"Be A Man" American Masculinity vol DCAllAmerican

[rocman23]

This is all very subjective. These documentaries and research tend to forget about socio-economic status. It's way more common in low-income areas for parents to tell their kids "be a man" and to go out and fight if disrespected. When you grow up in the hood your parents tell you to be a man because any sign of weakness is going to get exposed and pounced upon outside. You're not told to use your words in these communities because no one else is told to use their words. In these environments you have to be "tough" as a way to survive. In more rural and suburban neighborhoods it's frowned upon to use violence as a way of working out a problem, so that whole use your words and feelings talk can work there but not in the hood.

In lower-income communities we do need to focus more on telling our kids to use their words, but this hasn't happened yet. We also need to tell our kids, whether they be low-income or well off the appropriate place and people to express certain feelings to. I believe that men shouldn't go around just boo-hooing and telling their problems to everyone. We need to teach our kids to build trust with people, family and friends, and to express those feelings and emotions amongst trusted individuals. Cry all you want to cry at home, but at work or school is a no-no in my book. Emotions are healthy and great to express, but the world doesn't need to see them because as a child you are frequently ridiculed for showing them. I believe it should be this way for women as well. That's just my thoughts though, don't cry to or around everyone, just around people who actually care, want to listen, and can help you through it.

 

[Rootin4EverybodyBlack]

Do you think that has anything to do with the increased media exposure to mental illnesses?

I agree, there's a difference between being a whiner and being depressed. But these are medical doctors in the documentary who have done research regarding this whole ideal. So I would have to think that they would know a little something about what they're talking about.

There's forsure been more exposure, but (IMO) it's not all "real".

At what line do you draw between a kid that's whiny and a kid that's really depressed? I've seen kids bust out into tears over getting a B in a class, or "OMG my dog died, i'm so depressed". When you constantly put that word "depressed" out there time and time again people begin to throw it around like it's nothing and even start to take on certain behaviors that resemble "depression" so they can have an excuse for whatever they aren't accomplishing in life and/or their weird behavior.

ALL of us can find a reason to be "depressed", every last one. Some people are going through real stuff, parents dying, family members sick, abuseive house holds. Others are trying to take things like "omg, I didn't get the toy/phone/car I wanted, nobody loves me" and turn it in to this big dramatic "i'm depressed" act.

None of these doctors are going to tell a kid who claims he's depressed "shut up, stop *****in', you're fine". And if you're not willing to say that to some kids, the study is void.

 

[mangudai954]

This is all very subjective. These documentaries and research tend to forget about socio-economic status. It's way more common in low-income areas for parents to tell their kids "be a man" and to go out and fight if disrespected. When you grow up in the hood your parents tell you to be a man because any sign of weakness is going to get exposed and pounced upon outside. You're not told to use your words in these communities because no one else is told to use their words. In these environments you have to be "tough" as a way to survive. In more rural and suburban neighborhoods it's frowned upon to use violence as a way of working out a problem, so that whole use your words and feelings talk can work there but not in the hood.

In lower-income communities we do need to focus more on telling our kids to use their words, but this hasn't happened yet. We also need to tell our kids, whether they be low-income or well off the appropriate place and people to express certain feelings to. I believe that men shouldn't go around just boo-hooing and telling their problems to everyone. We need to teach our kids to build trust with people, family and friends, and to express those feelings and emotions amongst trusted individuals. Cry all you want to cry at home, but at work or school is a no-no in my book. Emotions are healthy and great to express, but the world doesn't need to see them because as a child you are frequently ridiculed for showing them. I believe it should be this way for women as well. That's just my thoughts though, don't cry to or around everyone, just around people who actually care, want to listen, and can help you through it.

Good post.

 

[36 ounces]

This is how a man should cry
View media item 710699


This is NOT how a man should cry
View media item 710701
Simple

Yea, there is a difference between bawling and shedding a tear.