Girls with trust issues vol. It'll never work

Originally Posted by eNPHAN

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, if you innocent, you shouldn't have any issue with proving your innocence....

i see what DC is saying, if you're innocent, you shouldn't even have to prove it...

but still, if you got nothing to hide, why you hiding?
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See that is where the issue we are having here.

My point in not allowing someone to snoop through my phone isn't to prove innocence/disprove guilt. It is to maintain my privacy.

If I were innocent or guilty, I am not showing you my phone because IT IS MY PHONE. I need you to respect me enough to NOT snoop through my things. Snooping isWRONG. It is a form of deception. Invading privacy is NOT a respectable act. Whether or not the person you are invading is telling the truth or lying.

So I am NOT hiding anything. Why is it considered hiding?

So for all of you females, say we are together right. And I refuse to let you LOOK THROUGH my phone. What happens next? Do you break up with me? Do yousecretly try to gain access to my phone when I am not looking? How do you handle that situation? I just can't believe you will never encounter a man thatshares the same views as I do when it comes to this subject matter. You will meet a dude and ask him to look through his phone and he would laugh in your damnface (like I would). You don't hold the power here man.
 
Well I was just going by what you asked. I wouldn't ask to go through a phone just because I felt like it but I really wouldn't see the problem if Idid. I just really don't get why you're so against the person you're in a serious relationship to look at your phone. But hey if that's how youfeel then you should just let the be known from the beginning so there won't be any issues like this to deal with in the future.
 
Originally Posted by cocolicious

Well I was just going by what you asked. I wouldn't ask to go through a phone just because I felt like it but I really wouldn't see the problem if I did. I just really don't get why you're so against the person you're in a serious relationship to look at your phone. But hey if that's how you feel then you should just let the be known from the beginning so there won't be any issues like this to deal with in the future.
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so why were you so shocked that i made you go through my phone?
 
Oh I always let it known from the jump. That is why I have never had this issue in my life. You respect my property. I respect your property. That is adiscussion I have when I am getting to know a woman.

The issue here is people have a sense of entitlement to other people's property simply because they are in a relationship. I do not believe in thisentitlement by any stretch.

I already told you why I am so against it LOL. So stop wondering.
 
Originally Posted by Nyota de la star

If I ever asked (which I really wouldn't) and he said no...I guess I would break-up w/ him and move on.
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You would seriously break up? Even if you don't suspect him doingANY dirt? Even if you have a STRONG relationship? You would break up? WOW. I hope you aren't saying this for the sake of this discussion
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Nyota de la star

If I ever asked (which I really wouldn't) and he said no...I guess I would break-up w/ him and move on.
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You would seriously break up? Even if you don't suspect him doing ANY dirt? Even if you have a STRONG relationship? You would break up? WOW. I hope you aren't saying this for the sake of this discussion
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I would never ask I didn't suspect anything.
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So even if you all had this talk from the jump that he doesn't believe in SNOOPING, you would break up with him for not allowing you to snoop through hisphone?
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

So even if you all had this talk from the jump that he doesn't believe in SNOOPING, you would break up with him for not allowing you to snoop through his phone?
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If I suspected him of any dirty work I would ask him up front about it first. Then see what happens from there.
Like I said before though, I really wouldn't have to snoop if I suspected something. Red flags come up way before that is even needed.
 
J Dilla Himself wrote:
so why were you so shocked that i made you go through my phone?



well first of all I was talking about people in relationships and anyways I was shocked because we had just met
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and I wouldn't givemy phone to someoneI just met.
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If he told you, NO, nothing is going on. I am being faithful. But you don't believe him. That is when you will want to see his phone. So he says NO, thisis not what I believe in. (which he told you from the jump).

So you still have NO DIRT on him, why are you breaking up with him again?

You would break up with him all because you are suspecting some things? But aren't finding anything?

All because he won't let you look through his phone?
 
if you're innocent and she needs reinforcement, i don't see the issue.....
 
The best relationship I have ever been (as far as trust) in was one where we never questioned each others trust and we were very very happy. If yourrelationship gets to the point where you feel the need to check phones, dig through emails, ect you both lost.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

If he told you, NO, nothing is going on. I am being faithful. But you don't believe him. That is when you will want to see his phone. So he says NO, this is not what I believe in. (which he told you from the jump).

So you still have NO DIRT on him, why are you breaking up with him again?

You would break up with him all because you are suspecting some things? But aren't finding anything?

All because he won't let you look through his phone?
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A woman's intuiton is always best.
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If I suspect dirty work usually I'm right (personally) because the signs are there.
If there are no signs then I have no reason to suspect in the first place.
 
Originally Posted by Nyota de la star

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

If he told you, NO, nothing is going on. I am being faithful. But you don't believe him. That is when you will want to see his phone. So he says NO, this is not what I believe in. (which he told you from the jump).

So you still have NO DIRT on him, why are you breaking up with him again?

You would break up with him all because you are suspecting some things? But aren't finding anything?

All because he won't let you look through his phone?
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A woman's intuiton is always best.
laugh.gif

If I suspect dirty work usually I'm right (personally) because the signs are there.
If there are no signs then I have no reason to suspect in the first place.
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woman's intuition is some made up fallacy..its poppycock..get a better excuse
 
No such thing as woman's intuition.

Like I asked, if you THINK something is up, but you NEVER find that "thing" and your last resort to find anything is to look through his phone, andhe REFUSES. That is grounds for you to break up with him, even though he already said that he is being 100% honest with you?
 
i don't think not giving access to your significant other is a sign that something is up. I mean, I'm just a very private person. Not just with myphone, but with everything. I don't give out my email addresses, i change my passwords frequently, I don't let anyone have access to my school recordsexcept for me, and it's only because I don't want my information floating out there for everyone. Why is it pertinent for you to know who I amcorresponding with? Do you really need to check all my emails and my text messages? Why do you need to know what's going on with me at school? These arethings that only directly affect ME, and I don't want you to be privy to something so sensitive.
 
when my girl gave me her email. i checked that *@! with the quickness. and lo and behold she was cheating on me. dumb *@!
 
one thing i dont understand is that girls can say things and basically make their jealousy obvious ..but it's ok for them to do it. But when us guys doit, we are over reacting and dont trust them.. its one of those confusing things that iam yet to understand.

Like for instance... I got a homegirl that hooks me up with EA games, shes a graphic designer for them and she happens to love wine and i happen to manage awinery in Napa Valley.. so we exchange wine for games.....anyways, my girl got my phone (her mom had just called me and i told her to call her back) and saw atext from her "thanks for the wine, enjoy the games" and she got all butthurt about it. But if i were to question her on a dude (not that i haveever gone through her phone) she would automatically say iam being VERY jealous and controlling... u know, my phone is personal, yet i dont got anything tohide therefore she can go throughout as much as she wished....

I love my girl to death but stuff gets to me sometime..any female input on this?


-UNDFT-
 
Originally Posted by Retro707

my girl got my phone (her mom had just called me and i told her to call her back) and saw a text from her "thanks for the wine, enjoy the games" and she got all butthurt about it. But if i were to question her on a dude (not that i have ever gone through her phone) she would automatically say iam being VERY jealous and controlling...
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Double-standards FTL!
 
a lot of the dudes in here sound like cheaters who are fishing for any excuse to establish extreme privacy. if i'm in a relationship with a girl and i knowi'm not doing anything, she can do whatever she wants with my phone. but the girls in here are right.. when girls have the inclination that their man ischeating, they're usually right. and generally when a girl realizes that her man is being faithful, she's not going to scrutinize him or treat himotherwise. it's all about perception.

anyway, girls need to realize that there's no good coming out of holding all men accountable for one man's actions. just because your ex cheated on youdoesn't mean i'm going to do the same. i know it's easier said than done but guarding yourself in order to avoid being hurt also stops you fromfalling in love in the long run. hurt and love are synonymous and you have to go through one in order to get the other.

if you seem worth it, we'll go through the initiation phase of proving ourselves as trustworthy gentleman but trust me, it's not fun. it seems like ihave to do this with every decent girl i meet.
 
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