To atheists/agnostics...Mature discussion please

[illmatic34]

Specifically targeting Blacks/Filipinos/anybody whose families are REALLY religious...

I'm a Filipino and I was born into Catholicism. If you are Filipino, you know how religious our people are. I now identify myself as agnostic. My question to you is, do you ever plan on telling anyone that you don't believe? If you did how did that person react?

I've always thought this was social suicide, especially if all of your friends and family are religious. I've noticed specifically in my culture and black culture how strong the presence of Christianity is in both cases and how large the ramifications could be if you told people your real affiliation. I would like to tell others, but I think my family would disown me to be honest. Anyone in this situation or knew someone in this situation?

 

[dt43]

I'm from a strict African household, not even gonna think about telling my parents until I'm much older. When I'm home I pretty much just go through the motions out of respect. It doesn't bother me that much, I know my parents are good people regardless of what they believe.

 

[miketysonthekiller]

I tell my family members that I'm not religious if they don't already know jsut to get it out of the damn way. INB4 advertising. I mean, they have to find out one day, right? might as well do it asap and keep it moving. Their reaction? don't care which I appreciate a lot. The only person who actually gave me a bit of sass about it was my grandma. She told me she'd pray for me and then tried to make me feel bad saying god did this and that and all that, but you just gotta keep it moving. Its actually kinda sweet sour type of deal since she wants to convert me again everytime we see each other. Good thing she's miles away b.

I'm' hispanic/latino if it matters.

 

[iblink]

Nah. I don't tell anyone actually. The relationship I do or do not have with God is for me alone. I don't partake in their religious services or talk bout their beliefs, so I expect them to respect me enough to do the same for me.

 

[thunderchunk69]

just have to wait for your parents to die
serious

 

[shogun]

I'm Filipino. Most people already know I don't follow a religion. Family friends who don't know are always asking we went to church during the holidays.

 

[tommyicerocking]

I'd probably get kicked outta my house if I told my parents my thoughts on religion and thier beliefs

 

[iYen]

Specifically targeting Blacks/Filipinos/anybody whose families are REALLY religious...

I'm a Filipino and I was born into Catholicism. If you are Filipino, you know how religious our people are. I now identify myself as agnostic. My question to you is, do you ever plan on telling anyone that you don't believe? If you did how did that person react?

I've always thought this was social suicide, especially if all of your friends and family are religious. I've noticed specifically in my culture and black culture how strong the presence of Christianity is in both cases and how large the ramifications could be if you told people your real affiliation. I would like to tell others, but I think my family would disown me to be honest. Anyone in this situation or knew someone in this situation?

When you put it like that, yes it kind of is like social suicide. Then again, pretending to be about something that you're not isn't too fun either. If I know I'm talking to someone who's religious, I avoid talking about it with them. Unless they bring it and are open minded about it.

Yes. I tell anyone who asks or anyone who is my close friend.

I've told my dad. He didn't take it too well.

Spoiler: Here's%20what%20I%20posted%20a%20while%20back.

After 9 years of doubting religion, I finally told my very religious dad that I don't believe in what he believes.
I was making oatmeal and my dad walks in the house.
I knew he had been at church.
On sundays, my dad is always subtly trying to get my to go to church, which almost never happens.
Mind you, from 2006 to now, I don't think I can count how many times I've been to church on both hands.
On the church service for christmas, I was very adamant on not going.
I think that's what sparked his flame for trying to get me to go to church.
I'm assuming that his new year's revolution was to get me to go to church because he started talking about how I'm going to start serving god, going to church, etc.
Here's the start of the conversation with my dad.
Me: That's not my decision.
Dad: What, I don't understand.
Me: It's not my decision to serve god, go to church or do any of that stuff. Those are all your decisions not mine.
About 30min. go by and he walks into my room talking about how much god has done for him.
I have and still am VERY appreciative of the things my dad has done for me.
Each and every time he does something for me no matter how little or how big, I express my gratitude to him.
I don't think he's okay with that, he wants me to express my gratitude to god, that's not happening.
Me: You deserve the gratitude much more than god does.
Dad: Don't thank me, thank god.
By the end of the conversation, I had told him that I don't need to praise god, go to church, etc.
He said, you're old enough to make your own decisions and I'm fine with where ever those decisions lead you, but don't come back asking for my help.
After that he walks out of my room.
I don't know where to go from here.
I know in the future this conversation will be brought up again.
Who else has had to have this type of conversation with their parents?

tl;dr
Told my dad I don't believe in what he believes.
Goes on rant about how much god has done for him.
I say I'm not cool with you imposing what you believe onto my life.
Conversation ends with him saying go on whatever path in life you choose but don't come back asking for my help.
Who else has gone through this?

Disowning? If that's how you feel, I'd advise that you wait until you're financially independent to tell your family. Then again, they might push your buttons and your true thoughts about religion may come out in the spur of the moment. If you feel like you're putting up a facade just so people will "accept" you, then you may become even more unhappy.

Withholding that info can lead people to think that you're something that you're not. This can be troublesome if you're doing it to someone who you consider to be a true friend of yours.

If there are people in your life that you think are worth a damn, then I think you owe it to them to tell them the truth. I'm not saying that you have to. All I'm saying is that telling who ever you think should now, will prove to you whether or not you should keep that person in your life. Disclaimer advise this excludes parents.

 

[jerryjones]

i've told my parents..my dad pretty much already knew..my mom just couldn't process what i was saying..like she literally couldn't grasp the concept that i didn't believe in jesus

 

[illmatic34]

Thanks for the advice iYen. It's hard, but I feel I have to tell them eventually. Just don't know how long that'll be.

Another question: Anyone here attend church every Sunday or used to?

 

[SoleByThePound]

Nah. I don't tell anyone actually. The relationship I do or do not have with God is for me alone. I don't partake in their religious services or talk bout their beliefs, so I expect them to respect me enough to do the same for me.

Same philosophy I have on the subject as well.

 

[jerryjones]

Thanks for the advice iYen. It's hard, but I feel I have to tell them eventually. Just don't know how long that'll be.
Another question: Anyone here attend church every Sunday or used to?

yea i was raised in the church, went every sunday..i still go with my mom from time to time

 

[trilluminated]

nothing good can come from telling them, especially if they're really as religious as you say they are.

 

[antonlavey]

nothing good can come from telling them, especially if they're really as religious as you say they are.

I reveal my non-religiousness based on age. I'm a full-blown blasphemous, religious free agent with friends, my siblings and other people my age. With my mom I drop obvious hints but I don't think she cares the older I get. I blatantly tell my dad I'm not catholic but only cause he's annoying with the preaching. With my grandmother (RIP |I) I put on an act.

 

[iYen]

Thanks for the advice iYen. It's hard, but I feel I have to tell them eventually. Just don't know how long that'll be.

Another question: Anyone here attend church every Sunday or used to?

I did when I was a kid. For about 8 years or so. By the time I got to high school, I went less and less.

Now I rarely go at all. Today I went, but that was only because my mom asked me to.

 

[servechilled81]

As an atheist how to you deal with losing a loved one?  I just found out that a family member was diagnosed with cancer and basically has

days to live.  I'm not a religious person, but I don't know how to feel, I feel like I want to pray, or something, but I don't know what.  My cousins are about to

lose a parent, and they've taken it as well as someone could in that situation and I feel like it's because they have their faith.  I feel like when I was younger

and had some faith, I could say a prayer or whatever and make peace with it, but now I don't know what to do

may not be the topic of this thread, but I just needed to get that out, i'm feeling panicky just typing it

 

[ballahb]

Nah. I don't tell anyone actually. The relationship I do or do not have with God is for me alone. I don't partake in their religious services or talk bout their beliefs, so I expect them to respect me enough to do the same for me.

Sums it up

 

[illmatic34]

As an atheist how to you deal with losing a loved one?  I just found out that a family member was diagnosed with cancer and basically has
days to live.  I'm not a religious person, but I don't know how to feel, I feel like I want to pray, or something, but I don't know what.  My cousins are about to
lose a parent, and they've taken it as well as someone could in that situation and I feel like it's because they have their faith.  I feel like when I was younger
and had some faith, I could say a prayer or whatever and make peace with it, but now I don't know what to do
may not be the topic of this thread, but I just needed to get that out, i'm feeling panicky just typing it

I am actually in this predicament as well. My family member has end stage pancreatic cancer and her days are numbered. It's tricky, but the best bet is to talk to someone you trust. Just tell them how you feel about the situation. I think this is one of the benefits of religion; whether or not someone actually hears your prayers, at the very least it is therapeutic and a coping mechanism. On the other hand realize that you have only one life and that you should make the most of it. Basically, in this situation I would just talk to anyone who would listen and let your feelings out that way.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

my moms is religious like that. she went to church a few times, tried to get me to go. if i told her i didnt believe in that stuff she would prolly be cool with it. my uncle married 3 years ago to a heavy christian woman. she got him following the bible and going to church every sunday. i bet they would never even talk to me again if i told them

i told another uncle and he said he has his doubts too

 

[antonlavey]

As an atheist how to you deal with losing a loved one?  I just found out that a family member was diagnosed with cancer and basically has
days to live.  I'm not a religious person, but I don't know how to feel, I feel like I want to pray, or something, but I don't know what.  My cousins are about to
lose a parent, and they've taken it as well as someone could in that situation and I feel like it's because they have their faith.  I feel like when I was younger
and had some faith, I could say a prayer or whatever and make peace with it, but now I don't know what to do
may not be the topic of this thread, but I just needed to get that out, i'm feeling panicky just typing it

My grandmother recently died of pancreatic cancer and I've been there from the diagnosis to her death. I've also had quite a few other deaths of loved ones this year. I was absolutely devastated but I got through it. If religion helps you get through a loss that is fine but I was genuinely angry at anyone who related these deaths in anyway to Jesus or God.


If they are religious pray with them for their comfort even if it may not bring you any comfort.

 

[dman22193]

Only told my aunt and she's super brainwashed and indoctrinated that she doesn't think it makes sense to be anything other than Christian. I couldn't keep avoiding her religious questions.

but meh, if they find it and don't agree its their issue.

 

[powerballin]

Keep it to yourself and your life will be easier.  Don't lie but don't be disrespectful to loved ones.  Just play the game. 

 

[dt43]

As an atheist how to you deal with losing a loved one?  I just found out that a family member was diagnosed with cancer and basically has
days to live.  I'm not a religious person, but I don't know how to feel, I feel like I want to pray, or something, but I don't know what.  My cousins are about to
lose a parent, and they've taken it as well as someone could in that situation and I feel like it's because they have their faith.  I feel like when I was younger
and had some faith, I could say a prayer or whatever and make peace with it, but now I don't know what to do
may not be the topic of this thread, but I just needed to get that out, i'm feeling panicky just typing it

I just want to point out that there's no rule that says you have to view death negatively. The reason why you feel the need to do so is because Western society conditions people to look at death as "evil" or unwanted. In the same way that Western culture conditioned people to believe in God. We're growing out of theism, but the disdain for death is an artifact that still remains, even among people who claim to have abandoned all such religious ideas. So for as long as you choose to buy into that viewpoint, you're going to continue to feel uncomfortable about death and about loved ones dying.


When you take a step back, it's almost amusing that our society mourns death. We know from jump that we're all going to die, shouldn't that be the very first thing we accept and incorporate in our general day-to-day reality? Instead we spend our whole lives trying to run away from it. In many ancient cultures, the process of death was accepted and even welcomed. For Native Americans, elders who were about to die actually gained an elevated status within the community. I honestly wonder how long people in this current iteration of society will continue to beat their heads against the wall when it comes to death.


Why don't you take this as an opportunity to make peace with the reality of death? We will all die someday. Yes your family member will eventually die, but so will her children who are mourning, and you, and me. I'm not saying you shouldn't grieve. But when you do grieve, don't grieve because your family member is going to die, because that would make as much sense as grieving that the sun goes down at night. Grieve simply because the time has come for you to grieve. Let all of your feelings out about the situation, and when it's time to move on you move on.

 

[Master Zik]

Family full of jokers so I don't take their talk seriously.

 

[welcometothetonezone]

I'm agnostic, borderline atheist. Told my parents, mom still pray that I find god =\.

Idk if I'll ever find religion back again, I can't agree with condoning the views of others. I have a good feeling of what's "right" and what's "wrong" anyway. I think my morale compass is strong at least, with or without a god.