- 12,141
- 33,770
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2012
What's good, NT. It's ya boy Comparison Ford and I got a problem. I got an apartment with a longtime friend (20+) years last summer and it's been a slow downward spiral ever since. I made a post about it in The Depression Thread at the end of last year that will give you some insight to his problems:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comparison Ford
"I've had my issues with depression in the past, but my roommate is really worrying me.
He admitted to being depressed after about two months of living together and ever since then it's been downhill. When he told me about it I gave him the number of a few doctors from my job and told him to make an appointment. A few weeks pass and I notice he's getting worse and worse (sleeping all day, drinking, not leaving his room, etc.). It got to the point where he was drinking himself to the point of being sick, calling into work so he could drink all day, and repeating the cycle. By the third day I basically made him go see a doctor. I scheduled the appointment and everything. He went, but they didn't do anything for him other than refer him to a psychologist. He ended up going to the psychologist once, but he said his insurance didn't cover it so he stopped going. When I asked him if he tried to find a new psychologist/psychiatrist covered by his insurance he said no. He stayed at a baseline level of depression for a while, but the week before Thanksgiving it got really bad. Slipped into the cycle of drinking and calling in sick to work. I finally got his brother and a few friends involved and we staged a quasi-intervention where we addressed his depression, drinking, missing work, burning bridges, etc. He seemed receptive to it all and spent a few weeks getting better (started going to the gym, bought some stuff to help spruce up the apartment, was drinking less, etc.) but he's back to square one again. He spent the whole weekend drinking by himself and sleeping. I grilled him about his behavior last night and everything I said was met with a sarcastic "yep." I asked him if he had followed through with getting an appointment for a psychiatrist/psychologist and he flatly said "nope." When I asked him if he was going to he said "nope."
At this point he's hurting himself just to spite me (I give him crap for never cleaning up after himself/other various inconsiderate behaviors). I just feel like I've hit a wall with him. I've tried to help him over and over but he just won't help himself. At this point I'm thinking of breaking the lease agreement and moving out. It sucks. My apartment is beautiful and it's in an amazing location, but living with him is getting unbearable.
If any NTers have been in a similar scenario or have any words of wisdom, I'm more than willing to listen."
Fast forward to today: he's still up to the same BS. The only difference now is that he's getting a lot more bold with his inconsiderate behavior and selfishness. Dude constantly makes messes and never cleans up, asks me for favors that he needs done immediately and expects me to drop everything I'm doing to help him out, drinks all the time and gets puke all over the toilet/bathroom floor, and never takes responsibility for his actions. He actually told me it's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't drink too much anymore because I know that he can't control himself
. He clearly has a drinking problem that has caused him to burn bridges his ex and a lot of friends, but he refuses to change his behavior.
I try to cheer him up, try to get him to go out and socialize, and try to get him to meet girls (he got out of a serious relationship 4 years ago and hasn't gotten any play since
), but I hit a brick wall every time. Today was the breaking point though. I gave him a proper airing of grievances (word to Frank Costanza) and told him to start looking into finding a new place once the lease is up. Sucks...but I can't let him bring me down anymore. Dude can literally only handle the most basic activities of daily living and he expects me to be his mommy to pick up the slack. What makes it worse is that we share friends (one of which is his twin brother) and I don't want that to drive a wedge between anyone in our circle.
Anyone else ever lose a friend after moving in together? Anyone else have any nightmare roommate stories? Post them here. Misery loves company.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comparison Ford
"I've had my issues with depression in the past, but my roommate is really worrying me.
He admitted to being depressed after about two months of living together and ever since then it's been downhill. When he told me about it I gave him the number of a few doctors from my job and told him to make an appointment. A few weeks pass and I notice he's getting worse and worse (sleeping all day, drinking, not leaving his room, etc.). It got to the point where he was drinking himself to the point of being sick, calling into work so he could drink all day, and repeating the cycle. By the third day I basically made him go see a doctor. I scheduled the appointment and everything. He went, but they didn't do anything for him other than refer him to a psychologist. He ended up going to the psychologist once, but he said his insurance didn't cover it so he stopped going. When I asked him if he tried to find a new psychologist/psychiatrist covered by his insurance he said no. He stayed at a baseline level of depression for a while, but the week before Thanksgiving it got really bad. Slipped into the cycle of drinking and calling in sick to work. I finally got his brother and a few friends involved and we staged a quasi-intervention where we addressed his depression, drinking, missing work, burning bridges, etc. He seemed receptive to it all and spent a few weeks getting better (started going to the gym, bought some stuff to help spruce up the apartment, was drinking less, etc.) but he's back to square one again. He spent the whole weekend drinking by himself and sleeping. I grilled him about his behavior last night and everything I said was met with a sarcastic "yep." I asked him if he had followed through with getting an appointment for a psychiatrist/psychologist and he flatly said "nope." When I asked him if he was going to he said "nope."
At this point he's hurting himself just to spite me (I give him crap for never cleaning up after himself/other various inconsiderate behaviors). I just feel like I've hit a wall with him. I've tried to help him over and over but he just won't help himself. At this point I'm thinking of breaking the lease agreement and moving out. It sucks. My apartment is beautiful and it's in an amazing location, but living with him is getting unbearable.
If any NTers have been in a similar scenario or have any words of wisdom, I'm more than willing to listen."
Fast forward to today: he's still up to the same BS. The only difference now is that he's getting a lot more bold with his inconsiderate behavior and selfishness. Dude constantly makes messes and never cleans up, asks me for favors that he needs done immediately and expects me to drop everything I'm doing to help him out, drinks all the time and gets puke all over the toilet/bathroom floor, and never takes responsibility for his actions. He actually told me it's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't drink too much anymore because I know that he can't control himself
I try to cheer him up, try to get him to go out and socialize, and try to get him to meet girls (he got out of a serious relationship 4 years ago and hasn't gotten any play since
Anyone else ever lose a friend after moving in together? Anyone else have any nightmare roommate stories? Post them here. Misery loves company.