Anyone completely stop drinking?

[dhart48]

Worst part about it is defending yourself when you know your trying, it might be days sober weeks, months but any mistake, accident, problem is most likely your fault, and people's first thought is you've been drinking or doing drugs...

yeah, so far my wife's been good, this my 2nd go around(had 10 months before) and after I relapsed she was all up my ***, calling me randomly in the middle of the day asking what i'm doing. The program I'm in had an educational day once a week and I took her to those, so she gets it enough to know that her calling me everyday just to see if I'm drinking or nto won't do anything, still I'm waiting for something to go wrong in which I wasn't drinking just to see how it'll go. I def respect you for laughing it off. I know before I couldn't do that, hopefully I can have that same attitude towards it, it's hard not to take it so personal when you're putting in the work.

quietly had 7 months yesterday, seriously debating on if I should tell my wife when I get a year, I'm for sure getting a chip though

 

[dhart48]

I may be seeing my SIL for the first time in person since I wrote that email, and haven't heard from her. My Brother in law and his wife and my adorable niece are in town, which I'm pretty stoked about. There's a huge chance she won't be there as she has a knack for at the last minute something "coming up" (which happened on Christmas and not actual Christmas but in January because everyone schedules lined up then) I know I can't bank on that every time, but I have so much anger towards her, that I'd rather not interact with her at all. Not even say Hi to her really. She isn't on my social media and her # is off my phone.
Even if she explained herself now, things will honestly never be how they were and I'm not sure they should be.

 

[salazaro44]

I ended up having 3 beers on my birthday spread out over the night. I had 1 at a local brewery by work and started feeling a bit buzzed.
I stopped to pump gas and picked up snus. (Smokeless tobacco since I used to smoke when I drank)Kind of glad I did. I felt nauseous from it and couldn't drink more even though I mentally wanted to.
It felt like the universe was lending that extra help to keep me on my sobriety.
My friend surprised me with tickets to the clippers/jazz game 5. At the game I went to get beers for my friend and I during half time. The beer I ordered had kicked at all the taps at the beer stand after filling a glass half way. The bartender asked if I wanted it comped in a smaller glass. It must've been 12-16 ounces instead of that usual 24-32 oz stadium cups.
I nursed that cup the rest of the game and didn't want to get more since I had the stomach ache.

I've been spending my time at the gym again and found a new hobby in bouldering. I've lost significant amount of weight since cutting the alcohol and sticking to a paleo diet. Feels good. My barber asked where the other half of me went today.

It's not easy to abstain. The cravings for alcohol can be intense sometimes especially at concerts and social setting but I know I'm just a better person when I don't open that door. Sometimes if I'm out with friends and establishments don't have healthy drink alternatives I feel like Rickey Bobby when he's being interviewed and doesn't know what to do with his hands.

I had a conversation with a friend today, reminiscing and certain things I had done in the past came up. I just felt completely ashamed and embarrassed but Im thankful it feels like it happened a lifetime ago.

Take it one day at a time guys. Stay strong.

 

[justballin11]

I did. It's pretty easy.

 

[Baby Newport]

I did. It's pretty easy.

Where were you at drinking wise that it was "easy" for you to stop?

 

[justballin11]

Where were you at drinking wise that it was "easy" for you to stop?

I'm 28 now, but I quit last year and it was easy for me because I got traumatized from my doctor to stop. College days of partying every weekend and drinking until blacking out.

 

[bendover]

I'm really thinking about stopping cold turkey.
I'm entering another phase in life where I don't think it's beneficial to continue drinking and Wildin out.
I think the hardest part would be saying NO, because I'm usually the one that says "who's down"

 

[gentrification]

Props if its easy. "Stopped" in January been like 90+ days. Took a sip of some when I popped molly. But weather getting nicer and everything seems to revolve around drank as an adult. Hlla hard for me. Need to cut down on the dank that's really my true vice.

 

[dhart48]

How's everyone been? on 9 months and 4 days. I've settled in to 630am meetings 3-4 times a week. I like them and most people I went to group with at Kaiser still attend that meeting which is cool. Still living the quiet life which I'm fine with, just movies, hiking and exploring small towns with my wife(went to sausalito yesterday and visited a lighthouse, pretty fun)

I recently got some news that someone who did me dirty and hasn't changed their ways isn't really doing well themselves, so I'm extremely mindful to not get on my soapbox to people with the "I told you so" or act like I'm better. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about it, since I didn't and still haven't done anything to them. I gotta be mindful though and not become prideful for sure. Putting out on here helps

Bday is coming up(the 11th) but I'm keeping that lowkey and just doing the MoMa and eating dinner in the city.

Figured I'd post in here because I'll blink and there will be a 2018 thread

take care NT fam

 

[RIP sleazyy]

38 days.

 

[gentrification]

How's everyone been? on 9 months and 4 days. I've settled in to 630am meetings 3-4 times a week. I like them and most people I went to group with at Kaiser still attend that meeting which is cool. Still living the quiet life which I'm fine with, just movies, hiking and exploring small towns with my wife(went to sausalito yesterday and visited a lighthouse, pretty fun)

I recently got some news that someone who did me dirty and hasn't changed their ways isn't really doing well themselves, so I'm extremely mindful to not get on my soapbox to people with the "I told you so" or act like I'm better. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about it, since I didn't and still haven't done anything to them. I gotta be mindful though and not become prideful for sure. Putting out on here helps

Bday is coming up(the 11th) but I'm keeping that lowkey and just doing the MoMa and eating dinner in the city.

Figured I'd post in here because I'll blink and there will be a 2018 thread

take care NT fam

Props. Still battling with my vices. Been drinking here and thereon the weekends but nothing major. Today I didn't smoke bud and I'm planning on stopping everything after today. I really want to.

 

[dhart48]

Props. Still battling with my vices. Been drinking here and thereon the weekends but nothing major. Today I didn't smoke bud and I'm planning on stopping everything after today. I really want to.

thanks man!
You can do it man, put that thought and desire into action!

 

[salazaro44]

Hey guys. Checking in. I was doing fairly well but my demons are getting the best of me lately. I came down with an eye infection 2 weeks ago and ruined my rock climbing routine. Not having a rush of adrenaline made going back to drinking fairly easy. I'm still sticking to a full paleo diet but I'm slipping with my drinking. I'm having a beer as I type this.

That spark of a youthful, invigorating life has dissipated and I'm heavily considering AA meetings. I'm realizing I can't do this alone. The more I reflect the more I realize the friends I have are mostly based on the craft beer culture. I find the craft beer culture to be a facade for alcohol dependency and abuse.

Dhart48, any advice on aa meetings?You mentioned Kaiser. I'm assuming the healthcare consortium.
Any info from anyone on meetings would be greatly appreciated.

 

[dhart48]

Hey guys. Checking in. I was doing fairly well but my demons are getting the best of me lately. I came down with an eye infection 2 weeks ago and ruined my rock climbing routine. Not having a rush of adrenaline made going back to drinking fairly easy. I'm still sticking to a full paleo diet but I'm slipping with my drinking. I'm having a beer as I type this.

That spark of a youthful, invigorating life has dissipated and I'm heavily considering AA meetings. I'm realizing I can't do this alone. The more I reflect the more I realize the friends I have are mostly based on the craft beer culture. I find the craft beer culture to be a facade for alcohol dependency and abuse.

Dhart48, any advice on aa meetings?You mentioned Kaiser. I'm assuming the healthcare consortium.
Any info from anyone on meetings would be greatly appreciated.

I tend to put my long reads in a spoiler just click

Spoiler

Glad you're checking in man and more importantly you realized what made you slip. Seems like you got a dope routine too, it's gonna seem hard to get back into it and thats all mental but once you do, you'll be good bro! Man, your self awareness is through the roof.

Yeah when I went to AA I went through the Kaiser chemical dependency program. I googled the closest one near me and called them. They basically ask you how much you drink, what you drink and set up an appointment. I can't stress enough to just be honest, they just want to help. I only say this because I was pretty guarded and even when I came in, I came in still loaded, that whole "last hurrah" mentality.
I'll stop there on the Kaiser front, because I'm not sure if you will go that route. I can tell you more if you decide to though, just ask.

I only brought up the Kaiser portion because it's a lot easier to meet people and usually they make you go to meetings daily and usually you'll go with the people in the group with you(assuming you'll make friends which isn't hard), so you already have faces you know there. Not sure how you do in completely new surroundings on your own, but you can also go on your own(obviously) For me, I was just awkward, but people are friendly and let you know they were once in your shoes.

It's hard to describe AA meetings, it's def a smorgashboard of the best and the worst of Alcoholics( Whatever that means ) so be prepared. Not every meeting I've been to something has popped off and usually old heads are on top of it because they want to keep the meeting moving with no distractions, there's really hardly any screwing around during the meetings, the important thing is to find the meeting that works for you, go to different ones. Not all are the same. Have a sense of humor, one thing I've learned is to laugh ALOT and laugh at stuff I wouldn't dare joke about with someone who isn't in the program(like my wife) I think that's what I love about AA is the community. The meeting itself is great but it's also amazing to arrive 10-15 mins early and shoot the **** with the people you met. they play cards, bones or just talk and joke, swap old stories about hiding places and all the dumb **** we did just for that drink. I'm laughing right now just thinking about it.

Once you find the right meeting, you're in good company. Usually you can just google your county or city with AA in the search and usually a directory comes up, tells you all the meetings, addresses and what type of meetings they have with times.

My last thing about Kaiser(I'm not trying to be preachy, but they are a great starting point, if you have the coverage)
I had 10 months before my 1st relapse(2nd time around this time) one of the biggest components was because I moved and it was hard to get settled back in to my routine, i had to find meetings, basically start the network all up again, that was hard. Well the day after my relapse, since i was in the Hospital the previous night, Kaiser actually called me to bring me in to that area's program to get back on my feet. I always thought it was awesome to get that call, because without hesitation I said yes and was back in with a group and therapist working on myself and getting back on track, it was crazy just because my wife really hadn't started yelling at me yet(since it was literally the next day after the hospital) and I was already back in a program (it's only funny NOW that I'm still going strong)

I don't know if you have a SO or a family member or a close friend who knows about what you're going though, but they also have a saturday education day where you can bring your family and they educate them(and you) on various topics regarding addiction/alcoholism, it's pretty helpful in the communication area, I know it helped my wife for sure to get off my ***. ok that's it on the Kaiser front and on everything as a whole

hope I helped and if you have anymore questions, feel free to ask

 

[sooperhooper]

I'm a moderate drinker, doubt I'll ever stop. I kinda see how it can be addictive though. I love how I feel when I'm in my level, I just don't feel the urge to get that regularly. I didn't start drinking until my mid /late 20s. 33 now.

People used to always ask me how did I get by without drinking, now I see what they mean. I gotta take a break from liquor though, it's weighing me down, like, I can feel that I've got too much in my system.

 

[polosanddunks]

Unless im with my peoples or going out i just keep it light and drink wine.

Idk how people do it drinking 7 days a week

 

[Trey Bantz]

Reading this makes me glad I'm not alone. I've had a drinking problem for 7 years. I don't drink everyday, but I do on the weekends, and when I start I can't stop. I'm tired of the blackouts, the stories, the embarrassment I feel, and the self-loathing. I just want to stop and never touch alcohol again, but the social pressures can be too much. Luckily for me, right now I'm studying for the bar exam, so I have an excuse to not go out. But I'm afraid that after the exam prep is over, the vicious cycle will start all over again. I honestly don't know what to do. I know I need to stop, but I always succumb to social pressure and the instant pleasure of a night out.

 

[eiddyfouw]

To my dudes who drink daily, how is your work performance? Do you come in looking like yesterday? Just curious.

I can't party hard during the week. My eyes get red easily

Spoiler

I drink throughout the week, but limit myself big time. I can have 2 beers after work (sometimes more), and call it a day. Or 2 beers or wine while watching the Champions League and be fine, then I also try hard to take a glass of water to bed.

I'm quite lucky though, that while having drinks I often have this feeling of "I don't want this anymore", and I just stop. I don't understand how people can drink and drink until they just pass out. I also try to keep a couple rules. I don't drink when feeling down. I also only drink what tastes good, and I stay away from shots, I also try not to mix drinks.

That's me personally.

But a dude who I worked with, pints it hard damn near every night. We'd have after work drinks a couple times a week. And to be honest with you, I never want to be like dude. I'm confident he feels like death every morning. Performance is down the toilet for sure, getting by on the skin of his teeth. Homelife is a mess due to other reasons, but I can tell you for sure the drinking doesn't help. When your wife is calling you to remind you not to have too many at lunch cause you have a late afternoon meeting, you know you have problems.

I'll say to anyone, if you can't or don't want to limit yourself, then rather stay out of the game, truth be told you're not missing thaaaat much.

It's actually kind of interesting reading this now. While everything I wrote is 100% true, my position has changed slightly. I switched to no drinking in the week. The main reason is that I wanted to be in better shape, so I switched from gym every now and again in the afternoon/evenings, to every week morning before 7am (except Friday cause Thursday's is date night ).

As much as I don't have a drinking problem, I'm aware of how easily one can kick in, hence I decided to continue to take preventative measures. With that said, I think it's important to have hobbies, particularly active hobbies. Not just gym, but a sport/hobby that you're passionate about is important, cause you'll prioritize it even over meeting with friends "for a drink" which leads to social pressure.

I wish all of ya'll all the best who are fighting those demons. Never give up, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

[isco]

I only drink when I'm out at a club/bar/party

 

[dhart48]

Reading this makes me glad I'm not alone. I've had a drinking problem for 7 years. I don't drink everyday, but I do on the weekends, and when I start I can't stop. I'm tired of the blackouts, the stories, the embarrassment I feel, and the self-loathing. I just want to stop and never touch alcohol again, but the social pressures can be too much. Luckily for me, right now I'm studying for the bar exam, so I have an excuse to not go out. But I'm afraid that after the exam prep is over, the vicious cycle will start all over again. I honestly don't know what to do. I know I need to stop, but I always succumb to social pressure and the instant pleasure of a night out.

Sounds like you're ready to make a change my man. I sounded a lot like that when I wanted to stop. Read my above post in the spoiler about gathering tools that can help man. Straight up i can tell you, the first step is unplugging from those social pressures/lifestyle and with you on your way to being a lawyer...that's gonna be hard. I've met quite a few in that profession in my program, that say it gets pretty crazy.

It's nothing thats above you though and yeah sacrifices you are capable of making will have to be made, but at the end of the day, its nice to just be able to look in the mirror, like really look yourself dead in the eye in the mirror and feel comfortable. No feeling like it in the world.

 

[drewdioxin2345]

Right there with you OP. 

went SxE two years ago again for health/monetary/spiritual reasons. Haven't looked back. The occasion will come where I am out and about and socially would like A drink but my ethics and morals these days are personally set so high for myself I don't let myself slip up. 

There is a bit of a social stigma because culturally, get togethers/meetings/dates are so centered around drinking/partying/clubbing which just are not my bag. I find if you have the right people around you that do or do not drink, they will be supportive and accepting, but there are times where you will get the "you can have just one and it won't kill you" type stuff. While that may be true, will it end up being worth feeling bad about it later? To myself, no, probably not. 

If you can balance the occasional one, go for it, I don't judge anyone to make whatever choice it is with their body as long as it does not harm another party. I do think culturally people who choose to abstain from illicit substances and mind/mood altering agents should not be seen as some sort of pariah however. 

 

[John Wick]

anybody think having a 1-3 beers a day after work and alcohol rarely for for social settings is bad? I enjoy my beer but its getting to the point my wife is asking me to cut back.

I go to the gym, work everyday on time, i dont go to the bar or clubs. I have my beers at home after work. I dont have any drinking buddies to go to happy hour or the clubs im solo so that helps, im not out here spending ridiculous amounts of money on drinking either.


Im not out here blacking out and acting foolish, i rarely get hangovers unless i drink liquor, beer rarely gives me a hangover. By the time i had my 2nd or 3rd beer i start getting tired and usually fall asleep at the end of a long work day.

 

[7th Chamber]

anybody think having a 1-3 beers a day after work and alcohol rarely for for social settings is bad? I enjoy my beer but its getting to the point my wife is asking me to cut back.

I go to the gym, work everyday on time, i dont go to the bar or clubs. I have my beers at home after work. I dont have any drinking buddies to go to happy hour or the clubs im solo so that helps, im not out here spending ridiculous amounts of money on drinking either.


Im not out here blacking out and acting foolish, i rarely get hangovers unless i drink liquor, beer rarely gives me a hangover. By the time i had my 2nd or 3rd beer i start getting tired and usually fall asleep at the end of a long work day.

Per day? I think that's a lot, especially if your wife is asking you to cut back. It's not about the money, going out to bars and clubs or the fact that you don't act a fool; it's about how your body is going to eventually break down. I watched my dad have a few beers every night to crash out after a long day at work and it eventually caught up to him and nearly took his life. It may not sound like much, but once you add it up over the long run, 1-3 beers a day is excessive.

 

[John Wick]

Per day? I think that's a lot, especially if your wife is asking you to cut back. It's not about the money, going out to bars and clubs or the fact that you don't act a fool; it's about how your body is going to eventually break down. I watched my dad have a few beers every night to crash out after a long day at work and it eventually caught up to him and nearly took his life. It may not sound like much, but once you add it up over the long run, 1-3 beers a day is excessive.

How did it almost take his life if i may ask?

yea per day im not in here to quit. But to see how my drinking habits stacks up to everyone else. But everyone in this thread is almost stating the same thing about how they drink alot but not stating what they are drinking and how much a day. There were a few who did tho.

But i will for now on be cutting back. I really dont see the effect its having on me by drinking beer i still get up and do what i need to do and its not ruining my life. Now i have met people who done had DUI's, flipped they cars driving home from a bar, to some who beat they wives/GF's up and cant even remember.

But me and my beer dont hurt no one we just fall asleep

But im getting concerned because now my wife is starting to complain.

 

[sundoobie]

anybody think having a 1-3 beers a day after work and alcohol rarely for for social settings is bad? I enjoy my beer but its getting to the point my wife is asking me to cut back.

I go to the gym, work everyday on time, i dont go to the bar or clubs. I have my beers at home after work. I dont have any drinking buddies to go to happy hour or the clubs im solo so that helps, im not out here spending ridiculous amounts of money on drinking either.


Im not out here blacking out and acting foolish, i rarely get hangovers unless i drink liquor, beer rarely gives me a hangover. By the time i had my 2nd or 3rd beer i start getting tired and usually fall asleep at the end of a long work day.

Let's see...

You drink at home (safe)

You work out (keeping in shape)

Work everyday on time (responsible)

You don't black out (control)

People have their own ways of dealing with the day to day stress of 'life' whether it be playing video games, trees, pick up ball, MMA/Boxing, or in your case alcohol. As long as you're taking care of business... I do not see any issues at all. The wifey needs to chill.