Anyone else doesn't have any friends?

[superblytrife]

I have friends....just not anywhere close to where I live. The only time I kick it with anyone else besides my wife, kids and other family is when I visit back home. Sucks.

 

[d e beatup]

Originally Posted by Hyper

I have 2 people that live w/ me.

Outside of them, everybody else can go %+%@ themselves.

That friend word is thrown around way too loosely.

Can't stress this enough.  Being cool with somebody doesn't make them my "friend".  The reason I don't have friends is because I set the bar high for myself and expect the same thing in return.  Like if my boy calls me at 3am cause he's on the side of the road w/ his car broken down, I'm there.  If my friend needs to borrow $200 to pay a bill, if I got it, I got you.  If you need to crash at my crib for a few weeks and you got no job. no money, just clean up after yourself and you're good.

One of the worst feelings in the world is thinking that someone who is supposed to be your friend actually lets you down or hangs you out to dry.  At my last employer we had a shady district manager who just went about his business in a really slimy, underhanded way.  He'd get rid of managers left & right and would know he was canning them a month in advance but still act like he was so pleased to be around us.  Two of my fellow managers who i thought were like close, close friends knew he was up to funny business with me and didn't say a peep.  I didn't even need them to tell me everything that was going on, just lmk that "Hey bro, watch your back" or something.  I'd rather be solo dolo than to falsely think I can trust somebody when times get tough.

I almost feel that finding good friends is like finding a mate/spouse; it just has to happen & you can't force it.  Gotta wait for "the one" (or w/ good friends "the ones I suppose) or else you set yourself up for failure.  I got enought "patnas" or "homies" I can kick it w/ a work, etc. but I value friendship too heavily to get okie doked again.

 

[Deleted member 37467]

Originally Posted by d e beatup

Originally Posted by Hyper

I have 2 people that live w/ me.

Outside of them, everybody else can go %+%@ themselves.

That friend word is thrown around way too loosely.

Can't stress this enough.  Being cool with somebody doesn't make them my "friend".  The reason I don't have friends is because I set the bar high for myself and expect the same thing in return.  Like if my boy calls me at 3am cause he's on the side of the road w/ his car broken down, I'm there.  If my friend needs to borrow $200 to pay a bill, if I got it, I got you.  If you need to crash at my crib for a few weeks and you got no job. no money, just clean up after yourself and you're good.

One of the worst feelings in the world is thinking that someone who is supposed to be your friend actually lets you down or hangs you out to dry.  At my last employer we had a shady district manager who just went about his business in a really slimy, underhanded way.  He'd get rid of managers left & right and would know he was canning them a month in advance but still act like he was so pleased to be around us.  Two of my fellow managers who i thought were like close, close friends knew he was up to funny business with me and didn't say a peep.  I didn't even need them to tell me everything that was going on, just lmk that "Hey bro, watch your back" or something.  I'd rather be solo dolo than to falsely think I can trust somebody when times get tough.

I almost feel that finding good friends is like finding a mate/spouse; it just has to happen & you can't force it.  Gotta wait for "the one" (or w/ good friends "the ones I suppose) or else you set yourself up for failure.  I got enought "patnas" or "homies" I can kick it w/ a work, etc. but I value friendship too heavily to get okie doked again.

We should be friends.

 

[levar burton]

Originally Posted by d e beatup

Originally Posted by Hyper

I have 2 people that live w/ me.

Outside of them, everybody else can go %+%@ themselves.

That friend word is thrown around way too loosely.

Can't stress this enough.  Being cool with somebody doesn't make them my "friend".  The reason I don't have friends is because I set the bar high for myself and expect the same thing in return.  Like if my boy calls me at 3am cause he's on the side of the road w/ his car broken down, I'm there.  If my friend needs to borrow $200 to pay a bill, if I got it, I got you.  If you need to crash at my crib for a few weeks and you got no job. no money, just clean up after yourself and you're good.

One of the worst feelings in the world is thinking that someone who is supposed to be your friend actually lets you down or hangs you out to dry.  At my last employer we had a shady district manager who just went about his business in a really slimy, underhanded way.  He'd get rid of managers left & right and would know he was canning them a month in advance but still act like he was so pleased to be around us.  Two of my fellow managers who i thought were like close, close friends knew he was up to funny business with me and didn't say a peep.  I didn't even need them to tell me everything that was going on, just lmk that "Hey bro, watch your back" or something.  I'd rather be solo dolo than to falsely think I can trust somebody when times get tough.

I almost feel that finding good friends is like finding a mate/spouse; it just has to happen & you can't force it.  Gotta wait for "the one" (or w/ good friends "the ones I suppose) or else you set yourself up for failure.  I got enought "patnas" or "homies" I can kick it w/ a work, etc. but I value friendship too heavily to get okie doked again.

Pretty much sums up my perspective.

 

[swayzer]

Originally Posted by Hyper

I have 2 people that live w/ me.

Outside of them, everybody else can go %+%@ themselves.

That friend word is thrown around way too loosely.

I agree with this and your signature.

 

[jrdnsrnss]

Been in the same boat for awhile now, i know a good amount of people but none that i really wanna hang out with on a regular basis. I can say i have one true friend that i hang out with. Throughout my life i've always liked doing things alone so i guess that's why i never really made friends easily, at least ones i want to hang with. 

 

[igniteandexcite]

Yeah. I def feel this way a lot. During high school I had a lot of friends, but those friendships just started to slowly dissolve after that. I took a year off after to work and I expected that I would be partying every weekend with my high school friends, but I really started to grow apart from the vast majority of them. I had an overtraining injury to do with my leg that I sustained last summer, so this year I've been forced to take more time off. At this point I literally have 4 good friends I keep in contact with and that's it. Kinda sad at the age of 20. Oh well, I'll be away for school next fall so hopefully I can make new friendships at school. I'd say I'm a moderately social person who is quiet at times

 

[xilegacy]

Originally Posted by Levar Burton

Originally Posted by xilegacy

I have 3 friends 2 of them I knew since childhood and the other since high school. Everyone else is just people I meet.

I wish I had the ability to stay true to this logic, but I'm a very loyal person. Once I allow you in my life  it's hard to shut out someone emotionally.

I had a lot friends different types of people in different circles. We grew apart and just stopped talking. Once you get older you will realize a lot people are scumbags, leeches, selfish individuals that don't have your best interest at heart. I don' just let anyone into my life anymore because of those reasons. Plus I can get to know someone at party or at work and I'll hang out with them if they want but will just look at them as acquaintances. I don't need more friends because the few I have from childhood know me very well. Plus I am a very guarded person and don't open up to people about my personal life. I have my friends and my siblings that I am very close to and that's enough for me. Where ever I am in life I know these people will be there for me  just like I will be for them and I can't say that about everyone else I meet.

 

[fraij da 5 11]

Originally Posted by RaWeX05

You got a friend in me.

*Immediately think back to original Toy Story*

 

[levar burton]

Originally Posted by xilegacy

Originally Posted by Levar Burton

Originally Posted by xilegacy

I have 3 friends 2 of them I knew since childhood and the other since high school. Everyone else is just people I meet.

I wish I had the ability to stay true to this logic, but I'm a very loyal person. Once I allow you in my life  it's hard to shut out someone emotionally.

I had a lot friends different types of people in different circles. We grew apart and just stopped talking. Once you get older you will realize a lot people are scumbags, leeches, selfish individuals that don't have your best interest at heart. I don' just let anyone into my life anymore because of those reasons. Plus I can get to know someone at party or at work and I'll hang out with them if they want but will just look at them as acquaintances. I don't need more friends because the few I have from childhood know me very well. Plus I am a very guarded person and don't open up to people about my personal life. I have my friends and my siblings that I am very close to and that's enough for me. Where ever I am in life I know these people will be there for me  just like I will be for them and I can't say that about everyone else I meet.

I've been back stabbed more than a dozen times last year, this really skewed my perspective and crippled me socially ever since. I never want to feel like this again, I'm scared to let people in because I literally have no friends I'm scared once people find that out about me they would think I was some sort of misfit or weirdo. People might try to take advantage of my vulnerability or tease me for it and call me desperate.
People are hurtful and weird if you let them in, and that's what I'm afraid of. Just don't have the energy to be hurt again in that way. 

 

[papageorgeo510]

Yo, if you're in the Bay I'm down to link up!

 

[jaysneaks]

I cut off everyone I used to associate with, wont even call them "friends"..
It was more like a crowd of negative, munipulative, sheisty, attention seeking, deceitful, liars.. the dudes & females. I realized this about 2 months back & none of them have heard from me since. Best decision I've ever made yo.. I've changed my lifestyle picked up new hobbies and am now focused and going after all my goals, doing everything the way it should be done and have truly grown + matured out of my old ways.. sometimes you've gotta just make you're next move you're best move.
Only surround yourself in positive uplifting people, who'd wanna see you prosper in whatever you do and acheive you're goals in life.. I used to be around nothing but snakes so I'm grateful for the reality check.

Don't dwell on !%!# bro, its unhealthy. Thank god you're actually doing something w/ yourself because trying to keep so called "friends" can also hold you back. I do just about everything olo, and its alot less stressfull.I keep God 1st Fam 2nd, & I'll meet that "ONE" woman for me sooner or later.Be cool!If God wants them in you're life, rest assured that's where they'll end up.

 

[frank 7he t4nk]

This thread is depressing...

Makes me really grateful to have a few great friends in my life.

I can see where you guys are coming from though, I'd be super jaded as well if I had "friends" like that as well.

 

[igniteandexcite]

Originally Posted by JaySNEAKS

I cut off everyone I used to associate with, wont even call them "friends"..
It was more like a crowd of negative, munipulative, sheisty, attention seeking, deceitful, liars.. the dudes & females. I realized this about 2 months back & none of them have heard from me since. Best decision I've ever made yo.. I've changed my lifestyle picked up new hobbies and am now focused and going after all my goals, doing everything the way it should be done and have truly grown + matured out of my old ways.. sometimes you've gotta just make you're next move you're best move.
Only surround yourself in positive uplifting people, who'd wanna see you prosper in whatever you do and acheive you're goals in life.. I used to be around nothing but snakes so I'm grateful for the reality check.

Don't dwell on !!%* bro, its unhealthy.. Thank god you're actually doing something w/ yourself because trying to keep so called "friends" can also hold you back.

Yeah well put bro. I drifted away from a lot of my friends but there is a specific circle of people that I stopped hanging out with by choice. All they did was smoke, drink, and rip on other people behind their backs. At a certain point those negative thoughts about others started to consume my life and they districted me from accomplishing my goals. It was the last straw for me when I heard that a few of them were dissing me and talking negatively about me behind my back. I'd rather be lonely than be surrounded by a bunch of snakes. 

 

[stay lurkin]

You are fine bro. Keep doing you and work on your future. Things will come together and the benefits will be tenfold

 

[itzjono]

Sign me up!, Honestly though this thread is genuinely depressing

 

[DeadsetAce]

This thread is depressing. Not cause some people may not have friends, thats not that crazy to me. But its depressing because some go through life with the view that they cant trust anyone outside of famiy (which is 100% bs btw).

 

[njcollector]

I'll be your friend bro....

 

[erickm713]

Moved to San Antonio 2 years ago, made a couple friends my last year of HS but none that I kept around, they only called when they needed stuff.
Now I only have one person I hang with every once in a while, I already have friends and I really don't feel like making anymore.

I'm just a very private person who enjoys their privacy.

 

[retrospect90]

This makes me appreciative of the friends I have. I didn't grow up with any brothers and my cousins around my age are in jail or selling drugs. My best friends (like 5 of them) I have now are like brothers to me.

 

[gregzzy23]

Originally Posted by DeadsetAce

This thread is depressing. Not cause some people may not have friends, thats not that crazy to me. But its depressing because some go through life with the view that they cant trust anyone outside of famiy (which is 100% bs btw).

When that view is developed from experience..its hard to ignore it. I'm in a similar situation. I always did stuff dolo until I developed a pretty good circle in high school. I fell out with nearly all of them. Pretty much all that was left was dudes I chiefed with and when I realized we mainly chief and I immediately wanna bolt cause I dont wanna be in their company I went back to my dolo ways. I wish I wasnt so hardheaded because those I used to be close with did reach out but I didnt act on it. Now those relationships are pretty much expired. The thing with me is being dolo has been natural for me since birth (only child, didnt have a cousin till I was 19 years old myself) so I dont dwell not having a tight knit circle. I'll say this though if you feel strongly enough about a FRIENDSHIP, not some associate stuff, put your ego aside and pursue it.

 

[d e beatup]

Well I can see why it can come across as depressing but I don't have any by choice.  What people aren't getting is that you can still go out & have fun and do things with people - just to an extent.  I go hoop with some of the guys from work on Sundays and I do chat it up with select co-workers during our breaks.  For me personally, you can go to functions and events with people or associates that you're "cool with".  Just because I restrict who I spend a good amount of time with or who I let in my life doesn't make my life full of doom and gloom.  It's no different than when people aren't in a relationship; choosing to be single doesn't make you a lonely loser missing out on life.

I heard this somewhere before but they say that the people you surround yourself with are a mirror of who you are and strive to be.  I strive to be the best I can at work, with my children and to my family and those close to me.  I'd rather not have anyone close to me than have a fraud or someone who's not 100 in what they do as well.

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by Frank 7he T4nk

This thread is depressing...

Makes me really grateful to have a few great friends in my life.

 

[23mjordan45]

still rollin with my 3 homies since 4th grade

 

[nicke1z]

I know that feel bro. I just moved from Minneapolis to get away from all the two faced people a few months ago to Florida and im solo dolo now. It doesn't help that im not much of a people person either.