Am I in the wrong? Upset g/fs family on Christmas....

[cragmatic]

Trust me, from here on out I'm not saying a thing.

 

[knightlovesqueen]

ARENT U THE DUDE WHO TOOK THE PIC AT SOME SCARY PLACE CUZ ANOTHER NTER WAS TOO SCARED TO?

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

I emailed her apologizing, basically saying that I was wrong and handled it the wrong way. I told her i'd be more than happy to apologize to her family face to face. I'd give them another chance. And much more... and she can't even respond to say thanks for the apology....

Unbelievable.....

I can't believe 5 minutes ruined what we had going on...

maybe she hasn't seen the email. send her at least 5 more, then she'll know you're serious. that'll get her on your side!

You moron I told you don't text her back...you just shot yourself in the foot now. You look like you were at fault, and you got no resolve now.

Idk where you can go from here bo'.

Edit:

Dude, just disregard the apology all together....the best way to salvage this in my eyes is to just say that you thought about it some more and your not trying to get into a relationship with drama involved and tell your (ex)girl that she didn't even stick up for you when **** hit the fan and hang up on her. She'll be sucking at your teets within 2 weeks of no contact......or maybe not. But just have some self-respect and stick with your decisions goddammit.

 

[licensed to ball]

It really bothers me that NT'ers spent hours and days giving you heartfelt advice, genuinely caring about you and tryin to help you, only for you to ignore everyone's advice and make an impulsive decision to "e-mail" here. I mean I understand its your life fam, you gotta do what's best for you I get it...but after 7 long pages of great advice you basically just said EFF you to everyone and did what you wanted to do.

If you weren't going to listen to people then why even bother sharing the story?

Honestly man, I've done similar things in the past. Emailing, texting, calling girls with "heartfelt" apologies only to end up looking FOOLISH every single time, everytime!! but the point is I think we've all been there, no hate about that. We live and we learn. But c'mon man, the point is you ignored everyone's advice after people really tried to help you.

I wish that I had this advice years ago when I was acting like a simp apologizing left and right for things I shouldn't have had to apologize for. I had no backbone, but I'm 25 and I know better now. You actually had the advice I never had, so i just can't believe you didn't listen to it.

Again no hate fam, you live and you learn. But I'm pretty disappointed in you man.

*kanye shrug*

 

[rawex5]

... You lost.

I never understand why some guys ask for help or advice, only to not use it and be guided by their own impulse.

Let me as you this, do you genuinely think you did anything wrong by standing up for yourself and pointing out the flaws in another person's logic?

You apologized and got ignore. Was it worth it?

This is like 90% of the case.

 

[cragmatic]

Again, I unfortunately don't have video of said event. As much as i'd love to say I did nothing wrong, and was simply reacting to how they were acting towards me, but I know I could have handled it better. In my mind, showing an apology and acknowledging what I did was the best shot I had at hearing back from her. At this point, I really just would like to hear from her and get some closure... I mean an hour before that moment we were doing great. But at this point I already know how it goes, and just have to move on.

 

[proshares]

Trust me, from here on out I'm not saying a thing.

You should not have said anything in the first place, that was stupid. You keep saying you have to move on and you make this thread asking if you were in the wrong and for advice and you go against everything everyone said. You don't need closure on this. You dodged a bullet. Keep it moving. You're just opening a door and asking for more goddamn trouble down the road if you and her get back together.

 

[gatorbeltsnpattiemelts]

I had somewhat of the same thing happen to me, except me and my girl were supposed to be going to the state fair. It was the last day of the fair and it was getting late. I burnt out on em and my girl got pissed but whatever. She had a blast at that damn fair. *Kanye shrug*

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

^^^man I swear messing with a g/f and her family during times of first impressions and actually going somewhere is the worst.

HERE IS SOME SORELY NEEDED ADVICE THAT I CAN SHARE WITH MY NT BRETHREN FROM MY EXPERIENCE:

1) when you first meet a girl and she brings up meeting the family, show her that that really means a lot to you but if it's sub 6 months- 1 year tell her that the time isn't right and that you want to get to know her better and form a better relationship with her before you make the jump to visit family. Tell her that you take meeting family as a big deal and you don't want to jump the gun before it's time. Don't waver, be absolute in your resolve.

2) Between the span of 6 months to 1 year of meeting a girl (or whatever predetermined time to meet s/o families) have the meeting ON YOUR TERMS. This means that if your girl is kinda pressing you to meet her mom, AND the relationship between you and your girl is serious or getting better rather than getting worse then make the effort to set up a situation where you take the mom to lunch.....NOT DINNER. That way if she keeps bailing out on you, then you can push the issue that your making the effort but not getting anything back IF IT SHOULD ARISE.

3) make a good impression at the lunch...make a plan to get in and get out....make a good first impression and leave before they make you do shopping or some other b.s., already have a plan to exit from beforehand...

I think taking the proactive approach in meeting certain family members is better than going into a trap.

 

[mdwst9]

so.....im guessing you still havent saw Django?

 

[clyde the glide]

get over her not sticking up for u.  her family is permanent and u r temporary u cant expect her to tell her family off then run off with u and live happily ever after. 

 

[cragmatic]

I just realized something... she knows of NT and I have visited it before on her laptop.... hope she hasn't found this thread

 

[sir charles]

That would be Hilarious.

Uh oh all of a sudden his accounts deleted! Ohhhh nooo

 

[Y4BBZY]

I just realized something... she knows of NT and I have visited it before on her laptop.... hope she hasn't found this thread

Why does that even matter, you said you are done with her right?

Still waiting for the OP to hit her up with this text message:

View media item 188755

 

[miketysonthekiller]

smells like a tr0ll

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

petition to ban cragmatic for violation of the washington heights treaty paragraph 6 section IX:

da user will neither reveal publicly that s/he is a member of Niketalk and will take all necessary steps to prevent self-exposing characteristics (i.e. gossip, hypebeastness, female tendencies) that will engender "lurking" and/or potential membership from unsavory characters (i.e. trolls, noobs/newbs, post-******, rep-******, spammers, steve)

 

[tonelow]

I don't deal with females who have family problems....**** that...

Raises hands to the sky "Amen".

I don't get why you guys feel this urge to try and stick it out with these women with all these issues? Step your selection game up. Looks, butt. breast, and bedroom skills aren't the only thing to look for. It's a vicous cycle. For the most part, the family is usual a strong indication of what you are in for. Sorry to say this, but if her sister is messed up, he mom is messed, her aunt is messed up, he cousins are messed up...get the picture, see the trend!!!

Truth.

I learned that a couple of years ago... A girls relationship with her fam, especially with her father (or some type of father figure) is extremely important.

I emailed her apologizing, basically saying that I was wrong and handled it the wrong way. I told her i'd be more than happy to apologize to her family face to face. I'd give them another chance. And much more... and she can't even respond to say thanks for the apology....

Unbelievable.....

I can't believe 5 minutes ruined what we had going on...

maybe she hasn't seen the email. send her at least 5 more, then she'll know you're serious. that'll get her on your side!

 listen to your conscience bruh.

 

[powerballin]

whats the update OP?

 

[fantastic4our]

Tact.

There was a right way to handle that OP.

Your way, was not it.

Sometimes, especially when dealing with women, being right is not always "right."

 

[onthe23rd]

This thread is gold, there's plenty of good advice.

Now I'm reconsidering making this chick my girlfriend.

 

[jpthe3]

As a 17 year old, I just came from my ex's house.( still tryna work things out , we still mess with each other )
And we just now ended the night texting about how grateful I am for her parents to be cool with me and how they look out for me , and it's funny, I told her that Im lucky cause most dudes have gfs were the moms and pops don't like them and then there is this thread !
And I'm over here chillin wit you , moms and pops. And they always lookin out for me !! And that makes me more interested in having a relationship cause everything is straight pretty much and I get along well with the rest of the fam. Christmas parties thanksgiving , it's a wrap cause then the family won't mind when you tryna chill with the girl if you know what I mean I'm talking about vibing you pervs.

But at the same time , I'm only 17
I know that the future is what matters , when reality really hits , ex. If I have a job and if I could support my girl , then that's when the family would really step in and what not so , so that's why thanks to niketalk , you guys are like my big brothers teaching me life lessons, I'm gonna make sure I have a successful, better than steady if not just steady life ... Enough to make sure ill be able to take my girl out occasionally and maybe even support a family of my own 1 day !
And this is just my love life , my relationship life.
Don't think I'm all about the girl fams .

I still got my personal life , I'm still me , I still got the homies chillin kicking it it's all good


And to answe OP's question .
I hope she reads this , jk lol
But you did handle that situation wrong tho , if you were tryna wife shorty or have her for a cool while , then you done f'Ed up .

Shoulda thougt about the girl first , you shoulda just let things be , if mama wanna complain let her be , you're not tryna win her over.
You're tryna win gf over which you already did , you're not gonna live with mama . You tryna live with gf if you don't already do , you tryna take the gf back home
So don't even mind the mama , don't even try to beat her , let her win , unless you can beat her but still be on her good side, by laughing it out , beating her but still make her feel like she was right on her side
And then like that the gf would see how you interact with mama and she'll love you even more cause she'll see that you'll be able to hang with mama and she'll think you'll be ready to be the one for her !
Mom and daughters relationship > you
Unless daughter don't care

 

[cragmatic]

whats the update OP?

We actually talked a bit via text yesterday. She actually called me mid texting while I was at work so of course I couldn't pick up. But claims she only called so we could have better closure. I told her she's doing this because her family wants her too, and she didn't deny it and said she hates this but she can't give into me no matter how hard it is. Haven't heard from her since.

 

[decemberlove]

We actually talked a bit via text yesterday. She actually called me mid texting while I was at work so of course I couldn't pick up. But claims she only called so we could have better closure. I told her she's doing this because her family wants her too, and she didn't deny it and said she hates this but she can't give into me no matter how hard it is. Haven't heard from her since.

You lost. If your attitude was right then you would be winning but you don't realize that this is a good thing.

So again, you lost.

 

[cragmatic]

I disagree. I lost, but I lost on tuesday when things went down. I know she is having more trouble dealing with this than I am, I know she wants to see me. But her whole family is filling her head with nonsense. They all have major issues about their father who supposedly was this horrible horrible dude. And are all stuck up or crazy.


We have a history of bad blood with the mom. When I upgraded my iphone I was gonna give her my 4 because her 4's screen is completely shattered, but her mom wouldn't let her do it, told her she should just pay to get her's fixed. So I was offering to give her a FREE 32 GB 4, upgrade from her broken 16, and her mom didn't want her to have it because it was from me. So I sold it and got some $$$. Other stupid things like that. Her mom is honestly crazy. The girl has literally stolen Q's from her mom's stash without the mom noticing a thing. She's this old syrian lady who doesn't work and everything is paid for from her rich dad's alimony. (But is ending soon) Her OTHER aunt came into best buy and found me secretly to see who I was when we first started dating.

I understand getting a long with a significant others family, but I don't appreciate the way they have treated me since day one, she even said it was BS and agreed with how I felt. But oh well. 3rd day at the gym of the past 4, definitely getting back into it. I just see this as a wake up call to better myself.

 

[sir charles]

The iPhone thing may have been about pride. Some people refuse to take free handouts because they would feel lesser if they did. I'm that way about some things.