"Be A Man" American Masculinity vol DCAllAmerican

[Peep Game]

To be the man (wooooooooooo!), you gotta beat the man

 

[urbetterthenme]

I'm glad you read the sentence that immediately followed that one...'sometimes you can't help it, but you should try'

Literally both those things happened to me twice in 2013, not going into detail. But I didn't see the point, everyone was like, just let it out, cry. At points years flowed, but I tightened my **** up. I want to be looked at as strong, as someone people can turn to when they're weak and not feel so helpless...I don't care what the media says, dudes that are ok with the world seeing them cry ain't getting that respect card from me...pull yourself together.

Because your respect is what matters the most when people cry right? Aye bruh, you the first man who ain't never cried. Although I'm sure you crying inside. Its all good. Your points are that of the typical dude trying to appear "hard" because he don't want his manlyness questioned. Real men cry.....

 

[urbetterthenme]

To be the man (wooooooooooo!), you gotta beat the man

 

[jjs07]

The fact you said "i want to be looked at as strong" clearly lets me know you are holding in some type of emotion even tho there are time u wanna let it out. There are people out there who are emotionless, but they do it w/o the front that you seem to be putting up.

 

[blastercombo]

Some of y'all have to be 15 lol have to be. These opinions y'all pass off as fact are hilarious

 

[am1x90xnike]

I clearly said 'sometimes it can't be helped'. I also said 'I've cried but pulled myself together.

It's about respect, but not in some superficial way, forget other dudes respect, I want respect from my wife, my kids. It's about being that rock for your family. You're wife can cry all she wants, but trust she wants a man to tighten up and get them through the tough parts of life, they don't want to have to get you tissues when the mortgage is late.

Would y'all respect your fathers if he cried?


I'm not talking once or twice, Im talking on the reg, like y'all seem to be promoting...unless I'm reading y'all wrong.

 

[urbetterthenme]

I clearly said 'sometimes it can't be helped'. I also said 'I've cried but pulled myself together.

It's about respect, but not in some superficial way, forget other dudes respect, I want respect from my wife, my kids. It's about being that rock for your family. You're wife can cry all she wants, but trust she wants a man to tighten up and get them through the tough parts of life, they don't want to have to get you tissues when the mortgage is late.

Would y'all respect your fathers if he cried?


I'm not talking once or twice, Im talking on the reg, like y'all seem to be promoting...unless I'm reading y'all wrong.

Yup. Pops cried and I still respect him. Like you can't be a grown man saying that non sense.....

 

[am1x90xnike]

What was going in in your dads life that bad that he cried all the time...my family has been through hell, me included, you name it, death, drugs, gangs, HIV, drunks, financial,divorce etc. It was always rare to see a male cry. Probably count the number on my hands...left hand...so men crying is not how I was raised. Men are strong, men figure **** out, men don't want attention, men don't get recognition for their accomplishments, they smoke, they drink, they curse, they go to church on special occasions, they say they love you only when you absolutely need to hear it, they have fun interesting youths, they talk straight, even if it ain't always right, they were wise, even if they weren't right. Their only fault, IMO, is a lot of them cheated and completely disrespected women, other than that, even political views, I liked then.

That's how I was raised, so y'all saying its ok for men to SHOW weakness, even if they were weak, no one but mom knew it. There was no point in us kids knowing...no point in those outside the family knowing.

The only reason to let those besides family and those that can help know your troubles is sympathy seeking, as far as I can see, maybe I'm wrong though, if I am please explain.

 

[urbetterthenme]

What was going in in your dads life that bad that he cried all the time...my family has been through hell, me included, you name it, death, drugs, gangs, HIV, drunks, financial,divorce etc. It was always rare to see a male cry. Probably count the number on my hands...left hand...so men crying is not how I was raised. Men are strong, men figure **** out, men don't want attention, men don't get recognition for their accomplishments, they smoke, they drink, they curse, they go to church on special occasions, they say they love you only when you absolutely need to hear it, they have fun interesting youths, they talk straight, even if it ain't always right, they were wise, even if they weren't right. Their only fault, IMO, is a lot of them cheated and completely disrespected women, other than that, even political views, I liked then.

That's how I was raised, so y'all saying its ok for men to SHOW weakness, even if they were weak, no one but mom knew it. There was no point in us kids knowing...no point in those outside the family knowing.

The only reason to let those besides family and those that can help know your troubles is sympathy seeking, as far as I can see, maybe I'm wrong though, if I am please explain.

lol pops didnt cry all the time. You said there is no reason for a man to cry.

 

[urbetterthenme]

how is crying a weakness?

 

[blastercombo]

Dat back pedal

 

[am1x90xnike]

Never said no reason for a man to cry, said if he does he should quickly tighten up, people can see you, no point in showing weakness. It's weakness because it shows at this moment you can't even control your own basic bodily functions...at that moment, unless they are tears of defiance, you don't seem fit to handle the task, a bit hysterical

I like the way I am, gets me through a lot of tough situations. I don't want people in real life knowing my problems, and I can't let problems effect other things, most people simply don't care what I've got going on.

 

[Chopper]

We getting soft as F as a society. Maybe it's just natural evolution... Not sure.

Nothing wrong with being taught to man up and be that rock your family needs. Also nothing wrong with showing emotion giving certain situations and telling your family/people you love them on a very regular basis.

Hell, certain music and some of the beautiful aspects of life can move me to tears with no damns given, but I'm very very stable emotionally when it comes to health/life/death related family situations. Just different types of emotions.

 

[fontaine]

Gotta cry sometimes, kinfoe...

Gotta let your voice be heard too...

I had a chick that used to try and flip that manly steez on me... To get me pissed off...

"Stop complaining. Your acting like a girl"

"You're not a man"

"Real men do ___"


Real talk... My jimmies would be extremely rustled... I would fall right into it...

Then I realized... Dahell am I doing listening to HER tell ME what a man is?

I'm less of a man because if I see a problem, I address? I'm less of a man because if a disagree with something, then I won't do it?

Whenever I started letting me feelings flow a little be... An establishing that I don't care what anyone thinks... I felt that my respect amongst women and peers went up.

I acknowledge "that **** low key pissed me off" or "I ain't gonna lie... I was upset" or "yeah mayne... I like ____"

And I feel much better... I don't have the pinned up anger I did as a youngster...

#feelsgoodlettinmyskirtdownB

 

[Nereyda Vuelve Por Dios]

the things men need to do is protect, provide, and be knowledgeable. this doc is filled with these mental health doctors  who think its cool to sissfy boys and young men and even grown men. our instincts and natural being as , in essence, animals is a big factor. 

men just have to be men. you need to release anger and frustration learn boxing or a martial art.  

 

[kspar]

i got a legit headache from reading this thread. too much real life. 

 

[illmatic34]

the things men need to do is protect, provide, and be knowledgeable. this doc is filled with these mental health doctors  who think its cool to sissfy boys and young men and even grown men. our instincts and natural being as , in essence, animals is a big factor. 

men just have to be men. you need to release anger and frustration learn boxing or a martial art.  

So it's cool for people with depression not to seek therapy? It's cool just to tell them to "be a man" and completely ignore the issue?

I think there are some ideas that we can universally agree upon when talking about what it means to "be a man" - providing, taking care of your family, making sure they're well fed, standing up for yourself, etc.

When it comes to feelings, bottom line is that everybody experiences them. And it's completely fine to express them. Crying is a natural thing that we do from time to time - it's a bodily function that comes naturally and not some sort of thing people just do for attention. We've been conditioned to allow ourselves as men to hide our feelings because that's what we're programmed to since birth - that's a sentiment society echoes. But if you tell someone to do that overtime, no doubt that some of them will let that pent up anger burst and it could turn into something ugly. Where's the logic in that? We're never told to confide in someone - instead, we have to "sack up".

There's a way to handle your emotions, I believe. Life can be hard at times - we understand. But we must recognize that not everyone can handle what's on their plate and they aren't weaker for it. Now, I think it's childish to throw tantrums if life isn't going your way. But there's nothing wrong with pulling one of your loved ones aside and telling them what's up. I think being a man is more about how they bounce back from adversity instead of being an emotionless robot.

 

[blastercombo]

If you think "being a man" can be summed up in a couple sentences you have NO idea what you're talking about

 

[301216baller]

I would rather be hyper masculine then out here showin my emotions

Aint nothin worst than a dude in his feelings how is a female gonna respect you...they want someone to lead in times of peril but instead of "manning up" you act just like them in your feelings..don't know what to do..my dad told me early stop bein a ***** n figure out a solution to your problems

 

[Rootin4EverybodyBlack]

Depression is a term that's used wayyyy to much. It's like how people call albums "classic" these days

There's a difference between true depression and acting like a whiny lil b-word. People who REALLY suffer from depression should seek help/counseling for their situation. But a LOT of people have whiny b-word syndrome that is nothing like depression.

One of the biggest problems in America (IMO) is the fact we try to associate a medical term and logical explanation with every action/emotion. Some people are a-holes, some people are whiners, there isn't always a "deeper" meaning to why they act that way.

 

[illmatic34]

Depression is a term that's used wayyyy to much. It's like how people call albums "classic" these days

There's a difference between true depression and acting like a whiny lil b-word. People who REALLY suffer from depression should seek help/counseling for their situation. But a LOT of people have whiny b-word syndrome that is nothing like depression.

One of the biggest problems in America (IMO) is the fact we try to associate a medical term and logical explanation with every action/emotion. Some people are a-holes, some people are whiners, there isn't always a "deeper" meaning to why they act that way.

Do you think that has anything to do with the increased media exposure to mental illnesses?

I agree, there's a difference between being a whiner and being depressed. But these are medical doctors in the documentary who have done research regarding this whole ideal. So I would have to think that they would know a little something about what they're talking about.

 

[rolaholic]

Do you think that has anything to do with the increased media exposure to mental illnesses?

I agree, there's a difference between being a whiner and being depressed. But these are medical doctors in the documentary who have done research regarding this whole ideal. So I would have to think that they would know a little something about what they're talking about.

I think you're right,it feels though there's been more awareness spread about mental illness recently and the old stigma that used to be attached to it is slowly starting to fade so I think that's probably the cause of all these diagnosis'.

I don't think that people have suddenly become whinier ,I just think that It's a lot easier and more accepted to admit that you're depressed or have a problem now than it was a few years ago. Sort of like how it's more common to see openly gay/lesbian couples in public than it was a decade or 2 ago. People didn't just all of a sudden get bit by the gay bug

 

[illmatic34]

I would rather be hyper masculine then out here showin my emotions

Aint nothin worst than a dude in his feelings how is a female gonna respect you...they want someone to lead in times of peril but instead of "manning up" you act just like them in your feelings..don't know what to do..my dad told me early stop bein a ***** n figure out a solution to your problems

I'm not saying wear your heart on your sleeve but it's unreasonable to expect anyone not to show their cards from time to time. That's something all humans do.

 

[illmatic34]

I think you're right,it feels though there's been more awareness spread about mental illness recently and the old stigma that used to be attached to it is slowly starting to fade so I think that's probably the cause of all these diagnosis'.

I don't think that people have suddenly become whinier ,I just think that It's a lot easier and more accepted to admit that you're depressed or have a problem now than it was a few years ago. Sort of like how it's more common to see openly gay/lesbian couples in public than it was a decade or 2 ago. People didn't just all of a sudden get bit by the gay bug

I agree completely. I just hope people understand that mental illness/depression shouldn't be confused with being a vagina. It's complicated by the gender roles we've been known to associate with over time but the issue is much deeper than that.

 

[rolaholic]

I agree completely. I just hope people understand that mental illness/depression shouldn't be confused with being a vagina. It's complicated by the gender roles we've been known to associate with over time but the issue is much deeper than that.

Yea mental illness def shouldn't be an excuse to be a wuss,just saying it's understandable when there's actually something wrong with the persons mental function.

Also agree on that,there's been a whole lot of blurring of the gender roles/lines recently through pop culture/media and that is definitely gonna have a profound impact on what's going to be considered the definition of being a man going forward