Our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ: The Teenage Years

[i am that dude]

I don't profess to be a Biblical historian or Theology "expert" or anything of that matter but I have a question that has always bothered me. What was Jesus like as a teenager? Doesn't the Bible seem to go from his birth, then jump all the way to him being in his 30s? Like, did he go to school? He was a carpenter right? How'd that happen, and why does he never build anything in the Bible using his carpentry skills? It's like there was a board room and the writers were coming up with the story taking ideas, started most logically with birth and infanthood, then just got lazy and were like !+*! it, let's jump to 30's and add some magic tricks, people love magic.

Also, why does he appear to like to pick on the down trodden? Take 3rd world countries for example, they get the most famine, disease, natural disaster, and overall despair. Even with the US, worst lives for the poor than the rich, right? Look at Asia for example. *snaps finger* Tsunami! People cry in terror for mercy. LoL! Earthquake! *snap* Famine! Disease! Is it because they believe in other Gods? Shouldn't he give them a break given that the likelihood of one being Christian in some countries is next to 0. Did Gandhi get into Heaven?

Cliffs:
Jesus hates the poor
prefers white people
somehow skipped in age from 1 to 36 in the Bible

 

[antonlavey]

Jesus is one of my fave religious figures. I wish his followers were more like him.

 

[i am that dude]

If he is like super heroes in other tv shows and movies, he was probably an awkward, antisocial teenager. They always are. And they always suck with their superpowers at first too before they reign then in so he was probably trying to heel someone of leprosy one time, cast the wrong spell and like gave them a 3rd arm.

Also, females. Did Jesus ever even get any? I mean, lots of dudes in the Bible. Lots of dudes and Jesus, but no chics really.

 

[justforsneaks]

in before the atheists 

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

If he is like super heroes in other tv shows and movies, he was probably an awkward, antisocial teenager. They always are. And they always suck with their superpowers at first too before they reign then in so he was probably trying to heel someone of leprosy one time, cast the wrong spell and like gave them a 3rd arm.

Also, females. Did Jesus ever even get any? I mean, lots of dudes in the Bible. Lots of dudes and Jesus, but no chics really.

You're asking a lot of valid questions, that's going to piss people off

I guess what you're tryna say is we really don't know much about Jesus Christ.

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Jesus is one of my fave religious figures. I wish his followers were more like him.

Come on, wishing people never existed is cruel.

 

[falcon4567]

There's some stuff in the Infancy Gospel of Thomas. A popular theory is that he traveled East towards China and India.

Also the Bible doesn't go from Manger to Apostles. We see him as a child arguing with the Pharisees.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Jesus is one of my fave religious figures. I wish his followers were more like him.

Come on, wishing people never existed is cruel.

Buddy Jesus sees what you did there.


I'm believe Jesus existed, was he doing all that magical bull$$$#...no. Is he the son of "God", most likely not.

 

[i am that dude]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by I AM THAT DUDE

If he is like super heroes in other tv shows and movies, he was probably an awkward, antisocial teenager. They always are. And they always suck with their superpowers at first too before they reign then in so he was probably trying to heel someone of leprosy one time, cast the wrong spell and like gave them a 3rd arm.

Also, females. Did Jesus ever even get any? I mean, lots of dudes in the Bible. Lots of dudes and Jesus, but no chics really.

You're asking a lot of valid questions, that's going to piss people off

I guess what you're tryna say is we really don't know much about Jesus Christ.

I mean if the authors aren't even going to make a good faith effort into writing the story, I'm just not going to put forth the effort to believe it. Even Santa Clause, who is only meant to be believed in for about 6 yrs, has a more complete, well developed story. He has pets, a wife, a home, we know what he looks like, employees, keeps note of who is naughty or nice where as Jesus just punishes for it but no mention of how he tabulates it, hell I think if you create a church revolving around Santa I'm in there; but I'm still sitting in the back because after about 90 minutes I gotta tip out so I can get to AppleBee's before everyone else *$% and still have a chance at getting home and catching the entire 2nd game of the double header.

 

[nflowshoe]

  

 

[newmoanyuh]

There was this whole documentary based on your question and they actually explained it pretty well. The only thing I remember was Jesus playing with his friend and his friend fell off a roof. The adults went to talk to him about it and he brought lil dude back to life. He actually was kind of a mischief-maker in his younger years. However, the book about his younger years is very controversial and isnt in the bible for some reason. Im 70% sure that there is a documentary on this the other 30% says that this may have been a dream.

 

[onewearz]

NT smokes entirely too much weed

 

[i am that dude]

Originally Posted by onewearz

NT smokes entirely too much weed

Never touched the stuff, hell never seen it actually. I don't think Christianity is so infallible that you have to be a weedhead to question it. These are pretty valid questions, even if you subtract the somewhat smart alecky, sarcistic tone.

 

[dland24]

Never touched the stuff?

I've always wondered about Jesus as a kid or teenager. Interesting question isnt it?

 

[waveyjoneslocker]

Where are the mini-mods when you need them?

 

[jthagreat]

interesting indeed.

 

[dt43]

answer: he went through a guido stage

 

[arstyle27]

No such thing.

 

[i am that dude]

 

[maelstroom]

I would assume helping Joseph with carpenter work.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by DT43

answer: he went through a guido stage

CRUCIFIED

I'm going to hell

 

[mycoldyourdone]

jesus was avg to above avg height, slim white male. how generic can you get.

if anything, he was probably just a magician. on some penn and teller steez.

 

[james earl zones]

@ going to hell.

I seen't it.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Mycoldyourdone

jesus was avg to above avg height, slim white male. how generic can you get.

if anything, he was probably just a magician. on some penn and teller steez.

Jesus was middle eastern, are you being sarcastic? Jesus looked like Osama Bin Laden. Europeans have done an excellent job in portraying dude as the blonde haired blue eyed savior of all races.

 

[i am that dude]

Jumpman Jesus