Anyone completely stop drinking?

[dhart48]

I've been trying lately; do pretty good during the week but weekends definitely kills me; I just wish to stay at home all day and not go out and participate in going out
what do yal do on the weekend to keep you good? All my boys drink and family ; so just want to stay away; maybe hitting the gym at night and going to sleep might help

Whats stopping you from doing that? I just don't go to the party or activity if it involves drinking. I went to a get together with some of my wife's friends/coworkers and just told her I didn't want to go anymore because it's pointless. I kinda just returned to who I was before I started drinking
-I read books and work on my scripts
- Check out what's going on in the tech world and upgrade my jailbroken stuff, mainly my ps3
- I enjoy hikes, so I do those.
- look up recipes(now vegan) to cook for the week
- plan my wedding anniversary trip in december and this other trip I got in october
-hit up other people in the program to see how they're doing
-hit up my old friends, who were never big drinkers anyways(I was actually the one who always wanted to drink)

a little bit of fun mixed with responsibility. It's hard but if you can self start yourself up, you'll be good. For me it's when I feel like l plateau and there's nothing I can be doing and I've worked hard enough so I've earned that drink or blunt or whatever. The trick for me is my work is never done

 

[tomdiginson]

For me it's every now and then. When I go out now I have a drink or two or I don't get any alcohol and that's it. If I want something to drink, I'll get soda.

 

[dhart48]

How's everyone doing?

Wife leaving tomorrow morning for a 2 day work conference, so I'll be home alone. I'm a little anxious but nothing too bad. I reached out to a recovery friend of mine who recently went back to work to see if he wanted to hit up an evening meeting, maybe grab a bite to eat after, so we'll see how that goes. I also have my days planned on what I'm going to be doing and activities. Mind has def been playing tricks on me, with what I think I can get away with. It helped that I hit a meeting last night and the 630am today and plan on doing the early morning meetings while she's gone.

I had a situation come up that also made me pretty resentful also. Had to do with my Brother in law being in town for his bday. He started a group(fam) text but for some reason instead of it being displayed normally with all the contacts numbers, I got some weird google voice number from him, but when I looked at my wifes it was displayed how you'd normally see it. I'd get only his text and nor he or anyone else could see mine. I was pretty upset just because I was working on set overnight so I didn't go to hangout because I was drained and reached out to wish him a happy bday and try to catch up. It was frustrating and I honestly felt left out and vented to my wife and automatically jumped to the conclusion that it was purposely done( I honestly don't know how that could be a mistake) So i went to a meeting to set my mind straight, as soon as I said that serenity prayer and settled in, I honestly didn't care anymore. I also journaled out my frustrations beforehand which helped a lot. I left social media altogether also, just because people try so hard and all of my film collaborators will post something to make it seem like they're working on something big when in reality, it isn't. Or they post these cryptic status that some big is coming.

I just need to focus on doing me right now. So far so good, I was pretty productive today

 

[951guero]

That's good to hear man; keep it going
Had a pretty wild weekend
Sucks but now I'm realizing not to binge like I do
Now hoping to get back on it

 

[Baby Newport]

I gotta chill.

 

[Top Boy]

 

[sooperhooper]

I've never really considered stopping drinking until this past weekend. I had a bad experience with marijuana (I'm not really a smoker and I accidentally hit some potent stuff way too hard). Scariest experience I've ever encountered. After that, I value my sanity more than ever. I don't see myself indulging in any mind altering substances for the foreseeable future.

 

[ROYGBiV]

Well I drank at the wedding. At first it was fine. But as you know with an open bar and friends all around it can be a deadly mix. Ended up blacking out. Don't remember anything after a certain point. Don't know how I got home or anything. Luckily my friends looked out for me. Apparently I threw up all over myself and fell down some stairs. I have scratches and a lump on my head.

I'm posting this on here to show how embarrassing this is. I felt horrible not knowing what I did. Ended up texting everyone the next day with an apology. They all said it was fine. If anything I was just too drunk but I didn't do anything to offend my friends or the family of the newly weds.

Idk how it got so bad, but I definitely feel defeated. Feel embarrassed of myself. Even though my friends said I shouldn't feel bad, I do. It's safe to say I learned my lesson. I'm honestly done drinking.

I'm just glad my friends were there for me and that I didn't do anything to ruin my boys wedding day. I certainly don't like babysitting drunk people so I appreciate them for looking out.

 

[slighted]

^ Tough situation, especially since this happened at your boy's wedding.

At least now you'll take this as a lesson.

 

[thenewjs23]

Non-drinker here, for the win!

 

[dhart48]

How's everyone doing?
16 more days and I'll have a year. It's been trying for sure as I've somewhat been in similar situations I was in last year(before my relapse) but I'm dealing with them in completely different ways. That seriously doesn't make things easier, either.
One thing is the amount of recovery friends I've met has gone down considerably. Always seems to happen, but I hit people up just to touch base or chat or hit up a meeting......no response. It gets annoying, since i'm looking for some constants in my life.
Haven't been to a meeting in a week and a half, which is the longest I've gone during this go around. I'll be hitting an evening one tonight though.

My mother in law lost her brother just last week, so for the first time in almost a year I saw my SIL, who twice tried to talk to me when I didn't want to be bothered and I told myself if she attempted a 3rd time I would've just told her to **** off and if she wasn't going to directly address the email I wrote to her a year ago, then we have nothing to discuss. She never did though and left me alone. I may do it anyways just because I'm at a point where I don't want to be phony with anyone, and she was trying extra hard to do just that. Even told my wife she could make me a plate of food if I needed it.
Honestly I just think she needs something, and she needs me to be on board, which I won't be because, I simply don't care about whatever situation she's got herself into.
Driving home I told my wife little things I noticed about her that let me know she's still a pretty crappy person and that I honestly can't regret letting whatever friendship we had go. i def walk the line of resentment.

On a brighter note, with my wife's bday coming up, a few of her close coworkers wanted to have a bbq for her and another person. I declined to not go but drop my wife off and pick her up since there would be a ridiculous amount of drinking and smoking, since its the hosts bday week also. Since she(the host) knows about my recovery and knew me back in my drinking days along with the others in the group, they did express that they miss me and seeing us(my wife and I) together, so they didn't mind doing other things that aren't so built around drinking and smoking. So maybe later on this month we'll probably do a date night or something, which is cool. I appreciate it. A bunch of people have family in recovery that they worry about since(like me) they just don't come around if there's drinking involved and they didn't want me to feel like that. Made me feel good when my wife told me that.
I remember my wife was keen on doing anniversaries and going every month with me to get a chip, none of that this time around(oh when you let someone down). I did ask her to take the 20th off, so we could do a hike in Muir Woods and that would be it. No dinner, no chip meeting(at least not with her) just a nice quiet hike, to quietly celebrate something I still have to do for the rest of my life.

 

[frshstunna]

dhart48 Yo u always got us in this thread mane ...congrats on the year

 

[ekinskywalker]

I have 6 years / 5 mos. / 6 days sober thanks to an anonymous program

GO HELP SOMEONE... it will make you get out of yourself and stop thinking about your problems... Not that feeling "GOOD" all the time is the outcome but you DO end up feeling good as a result...

THat's the whole premise of 12 step programs


I volunteer at a 12 step call center
3 months ago I received a phone call from a guy who wanted to go to a meeting
I usually just refer people to a person on the 12th step (service step) call list
But I said to myself "What the HEY" I'll pick you up and we'll go to a meeting.

I pull up to this place and it's a Mental Health Hospital, he told me it was a Detox but I had to go through 2 Security Doors that didn't readily open from the inside.

I'm shaping this Dude up to be about 6' (I'm 5'7" exactly) and he's got a prison physique.

I"m lke AWWW Shiiiiii I got a Michael Meyers

Anyways... I signed him out, we went to the meeting and I see this chick who was doing community service at my 12 step office. I'm like AWW SHIIIII!!! I got frickin' Leatherface with me.

SO I had my boy take him home and I get calls from him the next day Tombout he's psychotic and whatever....

 

[dhart48]

dhart48 Yo u always got us in this thread mane ...congrats on the year

thanks for the kind words, you know I just try and put my story out there and hope it sticks with someone and they can relate and they know they aren't alone and this struggle is real.
also trying not to jinx it but thanks man
[

 

[dhart48]

How is everyone?
Going up to tahoe with my wife and MIL to celebrate my wife's bday. I should be fine but I just got off the phone with my wife to finalize plans and then I could hear her walking away from the public area she's in, so I'm wondering what's up. She then tells me her job got her a bottle of some alcohol and she doesn't know what to do, because she wants to keep it. I told her thats fine but please don't bring it up again. Don't tell me what type it is, the brand, where you plan on keeping it, if it's even gonna be in our home.

I honestly told her I wish she hadn't told me, but she just said she felt weird keeping something from me. Now it's on the brain, can't front. Too late to hit up a meeting, may hit up a friend. Got medication too that I only take when I'm in situations like this, so I'm packing that with me. I kinda hope she kills it with her mom, but thats not gonna happen......it's just a feeling and it'll pass

I just feel guilty about my thoughts because she was just talking about how she's happy to be able to come home after a *****y day(she was having one) and not have me passed out on the couch or having coherent convos I'll remember about her day and how she's feeling or me swearing up and down I'm not drunk while I try to serve her half cooked food for dinner.
It really got me emotional especially since it feels like she doesn't realize the hard work I'm putting in and socially the sacrifices I have to make, that sometimes are extremely hard to make, but that's just all in my head, and mind tricks of my disease.

I hope all is well with you my NT fam

 

[gwap]

That free cranberry juice at the bars is clutch. Throw two straws in that *** and get your mingle on. When I get back home with a few number and no money spent, I wonder why I hadn't stopped drinking sooner. Few months in.

 

[Canadian Destroyer]

Stopped cold turkey in January 2016 and haven't touched a drink since.
One thing that helped was that not all my friends drink so I'm not surrounded by it all the time.
When I hang out at a work event or in a big group it's not as hard because everyone is doind their own thing it's really when you're with a small group that you feel like the odd man out. I'll still hang out at a bar with friends and not drink because at this point u just couldn't pay me to drink. I'd prob get drunk with one beer.
Asking girls out and going on the first date is weird tho. Not going to a dive bar for drinks on a first date just doesn't feel right man.

I was aleays a casual drinker never got into it heavy so it wasn't as difficult for me to stop. Props to everyone on here staying sober.

 

[tupac jordan]

I've known my friends for 25 years & haven't ever hung out with them sober lol.

 

[Coromanti]

I'm only 2-3 weeks in. Pretty good so far. Got offered drinks yesterday and said no thanks without thinking about it.

 

[dhart48]

It's been awhile
How is everyone?
I'm good, just got back from Charleston, SC for a wedding. It was my brother in law wifes sister(guess she's my in law also) It was fun for sure, since we saw the side of the fam my Brother in law married and of course my 18 month niece, which I hardly see. First 2 days the wife and I just grubbed. Saw some sights and explored.
The only brutal part for me alcohol wise was the airport, we had a 1 hour layover which wasn't bad but on the way home we had a 3 hour layover and there are bars everywhere at the airport, it really sucked, and when I have it shoved in my face like that, just gets me really sad/mad/depressed
I'm usually more prepared, but I was just completely off guard and really didn't expect to be overwhelmed

The wedding itself was at an amazing venue and of course there was an open bar but I steered clear and made sure I always had some of their non alcoholic drinks in hand, they had some good ones too, I also didn't go with the rest of the family when they went to get drinks. so that def helped. My mother in law was there and of course my SIL, who I still just don't talk to or even acknowledge when she comes around.
One thing that was awesome is that when we had a moment alone my BIL(who was pretty busy throughout the wedding, including officiating) told me how proud he was of me on passing a year last month. It meant a lot for sure.
The next day they invited guest on some boat ride and I had already planned with my wife that I wouldn't attend, because I wasn't going to be trapped on some boat with alcohol and people getting hammered. So I went and saw Blade Runner by myself.

One thing that I found out from my wife was that my estranged SIL apparently was talking about how she was still hungover from the heavy drinking and sleeping pills she mixed(wasn't a first time) and my BIL and wife were kinda shocked and tried to hammer it home that it wasn't cool, but I guess she just laughed it off. My heart kinda sunk, because to me this is an issue that you can't really tip toe around. At the same time, it's totally not my place to interject in anyway especially since I don't consider her really anything to me, I just listened to my wife and encouraged her to talk to her sister about it in more depth, which she planned on doing anyways.

All in all just staying busy, meticulously planning out my days, so I'm never bored and making sure I reach out, while being there for others

 

[SC kid]

Charleston is great


I don't keep up with this thread but I'm sure you've posted this.......

But what caused you to stop drinking?

 

[dhart48]

Charleston is great


I don't keep up with this thread but I'm sure you've posted this.......

But what caused you to stop drinking?

Page 3 in this thread is a lot more detail on myself. But I stopped drinking essentially because it got away from me and I started drinking by myself on a daily basis to where my wife would find me passed out. This is my 2nd time around(first relapse was at the 10 month mark) This go around I have a year and 2 weeks. I went through something bad, and just couldn't deal so I just started drinking more and more and when I wanted to stop, I couldn't.

 

[dirty]

I tried to quit last month. Told myself I was gonna go to the gym eat right stop drinking ect. I went 5 days then killed a 24 pack... so disappointed in myself smh

 

[dhart48]

I tried to quit last month. Told myself I was gonna go to the gym eat right stop drinking ect. I went 5 days then killed a 24 pack... so disappointed in myself smh

you're all good man, look back at what made you slip, make a better plan, even going as far as planning your entire days(something i do) and bounce back. Your fighting a beast so you gotta become a beast yourself

 

[sooperhooper]

I've been drinking a lot lately the last few years. I'm not really concerned but it has definitely caught my attention. I checked my bank statement to see how much I've spent in liquor stores and I was staggered by the entries. I live by myself and I go out a lot since I'm single and that causes me to but lots of alcohol. I thoroughly enjoy getting on an enjoyable level but try not to go beyond that. There are a handful of times that I got too plastered, fell asleep in my car 3 times in the past 3 years, low key ashamed of that. It's like I want to cut back but I don't want to at the same time. I even enjoy getting a nice buzz when I'm home alone and jam out to my favorite music. I don't smoke so this is basically my only escape.