I literally Don't Understand Dead Beat Dads

[truth-serum]

dead

View media item 1402869

 

[dakingii]

Ya'll foolsjust needa up your standards and ONLY smash chicks ya'll wouldn't be ashamed bringing around friends/fam

Now where's the fun in that?

 

[maldonado]

F that.

Some of y'all throwing out all kinds of crazy justifications for dads not handling theirs.

Theres no excuse.

States siding with the mom, having to work 2 jobs, etc. Etc.

None of that matters. If you fathered a child and you're about that child none of these obstacles would stop you from ultimately being a real dad to them and raising them properly.


Sad world, some of these kids literally have no chance from the jump.

 

[maldonado]

Sad world but let's not generalize dead beat dads as all having the same story about being selfish.

No excuses.

 

[mister doitnice]

Right. Apparently you have all the answers. Kudos.

 

[wayniac211]

smh at some of you individuals giving any understanding into why cats refuse to take care of their responsibilities.
wonder why the system caters to these females?? That's because the system raised that child. So much progression would occur in our society, only if we handle our responsibilities as fathers

 

[maldonado]

smh at some of you individuals giving any understanding into why cats refuse to take care of their responsibilities.
wonder why the system caters to these females?? That's because the system raised that child. So much progression would occur in our society, only if we handle our responsibilities as fathers

I'm saying.

Some folks got things extra twisted.

 

[maldonado]

Right. Apparently you have all the answers. Kudos.

Im' sorry you're confused.

 

[mister doitnice]

Not in the slightest. I'm actually living in reality, not an idealized version. Like I said though, kudos.

 

[maldonado]

Dudes raised without a father ain't gonna stick around to raise a kid themselves. They don't know anything other than their own experience. It's basic psychology.

Not true in my case.

 

[maldonado]

If you don't want children at the time, yes that's an L. Doesn't mean you won't love them.

Oh.

Awesome reasoning.

Whatever you need to make you feel better, do you.

 

[mister doitnice]

I thought so too. Thanks champ. You must have completely missed the part where I said I don't have kids and would never turn my back on family. Appreciate the quote.

 

[skurrtskurrt29]

youcan't legally impregnate a woman without their consent.

If a woman doesn't want a baby, she ain't having a baby.

The same can not be said for men t

What?

No, seriously, what do you mean? Because it sounds like you're absolving the man of blame because he can't get pregnant, am I right? So...the woman should get all the blame for two people consenting to unprotected sex, because she's the one who gets pregnant so she should know better

Having unprotected sex can lead to a child. Everyone knows this. So that logic you're using is ******ed.

 

[skurrtskurrt29]

F that.

Some of y'all throwing out all kinds of crazy justifications for dads not handling theirs.

Theres no excuse.

States siding with the mom, having to work 2 jobs, etc. Etc.

None of that matters. If you fathered a child and you're about that child none of these obstacles would stop you from ultimately being a real dad to them and raising them properly.


Sad world, some of these kids literally have no chance from the jump.

What's funny is, there's some mothers who are put in an equally "inconvenient" position but they still find a way to make it work for their child. But somehow these grown *** men look for any and every excuse to not be in their child's life.

 

[ksteezy]

But at the same time I can understand how many fathers are alienated from their children because of BM's like your buddy's.

The laws in this country give women preferential treatment. So much so that most of the time when two people split the children go with the mom because if the cops show up they're going to let her take the kids until the court hashes out custody.


So until then fathers are in limbo, paying child support and being marginalized. They have to see their kids when the mom sees fit, and what's worse is if they were married to their BM and owned a house together she takes the house as well.

So now a dude is probably living in an apartment, working double time to piece together his life while BM has the crib. Imagine how some men feel after barely being able to see their kids, losing their home & then to add insult to injury seeing another man enjoy the fruits of his labor when he moves in with BM.

I can understand and even empathize with some men who end up being "db dads" because at some point it's like what is a man to do?

Working X amount of hours a week to pay CS and rebuild his own savings account, I bet they would miss some weekends with the kids because I would imagine its damned hard to walk up that drive way of your old home seeing another man in it with the mother of your children to pick up your kids.

I don't think all absentee dads meant to be that way. I mean my own mom ripped me from my dad and took me to another state before their divorce was final and he tried his best to visit but when he would my mom would be verbally and physically abusive to him (they later made amends and remarried but that's besides the point).

I don't fault him for not always being there because I know there was more to the story.

And I don't judge others because I don't know their story. All we as fathers can do is try our very best to dedicate our lives to the children we brought into this world.

Sometimes society however, complicates that for some men.

BM was cool, she didn't want to take the kid away, he gave her no other option, he didn't want to be with her and she had no one else here, so her cousin gave her shelter, he takes care of him financially from what I know off, he's a responsible dude in that sense...but he's always been a bit selfish otherwise....anyways.

As many of you know, me and the wife have troubles conceiving, **** breaks my heart when I see people take for granted the ability to create a life....is precious, I'd give anything to be able to easily have a child, both the wife and I walk around with this huge void in our lives and desire to complete our family, **** hurts b.

 

[ksteezy]

What's funny is, there's some mothers who are put in an equally "inconvenient" position but they still find a way to make it work for their child. But somehow these grown *** men look for any and every excuse to not be in their child's life.

Financially the government plays the role of a providing father shall the dad walk away, majority of these single mothers sometimes don't even have to work...I know of unemployed women with 3 kids, all deadbeat dads, living pretty lavish for her circumstances, just off government assistance...blows my mind

 

[HEATHEN]

F that.

Some of y'all throwing out all kinds of crazy justifications for dads not handling theirs.

Theres no excuse.

States siding with the mom, having to work 2 jobs, etc. Etc.

None of that matters. If you fathered a child and you're about that child none of these obstacles would stop you from ultimately being a real dad to them and raising them properly.


Sad world, some of these kids literally have no chance from the jump.

I hate when folks address me without directly addressing me, it's annoying.

So, I'll address you directly instead.

Your rebuttal is overly simplistic and throws out pertinent socioeconomic factors that alienate fathers from their children. Policies and practices that rob fathers of resources and pigeonhole them as alleged deadbeat fathers need to be taken into account else you're only furthering the current state of custody law by simply shrugging them off as if those factors are immaterial.


There are policies that need to be changed and fathers need more autonomy to be with their children when they want to, not just when the mother sees fit.

 

[Based Jesus]

Some mothers, and the courts really do make it hard for guys to be in their kids lives. My cousin is a good example of this.

Got the wrong girl pregnant but didn't find out until after the child was born and now she's making his life difficult for no reason.

All situations aren't the same. Not every guy is gonna put up with the BS which I can understand.

And I grew up without a dad so I'm not in the business of making excuses for absent fathers.

 

[fontaine]

smh at some of you individuals giving any understanding into why cats refuse to take care of their responsibilities.
wonder why the system caters to these females?? That's because the system raised that child. So much progression would occur in our society, only if we handle our responsibilities as fathers

So if the state didn't step in and be so one side in domestic disputes, what would think would be the result?

What?

No, seriously, what do you mean? Because it sounds like you're absolving the man of blame because he can't get pregnant, am I right? So...the woman should get all the blame for two people consenting to unprotected sex, because she's the one who gets pregnant so she should know better

Having unprotected sex can lead to a child. Everyone knows this. So that logic you're using is ******ed.

I didn't mean to come across as blaming all on mother...

There are instances where women were swindled, raoed, or just young.

But let's be real here.

If a woman doesn't want to have a baby...

She doesn't have a baby.

Point blank period. Arguing that is ******ed.

Please tell me how a man has any real power over whether or not a child is brought into this world after conception..

I'd like to know.

A woman can take plan B or have an abortion.. Or keep the baby, no matter what the man thinks...



I would be MONEY that of the states didn't step in as Mich as they do, pregnancies would dip at an exponential rate, along with birth control and abortions going up at the same rate.

 

[ksteezy]

Simple solution, think of who you bust inside of before hand, blaming the system and policies is no excuse, things don't always have to work out between two people, but if you don't do a woman wrong and chose wisely who you have a baby with, chances are that woman won't keep you from your child or force you to take care of your child, YA can part ways in a civil way with the child's best interest at heart.....but a lot of guys, just want quick gratification, bang out a pretty chick without even knowing her just to say they did it, slip up and get her pregnant and get caught up in a mess and wanna blame "the system" nah man...your bed, you sleep in it brother.

 

[fontaine]

Simple solution, think of who you bust inside of before hand, blaming the system and policies is no excuse, things don't always have to work out between two people, but if you don't do a woman wrong and chose wisely who you have a baby with, chances are that woman won't keep you from your child or force you to take care of your child, YA can part ways in a civil way with the child's best interest at heart.....but a lot of guys, just want quick gratification, bang out a pretty chick without even knowing her just to say they did it, slip up and get her pregnant and get caught up in a mess and wanna blame "the system" nah man...your bed, you sleep in it brother.

why does no one ever say this about women?

Why does no one ever say "well... Maybe you should choose your guys based on their character... And not by him being a bad-*** or having swag?"



Imagine if Steve Harvey said that..

The world would implode.

And you're SEVERELY over estimating a LOT of women's mind set.

I've seen very smart and well rounded women lose their **** when their baby's father decides he still wants to take care of the child but not be in a relationship.

Its very fluid, and no right answer... But let's not pretend women are all compliant and are willing to work it out amicably

 

[HEATHEN]

BM was cool, she didn't want to take the kid away, he gave her no other option, he didn't want to be with her and she had no one else here, so her cousin gave her shelter, he takes care of him financially from what I know off, he's a responsible dude in that sense...but he's always been a bit selfish otherwise....anyways.

As many of you know, me and the wife have troubles conceiving, **** breaks my heart when I see people take for granted the ability to create a life....is precious, I'd give anything to be able to easily have a child, both the wife and I walk around with this huge void in our lives and desire to complete our family, **** hurts b.

Well that's truly unfortunate to hear about your dude.

Still it doesn't change the fact that there are alleged DB dads doing everything in their power to be there for their kids but spiteful mothers exploit the system to stiff the dad.

I have a friend in that very situation. She cheated, he wanted to break up amicably, she didn't want to lose him, he didn't want to be with her, she raged, got physical, even destroyed his personal property. Custody battle underway, he has emptied his bank account and sold a sizable amount of his personal possessions to pay for his attorney to no avail, she took his son to another state.

Now he's young, he was a teenager when he had his son, he graduated last year with his bachelors and is going to med school and working full time. I don't know when the last time his BM allowed him to see his son but dude works his *** off so he can become a MD and one day convince the court he deserves full custody.

Now if he doesn't drop what he's doing and visits his son when SHE sees fit, all in another state, is he a DB dad? If he stops working then he can't pay CS.

System ain't help him one bit and there are many alleged DB dad's facing the same reality as he is. Whole thing ain't so black and white there is a huge grey area.

 

[skurrtskurrt29]

I didn't mean to come across as blaming all on mother...

There are instances where women were swindled, raoed, or just young.

But let's be real here.

If a woman doesn't want to have a baby...

She doesn't have a baby.

Point blank period. Arguing that is ******ed.

Please tell me how a man has any real power over whether or not a child is brought into this world after conception..

I'd like to know.

A woman can take plan B or have an abortion.. Or keep the baby, no matter what the man thinks...



I would be MONEY that of the states didn't step in as Mich as they do, pregnancies would dip at an exponential rate, along with birth control and abortions going up at the same rate.

I'll give you that. I just don't agree that the man isn't somehow to blame for an accidental pregnancy. Everybody is well aware of what can happen.

 

[Maximus Meridius]

I've made peace with the fact my father is a coward. First time I saw him was when I was 15 and that's the last time I seen him. When I tell people that they're shocked cuz of the type of person I am. I pretty much had to teach myself how to be a man and learn from my mistakes and other people's mistakes. There's a few older dudes at my job I listen to, I just sit back and listen and imply it to my life. It's still tough though but you gotta play the hand you been dealt.

Dudes raised without a father ain't gonna stick around to raise a kid themselves. They don't know anything other than their own experience. It's basic psychology.

Not true in my case.

That's not true in a lot cases. Most of the males in my family between 25-35 didn't have fathers and all of 'em are in their kids lives. It seems like the 80's and early 90's was the era of deadbeat fathers. At least that's what I see.

 

[HEATHEN]

Some mothers, and the courts really do make it hard for guys to be in their kids lives. My cousin is a good example of this.
Got the wrong girl pregnant but didn't find out until after the child was born and now she's making his life difficult for no reason.

All situations aren't the same. Not every guy is gonna put up with the BS which I can understand.
And I grew up without a dad so I'm not in the business of making excuses for absent fathers.

Exactly, some women are spiteful. They would like nothing better than for people to believe her baby daddy is a deadbeat.

They'll deny their child a relationship with their biological father so they can feel better about themselves. They'll put up every roadblock available until it becomes abundantly clear to the father that he is not welcome in their life. She'll even brainwash the child into believing he doesn't want to be there even if that couldn't be further than the truth (my own mom did this but I knew better).

So if a father is not capable of having a civil, professional relationship with a child's mother then I can understand how some distance themselves instead of allowing a toxic dynamic between the mother and himself become a part of his child's life.

In a way they take the high road. It's ****** up but some women don't want it any other way.