Being Cordial to Random People

[Nujavez]

This too OMG you have no clue dude. I think its cuz I'm small and cats want to try me

I usually look aways because I ain't trying to end up fighting for no damn reason

Do you look away or do you stare back????

I look away then look back to see if they still mugging. Then just look away and ignore them. Ain't nobody got time for that lol

 

[mangudai954]

It also ties into where you were raised. Someone who is raised in a place or area were strangers rarely speak are more likely to adopt this habit as well. This is normal from a social standpoint. I remember when I use to work at a college. People who moved here from other states (DMV and other southern states in particular) were amazed at how standoffish people are down here. You can say hi to someone walking down the street. They'll look at you, acknowledging they heard you, but will keep on walking not saying anything.

Reading the responses in here, I think a lot of you underestimate the power of a smile. It's so simple, so effortless, and has a ton of benefits.

I've only recently started to realize this.

 

[niyr]

 

Some days More than Half the time strangers/people are mugging if I look at them as we walk pass by so I just ignore most people those days.

Like this Mexican guy yesterday looked like he wanted to fight the second we made eye contact walking down the street. Then the walk by home theres this old Asian guy I see sometimes walking and the moment he sees me from like 50 feet away he'd start walking with his arms swinging hard back n forth, mugging and looking at me dead in the eye like he was trying to fight. He does this every time.



Other than that its easy for me to talk to most strangers if they start the convo.

This too OMG you have no clue dude. I think its cuz I'm small and cats want to try me

I usually look aways because I ain't trying to end up fighting for no damn reason

Do you look away or do you stare back????

If you get shook runnin over curbs and cars honking at you then they have a reason to try you

 

[wj4]

It also ties into where you were raised. Someone who is raised in a place or area were strangers rarely speak are more likely to adopt this habit as well. This is normal from a social standpoint. I remember when I use to work at a college. People who moved here from other states (DMV and other southern states in particular) were amazed at how standoffish people are down here. You can say hi to someone walking down the street. They'll look at you, acknowledging they heard you, but will keep on walking not saying anything.
I've only recently started to realize this.

The average NTer makes it seem that life is so grimey that you can't smile or else you'll be labeled as soft.

If you're in a hurry when someone is making small talk, just tell them that. I do it from time to time.

You really learn to grow out of your shell after college when you get a professional job really, even if you are an introvert.

RE: Introvert/extrovert....an introvert can be 'the life of the party', but it takes more thoughts and energy input since that isn't something that's natural to them. It comes more naturally for an extrovert.

 

[flyny]

Being nice to random people?
Wtf? That's soft
Where they do that at? definitely not where I'm from.

Where I'm from you don't say **** if don't no body say nothing to you. You mind ya business because you never know what's on anyone's mind real talk.

****** wanna be all happy go lucky and smile at random pedestrians, then be surprised when they gettin dragged up a block in nothing but some boxers. If you walk around smiling at random folks, you're going to look like straight FOOD, my *****

I don't want no man looking at me smiling.
If it's a girl, then yea it's whatever, might hit em with a "you like what you see?" And let it go from there. If dinner lead to breakfast it's all good.

 

[girlslovewaffles]

Being nice to random people?
Wtf? That's soft
Where they do that at? definitely not where I'm from.

Where I'm from you don't say **** if don't no body say nothing to you. You mind ya business because you never know what's on anyone's mind real talk.

****** wanna be all happy go lucky and smile at random pedestrians, then be surprised when they gettin dragged up a block in nothing but some boxers. If you walk around smiling at random folks, you're going to look like straight FOOD, my *****

I don't want no man looking at me smiling.
If it's a girl, then yea it's whatever, might hit em with a "you like what you see?" And let it go from there. If dinner lead to breakfast it's all good.

Not sure if serious.

 

[mangudai954]

Being nice to random people?
Wtf? That's soft
Where they do that at? definitely not where I'm from.

Where I'm from you don't say **** if don't no body say nothing to you. You mind ya business because you never know what's on anyone's mind real talk.

****** wanna be all happy go lucky and smile at random pedestrians, then be surprised when they gettin dragged up a block in nothing but some boxers. If you walk around smiling at random folks, you're going to look like straight FOOD, my *****

I don't want no man looking at me smiling.
If it's a girl, then yea it's whatever, might hit em with a "you like what you see?" And let it go from there. If dinner lead to breakfast it's all good.

Places that aren't the hood. Ergo almost everywhere else.

 

[RIP sleazyy]

be nice to everyone. it's not even hard.

Spoiler: kinda long, also not my story.

Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some **** happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.


This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.



Anyway, each of these times this **** happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really ****** 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say **** like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.



He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. ****.



No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best ******* tamale I have ever had.



So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...



But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My ******* $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English: "Today you.... tomorrow me."


Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best ******* tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.



In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through: "Today you.... tomorrow me."


tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.

 

[mangudai954]

The average NTer makes it seem that life is so grimey that you can't smile or else you'll be labeled as soft.

If you're in a hurry when someone is making small talk, just tell them that. I do it from time to time.

You really learn to grow out of your shell after college when you get a professional job really, even if you are an introvert.

RE: Introvert/extrovert....an introvert can be 'the life of the party', but it takes more thoughts and energy input since that isn't something that's natural to them. It comes more naturally for an extrovert.

Exactly. I always try to correct people when they mix up the meanings of introverted, shy, asocial, or misanthrope.

 

[girlslovewaffles]

That was a good read - thanks for sharing.

 

[OTG]

 
Being cordial is what you are supposed to be. It shows you're a civilized human being. It costs you nothing.

this.

 

[you go boy]

let me make this clear i don't say jack to nobody not because im a jackas but im just not simply used to it.... i actually want to be more outgoing and cordial and talk to anyone i make eye contact with... but with me it feels awkward.... i know it comes off rude but im not trying to portray that at all i just mind my own business and this can hurt me i know that especially with yambs... this is exactly why im trying to change my ways.... i guess i really just have to step out of my comfort zone and just talk to random people whether its people i don't usually talk to at work or people in general whether i go to the mall, supermarket, bar etc... like i said before i can make conversation easily when someone initiates it first but my weakness is starting the conversation in general and thats just a simple hi.... don't get it twisted depending on my mood i can be outgoing and say good morning or hello depending on my mood but my goal is to make it consistent and do it all the time....you guys make it seem easy because you are use to it and thats where im trying to be at really...only god can judge me

 

[brendasdeadbaby]

I have the same problem op. I just don't like ppl. I keep to myself and the circle of friends I know

 

[mangudai954]

let me make this clear i don't say jack to nobody not because im a jackas but im just not simply used to it.... i actually want to be more outgoing and cordial and talk to anyone i make eye contact with... but with me it feels awkward.... i know it comes off rude but im not trying to portray that at all i just mind my own business and this can hurt me i know that especially with yambs... this is exactly why im trying to change my ways.... i guess i really just have to step out of my comfort zone and just talk to random people whether its people i don't usually talk to at work or people in general whether i go to the mall, supermarket, bar etc... like i said before i can make conversation easily when someone initiates it first but my weakness is starting the conversation in general and thats just a simple hi.... don't get it twisted depending on my mood i can be outgoing and say good morning or hello depending on my mood but my goal is to make it consistent and do it all the time....you guys make it seem easy because you are use to it and thats where im trying to be at really...only god can judge me

Sounds to me like you're just a bit shy. That's a great start, I've been doing this as well.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

You negros iz willing to do anything for some yambs...... change your whole persona for some yambs


I don't converse with strangers easily, but I will smile, nod or say hello.

Just randomly say hello OP

Everyday pick one person to randomly say hello. It gets Easier with practice

 

[mplsdunk]

I usually just hit them with a nod or smile. I'll rarely start a convo with a stranger unless I'm at the bar or something. But people start them with me all the time. I guess I look interesting to talk to. don't mind girl at the taqueria plugs me now because I'm nice.

 

[deleted]

I'm polite to every person I meet unless I have a reason not to be.

 

[dipsetgeneral]

I have no problem being cordial to random strangers.

 

[SoleByThePound]

Seriously, Is Saying "Im An Introvert" The Cool New Trend?

It appears a lot of people that claim to be one are just socially awkward and don't really know what an "introvert" is. It definitely gets misused by a lot of people.

 

[jhova718]

soap box time.

Im a security guard (smh) and it blows my mind how oblivious people are. Being cordial means absolutely nothing anymore and it is a tragedy. Like several posters have said it takes zero effort and is a great way to make positive impressions on people. i greet everyone politely and genuinely but if its not reciprocated, i will assume you are a savage and treat you as such.

 

[blastercombo]

Here's another thing, you have no idea who you're talking to or making an impression with. The next guy you make small talk with maybe your next boss. Just my 2 cents

 

[ao17]

Maybe its just me but i find it tough to be cordial to random people. And some people get the wrong idea like im some stuck up person who doesn't like anyone. But the reality is I'm just a shy/introverted guy who just minds their own business. Its just something I gots to get used to but when initiating conversation it can be tough for me but if some random person came up to me and talked I have no problem coming up with a conversation back. Its weird. Even a friendly hello or good morning is something I don't do. For example the security guard at my job or even the maintenance guy I see every day and i just walk by them and go in the office without saying anything. It maybe rude but I guess I just mind my own business and keep it moving. Does anybody else do this or is it just me? I need to get over this and change my ways so I can be more yambitious

That's me to a T

 

[eazye 804]

soap box time.

Im a security guard (smh) and it blows my mind how oblivious people are. Being cordial means absolutely nothing anymore and it is a tragedy. Like several posters have said it takes zero effort and is a great way to make positive impressions on people. i greet everyone politely and genuinely but if its not reciprocated, i will assume you are a savage and treat you as such.

Here's another thing, you have no idea who you're talking to or making an impression with. The next guy you make small talk with maybe your next boss. Just my 2 cents

Both of these

 

[wj4]

Here's another thing, you have no idea who you're talking to or making an impression with. The next guy you make small talk with maybe your next boss. Just my 2 cents

Very true. This is why I always say that if you're my friend online, then you're a friend in real life.

This happened on another board, but it was awesome. Person A and Person B became acquainted with one another from the board, and local car-meets. Way later down the line, Person B got laid off from work. Unbeknownst to Person B, Person A is a high exec with strings. Person A got Person B a job.

soap box time.

Im a security guard (smh) and it blows my mind how oblivious people are. Being cordial means absolutely nothing anymore and it is a tragedy. Like several posters have said it takes zero effort and is a great way to make positive impressions on people. i greet everyone politely and genuinely but if its not reciprocated, i will assume you are a savage and treat you as such.

Sucks, man. Your company must have low work ethics, sorry to say (my last employer was like this so I peaced out ASAP). We treat everyone the same at my company be it the security guard that makes $15 an hour or a director that makes $300k a year. This is why our turnover rate is low. Someone usually brings in donuts or bagels for the security/receptionist team on Fridays since they do so much for us.

We also usually chip in to cop a nice bday gift for them too, be it tickets to Disneyland or a sporting event.

Small gestures like this go a long way to motivate employees, and separates world class firms from the rest.

 

[jhova718]

Here's another thing, you have no idea who you're talking to or making an impression with. The next guy you make small talk with maybe your next boss. Just my 2 cents

Very true. This is why I always say that if you're my friend online, then you're a friend in real life.

This happened on another board, but it was awesome. Person A and Person B became acquainted with one another from the board, and local car-meets. Way later down the line, Person B got laid off from work. Unbeknownst to Person B, Person A is a high exec with strings. Person A got Person B a job.

soap box time.

Im a security guard (smh) and it blows my mind how oblivious people are. Being cordial means absolutely nothing anymore and it is a tragedy. Like several posters have said it takes zero effort and is a great way to make positive impressions on people. i greet everyone politely and genuinely but if its not reciprocated, i will assume you are a savage and treat you as such.

Sucks, man. Your company must have low work ethics, sorry to say (my last employer was like this so I peaced out ASAP). We treat everyone the same at my company be it the security guard that makes $15 an hour or a director that makes $300k a year. This is why our turnover rate is low. Someone usually brings in donuts or bagels for the security/receptionist team on Fridays since they do so much for us.

We also usually chip in to cop a nice bday gift for them too, be it tickets to Disneyland or a sporting event.

Small gestures like this go a long way to motivate employees, and separates world class firms from the rest.

dont get me wrong, there are some in the building who are real cool but most walk by without acknowledging the security staff. I work at a front desk though so its not just the tenants, but also their visitors.

There are certain behaviors i find rude that most people dont even realize theyre doing. It stings but doesnt change how i behave for the most part.