Discrimination in the work place... Feedback needed!

[alchemiss]

Going to try to make this not very long, but I definitely need some advice.  I've spoken to a couple lawyers and just wanted to get some general feedback.

I'm going to school full time and working full time at a restaurant/bar as a server.  When I was initially hired, I wanted to be a bartender (since my past 2 jobs I did only the bar, not serving) but there wasn't an opening so I took a server position.  This was about 4 months ago.  I've been asking to be a bar tender for 4 months and they have not moved me up yet. Bartenders at my job make about 4 times as much as servers make.  My boss "loves" me, has said I'm one of his best employees, etc.  They have hired about 6 new bartenders since I've been working there: a few servers, some sorority girls with absolutely no experience, and one guy with experience.    Last week they fired one of them and also school has started back up so the bar is lot busier.  I asked my boss again if I could move up and he said he hired 3 people, one girl with experience and two sorority girls.  I'm FED UP. 

I know they won't let me work behind the bar because of my appearance.  I'm a lesbian and for them they just don't want a lesbian behind the bar because we get a lot of college students in.  I think my boss doesn't understand that it's okay for a gay chick to be behind the bar.  I'm cute, good at my job, fun, and definitely not a man hater.  I feel like I'm trapped in Middle America.  By the way, I work on the upper west side in NYC.  Can I do anything about this?  What do you guys think?

 

[damnthosejs]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss


I know they won't let me work behind the bar because of my appearance.  I'm a lesbian and for them they just don't want a lesbian behind the bar because we get a lot of college students in.

If you look like this in real life then I can't blame your boss.


but going back to the situation - thinking outside the box, your boss probably doesn't want you to leave because you do your job very well as a server and he/she sees you as an asset. Losing you in that position would be a "loss" for them.

I've seen enough people go through this. Sometimes, working hard is a double-edged sword.

 

[alchemiss]

No, I don't look like Man Gaga lol. I even offered only starting at 1-2 days a week on the bar and still working the floor, so he has no excuse. He moved one of the best servers to do bar a few months ago too(she's a girl with long hair btw). The bar manager has said that he doesn't want me behind the bar because of me being obviously gay.

 

[OneNightDan]

NT rules state we can't help or give you advice until you post pictures! 

 

[mitchellicious]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

No, I don't look like Man Gaga lol. I even offered only starting at 1-2 days a week on the bar and still working the floor, so he has no excuse. He moved one of the best servers to do bar a few months ago too(she's a girl with long hair btw). The bar manager has said that he doesn't want me behind the bar because of me being obviously gay.

Well, damn.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Originally Posted by MrYoungMoney

NT rules state we can't help or give you advice until you post pictures! 

And I wanna help too...

But for real, if dude TOLD you he's discriminating against you, then you should've given him notice on the spot that you would take it above his head IF he didn't give you a shot. Maybe record a convo? I don't know, but it sounds like you need to find another place to work.

Pics for the beast?

 

[alchemiss]

If I get more feedback I'll post a pic. I am taking legal action and finding a new job. However I sometimes feel like I live in my own little bubble where everyone understands that what I'm going through is wrong and messed up, so I wanted to know what you guys think.

 

[voidemperor]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

If I get more feedback I'll post a pic.

Oh god, I feel like I'm browsing /b/.

 

[based mod]

if it's as obvious as you say, then it should be a cakewalk for any lawyer

 

[oidreez]

damn ge explicitly told you he doesn't want you at the bar because of the way you look? might be time to look for a new job

 

[whyhellothere]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

I'm cute  and definitely not a man hater.

prove it to us.

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

The bar manager has said that he doesn't want me behind the bar because of me being obviously gay.

Time to get paid

 

[duba169]

I understand his position if it's based on looks. sexual preference not so much.

doesn't matter if you're a lesbian but it's always good for a flirty hot girl to be behind the bar

it's a unique job so I think looks can be applied. 99 percent of jobs I would say that's wrong

 

[0cks]

Damn it's like that in NYC? Thought ya'll yanks were better than that...

 

[alchemiss]

Originally Posted by DubA169

I understand his position if it's based on looks. sexual preference not so much.

doesn't matter if you're a lesbian but it's always good for a flirty hot girl to be behind the bar

it's a unique job so I think looks can be applied. 99 percent of jobs I would say that's wrong

I totally get this too... however when any table comes in I'm their favorite... including groups of straight dudes from Columbia.  I'm fun, good at my job, etc.  Also we all have uniforms, jeans and a T shirt that they gave us- so none of us can even show cleavage. 

 

[chosen one]

Originally Posted by Alchemiss

 I'm cute

Prove it.

 

[megatron]

You should take this up with a lawyer asap, not a bunch of a thirsty dudes on a message board. I wish you the best of luck. If he said out loud that it was because you're gay then you will have a solid case. It's a shame to see this going on especially since your one of their best people. Good luck, and no need to post a pic for these lames.

 

[flipnkraut]

Honestly you're not going to win in this one.
It would be the same situation as a dude or an obese woman being denied a position at Hooters. They can deny you for any reason, or for no reason at all.

Best to just move on and find a place that will hire you as a bartender.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Originally Posted by megatron

Good luck, and no need to post a pic for these lames.

She said she would so go play double dutch, dweeb.

 

[510hayward]

need pics

 

[megatron]

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Originally Posted by megatron

Good luck, and no need to post a pic for these lames.

She said she would so go play double dutch, dweeb.

Chill out, no need to resort to name calling, if you want to go see some females go hit up your favorite porn site or facebook, though.

 

[so nyuh shi dae]

You should tell him exactly how you feel and ask him why he's constantly hiring new people when you've been asking to become a bartender. Just be honest with him.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Originally Posted by megatron

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Originally Posted by megatron

Good luck, and no need to post a pic for these lames.

She said she would so go play double dutch, dweeb.

Chill out, no need to resort to name calling, if you want to go see some females go hit up your favorite porn site or facebook, though.

Oh. Word?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

As sad as it is, I think most owners believe the better the girl looks, the more business his company will get. So if you don't have THAT look, he probably doesn't want you there. Sad reality man.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

As sad as it is, I think most owners believe the better the girl looks, the more business his company will get. So if you don't have THAT look, he probably doesn't want you there. Sad reality man.

As unfortunate as it is, the truth of the matter is attractiveness sells.

I took a class on marketing and we looked at this. It's why people want a cute waitress, they'll tip her more, they're more likely to buy stuff when it's being pushed by a good looking female. Check out the women selling real estate. A great deal of them look like they could be models.

A lot of guys will do anything to be on the good side of an attractive female, so they're more likely to put down the money. It's just the way it is.

 

[adiosburritos]

you were hired as a server not as a bartender