & avoidance is a defense mechanism for people who have it, but i can no longer allow myself to be in her life in this capacity i don't think. I texted her yesterday morning after the friday night debacle & told her how i felt & that maybe one day she'll call, i hate speaking about serious issues via text... this one hurt the most. the few that know of our situation swear it's not over, but if we do speak again, we will need to lay some ground rules & BOTH adhere to them in order to move past this. to me it wasn't an IF, but a when of when our first disagreement would occur.. so we both need to know how to move past it if we were both in it for the longterm like we claimed to be. in the beginning she said she appreciated that i had a growth mindset, but if the best apology is changed behavior & you never get a chance to show it, perhaps it was all a fallacy?

Sounds like she is seeing someone else champ. There’s no reason why she couldn’t call you on vday especially when vday is such a big thing for women and they dont want to go unnoticed on that day.

Something so petty with you wanting to see her over a job is silly, she probably never even got a job offer probably was trying to make time for the other guy.


Good luck but i would dead it before you get any more emotionally invested sounds like you are in it more than her. Women cry over the most silliest things and for you to be crying too speaks volumes.

 

[noir.]

Sounds like she is seeing someone else champ. There’s no reason why she couldn’t call you on vday especially when vday is such a big thing for women and they dont want to go unnoticed on that day.

Something so petty with you wanting to see her over a job is silly, she probably never even got a job offer probably was trying to make time for the other guy.


Good luck but i would dead it before you get any more emotionally invested sounds like you are in it more than her. Women cry over the most silliest things and for you to be crying too speaks volumes.

nah she went to a work function after working at her new pt job, she showed me photos of her at it with her new coworkers when she texted... but i appreciate your advice & get it, i'm honestly done from here on out.